Yeah 😭 Reminds Me I Need To Get The Fuck Off Of Tumblr And SLEEP

HOW DID YOU KNOW!? HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE!? YOU HAVEN'T ANY LEGS!??? HOW DID YOU GET HERE!???

I love women!!!!!! also you love women too!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna say it!!

I LOVE SHOWERS

you're telling me I get to stay in a room all by myself. I get to DECIDE THE TEMPERATURE, I get to feel clean and refreshed, I CAN EVEN SHOWER WITH THE LIGHTS OFF for a delightful sensory experience. I can't be the only shower enjoyer the activity as a whole is just so incredible

YALL IT'S FINALLY SPRING AGAIN I AM EXCITED TO TRY AND GET OVER MY FEAR THIS YEAR

YALL I'M SO PROUD IM GETTING OVER MY FEAR OF BEES :D

LIKE TODAY I GOT NEARISH TO BEES WITHOUT BEING SCARED OF THE BUZZING

LIKE I DID BACK AWAY A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT I DIDNT PROPERLY RUN AWAY OR SCREAM OR ANYTHING

AAND YESTERDAY I TOOK SO MANY PICTURES AND VIDEOS OF THEM (with earphones on but I'm still super happy)

NOW I JUST GOTTA TRAIN MYSELF TO DEAL WITH THE BUZZING PROPERLY

Ah yes, another day of trying to figure out if I'm asexual or if I'm just traumatised

The day you can stop putting /p/(platonically) after saying "I love you" to you friends is when you know you've truly bonded

YALL I'M SO PROUD IM GETTING OVER MY FEAR OF BEES :D

LIKE TODAY I GOT NEARISH TO BEES WITHOUT BEING SCARED OF THE BUZZING

LIKE I DID BACK AWAY A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT I DIDNT PROPERLY RUN AWAY OR SCREAM OR ANYTHING

AAND YESTERDAY I TOOK SO MANY PICTURES AND VIDEOS OF THEM (with earphones on but I'm still super happy)

NOW I JUST GOTTA TRAIN MYSELF TO DEAL WITH THE BUZZING PROPERLY

"I OBJECT! YOU CAN'T MARRY THIS MAN, BECAUSE I-" She cuts herself off as she opens her eyes. She freezes. Holy fuck it's the wrong church.

"I... Oh my gosh, I am so sorry." she stutters, quietly, slowly backing towards the now open doors. The people in the pews, some sobbing, some crying softly, now stare at her awkwardly, tearing running down their cheeks, tissues in hands.

Before she can get a single foot out the door, a weak banging from the small casket resting on the raised platform near the sanctuary. All eyes fall towards it. The paled officiant almost falls over at the noise.

...After a long pause, he cautiously inches his way towards the coffin. The banging sounds again. "help.." a tiny, muffled voice comes from inside. The officiant undoes the latch pin, shakily lifting up the lid. A putrid stench wafts out, filling the room. But no one was paying attention to the smell at that point...

Suddenly, a decomposed, vaguely moist hand grips onto the edge of the casket. It pulls the rest of its body up, its face almost skeletal. Its cheekbones are very defined, the skin on its, well, everything, close to gone. The eyes, unaccompanied by any eyelids or lashes, are suken in, the iris greyed and hazy. It turns its head towards a woman in one of the front pews.

"Mumma...?" it croaks, weakly.

Screams of terror, gagging and upset sobs at the sight leave Carrie just stood at the door in shock. "What the fuck is going on?" she thinks to herself. She doesn't know whether to go find the correct church she's meant to be at or figure out what the actual hell just happened.

"I'm so so sorry for intruding... I have to go." she says, timidly, barely even audible over the cries of devastation and confusion.

"No, wait." someone in the pews, barely composing themself, speaks up. "What did you just do..? He was gone, for a while, and now he's alive? How did you-"

"I have no clue... Uh..." she says, cutting the person off before she gets more questions, "Sorry for your loss... And whatever just happened.. But I need to go. I'm so so sorry!" she quickly runs out before anyone can stop her.

"STOP, I OBJECT!" She keeps her eyes open this time.

You rush into a church to stop the love of your life from marrying the wrong person. Not paying attention you barge in yelling "I OBJECT" only to realize it's a funeral. The deceased immediately rises in perfect health. All eyes turn to you.

HOLY SHIT

Excuse me Neptune is a CANDLESTICK

(I'm literally just scrolling through the asexual tag, I have only seen one bot, I think we won)