Latest Posts by sirdraken - Page 2

the conundrum never ends

(the painting is official gaspard and lisa art from their japanese twitter)

the conundrum never ends

(the painting is official gaspard and lisa art from their japanese twitter)

It must have been impossible to insult Kafka. Like, imagine that you call him an insufferable asshole and he just agrees with you. And then he would write in his diary about it.

February 15th I know I am the most insufferable of humans. Horrible. No sleep. Awful.

This tremendous world I have inside of me. How to free myself, and this world, without tearing myself to pieces. And rather tear myself to a thousand pieces than be buried with this world within me.

Franz Kafka, Diaries, 1910-1923

“What thing worthy of love can be found in me?”

– Franz Kafka, from Letters To Milena

"Was he your soulmate?"

She stared at me for a while, then smiled.

"That's just a word." She laughs.

"I think we loved each other with the kind of love that lasts lifetimes. But I loved many people with different kinds of love that would last lifetimes. We had our time and we lived a beautiful life. Is that enough to become a soulmate? I don't know.

"I guess that's it. You love someone in the moment, and you make more of them and then you hope those moments will last forever, knowing that they won't. So you gather those moments in your memory, hold them close and cherish them and make new ones."

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

(source)

"I think that's what soulmates are, moments of your life that you want to keep forever."

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

(source)

it's strange. i felt less lonely when i didn't know you.

- Jean-Paul Sartre, The Flies

literally all I do is daydream about impossible scenarios

I love daydreaming and not having to participate in life

if i was sisyphus id eat a bit of dirt off the slope every time on my way up until the slope is no longer steep enough for the boulder to roll down. it would be end of suffering in 47 days

I'm not easy to love!!

life really is just like. you meet people you love them and then you lose them and you never see them again. and it's inevitable and it happens to everyone and there's nothing you can do about it

Honestly it’s so hard to be the coolest friend who understands everything and calms everyone down

― David Foster Wallace, Consider the Lobster and Other Essays

I can’t live without her (…) I couldn’t live with her either.

Franz Kafka, from The Diaries of Franz Kafka 1910-1923; “February 14, 1914”

— franz kafka, the diaries of franz kafka

i have to stop going there (the alternate world in my head)

I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.

My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay pot, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the colour you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.

But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.

I was a gifted child once. I was the golden girl. And one day, I burned out.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

Look at Her ♡

“Maybe I live inside myself too much and maybe that is my greatest downfall.”

— Megan Grant, Solitude & the Sea

yes, love is work. but love must be two-sided. we are raised to give ourselves until we are drained. if they do not reciprocate, it isn’t love. love isn’t pouring gasoline down the drain in the hope the sparks you felt might light a fire that keeps you warm. love is coming in out of the cold, knowing they’ll already have made you a cup of cocoa.

June 25th. I sent another message just to unsend it 2 seconds later. My best friend asked me how I was today and I said 'I'm fine', what word can I use to define what I feel? What language burns in melancholy and drowns in loneliness only to go sleep with grief?

It's not so dramatic really. But it is.

everyone is getting into relationships and growing up and I’m just getting lazier and finding more tv series to watch

i don’t need to put my mental disorders in my bio you can easily infer that there’s something wrong with me

casually losing my mind over the intimacy of good morning text messages

I say I'm okay and I am okay.. but some evenings I barely move from the chair and some mornings I skip breakfast and don't open your texts. I say I'm okay and I am okay but some nights my hands shake when I think of getting up the next morning.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from Elle took a knife and carved her thighs