Plot Bunny - Battle Of The Bastards 0.5

Amazing how everyone on Team Green is supposed to just “get over” the absolutely horrendous things Team Black does to them, but Team Black is fully justified in everything they do.

Criston Cole is still upset that Rhaenyra coerced him into sex even after he said no? (Otherwise known as, raping him.) He should just get over it, she’s a strong and powerful woman who is allowed to say no even after she denied him that same choice. Why should she give up the things she values just because she forced him to give ip something he valued?

Aemond is angry that Lucerys bullied him, attacked him 4v1, and cut out his eye, leaving Aemond permanently disabled and likely with chronic pain? Who cares! Lucerys was only a child, and he faced… Well, okay, he didn’t face even a hint of a consequence, but still! His mom is Rhaenyra, so he can do what he wants just like she can! And he was totally justified in everything he did to Aemond because… Aemond… spoke a truth that was obvious to anyone with eyes and a lick of common sense, then later claimed a dragon that was now unclaimed?

If they should just get over these horrific and traumatizing events, shouldn’t Team Black be able to get over things too? Lucerys died on a mission he never should have been sent on in the first place? Whatever, Rhaenyra has other children, just grow a better bond with one of them! Aemond had a spare eye, Rhaenyra has spare sons, that’s how it works, right?

I don't know if I'll find any supporters, but this has been driving me crazy for three years now, and I have to say it.

The scene from season one with Luke and Rhaenyra where Luke expresses his insecurities as the heir to Driftmark is bullshit, and a litmus test for what's wrong with this show.

It all starts out relatively normal, with Luke again expressing his insecurities as the heir of Driftmark and offering to give the position to someone else, and this personally pisses me off because Luke could have said this at any time, there was a whole trial about it, but it's ok, at least kid gets some kind of personality, cool.

And then fucking Rhaenyra goes on about how she realized that ruling takes work, and she had a duty and must earn her inheritance. Like she's ever done anything unselfish in her life, really.

And then that line. No, not like that. THAT FUCKING LINE. Luke, breathlessly muttering, "I'm not like you. Not so perfect."

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HATE THIS SHIT SO MUCH

That sounds just as fake and useless as half of TB's lines extolling Rhaenyra's greatness, because God forbid we forget for a second that that woman is about to be canonized by Twitter any day now. TB's characters are underdeveloped, they feel fake and hollow, designed to kiss the ass of the one woman the audience is allowed to love, because if you like anyone else, you're obviously sexist and deserve to be publicly humiliated.

Luke is already an unpleasant little shit, he hasn't shown a single redeeming quality. He's selfish, arrogant, spoiled, and privileged even among royalty. And you take away his two miserable minutes of screen time to praise Rhaenyra again, and remind us that it turns out she actually sacrificed and worked for something in her life, and didn't just expect things to go her way because she's daddy's special girl. And she's perfect. Perfest, perfect, perfect. Love her right now, or you will be canceled on every social media.

Those two minutes should have gone to Luke and Rhaena. That's his fiancée, for God's sake! Those two haven't said a single damn thing to each other! Instead of whining about Driftmark again, let Luke comfort Rhaena when she expresses her concerns about the upcoming marriage - at least then I'll know he cares about his betrothed!

But no, that would be too complicated. Instead, we have someone praising Rhaenyra again, because what if not everyone realized that she's *gasping* perfect.

I bring to you a wee comic for the yokai AU i cooked up a bit ago~~

I also did this for the August event on the Nart Art server! Following the arranged marriage/enemies to lovers prompt, if my shitty dialogue isnt enough to get that across lmao

This is not just another whining, I say, you know, like a liar

This isn't really a new essay where I hysterically ask what's going on in the writers' heads, but a legitimate question.

Why was Joffrey Velaryon never considered for the role of heir to Driftmark in the show?

I even googled the answer, and there were many interpretations, the most popular being that after Rhaenys's death, Corlys's relationship with Rhaenyra deteriorated so much that he refused to support her farce, and demanded that true Velaryon's blood be on the throne of Driftmark (with Lucerys there would have been no such problem, his bride was Rhaena, but Joffrey was betrothed to Manderly girl), and Rhaenyra couldn't refuse him, considering that he was her strongest ally at the time.

But this is a book, you know, a thing with letters on paper, written by a person who tried to at least make ends meet a little, even in the format of a medieval historical chronicle.

But in the show, Corlys from Season 2 is the same tasteless cardboard cutout as the rest. He barely mourns the death of his wife, and rushes around with his inheritance like it's a hot potato, not knowing who to throw it to.

And for a man whose character traits were declared to be ambition, loyalty to his House and heritage, a desire to put his blood on the Iron Throne - Corlys seems to not try at all. There was a lazy attempt to marry Laena to the rotten Vizzy, then Rhaenyra's marriage to Laenor, but after that, nothing.

In canon, the marriage of the twins and Rhaenyra's children was arranged in infancy, so Corlys quickly received assurance that his legacy would continue. In the show? No one gives a shit, if Rhaenyra hadn't begged Rhaenys for support during the disputes over the Velaryon inheritance with Vaemond, no one would have thought about the marriage of these four.

With that attitude, where history doesn't remember blood, only names, the Corlys of the show would have shrugged and said "oh well" to Joffrey being named heir to Driftmark.

But instead he tries to hand the inheritance over to Baela first, who decides it's the perfect moment to gaslight gatekeep girlboss, and refuses the title of heir to the richest House at the time (why? It wouldn't have affected the engagement to Jace, Laenor was Corlys's heir AND the future King Regent, she could have a couple of children, and named the second one as Velaryon heir).

Why did everyone forget about Joffrey? Why should I care about him if the show doesn't? I'll be sad to see him die, because children's deaths are always sad, but otherwise - I don't give a shit.

PS. All grammatical errors are intentional, I refuse to correct my gaps in English

My perhaps controversial take on the HOTD characters, the GOT characters the writers are trying to mold them into, and the GOT characters they actually most resemble in the books (in my opinion - feel free to disagree).

Disclaimer: these are entirely disconnected series with unique characters, so it's impossible to do what the writers of HOTD seemed to be trying to do in season 1 i.e. mold the characters from Fire and Blood to fit the characters of GOT to try to recreate the success of the early seasons. Given this, I tried to choose one single character analogue from GOT that each HOTD/FB character is most like, but oftentimes the reality is that if any single character from Fire and Blood resembles a Game of Thrones character it is likely that they are a combination of more than one. All of this said, here is who I think the writers are trying to fit certain HOTD characters into vs the character they are actually most like (according to Fire and Blood):

Rhaenyra Targaryen: obviously the show wants her to be the new and improved Daenerys, a protagonist everyone can root for who wants to revolutionize the existing order. In reality, Rhaenyra is most like Cersei: a woman who seeks to use her three bastards to usurp thrones and gain even more power than she already has, all while committing incest with a family member and using her power to punish and silence her enemies. She uses the existing system to raise herself up and keep others below her. She does reach her goal of ultimate power but ultimately she is unable to hold it. In pursuit of holding onto power or gaining more of it, she watches as her children die early deaths. The smallfolk despise her for her methods of ruling. Eventually, she will cause her own downfall and die before her time.

Alicent Hightower: the show wants her to be Cersei, a mean-spirited, jealous woman protecting her problematic children and using her status as queen to put others in their place (they even used Cersei scenes as audition material for the role). In reality, I see Alicent as most like Catelyn - a flawed woman, mother to a king, seeking to further the rights of her son in the hopes of protecting her family from those who would harm them, guided by her own sense of justice, honor, and understanding of the laws of the land (and of course, hyper aware of the bastards in the room). All she wants is her and her children's safety, and she is willing to go to war for it. In the end, however, she watches as every last child is taken from her before she herself dies alone.

Viserys I Targaryen: the show wants us to see him as the ultimate father who loves his child unconditionally and always supports her, and that his view of right and wrong should be what guides the world. In reality, he is most like Robert Baratheon: a weak king unsuitable for rule whose mistakes and complacency lead to civil war after his death. His preoccupation with past events and people, and his role in a former love's demise, leads him to neglect his current wife and their children and make decisions that create long-term issues for his family and the realm.

Criston Cole: as soon as Criston turns away from Rhaenyra, the show wants you to view him as a Meryn Trant type of Kingsguard - a man unconcerned with honor and violently anti-women, more than willing to carry out terrible acts commanded of him. In reality, Criston is like more like Jaime: he seeks to make a name for himself as a knight, guided by his own sense of honor and justice, though he is judged by others as lacking such principles. His devotion to his position on the Kingsguard and his love for the royal family motivates him. Occasionally his self-confidence and delight in goading his enemies can make him appear callous and proud. Although he is not officially the royal children's "father," he has guided and protected them and their mother from early on in the absence of their official father.

Daemon Targaryen: the show wants you to both love and hate Daemon. It seems he should fill many roles that Jaime did - a sword fighter whose swagger and danger mix together, whose dishonorable acts follow him through the world. He acts primarily out of love or his pursuit of it, whether for his brother or his lover and her children. The viewer is supposed to see that deep down he is a good guy, no matter how many characters say that he's not. In reality, I see Daemon as a more capable Viserys III: a man adamant in his family's racial superiority, who believes he and his loved ones should have access to unchecked power because they're better than everyone else. A man who enjoys exercising his power over others and demanding obedience out of fear of his wrath. A man who uses his younger family member to further his own interests without much thought to her own wishes or agency and willing to hurt her if she doesn't act the way he wants her to.

Otto Hightower: the show wants you to view Otto as a new Littlefinger, someone sly about his intentions who uses spies, information, and unsavory methods to take advantage of the ruling family and further his own interests and increase his own power. I see him instead as more similar to Tywin: a Hand of the King seeking to put his family close to the throne in pursuit of legacy and advancing his family's station, a man who arranged for his daughter to marry the king so his blood would sit the Iron Throne and bring his family power for generations, a man acutely aware of the political world and how the game is played and willing to get his hands dirty to play it.

The Strong boys: the show wants you to root for Rhaenyra's perfect, good natured and pure intentioned sons as if they were the Stark boys (mixed with Jon Snow). Raised in a good family, these boys know right from wrong and love each other. Yet some people unfairly think less of them for their birth. In reality, the Strong boys are closest to Joffrey, Tommen, and Myrcella. Bastards set to inherit positions they have no claim to, they are coddled by their mother and protected from any consequences to their actions. When one attacks another child, their mother demands that the other child's family is punished for their actions (and doesn't even reprimand the child for his role in the conflict). The result is the child has no remorse for the harm done, and the other child's family festers resentment against the child. Some people uncover the truth of their birth and object to their place in the line of succession, and these people are killed for speaking the truth. Eventually, a war is fought to keep them and their mother away from the throne, resulting in all of them being killed.

Aegon II Targaryen: the show wants you to see him as Joffrey 2.0. A man interested in viewing sadistic acts for his own pleasure, who abuses women for his own enjoyment, and who is unfit to rule. In reality I see Aegon as closest to Robb: a first born son reluctant to rule as king once his father dies but who rises to the occasion to try to keep his remaining family safe. A king willing to fight his battles alongside his men, no matter the risk it might pose to him. A king who tries his best to rule but makes mistakes along the way that cost him dearly. In the end, he watches as he loses everything, and he dies young.

Sometimes I hate this show, and then I come to my senses and just despise it

I'm a feminist because I'm a woman and deserve all rights and opportunities. But this show, I swear to God, does everything it can to make me feel like a terrible person.

The show's adult Rhaenyra is just…ugh. There were a thousand ways to transfer her personality, actions, and decisions from page to screen, and the writers chose the worst possible one. Somehow, they managed to strip her of her personal qualities while simultaneously filling her to the brim with other people's accomplishments.

Young Rhaenyra was practically perfect, given the changes the writers made to the book plot. She was a young, capricious, selfish girl whose world collapsed in an instant, and she had to find her way on her own. She was unpleasant, nasty, mocking, charismatic, charming, sweet - and very real. Her actions could be condemned or supported, she was interesting to watch, and I loved her. Not everything Rhaenyra did was to my liking, but when she was on screen, I watched her without taking my eyes off.

Adult Rhaenyra is literally Frankenstein's monster, assembled from incomprehensible junk from the attic of Condall and Hess. She does not have a drop of the charm that young Rhaenyra had, as if they were written by completely different people. Every questionable action of hers is whitewashed, 90% of her decisions and achievements are recycled and reused plots of other characters from the books, any actions are extolled to the skies. It's like eating cold unsalted French fries, you feel punished for some unknown sins by tasteless crap.

I want to love Rhaenyra, I really tried the entire half of the first season and whole second to feel at least a little love for this homunculus, but it is simply impossible. Just when I'm starting to sympathize with Rhaenyra grieving so heartbreakingly for her son and wanting justice, and getting involved in show, the writers decide to indulge their nun fetish and have Rhaenyra dress up as a septa and go talk to Alicent about some useless bullshit. One minute she's not afraid to defend her opinion, the next she's playing Mother of Dragons 2.0 (Vermithor scene was indescribable cringe, as was posing with a goofy grin with three dragons while Aemond scampers away with his bloodthirsty granny). Here's Rhaenyra having a great dialogue scene with her son, and here she is kissing a SA victim who just shared her tragic backstory, but don't worry, it's very romantic and everyone is happy.

And it wouldn't be nearly as bad as it feels if Rhaenyra were like young Rhaenyra, whose flaws were real and not smoothed over by the constant reminder that this woman was the best thing to happen to the world since the invention of latte macchiato. Young Rhaenyra, if she were in the sept with Alicent, would have yelled at the woman, risked getting caught, and wouldn't have been shy about reminding Jace who was in charge and that he had no right to scold her. Would she have been right, or smart in her actions? Still no, but she wouldn't be hailed as fair, peaceful and perfect - she'd be a selfish, confused, grieving woman who'd lost so much and was desperately trying to figure out how to salvage what was left and take back what was taken.

The show does everything it can to make me despise Rhaenyra. She's selfish, self-righteous, smug, arrogant, delusional, self-important, dumb as a rock, spineless, one-dimensional cheap knockoff of Daenerys from the early seasons of Game of Thrones. And the worst part is that all of these qualities would be interesting if the show would just stop holding me by the balls and demanding that I must love and adore her for every little thing because Rhaenyra is always right, the best girl in the world, worthy of all praise, and perfect to the core. Let me decide for myself whether I want to like a character or not, because unlike some people, I have an IQ above room temperature and can empathize with a complex, ambiguous character with adult morals, not just Bloom from Winx in a white wig.

I constantly have to remind myself that it's okay to dislike a female character if she's written terribly, and that doesn't make me a bad person.

Ps. Still not native speaker and dgaf about mistakes, english can suck my imaginary dick; apparently somehow part of text was translate in my native language wtf

“Luke was just a baby defending his brother’s life.”

He was around 11 years old and in knight training, he absolutely knew better. Luke and 3 other kids ganged up to beat up 1 kid who Jace and Luke had a history of bullying. Aemond was being insensitive, yes (after having been bullied for years), but they started the physical violence. Luke was a “baby” who was happy to take part in beating up someone who was outnumbered and on the ground. It’s pure cherry-picking to pretend this interaction started with Aemond threatening Luke’s brother with a rock and Luke was a poor innocent baby “defending himself”, no, he was taking part in a gang assault which he was well old enough to know was wrong.

Yes, after getting knocked down and punched repeatedly by multiple people Aemond was threatening Luke’s brother with a rock but to say he was going to kill Jace and Luke “saved his brothers life” is a stretch. Aemond was keeping them back because they were the ones attacking him, he had plenty of time to hit if he wanted to but Aemond’s preferred method of attack is verbal. Luke was mad at what Aemond was saying and even if he felt Jace was in physical danger, Aemond was already temporarily blinded by the sand Luke threw first. Luke could’ve disarmed Aemond at that point which was what he was trained to do. He chose to go after Aemond’s face with a knife instead. Rhaenyra literally says after whispering with her sons that Luke was “defending himself from vile insults” meaning he himself admitted to his mom that he cut Aemond’s eye out because he called him a bastard not because “he was gonna kill his brother with a rock”.

But the thing is, no one thinks Luke should have his eye cut out or been killed. I don’t particularly like Rhaenyra’s kids because they have all the personality of cardboard and they’re hypocritical, spoiled little bullies. But unlike many bloodthirsty Team Black stans, I don’t cheer on harming children. An apology or an age-appropriate punishment would’ve mitigated the situation. That’s literally all anyone had to do, to care AT ALL about Alicent’s children EVER and they couldn’t. It was Rhaenyra’s insistence that her precious little baby boy couldn’t possibly ever do anything wrong (but Alicent is the “toxic boy mom”, yeah right…) and instead threatening to torture and further maim and disable the already freshly maimed and disabled child that pushed everyone over the edge. If Rhaenyra had a diplomatic bone in her body and could think about anything other than hiding her bad choices she made that endangers her children every day then she would’ve had the tact to apologize and find a resolution. If she had, not only would Aemond maybe have been able to forgive Luke and avoided all of this but the final nail on the coffin confirming to Alicent that Rhaenyra was a danger to her children would’ve been avoided and maybe that would’ve changed everything.

dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count

How did Alicent not create and further a hostile environment when she essentially forced Rhaenyra to present her baby immediately after childbirth, and acted with mocking concern that Rhaenyra walked all the way to her. Even while Alicent KNEW her mother died in childbirth. Alicent furthering rumors that her children are bastards, Alicent making Rhaenyra’s life hell and dangerous so much that she left to Dragonstone, Alicent leading to Harwin’s death. By your logic Cersei didn’t create any hostile environment either since they’re all just blameless women who don’t have power. Cersei couldn’t stop Joffrey from doing anything so Sansa has no right to hate her then

Alicent asked the baby be brought to her sometime after birth, and Rhaenyra chose to maliciously comply by carrying the baby herself, so people would see how bad Alicent was for making her go all that way when in reality Alicent just asked for a servant to bring the baby to her. Why did both of them do this? Well, it's clearly established that at this point there's been a decade of back and forth shot-taking at each other. The green dress moment, this incident, the contrasting opinions at the small council, the petty comments... all of this is indicative of the two of them trying to power play each other out because they didn't like each other. In this case, Alicent wanted to confirm for herself the third bastard, and Rhaenyra knew this and decided to accompany the baby despite Alicent not asking her to in order to shift the focus onto Alicent's request being unreasonable and away from the idea that she was requesting to see the baby so soon to confirm its parentage in the first place. It's them playing with perception of others here and trying to control the situation better than the other. Again, because there is a mutual dislike each other and there are competing interests between the two women.

None of the women in this story are wholly powerless, but there are women who have more or less power than others. Rhaenyra always had more power than Alicent, point blank. Rhaenyra is a Targaryen dragonrider, in the king's eyes his favorite and "only" child, and named heir to the throne. Alicent is the non-Valyrian dragonless daughter of a second son, and even though she became Viserys' second queen, clearly the king did not value her, setting her aside, laughing at her in public, calling her the wrong name in front of others, and he clearly did not care at all about their children together. The power level between the two is uneven, and it's crazy that people seem to think somehow Alicent is this all powerful villain who could have one-sided outright bullied a poor, powerless, helpless Rhaenyra. The power difference is clearly seen at Driftmark, when Rhaenyra gets the king to do everything she asks while Alicent begs him for any care about her son just to be ignored. All along Rhaenyra could wield her father's favoritism to benefit her, and she did, in that moment and again when Vaemond Velaryon came to court.

It's also important to acknowledge that the bastard "rumor" was not solely a Green creation that Alicent decided to make up with the purpose of making Rhaenyra look bad or something. As Aegon put it at Driftmark, everyone had eyes and could see that these white skinned brown haired boys clearly looked more similar to the white skinned brown haired man always at Rhaenyra's side than her husband, with his dark skin and white hair, who spent less time with Rhaenyra and the family than Harwin and more time with his squires. This plain fact is damaging and dangerous to Rhaenyra, but Rhaenyra is to blame for this. Her and Laenor tried maybe once before she immediately became pregnant with Jace by Harwin, according to the timeline, and as Margaery and actual history shows us it was definitely possible for queer men to have gotten a woman pregnant with the purpose of producing an heir. However, Rhaenyra was just interested in acting to their arrangement of dining as she pleased, and then proceeded to recklessly have not one but three clear pieces of evidence to her breaking her vow to her husband (which maybe is less scandalous to us, the modern viewer, but oath breaking is pretty serious in Westeros, especially for women). And before there's an argument of how she was forced to marry a gay man... Rhaenyra (and Daemon) did that. She left her marriage tour to pick her own match among hundreds of suitors early and then was seen in a brothel with Daemon, tarnishing her reputation and forcing her father to quickly marry her to a Velaryon (and of course Daemon brought her there with the purpose of sullying her reputation enough so Viserys would just let Daemon marry her). The funny thing here is that Harwin himself could have been a marriage candidate as the heir to Harrenhall and an active member at court, and he was certainly an option to consider! But she lost her chance. As heir to the throne and a Targaryen woman, there was no situation where she would not have needed to get married and make an heir, and Rhaenyra should have known this and considered her options while she had them. Then even when she was married to Laenor, there were ways around his queerness. Try to have a baby, or petition that he's infertile and the marriage should be absolved on that grounds so she can marry someone else. But Rhaenyra wanted to have her cake and eat it too; she wanted the Velaryons on her side to support her claim to the throne and a son of hers to one day inherit Driftmark, and she wanted to only have sex with Harwin and have his babies. Both were impossible at the same time if she wanted to avoid conflict.

Essentially, all of this put together, it was through her own choices that Rhaenyra had three obvious bastards that weakened her own claim and put herself in the middle of a political scandal. And even when Alicent talked about it at all, it was only with Viserys, Criston, and Larys in private (and she potentially told her children, likely to warn them of the further succession crisis this would cause when Rhaenyra or her sons try to come to power despite their weak claims and bastard status in this society that despises bastards). Obviously all of them already had eyes and knew the truth, and Criston had also already known the truth of what was going on because Rhaenyra explicitly had told him about the arrangement, and it was clear that Harwin was the one who filled that role for her. So when the third bastard is born, he goads Harwin into fighting him, exposing his role in the situation, and the attention on Harwin this causes results in Lionel Strong sending him back to Harrenhall. Then, Larys takes advantage of the situation to kill them both and become Lord of Harrenhall. He says he did it for Alicent, to get her father back, but realistically there's no reason to expect Viserys should have even asked Otto back as Hand after firing him (and he really shouldn't have, if he was trying to help Rhaenyra consolidate power). All of this considered, it's a pretty big step to say that Alicent is to blame for Harwin's death. I personally say it was Harwin's decision to be Rhaenyra's lover and father to her children that got him sent away from court, and then it was his own brother's decision to kill him for power.

Not exactly sure what your point is trying to bring up Cersei when the contexts are pretty different... like sure she was a lady married to a king who didn't love her and then she fought for her children's rights ruthlessly. But Cersei has a closer parallel in Rhaenyra, to be honest: a mother to three bastards who uses them to usurp thrones they have no real claim to and who ignores their misdeeds completely and/or weaponizes them against their victims. The obvious parallel here is Joffrey threatening and cutting the butcher's boy, getting attacked by Nymeria, and Cersei immediately pushing her own version of events that unquestionably paints her son as the ultimate victim and demanding the king take action against the others, and the Strong boys ambushing Aemond with a knife, beating on him four on one, cutting out his eye, and then Rhaenyra immediately pushing her own version of events that unquestionably paints her sons as the ultimate victims and demanding the king take action against the others. Cersei definitely did create hostile environments through her actions, as did Rhaenyra. Cersei could have tried to control Joffrey better, but she was unwilling to acknowledge his flaws or try to hold him accountable when he had done wrong. Almost like how Rhaenyra never talked to her boys about jumping a kid and cutting his eye out because she was unwilling to acknowledge their role in the situation or hold them accountable for their actions. Both mothers saw their children as largely flawless and were unwilling to confront them with their mistakes or misdeeds.