Dress, 1900

Sir Terry Pratchett is a master of the written word but he ain’t shit for the way he trained me to accept dumb naming conventions because i got three missed calls on my phone from Scam Likely and I spent like half a day wondering who I knew named Scam. 

The thing about parrots is that they will fuck with you for fun. On the outside a parrot is a small flying dinosaur with bolt cutters on its face. On the inside a parrot is a toddler with a GED who you might have unwisely trapped in your house. Humans are usually the most entertaining thing in a parrot's environment (aside from other parrots).

My parrot knows all the words for his favorite foods: peanut, berry, carrot, and noodle are the most frequently requested. I often demonstrate how good he is at naming foods when I have guests over by saying, "Ripley, what is this?" And Ripley, seeing a roasted, unsalted peanut in my hand, will answer, "a peanut." He does this for many foods, multiple times a day, knowing that if he answers correctly I'll give him several of whatever he can name.

I also offer my houseguests a chance to participate, holding a treat about a foot away from Ripley and asking him what it is. Ripley is always very gentle when treats are involved. But for the past few months, when someone he doesn't know attempts this trick with him, he deliberately gets the answer wrong.

"What is this?" my friend asks Ripley as she holds out a peanut. He confidently answers, "a berry." We laugh. "No, what is it!" she tries again. "A berry." She laughs.

I hand her dried cranberry. "What's this?" she asks, holding it up. Without hesitation Ripley answers "a peanut." She holds up the peanut again. "What is it!!" "A berry," he answers. Both my friend and my parrot laugh. Apparently this joke is worth more to my bird than getting the treat.

Dress

c. 1807-1810

DAR Museum

1929 c. Beaded silk dress by New York City designer Sadie Nemser. From Awesome Attic, FB.

Part 3: Combining shapes, braids, and textures! And utilizing parts and fros!

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I’m doing some research on Japanese ratsnakes because I’d love to get one someday, but you might get a few questions about them.

So when it comes to keeping snakes in plastic tubs, how should they be secured? Are normal ones that snap into place okay or do they need to be the ones with like handles that keep it shut?

With relativity to humidity, how difficult is it to keep 50% humidity in a glass enclosure?

Is it possible to use a ceramic heat lamp for a plastic enclosure or will it melt it? And how do you keep things like heat mats in there since they have chords that stick out?

Can you make hides out of plastic containers? And if so, should the containers be blacked out/not able to let light through?

How deep can a water dish be? One site said that Japanese ratsnakes like to swim so you can provide a bigger water bowl for them?

One site says “[in the enclosure, keep] Something rough, such as a rock. Rat snakes like to nudge against a rough surface to help them shed their skin.” Agree? Will a rough surface hurt the snake? Also any word on basking areas such as slate rocks?

Very cool, Japanese ratsnakes are a great choice!

You'll need the ones with handles that snap shut. I also recommend getting some tank clips in the right size for additional security.

50% humidity is usually manageable in a glass enclosure, but personally I prefer tubs for anything over 50% because it's just worlds easier, especially when you need to raise it during shedding. Japanese ratsnakes do best with humidity in the 50-60% range.

You can cut a hole in the lid and cover it with mesh to use a ceramic heat emitter safely with a plastic tub. For Japanese rats, though, they do best with a hotspot of 85 Fahrenheit and an ambient in the low 70s, so a heat mat is my preferred choice to keep them cool because they don't raise the ambient temp much. You'll want to keep the heat mat under the tub (NEVER put it inside) and regulate it with a thermostat with a probe inside the enclosure.

You sure can! I prefer black ones to help the snake feel hidden and secure.

Water dishes can be as deep as you like and can provide! Just be aware that your snake will likely defecate in the dish at some point, so don't put anything in that will be too difficult to clean.

A rough surface is standard for every snake to help them shed. You can provide a slate tile for basking, but if you're using a heat mat, the snake is unlikely to use it. I do recommend plenty of climbing branches, though - ratsnakes will definitely use those!

I studied this in class for about 4 months, the idea is for it to be perceived differently at different tides. At certain points in the day you can walk all the way through it! If you like it you might also enjoy the (slightly more anatomically correct) snake he did for his "Empires" piece as part of the Monumenta series in Paris https://francetravelplanner.com/go/paris/museums/monumenta.html

150 meter aluminum sea serpent skeleton sculpture in Nantes, France. Artist Huang Yong Ping

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Janelle Monae at Met Gala 2025, in custom Thom Browne

Janelle Monae at the Afterparty