Who Doesn't?

uhm wait what no it’s illegal and unnatural for stephen hawking to die no that is not okay and not possible and also no i’m not accepting this.

Daily reminder that yjhd will be 10 years old next year

“Sometimes I think people take reality for granted.” - Francesca Zappia, Made You Up

via @the-book-diaries

the saddest death in harry potter is my respect for jk rowling

When Jaun Eliya said: “ae shakhs ab tu mujhko sab kuch qabool hai, yeh bhi qabool hai ke tujhe cheen laye koi” and when Sajid Rahim said: “main tujhe bhoolne par raazi hoon aaj tu iss qadar udaasi hai” and when Ahmed Faraz said: “iss se pehle ke bewafa hojayen kyun na aye dost hum judaa hojayen” my heart decided to move on before actually enduring the pain of losing the bond.

Squirrel looking for his NEXT NUT TO CRACK??!

The Annuls of Jimmy Novak, Volume II

By @afanofmanystuffs and @sparklingcas

Tags: Castiel x Reader, Jimmy Novak x Reader, Crack, afanofmanystuffs’ Christmas Special, technically dub-con if you squint, co-written by sparklingcas and afanofmanystuffs, highly NSFW

A/N: So, uh, I think Katie is gonna go ahead and get nagged into posting Volume I, which is something of a drabble she created on a too warm September day. As of 12-21-17, there is a plot for The Annuls of Castiel. No idea if/when it will be written and published. I kind of took off with this a few weeks ago.

I took the liberty of tagging Katie’s NSFW Everything tags. She wrote the first part of that, which is divided with ~. I wrote the rest, which has – as page dividers.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate- I hope everyone gets a laugh out of this.

~

Jimmy Novak was a devout Christian man and a good husband and father on the outside.

He went to church and work, a perfectly productive member of society. He played his part, put food on the table, and read his daughter bed time stories like any good man would.

But deep down, and behind closed doors, only he and his wife knew the truth.

Jimmy Novak was a fuckboi™.

He had a heart like ice and a cock of steel, and could get any woman in bed with a wiggle of his ears. Some might think it’s strange, but you’d have to see it to believe it.

It wasn’t until he made a woman come from pure cervical stimulation and a menacing ejaculation that he realized that things needed to change.

~

On that one night, late, after he was sure his wife was in bed and her four inch vibrator had fresh batteries, he went out. And he wooed a woman with those ears of his, wiggling them at her as if he was a squirrel looking for its next nut to crack.

Not only had this woman been seduced to the max, but from the very first touch of his steel cock against her moist flaps, she knew that her life was over.

Or, life as she knew it anyway.

Keep reading

Prompt- Dean sleep talks but instead of saying cute things his ramblings are fucking terrifying (ex: "why is the man staring at us?" "there is blood everywhere" etc.) Cas has probably lost 10 years of his life from this. Cute fluffy comedy.

(I’m sorry this took SO long! Work, life, yadda yadda yadda. ;) Here you go, thank you for the prompt!)

No roommate is perfect. Castiel knows this.

Every relationship requires reaching compromises and learning boundaries, and it’s easier for things for become strained when two people are encroaching on each other’s living space. And squeezing two complete strangers into a dorm room the size of a shoebox and expecting them to get along for a year? Well, in his opinion, it’s a miracle that the number of homicides on college campuses isn’t higher, especially when adolescent hormones, poor impulse control, and underdeveloped frontal lobes are factored into the equation.

So, all things considered, Castiel feels pretty lucky to have Dean as his roommate.

Sure, Dean can be loud and boisterous, and he listens to music too loudly, but it doesn’t bother Castiel too much after the first few weeks. Dean’s questionable “tastes” in music actually start to grow on him, despite his better judgment. He’s even started picking up words to some of the songs, because Dean has a habit of belting out a lyric and then pointing dramatically at Castiel to sing the next verse, and Castiel had gotten tired of the disappointed look on Dean’s face whenever he didn’t know the words, so maybe he had looked up some of the lyrics between his classes.

But it definitely goes both ways, because Dean can pretend he doesn’t like Castiel’s soft jazz or documentaries or fiber-heavy cereal brands, but Castiel hasn’t been fooled since the day he walked into their room and found Dean hunched over his laptop, eyes suspiciously red, transfixed by Castiel’s copy of March of the Penguins. Before he could even say a word, Dean had slammed the laptop shut, face flushing red, and snapped, “Shut up, Cas! Some of the eggs didn’t hatch! Stop laughing, Cas!”

And yes, Dean can be a little over-the-top about cleaning (before rooming with Dean, Castiel would’ve thought there could never be such a thing as too clean, but he’s learned differently), but he’s learned to live with it.

For example, when Castiel comes back from class and spots Dean on his hands and knees scrubbing the baseboards, the smell of Lysol hitting him like a brick to the face, he’s learned that Dean needs space, so he goes to the library for a few hours until Dean’s worked off whatever stress or anger he’s been keeping bottled up. Then he comes back, drags Dean away from wiping out the inside of their desk drawers, and takes him to The Roadhouse for a burger. If Dean decides to confide in him, good; but if not, he can still see the tension easing out of Dean’s shoulders as they sit in the familiar atmosphere, talking about classes, talking about everything and nothing, knees barely brushing under the table.

And, in an effort to do his part, Castiel has started being more mindful about picking up after himself and not leaving his damp towels on the floor. He even tries to remember to make his bed in the mornings, although he forgets more often than not in his haste to get ready for class (not that it really matters because it’ll be made when he comes back, anyways).

And okay, Dean is lively and social and charismatic, and there’s always strange people in their dorm room, but Dean always make a point to introduce Castiel to everyone and try to include Castiel in the conversations, even if he doesn’t have much to contribute. Most of Dean’s friends are tolerable, and Castiel finds himself genuinely liking a few of them, such as Charlie and Benny, and even participating in political debates or Mario Kart games. And on the days that Castiel has a test or a paper due the next day, Dean will unceremoniously kick everyone out without Castiel even having to ask, good-naturedly yelling at everyone to “get lost, moochers, Cas has an Abnormal Psych test tomorrow and he’s gonna kick it in the ass!”.

And fine, Dean does party quite a bit on the weekends (or on the random Tuesday) and comes back in the middle of the night, inevitably waking up Castiel no matter how quiet he tries to be. But Castiel can’t even hold it against him, because when he tucks Dean’s drunk ass into bed and brings him a glass of water and some ibuprofen, Dean gives him the most profoundly grateful look that it’s almost humbling. Castiel doesn’t deserve a look like that for doing such a simple thing, a thing that any decent roommate would do.

Dean never says anything the next morning after these occurrences, but Castiel knows that Dean remembers, because Dean will find ways to make it up to him for the next week – just small things, like having coffee ready for him before his classes, or stocking up on Castiel’s favorite brand of peanut butter.

So no, Dean isn’t the perfect roommate, but Castiel doesn’t mind. He knows he’s not perfect either. But they have a good system, and they get along pretty well most of the time. There’s still some things that Castiel doesn’t understand – like why Dean insists that he’s dumb even though he’s excelling in his engineering classes – and they still have arguments, sometimes petty and sometimes not, but Castiel can’t imagine being roommates with anyone except Dean.

Although honestly, Dean hasn’t been just “a roommate” for a long time now. Castiel considers the term “best friend” to be much more fitting. Castiel lives with his best friend, and he thinks this makes him very lucky.

With one exception.

Dean talks in his sleep.

[Keep reading on Ao3]

Reblog if its okay to message you on anon until I am comfortable enough to reveal myself to you

truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro…………………. unless……………………….?

i am so wildly ordinary like grass growing on pavement