Latest Posts by scvorchous - Page 2
jian yi: someone's trying to kill me, it could be anyone!
zhan zheng xi, concerned: do you have any suspects?
jian yi: no, it could be anyone!
zhan zheng xi: i mean not necessarily, it’d just have to be someone you pissed off.
mo guan shan & he tian: no, no, jian is right, it could be anyone.
he cheng: do you like my brother?
mo guan shan: no.
he cheng: his personality?
mo guan shan: i hate it.
he cheng: then why are you with him?
mo guan shan: i love him. can't do anything with that, unfortunately.
he cheng: same, bro... same...
he tian: what the hell are you doing there?
mo guan shan, standing on the table: it's my place too! i can stand where i want!
he tian, sighing: where's the spider?
mo guan shan: ...near the fridge.
he tian: when i die my tombstone won’t say “RIP” it’ll say “VIP”.
mo guan shan: that’s because they reserved a special place in hell for you.
he tian: yeah, the throne.
he tian: how do i politely tell someone i want to fucking hit their face with a brick several times?
he cheng: one wishes to aquaint your facial structure with a rigidly edge object fundamentally used in the construction of walls repeatedly.
he tian: that was poetry!~
mo guan shan: that was a cry for therapy from both of you-
mo guan shan: why do you have to be so tall?
he tian: would you like me on my knees?
mo guan shan: the fuck??
he tian: you want to fuck?
he tian: do you want to play 20 questions?
mo guan shan: no.
he tian: interesting question! my favourite colour is orange. do you like men?
like father like son
i still hope that one day there'll be a 19 days podfic
I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship
he tian: we should play spin the bottle! i’ll go first. oh, it’s little mo!
zhan zheng xi: …you didn’t even spin the bottle.
he tian, shrugging: well, rules are rules! *kisses mo*
19 Days Summary: Chapter 1-397
I've been keeping a running summary for myself (I've been reading this for years!), but I think it's probably useful for anyone who's wondering, "What chapter is it where..." So here it is!
Colors only show chapters that make up a day: a series of green entries, for example, shows a single day, and then there's a change of color for the next day. Flash forwards (adult-ish scenes) are in white.
If you look at this drawing a little closer, you will notice that all the dogs are on the same leash.
The Dalmatian holds it in his teeth and, as it were, restrains himself and everyone else. In addition, the Dalmatian has a calm and intelligent look in his eyes — very similar to Zhan Zheng Xi.
The little dog (possibly a chihuahua) looks excited and cheerful, and its fur colour is light, so I think it's Jian Yi.
The Doberman (black dog) is Tian, and the Shiba inu (red dog) next to him is Guanshan for obvious reasons. Plus, the Doberman looks at Guanshan, and the Shiba Inu looks at Tian!!! Old, you're a genius.
i was rereading 19 days for the hundredth time and noticed something...
we saw redhead's smile.
the evil one but anyway!
So this might be kind of random but I was just thinking about the duality of Guanshan's character and about the differences between how he usually presents himself and how he really is on the inside. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who perceives it that way or not but well, you know how most of the time we see Guanshan as this smoll, angry beast and ball of fluff, who doesn't allow anyone to get too close to him. I'm fairly convinced that this is just a mask or a persona he was forced to create just so he could survive the constant bullying and protect himself from those who're trying to break him and bring him down. For some people who tend to isolate themselves, one of the reasons leading to that kind of behaviour is the fact that at some point they begin to wallow in self-hatered, because they feel like they don't belong in any social group and everyone else around hates them anyway. And that's exactly how people made him feel - like there's no point in trying because he will never be worthy of anyone's attention nor will he become the object of admiration.
(Also I'm listening to "Adam's Song" by Blink-182 while I'm typing this and I'm starting to get emotional, send help)
He knows that if he'll be any other way, he's only going to get hurt more, convinced that no one will ever care to help nor take pity on someone like him. Not that he even wants them to but the thing is, that it's not always easy having the whole world turned against you, looking down as if you had nothing going for yourself. All he ever wanted was some peace - not kindness, not charity - just people minding their business and leaving him to his own. And maybe the bare minimum of fucking human decency. Too bad they weren't willing to give it to him.
And that brings us to the other side of his personality that is currently buried 6 feet underground, hidden completely from the world, stuffed far back on the shelves. I believe that beneath that rough, angry and aggressive persona he puts on, Guanshan is a very gentle and calm soul. He never wanted to be this punkish kid who had to prove he isn't a weak and pathetic crybaby each step of the way. And if people wanted to see a son of a criminal and a freak in him, he'd rather be that way to keep people at the distance. It's better to be feared instead of staying an easy target. Even if it's at the cost of losing touch with your inner self.
If none of the bullshit and bullying happened to him, he would be a genuinely kind and helpful kid who isn't afraid of taking the intiative. Maybe if people didn't put him in a certain box from a young age he wouldn't lose the will and the courage to aim higher and believe in things he could be capable of achieving. Maybe he wouldn't have given up on dreaming. Of course, he still would be a very introverted and private person, enjoying his own company the most, but he wouldn't be haunted by this constant sense of dread, telling him that if he doesn't put up the walls to protect himself, someone's going to hurt him one way or another. For example, if we think about Guanshan as a kid, he was an absolutely sweet and gentle child. He wasn't angry nor was he spiteful. On the contrary - he seemed to be much more mature than other kids and tried to solve issues with them peacefully. He was brave enough to stand up to She Li when others took part in bullying, playing into the fantasy of some kindergarden childlish mafia. Guanshan - even though he gets easily impressed by "cool" and "manly" stuff - can as easily differ right from wrong and what kind of behaviour is truly respect-worthy. The way he approached the situation with She Li and Buzzcut was done in the most mature way possible for an elementary/middle school kid, without him trying to prove that he was the cooler, the stronger or the wittier one. He also didn't care that he might end up getting hurt, considering She Li's not so stable behaviour. To him, the safety of his friend and the urge to speak up his mind was more important. Unfortunately, too many times he's been proven that speaking up his mind didn't do him any good. It always ended up with people beating him up or belittling him, whether those were the kids, the teachers or other irresponsible adults.
That's why I believe that all this anger and frustration is an armor he was forced to wear because no one ever tried to see past the flaws that weren't even his own. Flaws that were nothing but a projection of pejudiced adults. Even though he grew up with a loving mother, that kind of an unconditional love - although beautiful - can be easily overlooked and discounted when everyone else seems to think you're unlovable and unworthy of such love. And that kind of treatment makes it even harder to learn and understand the importance of loving yourself.
Now, what impresses me the most is the fact that we can finally see that Mo is slowly beginning to act like his younger self around He Tian. He's calm, he doesn't get angry as much as before, because he doesn't feel the need to protect himself around He Tian anymore. He's feeling safe enough to let that armor/persona/mask or whatever you call it lower down and reveal parts of him that he's been keeping hidden from others for so long. He still feels uncertain, not sure how to navigate this strange and unexpected direction they've taken but he wants to do better regardless - both for He Tian and for himself - which to me, ironically - is to learn how to accept and love your inner, vulnerable self. The one that others made you feel like you should be ashamed of and pretend it doesn't exist. All it took was He Tian lightning up a spark within him and making him feel like there was something going for him after all. Like he might be worth the time and the attention and suddenly Guanshan wants to prove to He Tian that he is. He's willing to change for the better, not only because he's seen He Tian trying as well but he's began to realise that he cares for the other boy and he isn't willing to just let go of him. He came to realise that he doesn't want their ways to part one day just because he lacked the courage to change. To be removed from He Tian's orbit because he wasn't good enough. Because he's chosen to play the part others told him to. Through the care, warmth, patience and understanding He Tian has offered to him, the spark that was once lit in Guanshan's heart was slowly begining to grow, forming into a beautiful and passionate flame. Similar to the one Guanshan has lit a long time ago in He Tian's own, hollow heart.
I like the idea of Guanshans's attitude shifting bit by bit, depending on how he feels around certain people because I get so excited just thinking about him and Tian discovering new sides of each other - sides they weren't expecting at all. When Guanshan finally trusts He Tian entirely, the other would begin to notice that most of the time Guanshan's a very chill, sweet and gentle soul, even if he can't express his feelings and affection very well. He prefers to avoid unessesary conflicts and tries to talk things through, instead of attacking the other or sulking over his bruised ego. Sometimes Guanshan would feel guilty after his arguments with He Tian, no matter who's at fault and would be a lot more affected by them than he'd let it show. He would hate being cross with the person he cares about the most and his affection for the other would often end up being bigger than his ego. He Tian would also be in awe at how adorable Guanshan could become at times when there was no one else around to judge him. Maybe there would even be a whole new playful side to Guanshan, where he allows himself to let loose and joke around a little, like that one time when he smirked at He Tian who confessed he's afraid of the dark and He Tian was like "STFU or I'm gonna punch your teeth out".
Anyway, that's something I've been noticing for some time already and I just wanted to put it out there because I find it absolutely beautiful to see how Guanshan is finally starting to feel comfortable and safe enough to let those more vulnerable parts of him show. He's slowly realising that there are people who wants him for who he truly is and won't judge him based on his family name, baseless rumors or old wounds without giving him a proper chance to prove himself first ❤
NOOOOO, not the paper!!! he won't be able to show he tian his result now😿
i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss soon pls i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss i want tianshan to kiss
they don't have enough money for pants in size, it's so sad :( two poor little meow meows
jian yi: my hands are cold.
zhan zheng xi, holding jian yi's hands in his and rubbing them together: feeling better?
jian yi: ...my lips are cold too.
zhan zheng xi, rubbing jian yi's lips with his hand: is that better?
jian yi, almost crying: yeah...
mo guan shan: i hate seeing you like this.
he tian: like what?
mo guan shan: in person.
zhan zheng xi: we should appreciate the little things in life.
he tian: *hugs mo guan shan* my little mo
mo guan shan: FUCK OFF!
jian yi, admiring zheng xi from a distance: he could end my life anytime and i'd thank him.
he tian and mo guan shan: we'd thank him too.
*while he tian's teaching mo self-defence*
mo guan shan: i win.
he tian: i have you pinned to the ground.
mo guan shan: exactly.
mo guan shan: so, what's for dinner?
he tian, staring at the food he just burnt: regret.
*he tian and mo guan shan are talking to each other*
jian yi: i hate to admit this out-loud, but they're really cute together.
zhan zheng xi: yes, they are.
jian yi: i'd put them in a boat.
zhan zheng xi: …you mean you ship them?
jian yi: yeah…