Did Any Of You Also Notice That Remus Steals A Glance At Sirius When He Says The Line “[…] He Almost

You know, that giddy feeling when something new or better is gonna happen, some change or something. I love that feel

Funeral by phoebe bridgers

if you see this post you’re legally obligated to reply to it with your current favorite song

“I learn a good deal by merely observing you, And letting you talk as long as you please, And taking note of what you do not say.” - T.S. Eliot

via @quotemadness

My boyfriend signed up for an Economics class last semester that had a professor who was described by other students on Rate My Professors as “a little offensive but still funny” and “you will still learn if you do the work and attend his workshops.” On the first day of class, he pointed to an Asian girl next to him.

“Are you Chinese?” he asked.

She looked bewildered and said, “Yes…?”

“How do you feel about the One Child Policy?”

The entire class went silent.

She glared at him, “I’m American.”

He shrugged it off, “Yeah, but you’re Chinese. So how do you feel about being the only child in your family?”

When I peruse through class lists, one of the very first things I want to know is whether or not I will be in a safe environment with a professor who cares about their students. Rate My Professors is the most commonly used tool for students to decide whether or not a professor is right for their learning style. It’s a tool for students created by students. But when such tools actively work against students who want to give proper warning about professors, what does that tell you? Does RMP care about student safety? Or is it doing everything in its power to protect corrupt educators? Should students compile a list of corrupt professors to combat RMP’s new policy if they don’t reverse this rule?

The Chinese woman and the rest of the students had to endure a semester filled with violent racist, sexist, and classist rhetoric (he later humiliated a student for 15 minutes for having an old Ford—what he described as a “loser car”) with a professor who only taught outside of class hours instead of during class hours. There are many more stories like this one because students pay for a class they weren’t expecting.

Because students can’t say “racist and sexist”, people have opted for “problematic” with examples as well as synonyms. You can contact them here to ask them to change their policy.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Wolfstar in a pizza parlor where they first meet.

“One deep dish pizza.”

Remus’ head jerked up from where it had rested, face down, on his folded elbows. There was a waiter standing over him in the dim light of the restaurant. He had thick, dark hair that curled around the antlers he was wearing, and a pin on his apron that read, May your days be cheesy and bright. Remus blinked up at him.

“What?”

The boy raised an eyebrow at him, “Your pizza.” When Remus still didn’t say anything he pushed it forward a little, “It’s a deep dish pizza.”

Remus looked down at the steaming meal, then back up at the boy. The name Sirius was embroidered over the cheesy pin. Remus thought it was a bit of an odd name. Maybe it was the name of the restaurant he was in, he couldn’t quite remember. Although, it was an odd name for a pizza restaurant too.

“I…Oh. I didn’t order a pizza.”

The boy—Sirius, possibly—cleared his throat, “Yeah. But you… you looked like you might, y’know,” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “need one.”

Remus shifted, “I look like I need a pizza?”

Sirius sighed, “You’re sitting her in a practically empty pizza place on Christmas Eve. It’s negative one degrees out and you walked in here with nothing but that sweater on and you’ve been sitting here with your head down for the past ten minutes.” Sirius shrugged, “Yeah, you need a pizza, in my opinion.”

Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times, “I…” Remus felt a flush start at his neck, “Thank you, but I can’t pay for it.” He pushed the menu away from him nervously. The top said Pizza Corner. So, Sirius was his name, “I don’t have any money—“

“Who said you had to—“

“I did.” Remus cut him off, looking back up at the boy, “I’m not taking free pizza from you.”

Sirius hesitated, hovering over the table. Remus wondered if he would shrug again and take the pizza back. Then he wondered if he would insist. He wasn’t sure which one he preferred. Then, Sirius let out a breath, took his antlers off, and slid into the booth opposite Remus. He picked up a slice of pizza, “Well, I’ll eat it then.”

Remus blinked, sitting up straighter, voice lost as Sirius started munching on the first slice. He nodded towards the pizza, “You can still have some, if you want.”

Remus looked at the pizza. Cheese was falling in strings onto the pan from the thick crust. The pepperoni looked spicy, the outer crust crunchy. His stomach growled painfully. He turned away.

Sirius produced two cans of ginger-ale from somewhere within his apron and slid on discreetly towards Remus, “What’s your name and why won’t you share my pizza?”

Remus scoffed, “You know why I won’t share your pizza.”

Sirius folded a second slice and took a bite, “But it’s sharing now!”

“Sirius—“

“Ah,” Sirius pointed his pizza at him, “You know my name, I should know yours.”

Remus pressed his lips together at his slip. He hadn’t mean to say it but…it was nice. It was a nice name, he decided. “Remus.”

“Remus.” Sirius nodded, like he was testing it out. Remus felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and goosebumps rise pleasantly. Then he pushed the tray towards him, “Remus, have a slice of pizza.”

“Jesus Christ.” Remus sighed and sat back in the booth.

Sirius just looked at him, eyes soft. Remus looked back for a moment, until he realized he’d started to admire rather than just look, and to wonder of Sirius was doing the same. He looked away.

“I don’t know what you think I’m trying to do, Remus.” Again, Remus fought the urge to shiver at Sirius’ voice, “I don’t know you, you don’t know me, I get it. But…” Sirius set his slice down on the tray and folded his arms on the table, “But, mate, I can see every notch in your spine through that sweater of yours and it isn’t the thickest thing in the world but it isn’t the thinnest either.” Sirius bit his lip, “Certainly not thick enough for weather like this.”

Remus looked down at his hands. They were red and raw from the wind. He hid them beneath his thighs and blinked hard.

“I don’t know your story,” Sirius’ voice was soft and calming, like he could sense Remus’ fight with himself, “but I recognize it. Just a little. I’ve lived it, maybe, or something like it and…” Sirius broke off, maybe regarding Remus or, maybe, maybe, admiring, “It’s just a pizza. It’s Christmas.”

Remus let out a shaky breathe, trying to calm his heart beat down. He felt frozen, and weak, and unbearably thankful. Who was he, to receive this? Slowly, without looking up, he reached forward and picked up a slice.

He heard Sirius let out a breath, “Okay. Good. Alright.”

Remus looked up as he took a bite and met Sirius’ eyes. He smiled, Instantly, Remus felt warmer. He told himself it was just the food entering his system for the first time in he wasn’t sure how long.

Sirius picked up his own slice and they ate in silence for a few minutes, Sirius cracking Remus’ ginger-ale open for him and sliding it the rest of the way across the table.

“So,” Sirius broke the silence when he reached his third slice, “Do you have a place to stay?”

Remus looked up, swallowed thickly, “Don’t push it. I’m eating your damn pizza.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, I’ve gotten this far, I damn well am gonna push it.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Yes. I do.”

Sirius just looked at him, chewing slowly.

Remus sighed, “No. I mean.” Remus took another bite, “Yeah, no. No.”

“Well, I do.”

“Good on you.” Remus grumbled.

“So.” Sirius pressed on, “So, you do too.”

“No. What? No—“

“Why?” Sirius waved his arm and a piece of pepperoni went flying to the floor by the opposite booth. He looked at it for a second before continuing, “I live, like, five minutes away, there’s more than enough room—“

“This isn’t about room. This is—“ Remus was going to say that it was about the fact that he didn’t know Sirius, but, he found that that wasn’t what was stopping him. “This is about the fact that I, I can’t give you anything in return.”

Sirius dropped his crust onto the tray, “Did I say I was looking for payment?”

They stared at each other. Remus felt a flush creep up his neck and bit into his lip. His eyes flickered down then back to Sirius’ face, “You don’t eat the crust.”

Surprise flickered in Sirius’ eyes but his face remained strong, “No. I don’t.”

Remus kept his glare in tack, “It’s the best part.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sirius stood, “As long as you keep in mind that it’s negative one degrees. Now,” Sirius untied his apron, and picked up his antlers, “I’m going to put these away. Then, I’m going to grab my coat, and go wait by the door. Okay?”

Remus looked stubbornly ahead of him, “You’ll be wasting your time.”

“Negative one degrees!” Sirius called over his shoulder.

And suddenly, Remus was alone again in the booth. He watched from the corner of his eyes as Sirius hung his apron up, making smalltalk with the chef. He seemed to be doing things in slow motion. He took his time folding his things, even straightening his stupid pin. Remus sat, rigid. His chest felt four times smaller than usual, filled with a strange mixture of guilt and want. This boy, Sirius, whoever he was, was warm. Remus closed his eyes. He was warm and kind. Remus had forgotten what warm and kind felt like, and now it was right in front of him. Right in front of him and about to walk out the door.

No, about to wait by the door.

Patient.

Warm, kind, and patient.

It made Remus want to cry, and smile, and let go, all at once.

Remus jumped, head whipping behind him as the bell above the door rang. He just caught a head of dark hair walking out into the darkness before the door closed and his own face was reflected back at him. He blinked at the expression on his face.

He looked terrified.

Remus turned around quickly, shrinking into the booth and breathing hard. Not so patient then. Not so kind, not so warm. God, he felt stupid. He was stupid. Pizza was one thing. Remus pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Sirius didn’t want him to stay. Sirius didn’t know him. Remus shook his head to himself. He was stupid. He was stupid.

The bell jingled again.

“Hey, sweater-boy.”

Remus looked up, spinning in his seat. His heart clenched.

Sirius was there, in the open doorway. His nose was pink from the cold and a hat was pulled low over his head. He wore a sweatshirt, and held what looked like a thick winter coat in his arms. Remus breathed out, shaking, relieved.

Sirius jerked his head towards the outside and grinned, “Coming? Car’s warmed up.”

Remus didn’t hesitate this time. He didn’t even think to. He got up, he smiled back, and he went.

Oh what I would give to sleep in your arms tonight

Squirrel looking for his NEXT NUT TO CRACK??!

The Annuls of Jimmy Novak, Volume II

By @afanofmanystuffs and @sparklingcas

Tags: Castiel x Reader, Jimmy Novak x Reader, Crack, afanofmanystuffs’ Christmas Special, technically dub-con if you squint, co-written by sparklingcas and afanofmanystuffs, highly NSFW

A/N: So, uh, I think Katie is gonna go ahead and get nagged into posting Volume I, which is something of a drabble she created on a too warm September day. As of 12-21-17, there is a plot for The Annuls of Castiel. No idea if/when it will be written and published. I kind of took off with this a few weeks ago.

I took the liberty of tagging Katie’s NSFW Everything tags. She wrote the first part of that, which is divided with ~. I wrote the rest, which has – as page dividers.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate- I hope everyone gets a laugh out of this.

~

Jimmy Novak was a devout Christian man and a good husband and father on the outside.

He went to church and work, a perfectly productive member of society. He played his part, put food on the table, and read his daughter bed time stories like any good man would.

But deep down, and behind closed doors, only he and his wife knew the truth.

Jimmy Novak was a fuckboi™.

He had a heart like ice and a cock of steel, and could get any woman in bed with a wiggle of his ears. Some might think it’s strange, but you’d have to see it to believe it.

It wasn’t until he made a woman come from pure cervical stimulation and a menacing ejaculation that he realized that things needed to change.

~

On that one night, late, after he was sure his wife was in bed and her four inch vibrator had fresh batteries, he went out. And he wooed a woman with those ears of his, wiggling them at her as if he was a squirrel looking for its next nut to crack.

Not only had this woman been seduced to the max, but from the very first touch of his steel cock against her moist flaps, she knew that her life was over.

Or, life as she knew it anyway.

Keep reading

{dry the river, “weights and measures” // j.r.r. tolkien, the two towers // lemony snicket, the beatrice letters // supernatural, “despair”}

Reasons why the Harry Potter movies really messed up the Marauders

- Let’s start with the most obvious point : their age.

All actors who play characters from the Marauders’ era are way too old. Lily and James died at the age of 21 but in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Geraldine Somerville and Adrian Rawlins were respectively 34 and 41 years old.

Having older actors play Harry’s parents totally negates the fact that they were just kids when they died (and also that they were just kids when they had Harry, and considering that they were in the middle of a war, Harry was most certainly an accident, but let’s not get into that right now). It makes their death less tragic, plus it’s just not accurate ok.

These guys are also way too old

Anyone who attended Hogwarts at the same time as James and Lily would have been in their 30s during Harry’s years. That’s just not the case of Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis and Timothy Spall. Again, the whole tragedy of their lives revolves around the fact that they never got to grow old (or even to grow up in Sirius’ case, but again, that’s another issue/theory). Snape was only 38 when he died, but Alan Rickman was 65 in Deathly Hallows part 2. Now, I love Alan Rickman’s portrayal of Snape as much as the next person, but this age thing still bothers me a lot.

- Another very obvious point : Lily’s eyes

I mean, how do you even screw up so badly? How many times is it mentioned that Lily had green eyes, just like Harry’s? First of all, neither Harry nor the various actresses who played Lily had green eyes, but they hired an actress to play young Lily whose eyes didn’t even match Daniel Radcliffe’s?

I know the fandom has been talking about this for ages, and we should all have moved on by now, but it’s such an important part of the story, I don’t think I can ever get over it.

- On to point number 3 : THIS

James Potter was indeed on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but certainly not in 1970, as he attended Hogwarts from 1971 to 1979, and as a Chaser, NOT a Seeker.

- Should we even talk about this?

First of all, those two actors look nothing alike, and second of all, there is no way in hell that this is what James Potter looked like. Everything, from his hair (James is supposed to have dark, messy hair) to his face is off. I don’t know who that is but it’s not James Potter.

- Now, onto a less obvious point : the Marauder’s Map.

I’m sure we all have wondered, at some point or another, why the hell Fred and George never noticed Peter Pettigrew on the map. After all, the name would have been following Percy, and then Ron around all the time.

Well, I do have a theory as to why Peter’s name would not have appeared on the map, but the movies ruined that.

Let me explain. In the movie, Harry sees Peter Pettigrew’s name on the map, but in the book, the only person who sees Peter’s name is Remus.

My theory is that the Marauders, when they made the map, made it so that no one could see their names on it, other than the Marauders themselves. That way, if it fell into the wrong hands (say, a professor’s, or Snape’s), that person couldn’t use it to know their whereabouts. But the other Marauders could see their friends’ names so they always knew where to find each other.

That would explain why Remus was able to see Peter on the map, but Fred and George never noticed the man who literally slept in the same bed as their brother.

Again, since Harry sees Peter on the map in the movie, that theory can no longer be applied, and the plot hole remains.

- Finally, my last, and most important point :

The Marauders’ story is literally NEVER talked about in the movies?? Nowhere does it say that Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were in fact Remus, Peter, Sirius and James. Nowhere does it say that THEY were the Marauders. Nowhere does it say how or why they became animagi. They don’t talk about the Prank, or why the Whomping Willow was planted, or where the Shrieking Shack got its reputation as a haunted house. Why is Harry’s Patronus a stag? Who tf knows. Someone who never read the books would probably be very confused about the whole Marauders thing, because there. is. literally. nothing. about. them. in. the. movies.

(I’m mad.)

MJL, an excerpt from the writing collection, “mimicking maelstroms.”