The Speculative Answers To This Are Enough To Fuel A Whole Series Of Little Oneshots On AO3. Just Gonna

“Just one more chapter, it’ll be quick” I said.

Little did I know,

It was not, in fact, just one

Nor was it, in fact, quick.

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP HOLY SHIT WOW OKAY, THANKS TUMBLR, LOVE Y'ALL TOO

i am going to throw myself out of a window

Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

Y'all, why is Pinterest the gateway app? It's either Twitter or Tumblr if you start on Pinterest. Eventually the Pinterest user goes, "welp. guess I should probably at least check out the source of all this stolen shit." And then they get sucked in and install whichever app they think is more worth their time. Everyone who ends up here has at least interacted with Pinterest, right? How many of us came from Pinterest because it started giving you stolen Tumblr posts?

if you abandon gender hard enough you can unlock the secret state of nirvana where all clothes give you the thrill of crossdressing

I love cats in happy loving relationships

Crying over these lesbian cats

#yup

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

all these polls.. deciding the #1 sexyman.. the #1 Tumblr woman... the bug who wins the race... but have you ever wondered... what's the #1 Tumblr ship?

in this 6 week competition, we're going to pit the best against the best, starting with week 1! place your bets and don't delay!

each voting time will span a week each, starting on Sunday, February 5th!

winners will be drawn by me, having a dinner date at olive garden.

(please reblog this, spread the word about this competition! i want everyone to have a fun time!)

All participating ships below the cut:

Achilles x Patroclus vs. Nico Di Angelo x Will Solace

Tara x Darcy vs. Adrien x Marinette

Fred x Daphne vs. My Little Pony Polycule

Snufkin x Moomintroll vs. Will Graham x Hannibal Lecter

Vi x Caitlyn vs. Uhura x Chapel

Goncharov x Andrey vs. Venom x Eddie Brock

Deku x Uraraka vs. Klavier Gavin x Apollo Justice

Nick Nelson x Charlie Spring vs. Langa x Reki.

Firestar x Sandstorm vs. Reigen Arataka x Serizawa Katsuya

Princess Bubblegum x Marceline vs. Bowser x Luigi.

Spock x Kirk vs. Merlin x Arthur

Prince Sideon x Link vs. Aziraphel x Crowley

Todoroki x Deku vs. Steve x Bucky.

Tony the Tiger x The Grinch vs. Eda x Raine.

Edward Teach x Stede Bonnet vs. Ruby x Sapphire

Karkat x Dave vs. Catra x Adora.

Luz x Amity vs. Percy x Annabeth.

Miles Edgeworth x Phoenix Wright vs. Poison Ivy x Harley Quinn.

Rouis x Legoshi vs. Miles Morales x Gwen Stacy

Katya x Sophia vs. Viktor x Jayce.

Rey x Kylo Ren vs. The Onceler x The Onceler.

Susie x Noelle vs. Franziska Von Karma x Maya Fey.

Undyne x Alphys vs. Tao x Elle.

Dean x Castiel vs. Hunter x Willow

Alex Fierro x Magnus Chase vs. Sans Undertale x Y/n.

Velma x Daphne vs. Ritsu x Shou.

Cecil x Carlos vs. Zagreus x Thanatos

Bakugo x Kirishima vs. Ava Silva x Sister Beatrice

Korra x Asami vs. Deku x Bakugo.

Viktor Nikiforov x Yuuri Katsuki vs. Mob x Teru.

Mabel Pines x Pacifica Northwest vs. Fred x Shaggy.

Sherlock Holmes x John Watson vs. Sans Undertale x Reigen Arataka

patronising little fuck

How did Ballister and Ambrosius get together in the movie, in your eyes?