Need This Running Through My Veins Because YESYESYESYES

I will just leave it there and pretend im normal about this dialogue

people who are against annotating or writing in books will never understand the pure joy and satisfaction i get from writing "girl what" or "she's so me" or other unintelligible useless comments at the side of the page like if you put my tumblr reblog tags in real life

THIS. And im so angry at myself that because of my way of living for this past 3 years i need to learn again how to just... Be ? How to calm down and do some small things if i want

in the meantime: study, journal, read more books, sit in silence, listen to music, take walks, take the stairs, do more things alone, do more things with friends, take notice of the small wonders of the world, create a sacred space in your mind

I was so inspired to make some collages for my three favs after finishing The Starless Sea ~

🐝🗝️🗡️

Oh so actually, yeah I will defend early day Adam and Blue and the fact that they dated and that it's crucial to both of them. Not just because it shows us what they both needed in a relationship, and why they didn't work with each other for their conflicting needs (though that is an excellent point and one I attribute to their narrative relevance.) but also because... they're really important to each other?

Adam and Blue meet, and it's when Adam is worried about being judged for who he is and Blue wanting to be wanted (and not just useful which is a concept that breaks me because ahhhhh) and they actually challenge that with each other? Blue is drawn to Adam because while he is attractive, he's also something different - she sees a fray in his jacket, and she likes that he isn't the typical Raven Boy. She likes this aspect of Adam he worries about being judged for. And you can say all you do about how Blue describes him in comparison to something dusty or how she compares him to traits of himself he detests, but while Adam dislikes these things Blue likes this about him. I cannot stress that enough. It was not what Adam needed (this is something Gansey, actually, needed) but it was important.

Blue wants to be wanted, to be around someone who sees her as more than just useful. And, yes, Adam does seem to evaluate her based on how useful she will be to the group, but it's important to note that Adam is drawn to Blue because he wants to be around her. He thinks she's funny. He thinks she's pretty. He legitimately likes her as a person. He seeks her out for physical comfort, not just because she's useful but because he likes being around her, he wants her, he wants her company. There is a lot you can say about how Adam equates usefulness with love and affection and he definitely values Blue based on her usefulness in the group but it's more than that. He envies her ease with which she makes friends, the confidence she has in herself. (Adam + Envy is also a prevalent theme with how he experiences attraction.) Adam genuinely admires Blue as a person. He wants to be around her, appreciates her input and her presence. And that was important to Blue at the moment.

And, yes, the ultimate issue comes into their conflicting needs in a relationship, but I think when it comes to Blue and Adam it's such a beautiful exploration of what a short-term romance brings to teenagers. It's common to explore relationships through these awkward fumbles between what you need in the moment and what you need in the long term. They get those awkward, first relationship jitters and anxieties together, they learn what they both need and value going further into their teen years. And it is messy and complex and all over the place and very hormonal. And that is a really precious thing to explore in a shorter relationship, especially with a friend, and with a person you feel understands you. (Something neither of them had gotten.) Also, if they hadn't dated they wouldn't have brought the group together. Poverty twin rizz, guys. They really carried the first book on their backs.

Anyway, my point is that Blue and Adam together are very valuable to the story, their character arcs, and please know you can give them the respect they deserve without detracting from Bluesey or Pynch or detracting from the significance of their friendships. I actually think if they'd been given more time, that platonic dynamic would've been one of the strongest in the series. Because when you share such a valuable milestone (the horrors of teen dating) you bond on a level many don't understand or relate to. Blue and Adam I love you.

Okay, so another one great show that was cancelled by netflix to my list ✍🏻

At this point why im even trying to watch smt except for cooking shows on this platform if i already know that it will have no season 2 EVEN if show clearly ends with sort of cliffhanger ?

Picked from the library since they didn't have what I was looking for i heard its manga classic? but i have 0 idea about plot other that its about a guy with... well death note

I have read 20 books in 2024 and those were the most enjoyable for me. The raven cycle and the starless sea hit me right into my heart and im so happy that i finally picked them after years of thinking!

Feeling sick today, so i can't even finish last 100 pages of an excellent book