Latest Posts by the-doe-prince - Page 2

Comic expressing some of my Kirby universe headcanons (Part 1)

im mr edgeworth’s favourite little inmate

you can’t save everyone.

(but intention sometimes outweighs outcome and, if only for that, the effort is still worth it in the end).

yes i did in fact start this while the trend was still new and relevant so fuck off LOL

Fucked up actually how Garmadon is just. Never allowed to be happy and he knows it. He's a young kid who's going out of his way to protect his little brother and he gets so horrifically cursed and punished and doomed for it for the rest of his life, and he grows up knowing this will haunt and change him, that this will vilify him. There's all this talk of a 'balance' between good and evil and how both must exist, so does it drive Garmadon mad knowing that he is still technically playing a role in preserving the natural order of things, yet he will be despised and horrified by what he's done, grappling with the guilt in a best-case scenario, while others are celebrated because they're lucky enough to be chosen to fight for good instead?

He had to constantly fight the evil in his veins growing up, knowing it would eventually be over. But he still tried his best to do as much good as he possibly could, he tried not to hold it against Wu but at the same time... He took such an enormous bullet for his brother. Wu never asked him to do it, but Garmadon wasn't even allowed to agree to it either. I can see how easy it would've been to tell himself; Wu is going to grow old and loved and happy. I won't be. I deserve something for my sacrifice, for what I did for his sake.

What does he think, what right would we have to judge me, as if I haven't already lost it all for him, as if he doesn't have to contend with how he might act under the influence of the Great Devourer?! Garmadon actually gets this little bit of happiness with Misako, even a child... And fate plays the cruelest joke, practically punishing Garmadon for this, by making this child the very Green Ninja destined to defeat him; Why not someone else, like Morro dammit?! Even so, Garmadon does everything to NOT take out his frustration on Lloyd, despite knowing Lloyd is supposed to end any chance at happiness for Garmadon by ending his life.

The introduction of the Great Devourer's venom as a plot point is interesting, because it admittedly does absolve Garmadon of his wrongdoing (or make it very easy to) by re-contextualizing it all as something he's forced to commit, yet very much does try to fight against. Him continuing to love and care for Lloyd and look for loopholes out of fighting his son, instead of just destroying him, does prove how much he's trying to avert the venom's influence anyway. He IS trying.

I think the lingering specter looming over Garmadon over his inevitable fate must've like. Made it really hard for him to be happy at times, or even dare to dream of happiness. He committed his youth to saving the world, and then was trapped in the Underworld for years. He languishes alone with only the company of people who hate him and only go along out of coercion, people who DID choose to be evil. Garmadon has his agonizing stint as the lord of darkness, but still tries to help Lloyd, and after everything is freed.

And he still tries to atone!!! He still tries to make up for everything by swearing a vow of pacifism, and only rightfully goes back on that when an innocent life, his very son he does so much for, is threatened! Garmadon is allowed like, what? A few years of happiness with his wife and child, only a few years at best of not having to worry about the future because now destiny is out of the way and it's a fresh start for him, he can actually rest and breathe easy knowing there's no guaranteed doom ahead of him.

But he's still haunted by his past, still trying to make up for it; And then he has to sacrifice himself to save everyone all over again. And Garmadon dies, but he's not even allowed to stay dead because his soul is brought back in a fractured, tormented state, by someone who idolizes and misunderstands the worst period of his life, his greatest trauma. And now Garmadon is stumbling around, half-formed, incomplete, back in that same old trap and it's just so hard... But after everything, he still goes back to the same attempts at bettering himself, going against his nature one step at a time, in all of the little ways, rebuilding himself.

But his relationship with his son, this whole time, is deeply destroyed and fractured and hurt in a way it's never been before; And he and Lloyd never really get that reconciliation at the end of Crystalized. He doesn't get to be with his wife anymore and vice-versa. Garmadon is half a soul but still trying, he's always trying to be kind and good even in the worst of circumstances, it's his most natural instinct no matter how much tries to bury it underneath.

It's just. MAN; He really isn't allowed to be happy, isn't allowed to live or settle down. Truly doomed by the narrative, and by the hype of the Lego Ninjago Movie resurrecting the image of Lord Garmadon. Garmadon isn't allowed to hope, he isn't allowed to rest or settle down, it's just a constant battle for him. Sometimes I think he must've had a moment where he was just tired of being nice despite everything the world threw at him, that maybe he deserved a chance to go ape shit against everyone's ungrateful attitude and hypocritical condemnation by just embracing the darkness, and getting to think about himself for a moment; I think the closest to that was the love letter situation with Wu and Misako. A moment like that in the Oni trilogy would've been nice to see, though it has been a long while since I've watched it, so it may have happened.

Maybe Garmadon and the Overlord could've bonded over the fact that they're both doomed to play the role that nobody wants and everyone hates, yet is explicitly required by 'the balance' to exist nonetheless. I'd have loved to see him and Harumi interact in Crystalized, given Garmadon seems actually distraught when he accidentally kills her; It'd have done nice things for both characters to explore Garmadon's feelings about someone who chooses to glamorize his evil, but also weirdly enough appreciates him over it, too?

I'd have liked to see those two actually talk about the fact that Garmadon was doomed again all over, yet unintentionally maybe given a second chance at happiness, given his attempts at rehabilitation. And how does Harumi feel about this, how does she move on when her idol also fails her in this way? Does she keep clinging to a replacement like the Overlord, or just let go? It all turned to be NOT what she expected, both with the ninja and then with Garmadon.

It's like, man. The very concept of the 'balance' between good and evil having to exist, that there can't be too much evil but there also can't be too much good, and how this latter part is never explored because it exposes how fucked up the status quo is, it's driving me insane; Hell it drives Wu, Misako, Lloyd, and even Morro insane too. Someone has to take the fall, someone has to be the scapegoat, the sacrificial martyr, and be vilified for doing something everyone needs them to do. I'd go mad. Maybe that's the real reason for the Overlord's cruelty. And what happens if you take into account the original plan for Crystalized to reveal the Overlord is just the FSM's rejected Oni side?

I finally got to my au for ninjago !!

Starting with finale battle. 1/4

WARNING !BLOOD!

I want to add more adulthood to it. I doubt that Garmadon could have come out clean and unharmed after his body transformed into a dragon (plus, yes, he had to fall from a great height), so a little bit of blood should be added.

(and ofc his original GI, not some new one...)

He was definitely on adrenaline for the first few seconds when he recovered from evil, but... Boundless fatigue came to him immediately

He will be okay I swear! :')

My September

A double Illustration this time, art for the Flu Season oneshot in the Thief in the Dragon's Den series

A Dad Lance Comic

Just a warning: There’s a panic attack. Also, there are bright and dark colors so eyestrain beware. The first image is a gif, and there’s a slight jitter so eyestrain warning x2. Please be safe and don’t read more if any of these will bother you.

Keep reading

A conclusion to the Pokemon Masters story "Pure Hearts and Rainbow Wings."

the result of listening to Trainer Lodge: Night too many times and finding too much wholesome Lance and Silver content

THIS LOOKS SO COOL?????

Inside the church

Based off this

KBNZ in 2024? Sign me up

does he know

I remember first seeing this around the time it was first being made and can I just say love the art style. Series is a must read for any Alola fans as the development for characters like Guzma and Gladion is so good.

El’s Alolan Adventures MASTERPOST

HELLO and WELCOME to “El’s Alolan Adventures” - A Pokemon-Fancomic series :D Here you will find all comics of the series ordered chronologically by story arc (so not chronological by date of upload, the more you know) 

This list will be updated with every new comic canon to the timeline! A couple of scribble comics and singular artworks are NOT included in this list, so check out my blog with the hashtag #Els Alolan Adventures for everything else! 

If you’d like to support this series, you can tip me with a Ko-fi!  :D  Or consider supporting me on Patreon!

5$ Pledgers get early access to new comics and future videos!

Info on the protagonist |  Current character overview 

SEASON 1

Guzmas Redemption:

Dont get it twisted

An unexpected friend

Hala’s Advice Part 1 |  Part 2

Slice of Life inbetween:

Ten Carat Training

NO SWEARING AROUND HAU

Fishing for Araquanid

El’s Pokemon: An Introduction

Package to Hoenn (tiny teaser)

Back from Hoenn Part 1 |  Part 2 |  BONUS

Dusk - The sassy sword from overseas Part 1 |  Part 2 | Part 3

Introducing: Latias

Someone REALLY wants to battle Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

BONUS (meme)

Rescuing Reskull

Do you have a license for that

A long overdue conversation

Call from Kanto

Call from Kanto: Aftermath

Conversations Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | BONUS

SEASON 2

Wait what do you mean you have a full bug team

Swipe through Memories

Bug Buddies (Illustration)

A new friend Part 1 | Part 2

Returning the Favor | BONUS

Gladion - Aether Foundation’s President

A present absence Part 1 | Part 2

Midnight Chatter Part 1 | Part 2

Aether’s broken Paradise

Mr. Beans Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Mohn - The Bridge

Gladion meets Mohn Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

A Promise

I thought he said he PROMISED Part 1 | Part 2

A Compromise

Calm before the storm

Pastime Games Part 1 | Part 2

Dusk is not happy

Shitposts I don’t know where to put in the timeline yet hdsjdhsdsdh

- It’s a full moon in Alola so yoU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS - Galar? I dont know her - Hau and Guzma go on a quest

Dusk takes over twitter (April Fools 2020)

Tweets Part 1  ->  Jenna Snapshots 

Tweets Part 2 

Tweets Part 3  ->  Kira Snapshots

Tweets Part 4 FINALE

VIDEO: When El isn’t home

VIDEO: Mr Sandman Meme

OMGGG I LOVE THIS ART SO MUCH I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT

GAVIN BROTHERS AND BLACKQUILL SIBLINGS LETS FUXKING GO

ace attorney + older siblings

Re-read this bit in Half-Blood Prince again and thinking about how blatantly it seems to be telling us that Harry is biased against Snape and our impression of him thus far has been clouded by seeing him through Harry's eyes (emphases mine):

‘The Dark Arts,’ said Snape, ‘are many, varied, ever-changing and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible.’ Harry stared at Snape. It was surely one thing to respect the Dark Arts as a dangerous enemy, another to speak of them, as Snape was doing, with a loving caress in his voice? . . . ‘He tried to jinx me, in case you didn’t notice!’ fumed Harry. ‘I had enough of that during those Occlumency lessons! Why doesn’t he use another guinea pig for a change? What’s Dumbledore playing at, anyway, letting him teach Defence? Did you hear him talking about the Dark Arts? He loves them! All that unfixed, indestructible stuff -‘ ‘Well,’ said Hermione, ‘I thought he sounded a bit like you.’ ‘Like me?’ ‘Yes, when you were telling us what it’s like to face Voldemort. You said it wasn’t just memorising a bunch of spells, you said it was just you and your brains and your guts - well, wasn’t that what Snape was saying? That it really comes down to being brave and quick-thinking?’ Harry was so disarmed that she had thought his words as well worth memorising as The Standard Book of Spells that he did not argue.

Half-Blood Prince, Ch. 9

There's a direct contrast being drawn from one scene to the next between Harry's perception of Snape and Hermione's less-biased, more critical one. Where Harry hears a "loving caress" for the dark arts in Snape's voice, Hermione hears the passionate, determined explanation that Harry gave a year earlier - one based in a firsthand understanding of what it takes to protect oneself from harm against dark magic.

This is also the first scene in this book where we see Snape teaching a class. The first time he shows up in the book is when he's entrusted by Tonks to deliver Harry safely to the Great Hall from the school gates. So the first encounter with Snape in HBP is as Harry's protector, be it begrudging or not, and the second is one where an immediate parallel is drawn after between him and Harry, Hermione questioning the latter's bias and hinting to the reader that judging him based on Harry's perception may not paint an accurate picture of Snape. Through the rest of the book we see Harry have an increasingly hostile relationship with Snape while developing a great fondness for the Half-Blood Prince, despite it also being Snape, only Harry doesn't know that, so he's able to see his humor and cleverness.

This theme is a dominant one throughout the book, though it doesn't become clear until the end when we find out Snape was the Half-Blood Prince, but by then our impression of the Prince is murky given the unexpectedly violent outcome of Harry trying out Sectumsempra (and it can be argued he's to blame for doing so against another person instead of finding out what the spell does in a safer way), and our impression of Snape is even worse given that he'd just killed Dumbledore. We don't find out until the next book that Snape had been fighting on the same side as Harry the whole time, risking - and eventually losing - his life for the same cause. In retrospect, Rowling (boo, hiss) spends a lot of time in HBP dropping breadcrumbs that Harry's impression of Snape - and thus the reader's - is affected by bias and thus inaccurate.

Spoilers under the cutoff because there is no way I'm jumpscaring ya'll with the biggest gut-punch in the game. Also I'm pretty sure it'd be taller than me if printed out so bare with me!

I'm going to be talking about a very important section in Case 5-5: Turnabout for Tomorrow...

...because good god almighty, can we talk about how GOOD Simon's Mood Matrix segment is?!

Pretense: Facing Your Fears

Let's set the stage for Simon and Athena before we build to what I want to talk about. Context is important and in this case it helps make the following revelations that much more effective.

Both characters at this point have gone through hell and high water to save the other from a dreadful fate; Simon enduring 7 years on death-row to protect Athena from punishment for Metis' death, Athena studying law in spite of her intense fear and trauma to undo the damage done by his false confession. By the time we get here we've seen how deeply Athena is affected by her trauma. We've seen how far Simon is willing to go in the name of protecting Athena, going so far as to disregard his own sister's concern for his safety.

By the time of Turnabout for Tomorrow's trial, they have practically been pushed to their breaking points; Athena is indicted for Clay's murder and is confronted with the idea that she herself is responsible for the death of her mother - her memories of UR-1 resurfacing and being pushed back at the same time as the worst-case scenario becomes apparent. Simon's efforts to save Athena from this punishment have been rendered practically useless with her incarceration, the phantom slipping from his grasp, the guilt Athena would bear being the only thing he stands to protect her from.

At the end of Phoenix and Edgeworth's initial skirmish and seeming Guilty verdict, Simon steps in with one last effort to protect Athena's innocence in this matter. Even though she's set to be convicted for Clay's murder, this carries a lot more weight if ever she realised what he saw that day would prove her guilty of killing Metis Cykes.

Athena - despite a practical mental breakdown earlier that day - pushes herself to stand at the Defense's bench to achieve what she has been working towards from the day Phoenix inspired her to persue this career. She's very much still afraid, still rattled by the accusation Aura had made, stating that she wants to run out of the courtroom as she speaks. Despite this she pushes herself to stand there and ask Simon for the chance to face her worst fears - that of the UR-1 trial and the horrible idea that she could be guilty herself - by letting her reveal his true emotions.

Simon accepts, confident that his prowess in psychology can deflect her efforts, though nevertheless wary of the emotions he has kept under wraps for 7 years. Athena (& Phoenix I guess...) slowly dismantle his testimony in full-knowledge that he is lying for a reason - one that could potentially destroy her if proven true. Both of them are staring down the worst-case scenario for each other and trying desperately to keep the other away from that event.

Let's go over that testimony then, shall we? I'll go through it section by section.

Part 1: The False Confession

Simon's lie relies on people seeing him as a heartless killer. We see him build and reinforce that image in his trials, acting as beligerently and violently as he can muster without causing any real damage. By this point he's already slashed at & sicked his bird on just about everyone who's ever stood in court, save for Bobby Fulbright. He's had to be shocked by him just to stop.

Suffice to say it was pretty effective since it took a hostage situation to convince officials to give UR-1 a re-trial (even after the HAT-2 bombing implied that the crimes that day were purpetrated by another party).

To this end, he brought out every trick in the book to keep his true memories on the event at bay from prying eyes; his closed-off nature, his mastery of psychology, his training with blade and hawk alike, his time in prison exposed to the worst humanity had to offer. All of these were ample tools in ensuring that his image is not broken.

His anger and joy regarding his false murder are almost complete lies. At best, he's enraged that such a thing happened at all and glad that his scheme had worked to protect Athena. The phantom later on demonstrates that people can indeed fake their emotions, though some genuine feeling will slip through the cracks if you try.

Enter Athena. Not only does she have a keen ear for one's tone, she has studied psychology and put her mind towards applying her talent to the coutroom. Her Mood Matrix program makes what she hears apparent to even the least informed person and she's already cracked a good number of testimonies with this power (well, two in 5-3 since Apollo and Phoenix did all the others, though they couldn't have without her explaining things).

For most people, Simon's anger would overshadow the relief he felt when he found Athena in the laboratory. Just enough to keep his lie sound for the untrained ear. That same relief for Athena's safety is weaponised in the next two lines as he talks about how cathartic the act was, cementing his intentions to others.

His relief at Athena's safety did need some explaination - leaning on people's poor perceptions of Metis to help his story along - though aside from that? This testimony is practically impenetrable with only one easily explained oddity that only Athena could have ever picked up on.

As I said however, one's true emotions can't help but leak out. Even the best liars like Simon and the phantom can't help that.

Part 2: A Ronin's Remorse

Only two statements change at this point so those are the only ones I'll show here.

One, he's dropped the anger in the second line to focus on his relief. Before he only mentioned that he found her instead of Metis, using his anger to mask his thoughts as frustration that he had to wait for his plans to go through.

Two, his joy is replaced with intense sadness towards the act of plunging the katana into Metis. There's no mention of catharsis here; only describing what had happened to her. To that, he would feel a great sadness.

Naturally he would grieve Metis, though that would not track with his prior satisfaction with the act. So he leaned on Athena again to explain his emotions, and that does explain things rather cleanly.

Note that this is the only time his Noise Level drops, too. It goes from 100% to 40% here - it's the closest he's willing to get to how he truly felt about the event without giving the game away. Any closer and he would start revealing emotions that do not match his words in the slightest.

Part 3: Brief Shock

His noise level rises to 60% here, so the emotions displayed are less accurate to how he truly felt. Although his tale of grand homicide has shifted somewhat...

Now, his concern at the beginning wasn't killing Dr Cykes to rescue Athena; he entered the room because he heard that Athena was upset in the other room while looking for her in the Psychology Lab.

How true it is that Athena was crying at that moment is debatable given future revelations, though nothing's contradictary about this section. Perhaps at this point she hadn't thought to put Metis on the repair table having only just woken up, reacting much like any child would at the sight of her mother's body before the idea crossed her mind. We do have an hour's gap between Metis' death and Simon leaving the lab, after all.

In any case, Simon's relief has turned to shock in the moment he finds Athena in the Robotics Lab. Any mention of Athena at this stage is long gone - he only talks about his hurry to the Robotics Lab. It isn't clear what he would be so shocked by at this stage. Most anyone would know, not much was out of the ordinary when he walked into the room.

Look at how he hesitates before arriving at this explaination. His words are a lot shakier than they were for prior testimony, the excuse he gives a blatant lie to cover his tracks. The noise level goes up again with this as well, from 60% to a full 100%; Simon has completely obscured the events he witnessed once again.

This was the closest Athena and Phoenix got to poking at what he really saw in the lab and it clearly rattled him. Before, his reasoning was sound. Now, we're left wondering what he actually saw in there to result in that much shock...

Part 4: The Blade of Evidence

Unfortunately, this is where the Mood Matrix becomes useless. Simon has explained his contradictory emotions deftly up to this point; his relief at Athena's wellbeing, his grief at the loss of Metis Cykes, his surprise upon entering the lab. In stark contrast to a good few people subjected to Athena's therapy, Simon is the only one in the game that completely evades her attack. He knows how she operates & is well-versed in analytical psychology himself which shows in just how reasonable his explainations are up to this point.

But stacking lies upon lies only gets you so far until it begins to contradict the one thing he can't re-interpret; evidence.

This is the only time he takes damage during his entire time on the stand. When his words no longer match what is physically verifiable, there is no recourse - his psychological prowess cannot disprove cold, hard facts. Just as Athena's abilities cannot be used as hard proof, rather requiring proof in and of itself (usually in the form of a confession from the witness).

Simon can no longer lie about what it is he saw in the lab that day. There are no avenues through which he can explain his shock and by now Athena & Phoenix have dug through his thoughts quite extensively. With that decisive cut they've managed to open Simon to one last attack...

...saldy, by opening one of his deepest, most painful wounds.

Part 5: That Terrible Scene

By this point it's clear everyone is getting much more than they bargained for. Simon's shock was only the tip of the iceberg; a raging storm of emotions had been hidden from earshot for 7 long years, far away from even Athena's keen ears.

The fact she's surprised that Simon has been carrying this for so long shows just how early he's managed to keep this under a lid, that he's had to hide it from young Athena as well (who's hearing was much more sensitive than now).

Athena herself has managed to endure the sound of people's hearts this entire time, in stark contrast to when being around people too long made her dizzy to the point of needing headphones. We've only seen two emotions at most go overboard at once with Marlon Rimes and she managed just fine with that noise - the grief and anger associated with the loss of his lover Azura Summers (at that point her empathy is the only thing that really shows). Simon is different. He feels everything all at once with such intensity that it pains Athena to hear for the first time since her debut. It changes the Mood Matrix screen we see here to purple for the first time that wasn't her demonstrating something to her co-workers (see Yuri Cosmos' MM sequence). Beyond volume and intensity of emotion, the fact that the person she cared so much for as to practice law to save from death row is experiencing so much mental anguish himself is distressing. Something terrible happened that day. It shook the ever-stoic Simon into a state not seen in even the most wild witness so far. He's hidden it for Athena's sake this entire time, but... why?

He's intentionally vague about it this time, compared to his more detailed accounts of the events. "That terrible scene!" leaves a lot to the imagination and nothing that comes to mind is comforting.

We all know why Athena's the defendant in this trial; Aura thinks she killed Metis Cykes that day. Edgeworth supports her theory through evidence that even Phoenix can't counter up to this point. Simon intervened in order to stop their efforts to indict her by lying about what happened that day.

Lying about... what, exactly, is the most concerning question. At this point the only two plausible explainations are that either Simon or Athena had done it. Savvier players might remember that Clonco stops by for a recharge at 2PM, same time as the crime, though Simon and Athena left the room at 3PM. There's a SMALL chance that what he saw could contradict what's been posited so far, though chances aren't looking great.

Also note that his line "I had no choice but to kill my mentor!" has gotten shorter. No mention of not wanting to hand Athena over. Just declaring in sheer hysteria that he did it and had no choice but to do it.

Simon is in a panic. Athena is reeling from her old friend's inner turmoil. No one is quite sure if what's about to be revealed will be in their favour.

He's very obviously concerned with Athena first and foremost; this entire act goes against even his own sister's wants, after all. That's where the centre of his most complex emotions lie.

And what do we find at the eye of the storm?

Part 6: Fixing Her Mother

Dr Cykes was already dead. Athena stood before her body on the repair table, bloody katana not too far away from her. She's covered in blood and no doubt in shock, but otherwise safe and sound.

Then Simon drops the bombshell; Athena looked at him with this look on her face and told him the following:

So.

Allow me to impart how gut-wrenching this entire sequence is.

On its own, it's already dark as dark can be. A smiling, dead-eyed little girl covered in blood is a sight to shake the hardiest to their core (the suspension of disbelief not withstanding - this is a cartoon depiction). I'm not the biggest fan of how Dual Destinies tends to jump between 3D and 2D anime but it can work. And boy does this work.

In context, this is Athena looking at Simon when he finds her mother Metis dead on the repair table. There's a bloody katana right by her and a stab wound on Metis. Athena has her mothers blood on her. She's smiling. Completely detatched from what is going on around her while looking Simon dead in the eye, telling him that she's about to take her mother apart to "fix" her.

Simon is in a whirlwind of emotions over this; grief at his mentor's death and for Athena's loss, relief that she's alive and well, furious that Metis had been murdered, and shocked that not only that this happened, not only that it seemingly happened because of her daughter... but that she's smiling as she's telling him the most horrific thing he could hear after seeing all of this.

Although. Simon isn't the only one Athena is looking at in this image.

She's also looking at herself. Her older self, the one that's just been told she killed her mother and how she intended to "fix" the situation.

Athena has not processed what happened that day by this point - her memories are still tucked away behind 5 Black Psyche Locks as a truth even she isn't aware of. Some parts of that memory come back to her here; the memory of stabbing someone with a blade, telling Simon she's going to "fix" Metis... but nothing more. The phantom is still hidden away from view. So the only logical conclusion she can come to at this point is that she did kill her mother that day.

She processes all of that while looking at herself, dead in the eye, covered in her mother's blood and smiling as if nothing's wrong.

She's looking back at the most innocent form of herself during the single worst event in her life. And she's smiling back at her.

Even better, she's looking at YOU. The player. Taking all of these dreadful things in while you and Athena are forced to witness something that shook SIMON SODDING BLACKQUILL to his core, before Athena finally breaks and screams in a combination of denial and anguish that her worst fear had come to light.

It's only worse when Simon explains that Metis Cykes truly did love Athena. Everything that she had done - especially the headphones Athena hated oh so much - was done to help her lead a normal life in spite of her condition. Simon, being well attuned to the needs and motivations of others, picked up on this and saw the Cykes for more than what they appeared. He did not want to believe that Athena would so callously kill her mother and rip her apart on her own machine. Without any evidence to prove the contrary, he took the fall to save her from guilt he saw as unjust. It had to be some kind of mistake... right?

Athena, on top of reliving UR-1 under the worst possible context, is practically frozen in her shivering pose the entire time. Without any evidence to the contrary, she has no reason to believe it wasn't her. Her faith in herself has completely shattered at this point. She was brave in wanting to confront the truth Simon had hidden all these years - especially after what Aura said while she was in the Detention Centre. Unfortunately it only revealed the worst for both characters; Simon's drive to protect Metis' daughter had been for naught, and Athena now has to live with the knowledge that in the abscence of decisive evidence, she had set every terrible thing that happened to the her, Simon, and Aura in motion 7 years ago.

I could nark about Phoenix's involvement here. How he steals much of Athena's thunder and how she would have been more fitting to point out the flaws in Simon's testimony, perhaps even showing some growth as a standard evidence-presenting lawyer through disproving the Ponco explaination. I do wish he was written and utilised better, though I completely understand why Athena specifically is out of commission for this part of the re-trial, especially immediately after Aura and Simon's revelations about her part in UR-1.

The trauma Athena experienced has a significant affect on her throughout DD and she's shown that enough pressure being built on her is enough to shut her down completely. UR-1 itself is horrific enough to warrent such a total shutdown in the times it occurs - specifically in regards to not being able to save a friend from a false conviction. The game does a good job in building up to and justifying her reactions. Having her truck on in spite of this is very much in the Athena spirit but there's a clear breaking point; going past that would reduce the impact significantly.

I do still think it would have been more effective for her to pick apart Simon's testimony though. You can't have your faux-protagonist make a big hoo-ha about being given a chance and then hand the steering-wheel to the guy who only learned of Simon's situation THAT SAME DAY-

Ahem. Sorry about that.

My gripes aside, this is a very effective and powerful sequence that makes the triumph later on all the more impactful. This struggle between two people trying to save the other, briefly falling into the darkest moment of both their lives, then somehow coming back from it is the main reason I cried over Simon thanking Athena while she finally let loose those tears of joy.

Dual Destinies can be amazing when it isn't being stupid, you know?

getting numbers at the club

Medium

Genshin Impact and Queercoding: Identifying Queercoding In Alhaitham and Kaveh’s Relationship

An Exploration of Queercoding in Genshin Impact

The updated Haikaveh essay is up! It is available as a PDF here!

Here are the updated/new things:

updated part of the introduction discussing cyno's story quest ii

updated part of the subsection 'Kaveh as Subversion' with a new picture and paragraph discussing framing

added a new section called 'Cyno’s Story Quest Act II  - Oathkeeper: Alhaitham and Kaveh’s Arc of Reconciliation';

updated the 'motif' subsection, discussing sethos's voice-over about alhaitham and kaveh in their mirror motif, the motif of coffee, and the motif of home

updated the queercoding subsection, discussing sethos's voice-over about alhaitham and kaveh

updated the conclusion with what is established in the new section discussing cyno's story quest ii

I hope you enjoy! <3

I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.

I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.

In honor of autism awareness month, here's a full comprehensible list as to why I think Rui is autistic, or at the very least, neurodivergent !!!! - 1, For starters, he was ostracized by his classmates for presumably almost a decade (2nd grade - 1st yr of high school), all because he was "different" and nobody around him could properly understand him. This has resulted in him struggling to form and maintain relationships. As stated in his second focus event, Revival My Dream, when he was a kid, Rui had a hard time conversering with his classmates because he felt as if he couldn't connect with them.

He's interested in more niche things, like robotics,

and he was also interested in things that people normally regard as "scary", such as moths;

After he became fond of shows and theater as well and attempted to include his classmates in one he thought of in an attempt to grow closer to them, his idea ultimately backfired since his classmates thought his way of directing was "dangerous", and this is where the ostracization seemed to start.

(translation by Arvon Oven) Being ostracized and shunned is unfortunately a common thing with people who have autism, and as I mentioned previously, Rui was alone for presumably seven years straight, all because he was regarded as "different". - 2, He has "restricted, obsessive interests" that can be seen as hyperfixations/special interests. Ever since he was a child, Rui's been heavily interested in both robotics/inventing and shows. A hyperfixation is described as, "A complete obsession with or absorption into a particular task. The task can be a hobby, a TV show, a subject of interest, or something else. People who hyperfixate may tune out the world around them and ignore important responsibilities, such as eating or sleeping." Rui's interest in shows specifically can be seen as a hyperfixation, as in the first side story of his Unforeseen Keynotes (or Unexpected Happenings according to the English translation) card, Rui was so engrossed in thinking about the next show they'd be doing, he had completely forgotten that Robo-Nene was due for maintenance, and Nene mentions that this wouldn't be the first time he's forgotten to eat or sleep because of how engrossed he gets in his thoughts while thinking about shows.

Nene also mentions in Wonderlands x Showtime's main story that Rui becomes so absorbed in his shows that he "loses sight of everything else", (In the original Japanese version, she says "When it comes to shows, he isn't able to look at his surroundings, so things never work out".)

and also in KAMIKOU FESTIVAL!, where he mentions that his tendency to put shows "at the center of everything" might be a flaw of his;

(translation by Ren) It's also mentioned in A Once-In-A-Lifetime Pandemonium!? that he'll get so absorbed in his thoughts while thinking of shows, he'll completely forget about his surroundings.

(translation by tsukasa’s #3 fan) - 3, He has texture issues, which is also common with people who have autism. It's been mentioned multiple times throughout the course of the game that he detests vegetables, but more specifically cucumbers and things in the cucurbitaceae family (such as watermelon & pumpkin), because they all share the same texture.

He mentions in an area conversation with Nene that he usually only eats at restaurants he's familiar with (he sticks to routine; another thing common with people who have autism), so eating out has never been an issue to him, and he even refused to eat vegetables when they were quite literally stranded on a deserted island and in a life-threatening situation.

- 4, He info-dumps. A lot.

This one is pretty self-explanatory, I think. - 5, He's overly logical and struggles with his emotions. He's had trouble on multiple occasions understanding his emotions, such as in Full Power! Wonder Halloween! where he unconsciously holds himself back after inadvertently injuring Tsukasa with one of his inventions, but he didn't realize that he was even holding himself back until somebody pointed it out, and he didn't realize that he was holding himself back because he was worried, either. Something similar happens in Heat Up! Kamikou High Cheering Squad! where he unconsciously holds himself back because he feared being shunned again, but once again, he didn't realize the reason for him holding himself back until somebody pointed it out for him. In the first side story of his I Can't Afford to Lose *4 card, Rui comes to the Sekai, hoping to talk to somebody to put his mind at ease. As he runs into Meiko and Luka and they ask him what's wrong because he seemed down, Rui says that "I just wanted to think about production, but my feelings got in the way of thinking". He then says "Feelings really are troublesome. / Sometimes, you have to hold them back with all of your might... It'd be nice if someone other than me could manage these troublesome feelings". (In the English translation, he says "Emotions are so complicated and can be so troublesome at times. / There are even times when one becomes completely overwhelmed by them... If only someone else were able to help put a lid on them.") Lastly, I'd like to mention that in Revival My Dream, after Rui asks his mom if he's different from the people around him, she responds by saying that, yes, he is different, but she also says that she was "just like him" as a child, and seeing how autism is caused mainly by genetics, his mom can very well be autistic too.

Okay, that is all!!! Thank you for listening to me yap :3

The Japanese Version of Deltarune

about a week ago i decided to translate japanese deltarune because i was curious and bored. i found a lot of stuff that i haven’t heard anyone talk about before!

i only translated chapter 2 because i got to the cliffs and remembered that watching/playing chapter 1 over and over again is really boring to me. might do it when/if i finish writing the post.

uhhh a few warnings. i’m not fluent in japanese whatsoever (i’m like n4 level? i think?), and i might not explain this very well to people who don’t know anything about the language. if you’re confused about anything i say, just ask and i’ll explain it in better detail.

i got all of the gameplay from tsuwahasu’s playthroughs of chapter 2 (pacifist and weird route), so all of the screenshots will be from his vods. i picked his vod to watch somewhat randomly so i was very surprised when he not only got all the easter eggs/secrets on a blind playthrough besides the egg room, but also beat spamton neo in one try, god damn

also i’m not the first person to look at the jp version of deltarune. please look at these posts/videos if you want to see stuff that’s already known in better detail:

skellfamily (light/dark world writing, characters’ pronouns and speech patterns) | suzyundertale (ch2 character names, some jokes) suzyundertale again (the gonermaker sequence) | duxarcana and halfbreadchaos (character in the code) | kazarinn (comments from the translators)

reblogs highly appreciated—this took a ton of time!!!

NOW.

LET US BEGIN.

first things first. the gonermaker sequence is one of the most well-known differences in the japanese language among lore fanatics like myself.

in japanese, the first character speaking to you (gaster/Geoff) speaks in kanji (normal) and katakana instead of hiragana (not normal, incredibly strange sounding). the character who hijacks the gonermaker at the end speaks differently, with kanji and hiragana (normal). as suzyundertale mentions in their post, the patterns are extremely similar to a certain fallen child from the end of the undertale genocide route.

another well-known lore Thing in the japanese version is that the hidden “scrapped” lines (AKA the person trapped in the code) use very feminine and childlike speaking mannerisms. this makes it very likely that the person is dess holiday

i’m not going to be going over much personal pronoun stuff, because other people have already covered most of that, though i haven’t seen one thing mentioned by anyone else:

seam uses the pronoun “atashi” (あたし), which is normally a very girly pronoun but in this case it’s meant to make them seem old and wise, since it was a more common pronoun in olden times. their other mannerisms are gender neutral and not feminine, but their name is localized to “nui” (ヌイ)— the word for “seam” in japanese, as well as an actual feminine given name.

does the use of “atashi” combined with having a fem name confirm that they are female? i’m 95% sure the answer is no. do those two things lead native japanese speakers to believe that they are female? i have no idea.

light and dark world

skellfamily mentioned all of this in the post i linked, but i have something small to add

undertale uses mainly hiragana in its text for the japanese version, with some small exceptions for when the fourth wall is broken. this is referencing earthbound, which also did this. this carries over to the light world of deltarune, but kanji is used liberally in the dark world. this is explained by toby fox wanting the light world to make the player think deltarune would be like undertale.

that’s all

small jokes and stuff in the localization

the “librarby” misspelling joke carries over, with it being named “toshonka” (the japanese word for library is “toshokan”).

the AGREE2ALL puzzle was changed to say “YEEES20!!”. this can be read as “yes ni maru” (with the number 2 being read as “ni” in jp and “maru” being the word for a circle), meaning “yes to all” just like in english!

the “apple” keyboard puzzle still says “apple” though ralsei mentions that apple means “ringo” (the japanese word for apple) if you talk to him for a hint.

funnily enough, this joke was kept as is! (“kris, type as i say. f…” “…un!”)

the tasque’s battle lines in english are binary codes, with “me” being 0 and “ow” being 1. this is similar in jp. “nyan” is the equivalent of “meow” in that language, so “ny”=0 and “an”=1. cute!

the “bosom” joke is about the same, if anyone was curious

“breasts / annihilation”

“b…breast?”

“it means tity”

probably my favorite joke in the entire japanese version: in english, before the berdly fight on the roller coaster, he incorrectly refers to lightners as “Light Nerds” . in japanese this is changed to make him use ateji (a combination of kanji that doesn’t mean anything but sounds like an already existing word with their combined readings), calling the lightners 雷斗奈悪 (raitonaa, phonetically similar to the transliteration raitonā which the translation uses). it has the exact same effect (of berdly trying to sound smart but actually being very incorrect), but it’s localized in an outstanding way

“you are filled with the power of not knowing what sugarplums are” is changed to “you are filled with the power of not knowing what christmas pudding is”.

when berdly incorrectly calls susie “susan”, she says “who’s susan?” instead of “my name isn’t susan”. japanese people likely don’t know that “susie” is usually short for “susan”, so it makes sense for her to be even more confused in this version.

the spelling contest in berdly’s flashback is still an english spelling contest, with berdly specifying that it’s english.

instead of saying “susie… a real dragon blazers reference?!” when susie references dragon blazers 2, berdly says, “susie… you’re… a serious dragon blazers player…?!”

on that topic, dragon blazers is instead called dragon blader in japanese. was it called that the whole time? am i misremembering? i legitimately don’t know

the ice-e keysmash puzzle is changed so that you can type it out in japanese as すふぎおろてにぺけなも. it still does not mean anything.

right after susie referenced godzilla with the susiezilla line on the ferris wheel, she references ANOTHER tokusatsu. i think. here (while about to fall on ralsei) she says “ore, sanjou!!!!” (i arrive!), which is a famous catchphrase from kamen rider den-o. i’m like 85% sure it was an intentional reference. den-o is one of my favorite rider shows so this is amazing to me

and lastly. the name of minecrap is changed to マインクシャット (mainkushatto), which seems to be a play on some word plus “minecraft” like in english. i’m not sure what the wordplay is. i’ll get back to you on this

lore-y important stuff

about dess

in japanese, the december typing puzzle still spells out “december” in english.

noelle refers to dess as “onee-chan” (older sis)— it’s common for japanese people to refer to their older siblings like this, and it would be extremely weird if noelle called her “dess”. she could have called her “dess-neechan” or some variation of that, but i highly doubt that the name “dess” is being obscured, especially because “dess” transliterated would sound extremely close, if not alike to “desu” as well as the transliteration of “death”.

the knight

(i took the screenshot and forgot to turn auto captions off, sorry)

this line from a swatchling says something like “it captures the moment where the ‘knight’ creates a ‘fountain’ themself, with their own hands”, but the word for “themself” (みずから/mizukara) is written in hiragana, and “mizukara” could also technically be read as “from water”. was this a deliberate water-darkness parallel? i have no idea.

speaking of water!

the roaring knight is referred to as “咆哮の騎士” (houkou no kishi), the knight of the roaring. the word for the roaring itself, 咆哮, means roar or scream. which eliminates the alternate meaning of roaring (also being possibly defined as the sound of rushing water), but that probably doesn’t solidify “roaring” as solely meaning that. there are a lot of terms in undertale that had multiple meanings, but had to be changed to have only one in the japanese localization. “roaring” might be similar to those instances.

angel

spamton calls noelle an angel just like in english, referring to her as “angel-chan”. if there’s somehow anyone out there that didn’t think that line was important, i am here to prove you wrong!!!

more interesting:

this is the line where noelle says that if this was a dream, she would grow wings and fly away— but in this version, she says “big angel wings” specifically. very interesting!

the two (2) other notable changes in weird route

the infamous “you whispered noelle’s name…” line is slightly different. slightly.

the “kris called for help” lines still say that kris is the one doing it, but this one does not say the subject at all. this is normal for japanese, regardless, it’s still very interesting that it doesn’t say “you”. it is still differentiated from the “kris” lines, but not specifically referring to you (the player).

the other difference is so minor that i’m not even sure what it is or if it’s different from the english version.

translation

EVEN IF YOU [Shout] AT THE [Receiver]

YOUR [Voice] WILL EVENTUALLY WITHER

YOUR [Voice]

THEIR [Voice]

AND YOU WILL realize you’re alone.

i do not know who “THEY” is that spamton’s referring to. the term he uses is gender-neutral and singular. is he talking about the player? idfk probably not

miscellaneous spamton-related stuff

spamton’s speech patterns are entirely different in the japanese translation, but they get the same message across. they include:

switching between formal and informal language

using weird mixtures of hiragana, katakana, english letters and kanji

using katakana re (レ) instead of hiragana shi (し)

cutting off words

random spacing

and occasionally using “die” and “death” as homophones for “dai” and “desu”

it’s so wacky and unnerving and strange, i love it :D

other spamton lore bits:

mike’s name is the same (マイク maiku). i somehow forgot to translate the mike-related dialogue. i will get back to you all if there’s anything of note.

the word for “garbage noise” is 雑音, with about the same meaning. unsurprisingly, the same word (the exact same phrase, in fact) is used for both the addison’s line and the gaster phone call line.

the last thing (i think)

in the roaring cutscene, the japanese word for “chaos” is said (in the “all will be plunged into chaos” line), but then says the transliterated version of the word (カオス) in parentheses. tsuwahasu noted that it’s “keyword-like” in the playthrough i watched. is this important? i have no idea

i’m sure there are things that i missed here, so (again) if you want to know about something, don’t be afraid to ask!! the jp version of deltarune should be looked at a lot more—not just for the lesser-known lore tidbits, but also for the cool stuff that was changed to fit the language. it’s a really cool localization!

Said Snape…

An analysis inspired by my username :)

There are about 300* times in the series that Snape’s delivery of dialogue contains additional descriptives beyond “said”, giving us insight into his tone. I thought it might be interesting to take a look at what this can tell us about Snape’s character. And if you’re a fic writer looking to have your Snape reflect canon!Snape as much as possible (or even if not, and you’re looking to make choices that will distinguish him from canon!Snape), I figured this might be a helpful resource.

[Adverbs] Snape says things…

...softly or quietly, most often, followed by coldly, coolly, or icily, and then smoothly, silkily, or sleekly.

This trend holds when we look across not just adverbs modifying “said” but all verbs of speech. Here's how those descriptors are used across the books in the series:

And here's what that looks like split up by the different eras in Snape's life:

Snape is most often described as saying things “repressively” or “dismissively” as well as “calmly”, “slowly”, or “deliberately” in his double agent days, which are adverbs that convey a certain amount of control over the conversation, information, and his own temperament. Taken together, this may reflect his increased caution and the high-stakes nature of information at this stage.

Although Snape displays little patience for those not at his level even in his teenage years (“just shove a bezoar down their throats” comes to mind), his dialogue only reflects this with adverbs such as “sharply” or “curtly” once he has established himself as an authority figure. We will see a similar pattern below with verbs and adjectives conveying impatience.

[Verbs] When Snape doesn’t simply “say” something, he…

...Most often is expressing a negative emotion: shouting, yelling, bellowing or snarling and spitting. The largest portion of Snape’s shouts occur in HBP, specifically in Flight of the Prince, as he tries to direct the Death Eaters to leave and faces Harry. But looking across these first two emotionally-charged categories, about 30% of these (perhaps not surprisingly) occur in Prisoner of Azkaban, where Snape is spends a notable chunk of the book in an extremely emotional state.

However, he's not always shouting or snarling; approximately 15% of the time when he is not simply speaking, he is whispering or hissing, which complements the 25% of the time that he is speaking softly or quietly.

Let's look at this in relation to Snape's timeline:

It's fitting that the majority of Snape’s inquiries occur after Voldemort’s return, when he returns to his double agent role, gathering intelligence.

I also think it’s interesting what we don’t see in Snape’s school days. In childhood/school there’s relatively little superciliousness—instead, we see more argumentation; Snape argues, demands, pants, splutters, and backtracks.

Snape’s brand of snippy impatience and condescension (sneered/snarled/snapped, etc) is most evident in his days as a professor (before Voldemort’s return through his years as a double agent). In his deep cover years it declines; he no longer has the time and he’s focused on the task at hand.

Let's now look at the adjectives used to describe Snape's tone. Snape says things in a tone of voice that is…

...Most often soft, low, or quiet, followed by cold or icy, and then by sneering or sardonic. I find it fitting that Snape’s tone is described as impatient in GOF and HBP, both books in which Snape spends the year on tenterhooks, waiting for the axe to fall.

When we look at how these adjectives are distributed across Snape's lifetime, we can see that Snape’s vocalizations described as “terrible” only three times, and they occur at pivotal moments: Lily’s death and his own. Additionally, Snape’s unconcerned or bored tone comes out during his double agent years, and 3 out of the 4 times it is used as an affectation.

Misc. notes: It is also notable when there are a lack of descriptors surrounding Snape’s speech altogether. There are definitely fewer in the first two books, likely given their shorter length and lower reading level. However, there are three moments in Deathly Hallows that, taken together, really stood out to me: The Dark Lord Ascending, Voldemort’s visit to Hogwarts to take the Elder Wand, and Snape’s meeting with Voldemort in the Shrieking Shack (no descriptions of speech besides "blankly", up until the moment of Snape’s murder, during which he protests and lets out a terrible scream). The lack of description of Snape's speech is a neat nonverbal way to convey to us readers the flattening effect of Occlumency.

Anyway, hope this was interesting, and I’d absolutely love to hear any additional insights you all pull out of this!

*This is by no means meant to be the definitive, exhaustive analysis of Snape’s speech. This was completed doing simple searches for dialogue with “Snape” (didn’t have the raw text to write a script or anything), so it’s entirely possible that I’ve missed several instances of Snape speaking when referred to as “he” and the dialogue in question is several lines away from his name. However, I believe those cases are relatively few, so I’m fairly confident that I have a majority of the instances in which Snape’s dialogue is described with an adverb, adjective denoting tone, or with a verb other than “said”. It’s likely the remainder would follow similar trends if they are dispersed sporadically throughout the series.

MASTERPOST

of that one comic

Or that one part of that comic I keep sorta continuing

"Harry described how the figures that had emerged from the wand had prowled the edges of the golden web, how Voldemort had seemed to fear them, how the shadow of Harry's father had told him what to do, how Cedric's had made its final request. At this point, harry found he could not continue." - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

severus snape fic recs

my personal favs

Young Snape:

a life of smoke and silvered glass: Slight AU in which Severus apologizes, tries harder, and stays friends with Lily. Severus doesn't become a Death Eater because he believes in it, Jily get married. Sweet, slightly sad ending. (So cute).

Falling Apart: Time travel fic, no pairings, Severus goes back to when James levicorpused him. (I loved this, I loved how Mary was included and Avery had a redemption arc. Severus never calls Lily mudblood.)

in glory and in ruin: Mulciber/Snape but it's not a main part of it. Basically, a Triwizard Tournament in between the school houses, and Severus gets chosen even though he's only 16. The Marauders and Lily aren't really in it, focuses on Snape's Gang, Charity and Aurora. WIP, and I LOVE it!

The Gryffindor Sort: WIP. Long. In which Severus is a Gryffindor, Lupin is hiding something, Potter and Black are the worst, and there's a Wizarding War about to erupt.

Severus and the Marauders: Long. What if instead of being insulted and excluded from the group, Severus was embraced instead. After all, it was the actions of the group that shaped history from the sidelines. So what if they shaped history a little differently?

That Awful Snape Boy: It had all happened on Wednesday 3rd of September 1973; Minerva committed the date to memory. She would always be amazed that this discussion could happen in the first place. If the boy hadn’t been unconscious, would they even have learnt anything before it was too late?

The Unwanted Boy From Spinner's End: Severus Snape’s existence is a mistake. His mother hints at it often enough with her regretful, drawn-out sighs, while his father prefers to get the message across with a good strapping and a lecture on his worthlessness. Needless to say, the twelve-year-old is not particularly inclined to trust adults, no matter how concerned or caring they claim to be. His life changes abruptly, however, one late evening in September when an illicit brewing session results in a forced trip to the Hogwarts infirmary. Not only is the truth about Severus' home life discovered, but an investigation reveals that shortly prior to his mother’s unexpected death, a single piece of parchment was deposited into her Gringotts vault—a Last Will and Testament in which Eileen Snape née Prince grants guardianship of her son to none other than Albus Dumbledore himself.

To Recollect the Future: Hindsight is 20/20, but when Harry's last steps into the forest set him back further than he'd ever thought, he never realised how grateful he'd be to have Snape there to help too.

Severus' choice: How one choice changed history's course, or the life of Severus Snape from Hogwarts to adulthood if characters were less caricatural, and Voldemort and the Death Eaters were more than bogeymen. This is an AU, events before and after may differ from the books.

the lost generation: The Marauders era at Hogwarts, Voldemort's rise to power and the subsequent war, family loyalties and dishonour, and the struggles of friendship in a difficult time.

Snily:

Come Once Again and Love Me: My favourite Snily fic ever. Snape and Lily time travel back from their individual deaths to when they were still at Hogwarts. Realistic-Lily misses James and Harry and their falling in love is slow burn too. Made me want to cry. I almost liked James!

The Fields of Summer: Short and sad. His past was bleeding into the present, just as his future was bleeding out of the gaping wound in his neck. And since memories were useless to a dead man, Snape plucked them out of his mind and gave them to The Boy Who Lived. He didn’t realize that in so doing, he’d forget her.

seventeen moons: After the werewolf prank. Severus was bitten and Lily figures it out. I hated Sirius so much and he was barely in it but he wasn't villainised-it's just the consequences of his own actions.. Loved the Snily! Short.

Surprising Lessons: Tensions run high between the students of Hogwarts in the time when Severus Snape, Lily Evans, and the Marauders are teenagers. New spells are invented, insults are traded, new bonds form, and unexpected support blooms. Short and sweet.

Vox Severus: SO cute. When Severus Snape's voice changes in fourth year, everyone notices.

Ambiguous: Order member Lily did not have a baby. Death Eater Severus did not hear a prophecy. Consequently, the Dark Lord did not fall. ...but what happens when a long forgotten prophecy suddenly shakes, and flashes through the colours of the spectrum..?

Switching Wands: Severus and Lily acted as best friends should and talked about the Whomping Willow incident. Lily is less than impressed with Potter’s behaviour from that point onward.

Her Slytherin, His Gryffindor: Lily has had enough of James' bullying ways, so she decides to finally take advantage of her Prefect status. Or, in another universe, Lily helps Severus, and they become even closer.

Sweet Root: Lily decides to get Severus drunk one summer night. Angst thereby incurred happily resolves itself into, uh, happiness.

You Don't Bug Me: “Is there any reason you’re half naked in my room?”

Snape/Sirius:

Two Sides: A time travel fic where Severus and Sirius find themselves back on the evening before they graduated Hogwarts. With no idea how and why that happened, they set out to get back to their respective timelines. After all, Sirius has to save Harry at the Minstry of Magic, and Severus needs to tell Potter about the final Horcrux. Right? Too bad that they find themselves back on that evening over and over again. (Personal thoughts: I loved this one, very in character and I loved how they 'fixed' their regrets of the past).

Broken Me Found Broken You: It’s determined that Severus Snape and Sirius Black are immune to punishment after years of near-fatal pranks, bullying, and homemade curses. The only person who thinks them capable of ending the feud and finishing their education is Professor McGonagall. For the summer of ‘77, she gives them a pair of charmed hand mirrors and an ultimatum: communicate. That’s it, a mere ten minutes every Saturday. Back at Hogwarts, when their animosity proves insurmountable, Sirius and Severus are relegated to a small, Eighth Year dormitory. The tight quarters—wandless—are intended to force them to make a peaceful reconciliation, but peace is impossible with a bloody war ramping up inside and outside the castle.

Sorry: Sirius Black decides to make amends for the horrid way he treated Snape when they were teenages. Snape is less than amenable to the idea. (Written around the time of book three/four). Basically, Sirius apologises a lot. And then some fucking.

The Sin in Your Grin (And the Shape of Your Mouth): The Order needed Sirius, but he doubted they'd mourn him very long when he finally disappeared. The first Wizarding war, Snape and Sirius are fucking. Sirius thinks Remus is the spy, Severus tells him otherwise. Canon-compliant: James and Lily die, Peter is the spy. The last line. Shaking.

Dead Reckoning: Severus Snape delivers a potion to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, holding a twenty-year-old grudge in his heart. He has yearned for revenge for so long—and he will have it. Along with something else he did not ask for.

Beyond The Veil: In one world, Sirius Black ignored Severus Snape's warning and went to the Department of Mysteries to save his godson's life. He died and went beyond the veil. In another world, Sirius Black stayed back. This made all the difference. An AU where Sirius Black survived and now knew Severus Snape's deepest secret.

Rings And Ringing Bells: A bastardisation of a traditional love story. Two men both broken by the world are at wit’s end trying not to kill each other. There’s Severus, a bitter insult who does not take fools lightly, and Sirius, a drunkard who has a habit of pressing his buttons. It involves a curse which forces them to get married, an immaculate conception, and the blurring of the line between hate and love. They fear that they have no control over their lives and are doomed to make the mistakes their parents had done before them. They’re not good for each other, but the fiasco that is their romance may be enough to teach them how to hate each other and themselves a little less.

Always (Come For Me): Snape might have been lying when he said Sirius Black wasn't punished for the prank he had pulled on him. It all started with Sirius having to live with the Snapes for the remainder of his summer...

An Interlude: Set during Order of the Phoenix. Snape comes across Black looking through some of his old school things. Memories are stirred up, grudges are held, old conflicts refuse to be resolved, and new ground might be (dis)covered. A series of conversations in the year before a death.

bite your tongue, go to the funeral: A funeral, a departure, a chance encounter, a war, a funeral (again), a snide remark, and a revival.

Two Boys Kissing: Sirius goes to a gay bar and meets the last person he expects. Under cloudy skies, two boys kiss and that one moment comes to define generations of want, need and hope.

An Occlument Heart: Snape knows that, usually, keeping a secret is the bravest thing you can do. But sometimes the bravest thing is to tell one. Complete. Canon (more or less) up to the start of Book 5, when this story begins.

Found in the Moments Between the Search: When Sirius returns from beyond the Veil with knowledge of Voldemort's Horcruxes, he takes on the task of finding and destroying them. Somewhere along the way he finds an unexpected ally and perhaps something more. (AU from the end of OotP, takes place during HBP period)

Walking the Monochrome: That’s what being a dog is like – it's like you’re walking the very edge of the world, where almost all colour has run out, and you know that should you miss a step, you’ll fall off that edge... Then again, you already know all about it. The edge and the falling.” AU of the first war.

Second Life: What happens when two men are given a second chance.

The Welcoming Feast: Severus opened his eyes and he was suddenly inside Grimmauld Place. His hand flew to his neck. He remembered Nagini biting him, Potter coming to him and then he closed his eyes, expecting death, but instead he was back here.

The Devil-and-All to Pay: Albus Dumbledore is mad. Severus is sure of it, when the old man sends him to persuade Sirius Black to come back to England and let the Order use his family home as headquarters. The problem, as always, is that Severus cannot say no.

Black Out: Snape and Black try something they have never done before. Talking.

eighty-twenty: In seventh year James left Severus for Lily. Best choice he could have ever made. It never would have worked out. Besides, he and Lily are married now, she's pregnant with his soon to be child and Severus...Severus is with Sirius.

First and Last and Always: Severus had his wand. He swallowed hard. His wand. Magic. His only defense, because Black outweighed him by at least three stone. But magic was more than enough. Severus had never needed physical prowess. His magical strength, and the keenness of his mind, gave him the advantage. Except when it didn’t.

Visions of Doom: Severus gets injured in the shrieking shack (his fifth year). While unconscious he witnesses some scenes from his future and realizes becoming a death eater wouldn’t bring him power and glory but pain and servitude. He spends the rest of his schooling trying to shape a different future for himself.

Anything by FabulaRasa on AO3.

Remus/Snape:

Fuel the Pyre of Your Enemies: A paired class assignment for Astronomy incites a mutually beneficial agreement between Remus Lupin and Severus Snape. An exploration of sexuality and friendships. (One of my favourite Snupin fics, really realistic. Also no evil!peter).

where the wolfsbane blooms: Remus and Severus friendship, and then more. 7000 words-short but sweet. Severus tries to cure the lycanthropy. James is constantly befuddled.

Have Your Cake and Eat It: Remus POV. Long. Incredible. Changed my world view. I cried with Remus at the end. Still kind of happy! Time travel fic. Remus lives. Realistic for the characters and especially for the seventies (although lowkey Remus is too woke for the nineties why does he know the word heteronormative). I loved Sirius in this one. Lying in hospital after the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus Lupin has a lovely lucid dream that he's gone back to his school days at Hogwarts. Only the day passes, then another, and another, and soon he must face the terrifying possibility that it isn't a dream — that he has irreparably altered the events of the past. Cunegonde is SO good!

DELOCAPONUM: 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟏. A new acquaintance to the territory of teaching, an old friend to grief and misfortune, and entirely off on the wrong foot, twenty-one-year-old Professor Severus Snape reverts to an old charm of his — a charm for things that are lost — in attempt to find the one book in which he wrote it. But when the spell starts working against him and mysterious things start happening to his own students, it seems he has no choice but to form an alliance with an old schoolyard enemy in order to find a culprit, a book, and his own identity. And one thing is for certain: the irritating charm of Remus Lupin is nearly impossible to refuse.

Creature Comforts: A classic! Remus and Severus are paired to work together in Care of Magical Creatures in 6th year. Neither one is too happy with the arrangement at first.

That Awful Boy: CLASSIC! Severitus. Petunia lets slip a twenty-year-old secret, and Harry is sent to Spinner's End to study Occlumency early. Severus Snape can see no way in which this could end in catastrophe.

Not Really Here: After the werewolf prank, Severus disappears. He’s still at Hogwarts—at least, he thinks he is—and he’s probably still alive, but no one can see or hear him. Except for Lupin. Remus, meanwhile, is avoiding the other Marauders—as well as everyone else—and Snape becomes the sole exception to his self-appointed isolation. As they work together to look for answers about Severus’ condition, the unlikely pair drift toward friendship. But building a relationship of any kind presents a challenge when neither of them is sure Severus exists at all. I've only read this once but I love it. No Marauders bashing, but no pretending they're saints either. And they have a pretty big part but obvs Snupin is at the forefront.

The Heir to the House of Prince: Harry is the main character and the main ship is Harry and Theo. While Snupin is secondary it's pretty central. Summer of 4th year and Harry's all alone, dealing with his grief and the sudden revelation that James Potter is not his father. Support comes in a strange form. The form of Theo Nott, son of a death Eater. A strange friend who says he'll help him find his true father, whoever this Lord Prince might be. Technically Snily ig? But not really.

Sight Unseen: After losing his sight during the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus struggles to adjust to his new circumstances; when depression threatens to overwhelm him, he receives unexpected assistance from an unknown source.

The Other Side of The Mirror: In sixth year, Remus Lupin nearly killed Severus Snape in wolf form. Miraculously, Severus escaped unharmed. But what if he hadn't?

The Meaning of Mistletoe: What was going on was that Severus Snape had no trouble tracking down one Petunia Evans, now Dursley, to a little town in Surrey where he saw how exactly she was treating her nephew. Which somehow led to last night and Severus knocking on Lupin’s door with a toddler half-asleep in his arms.

Spymaster: Former spymaster and one time headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Severus Snape left the house just once a week on a Tuesday. Wherein Snape wears tracksuit pants and smokes too many cigarettes and Lupin is into it.

Well They're No Friends Of Mine: Whenever his friends pull a prank on Snape, Remus always looks the other way. But what if there's another option?

The Other Side of the Mirror: I haven't read this, but it's a 'what if Remus bit Snape.' 60000 words.

Artemisa Absinthium: The Rat and the Snake: AU set during the First Wizarding War. Severus has defected from the Dark Lord, and become a double agent for Dumbledore. When he learns of an informant it sends the Order into disaray. Can he uncover the identity of the traitor before his own true loyalty is revealed? What price is he willing to pay for his redemption? And can a man like Severus Snape ever be worthy of love?

Capnolagnia: Three times Remus caught Severus Snape smoking.

About Wolves and Snakes: Unfinished. Remus Lupin woke up being fifteen years old again, having no idea how or why. Upon learning that he could not return, he decided that he would try to change the way things happened.

One Thousand Galleons: It's been six years since Remus Lupin, age 25, left England after the death of his father and the slow dissolving of his friendship with the Marauders. A letter from James finds him in Canada at an opportune time, asking him to come home to meet his soon-to-be-born son. Remus never expected that his time away would give him the perfect resume for teaching at Hogwarts, nor did he expect that his return would spark both conflict and resolution. If only he could get the Potion's Professor to understand how sorry he is for the way things turned out. “What is the price for your forgiveness?” --- “One Thousand Galleons.”

Living Legend: Marauders-era fic, Snape decides he needs some "hands-on" experience and chooses Remus as his very special study partner. But there's more to these extracurricular activities than meets the eye.

Lily's Boy: With help from unexpected places, Harry starts on a journey to end the war, and reshape the wizarding world. With how much he looks like James Potter, people have forgotten one important thing about him - he is Lily Evans' son, and she was one hell of a witch. Side Snupin.

It's Not Over Til It's Done: Unfinished. Severus did not expect to survive the Second Wizarding War, but survive he did. Remus didn't either, yet due to unforeseen circumstances, Remus finds himself taking care of Severus in the wake of surviving Nagini's venom.

Ten Aprils: Severus must find a way for Harry to defeat Voldemort. Remus must find a way for Severus to free himself from the past. The Dark Lord is about to attack Hogwarts, and Harry needs to get over his rage, hate and despair in order to learn to summon the phoenix needed to defeat Voldemort. Snape must find the answers, then teach Harry how. In the next thirty minutes. Like it would ever happen.

A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love: A story in which Severus Snape is unable to sleep; a certain werewolf is impersonating Celestina Warbek and cauldrons are used as prevention, sort of.

the week that changed it all: It’s Christmas break in Remus’ 6th year of Hogwarts. Sadly, his parents aren’t home so he has to stay over at Lily’s house for the week. He makes a discovery he didn’t know was possible. The first one was that apparently, Severus lived not far away, the second one was that he started to like the boy.

A Prince By Early Frost: While preparing his chamber for the Philosopher’s Stone, Severus encounters the dark fae borne by a black glass mirror, buried deep beneath the castle. He is chosen, but unsure by what, until over a year later, when a figure from his dreams takes the Defense position, asking for a favor.

Chocolate Cake and Other Intimacies: Remus Lupin is spending his birthday alone in the hospital wing. Severus brings him his homework to cheer him up.

That Awful Snape Boy: It had all happened on Wednesday 3rd of September 1973; Minerva committed the date to memory. She would always be amazed that this discussion could happen in the first place. If the boy hadn’t been unconscious, would they even have learnt anything before it was too late? Guardian fic but Snape is the ward in this one. AU set in the Marauders Era. Rated T to be safe.

Basically anything by McKay on AO3.

Snape/James:

Knowledge of the Gods: Severus was either in a coma and dying, already dead and trapped in some purgatory, completely and utterly insane, or living in the body of his past self. And, perhaps most suspiciously, why did James Potter keep looking at him like that?!

A Touch, A Kiss, A Whisper of Love: After Severus Snape and James Potter find themselves stuck in an awkward detention together, an unlikely friendship forms. As their newfound friendship develops, James discovers something new about himself while Severus tries to fight his growing attraction to the Gryffindor boy.

Cake, Please!: Slight SA gives me the ick, but vaguely fun to read. A story of blackmail, the wonderful world of sexuality, and lots of cake.

Revenge is Sweet: A teenage Snape plots his revenge on James Potter for making his life hell, but little does he know that James has plans of his own that will send both their lives spiraling irrevocably out of control.

Ninety-Three: James promises Severus that if Severus has sex with him 93 times, he will break up with Lilly and advocate that she date Severus.

Absolution: What is it that draws James to Severus? A disease? A curse? A secret wish... a need? Try as he might to ignore the Slytherin, in the end, to Severus is where James always finds himself. **SLOW BUILD** Rated M for... certain kinds of scenes later on.

The Dreamer in the Well: James got the girl....finally. She even stopped being friends with Severus, whom he absolutely hated. But one day, his curiosity changes everything.

Love Is Strange: At the start of his sixth year, James Potter decides to finally stop ruining Severus' life. His friends agree to stop the bullying but what they do not know is the reason why James decided to put an end to it. They think he just matured or grew tired of it but the truth is a little more complicated than that.

A Fickle Thing: James Potter's marriage is failing- What a perfect time to disguise himself as a muggle, follow Severus Snape to what is either a makeshift dance club or a party for gay muggles, and then do a series of things he really should not do.

Rise: Severus Snape was tired of his fate, to be a lowly snake. Luckily, fate was kind to him this time and the arrival of a tournament had come. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, a moment of weakness and strength that led Severus to put his name in the Goblet of Fire. But he was chosen now, and he had no choice but to play in the game, maybe he will live or die, but either way he wasn't going to become what everyone said he would be.

Apocrypha: Two can keep a secret, if one of the two is dead.

Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown): Long, loved it, well written. James Potter starts his seventh year with a secret. He has amazing friends, Sirius is always right by his side, Lily is finally starting to warm up to him. His life is an endless cycle of partying and drinking. So what if the Wizarding World is on the precipice of war? So what if Severus Snape has disappeared from Hogwarts? That's not James's problem. Life is beautiful, and even if it's all an illusion he wants to hold on to that dream for just a little bit longer.

Colours of Redemption: Severus Snape was meant to die. Instead he was placed into hell. Trapped in timeloops, Severus tries to make sense of the future knowledge he suddenly had. If he made one bad move, everything is reset for him to try again. Being placed into a new house and everyone being nice to him, Severus is doing his best but it is hard. Especially when James Potter is noticing him in a different way.

Goeey Melting Hearts: In their 5th year James, Sirius and Remus over hear a conversation that makes them reconsider their opinions of the ‘future Death Eaters’. The Marauders stop bullying, but guilt eats at James until he decides to apologize. That summer James tracks down Severus, but sees something that crushes him.

Regulus/Snape:

Burning Doves: The first Snape/Regulus I ever read. Regulus needs help with potions and Snape tutors him. Not much Marauders, they're just offscreen assholes. Narcissa and Severus friendship which I always enjoy. It's done, but I haven't finished it yet. Whoops.

Severus and Snape: Severus Snape finds Lily dead in Godric's Hollow, her son's screams echoing in his ears, and decides to end his life with hers. Fate has other ideas. Next thing he knows, he's facing an 11-year-old Lily Evans, on their way to their first year at Hogwarts.

Snape & or / Narcissa:

Seven Days: Severus knows a lot can happen in seven days. Slash.

Living A Lie:  All of her life, Narcissa Black has had to live as the perfect lady, and witch; to never reveal one's inner heart, nor ever go against the wishes of one's family. After being forced into an engagement she does not want during her sixth year at Hogwarts, Narcissa has kept the desires of her heart on ice; particularly, for a wizard her family would never in a million years have approved of: Severus Snape. Even after the birth of her son Draco, she has harbored these desires deep in her heart for the enigmatic Potions Master. But when she comes to Spinners End to ask Severus to watch over Draco at the start of the school term of 1997, she finds that she cannot keep her heart on ice for the wizard of her dreams any longer...

What Lies Beneath: "Please, Professor, I saw him-I saw Snape," Harry said, struggling to breathe, "he's hurt...we've got to find him-we've got to find him right now or he's going to die!" Severus Snape's redemption story told in the span of three books from multiple perspectives.

Snape/Others:

Redemption: Severus died that night at the hands of the Dark Lord, the man he "worked" for and was "loyal", at least that's what the Lord believed him to be, an impeccable servant.  Even so, he ended up dying for his master's snake.  He knew it would happen, he was sure his time was coming, just like the manipulative old goat's plan. However, what would he do when he found out that he wasn't the only one who had the memories of his past life?  How would his life turn out?  Better or worse?

Breaking the Mould: Everyone knew Severus' future. Everyone knew he'd become a death eater, maybe get his mastery in potions and eventually die at his master's hand. But what if they didn't know Severus as well as they thought they did? Rather than conform to the role people expected him to play, Severus takes action. During 6th year he leaves Hogwarts, joining an apprenticeship overseas that guarantees not only a future but his own happiness. Meanwhile the Marauders (minus Peter) are left regretting what can never be. They each had a secret, something none of them were willing to admit. Only now it's too late. But what happens when Severus re-emerges during the war? Not a death eater, not a teacher even. But a strong, independent and most importantly a free man. How will the marauders react?

Dinner and a Show: James takes Lily out to dinner, an unhappy evening made more difficult by the arrival of Severus and Lucius Malfoy at a nearby table.

Snape & Others: 

O Mine Enemy: Severitus, long. When Harry finds an injured Snape on his doorstep and must hide him from the Dursleys, he has no idea that this very, very bad day will be the start of something good. Alternate 6th summer (and part of the school year): post-OotP; ignores HBP and DH. No slash, no romance. NOW COMPLETE!

I Know Not, and I Cannot Know; Yet I Live and I Love: Severus Snape has his emotions in check. He knows that he experiences anger and self-loathing and a bitter yearning, and that he rarely deviates from that spectrum… Until the first-year Luna Lovegood arrives to his class wearing a wreath of baby’s breath. Over the next six years, an odd friendship grows between the two, and Snape is not sure how he feels about any of it.

Second Life: What happens when two men are given a second chance. Snape & Sirius. 

Not Entirely Tedious: Young Professor Severus Snape shows up for a meeting, but the only other person there is the Deputy Headmistress. He wants to leave and return later, after the other participants will have arrived, but Professor McGonagall explains why that is impossible. Cross about having his plans for the day disrupted for a meeting that’s not taking place, Snape resents having to spend the afternoon with McGonagall. She doesn’t seem very pleased, either, but is content to relax and wait. Snape isn’t so patient, and soon manages to annoy his companion.

The Young Potions Professor: The staff avoided him like the plague, ignored him, or straight up left when he went into the staff room. And the worst thing was that they didn't even try to hide their collective disgust for him. If he got into the staff room in the morning and any of them were there, they would immediately get up and go sit on the furthest side of the room, as far from him as possible.

Slytherin Career Day: The student of Slytherin House were born with everything: wealth, prestige and pure wizarding blood. Now it's Severus Snape's job to help them find the one thing they don't have: careers.

In Another Lifetime: HP AU. In a world where Tom Riddle was slaughtered, the wizarding wars did not occur, and Albus Dumbledore promoted peace in Hogwarts, Lily Evans and Severus Snape did the impossible: they remained lifelong friends. Snape meets his potential, and has a shot at happiness along the way.

immortalists with points to prove: The Snape kid is hardly a hero. Then again, neither is Alastor.

Friendly reminder that Snape probably got tortured while being interrogated at the end of GoF, in order to re-establish his position as a spy. In the graveyard, Voldemort says “One, too cowardly to return … he will pay. One, who I believe has left me forever … he will be killed, of course … and one, who remains my most faithful servant, and one who has already re-entered my service.”. The first is Karkakoff, the last is Barty Crouch Jr, and the one who would be killed is…Snape.

Voldy knew that Snape had thwarted him on the Stone. He Crucio-d Avery simply for failing to search for him after his disappearance. In HBP Snape mentions Voldemort’s “Initial displeasure” (bit of an understatement). In GoF, Dumbledore says “Severus, you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready … if you are prepared …” while looking worried, and Snape himself looked “paler than usual”. Do the math, do you think Voldy discussed his concerns over a cup of tea?

So Snape arrived to Voldemort two hours late, same Voldemort who tortures his followers for minor transgressions. Voldemort thought that Snape had betrayed him and was intending to kill him. Snape had years of bullshitting to answer to. He was also around 13 years out of practice doing hardcore Occlumency (he was a spy in the first war for months as well), so think about how fucked he thought he was. And prior to this, he had revealed his Dark Mark to a room full of people, in hopes of getting the MoM to quickly mobilize their forces against the DEs and warning the rest of the WW, even though Voldy wanted to keep low for as long as possible (don’t know if Voldy ever found out about this, but even if he didn’t, it was still a stunning move on Snape’s part considering how fucked he already was).

And despite all of this he willingly returned to spy against Voldemort, even though Lily was already dead, and despite it having no personal benefit and a shit ton of danger for him. Dumbledore gave him a choice in GoF timeline, asking him if he intended to flee if Voldemort returned (since Karkakoff would) and Snape replied “I am not such a coward”. If all of the above isn’t a testament to his bravery and his skills as an Occlumens, then I don’t know what is (aside from spying against a mind-reading psychopath in general, saving people while spying, agreeing to kill DD and making himself a pariah, protecting the school while still being a spy, and passing on the keys to killing Voldy to Harry as he died, ya those were also very brave).

HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE HOLY SHIT WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SNAPE ANALYSIS

Let me get this straight:

Severus Snape, who's probably one of the most fleshed out characters in the franchise is reduced to an obsessive friendzoned stalker but Regulus Black, who's a literal one note character is given depth and personality??

Am I tripping on acid or something??

Here’s a treasure trove of metas and pro-Snape arguments, created by myself and @snapedefense years ago: https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1rhXsQexRncfA00b0CA9Dy59-T5hrtgkqbEb41pLU-YI/mobilebasic

The LJ metas are particularly high quality

A complex and many-layered thing

But Harry’s anger at Snape continued to pound through his veins like venom. Let go of his anger? He could as easily detach his legs. . . .

This is the first Occlumency lesson. Harry is right, of course. Feelings don’t go away because you want them to. To let go of them when they’ve not been addressed or validated can be as hard as detaching a leg. And yet, it’s what Dumbledore asked Snape to do, and it’s what Snape had to do to survive the first war as Dumbledore’s spy. You have to ask yourself… how?

Trapped animals chew off their own legs to escape. It’s a sacrifice they make to survive.

If there’s one thing in a fic that turns me off it, it’s the idea that Occlumency shields are a thing, that Severus was so gifted at it because he’s got some power like Second Sight or being a metamorphagus. I always preferred to think of Occlumency and Legilimency as skills that can be learned, even if some have more aptitude for it than others.

Severus entered Hogwarts with the kind of life experience that primed him for developing these skills, and left it with even more. Occlumency is magical dissociation, a post-traumatic coping mechanism, and Severus has C/PTSD. More under the cut; tw: just general angst.

To survive, he would have had to develop a knack for telling how explosive and unpredictable people feel. Over his life, he faced at least two egregious examples of what Pete Walker, author of “Complex PTSD” calls “the Charming Bully”.

Especially devolved fight types can become sociopathic. Sociopathy can range along a continuum that stretches from corrupt politician to vicious criminal. A particularly nasty sociopath, who I call the charming bully, probably falls somewhere around the middle of this continuum. The charming bully behaves in a friendly manner some of the time. He can even occasionally listen and be helpful in small amounts, but he still uses his contempt to overpower and control others. This type typically relies on scapegoats for the dumping of his vitriol. These unfortunate scapegoats are typically weaker than him. […] He generally spares his favorites from this behavior, unless they get out of line. If the charming bully is charismatic enough, those close to him will often fail to register the unconscionable meanness of his scapegoating. The bully’s favorites often slip into denial, relieved that they are not the target. Especially charismatic bullies may even be admired and seen as great.

These would be James Potter and Tom Riddle, who are distantly related, I might add. Harry inherited the tendency to default to the fight response, but since he grew up the scapegoat and not the golden child, he never becomes quite as appalling, and after all, a fight response is normal when they are after you. Even so, Harry, who has both James and Voldemort inside him, triggers Severus to no end. It’s not a coincidence that the memories Harry sees when he is with him are largely horrible, and vice versa. There had to be happy or at least neutral or even boring moments, but these two detest each other, and they know they detest each other. Negative emotions and associated memories are so close to the surface they can’t be contained. This is the purpose of the Pensieve in this context - to contain the emotions. Since Severus knew what was in there when he pulled Harry out, my theory is that you don’t suddenly forget the memories you placed there, but rather you make them less fraught with emotions.

“Get up!” said Snape sharply. “Get up! You are not trying, you are making no effort, you are allowing me access to memories you fear, handing me weapons!”

Harry stood up again, his heart thumping wildly as though he had really just seen Cedric dead in the graveyard. Snape looked paler than usual, and angrier, though not nearly as angry as Harry was. “I — am — making — an — effort,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I told you to empty yourself of emotion!”

“Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,” Harry snarled.

“Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!” said Snape savagely. “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!”

A lot to unpack here.

“Memories you fear,” “weapons”, “easy prey”.

Fearing your own memories, viewing your own lived experiences as weapons to be used against you, being easy prey… Severus could not be speaking louder of himself here. He is the one whose mind had been penetrated with absurd ease, he is the one who handed weapons to Voldemort, and he is the one who had to do the psychological equivalent of detaching his own leg – again and again – to survive.

I’ll argue that Severus developed a fawn response and a flight response, as fighting had never really worked out for him if it was possible at all. He had at least two more people I’d describe as bullies in his life, Tobias and Lucius.

Again from Pete Walker:

These [fawn] response patterns are so deeply set in the psyche, that as adults, many codependents automatically respond to threat like dogs, symbolically rolling over on their backs, wagging their tails, hoping for a little mercy and an occasional scrap. Webster’s second entry for fawn is: “to show friendliness by licking hands, wagging its tail, etc.: said of a dog.” I find it tragic that some codependents are as loyal as dogs to even the worst “masters”.

Remember what Sirius called him? Lucius’s lapdog. Bellatrix called him Dumbledore’s pet, Dumbledore said he dangles on Voldemort’s arm, the narrative compares Snape to a rabbit in SWM and Harry compares the Half Blood Prince to a beloved pet who had gone feral (yes, this does mean a lot to me on a personal level, yes my username is not a coincidence).

His unconscious fawn response might have been his undoing, drawn as he was to figures like Lucius and Voldemort. As an adult, I think he utilized the skills he had developed to survive in order to stitch these people up, and involuntary dissociation and fawning became Occlumency, which to me, is his signature magic. Harry needed only to banish Voldemort from his mind; Severus could not settle for this. He had to give Voldemort something, and knowing how to fawn meant knowing what to give him and how to draw himself in such a light that Voldemort would believe it. We see how he wanted to be seen by the Death Eaters: a self-serving coward who sought to hide behind Dumbledore’s apron, playing his pet. But that’s Pettigrew, not Snape. Imagine the self-immolation, the self-violation, it must have taken to convince everyone that you’re an ersatz Wormtail! Snape is a man and a prince, and the text recognizes this as Harry calls him, in the end, Dumbledore’s man, the bravest man, and as that chapter is called “The Prince’s Tale”. Voldemort thought Snape was nothing more than a “good and faithful servant,” and that his last words were “My Lord”.

But Severus had an unequaled gift for Occlumency, specifically against Voldemort, because Voldemort could not legilimens what he couldn’t feel; and he couldn’t feel love, grief, guilt, and remorse. This was Severus’s secret weapon, which would not have worked against Harry - who can feel these things, and who is also Lily’s son. I can prove it. The first time Harry gets the hang of Occlumency is after Dobby dies:

His scar burned, but he was master of the pain; he felt it, yet was apart from it. He had learned control at last, learned to shut his mind to Voldemort, the very thing Dumbledore had wanted him to learn from Snape. Just as Voldemort had not been able to possess Harry while Harry was consumed with grief for Sirius, so his thoughts could not penetrate Harry now, while he mourned Dobby. Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out . . . though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love. . . .

Harry learned to dissociate, though fortunately in a healthier way than many of us ever get to.

Of course, Snape was a good and faithful servant… to Dumbledore, which brings us to the flight response. The chapter wherein he escapes after killing Dumbledore is called “Flight of the Prince”. He should be fighting, he had just proven that he can cast a killing curse, and yet he flees. He can literally fly, in fact: He, Lily, and Voldemort are the only ones we see pulling this off.

As a child, we see this too: He copes with his home situation by reminding himself “it won’t be long and I’ll be gone.” He is thrilled when he imagines Hogwarts, his escape; he follows Lily out of the carriage instead of confronting James and Sirius head-on (which might have saved them all a lot of pain eventually). But this doesn’t work out, we see that in terrifying detail. The next attempt at an escape is joining the Death Eaters, but this too doesn’t work out.

He can’t flee anymore.

“Severus, you cannot pretend this isn’t happening!” Karkaroff’s voice sounded anxious and hushed, as though keen not to be overheard. “It’s been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can’t deny it —”

“Then flee,” said Snape’s voice curtly. “Flee — I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts.”

Shortly thereafter:

“Severus,” said Dumbledore, turning to Snape, “you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready . . . if you are prepared . . .”

“I am,” said Snape.

He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely.

He was ready, and he was prepared. He didn’t fly; he walked toward what might well have been his end with open eyes, armed only with the strength of his mind. Before Voldemort killed him, he looked pale, again, and terrified.

“I sought a third wand, Severus. The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore.”

And now Snape looked at Voldemort, and Snape’s face was like a death mask. It was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes.

I ask myself if this was the moment he realized he had been betrayed, that by giving Dumbledore a painless death he had secured his own. Maybe he wasn’t pale because he was scared; maybe he was pale because he was shocked. He was at his absolute limit, Occluding with all his might when he could have easily saved himself. The dam is about to break. All the memories he feared, all the weapons, the entire content of his heart is about to spill through - literally.

He fawned for Voldemort, the worst of all possible masters, but in the end, he was Voldemort’s undoing. All the ways in which he was weak and powerless against Tobias, James, Lucius, et al., proved to be part of goodness and source of his power. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Snape is so loved. I’ve never actually seen such love for any other fictional character. He represents a kind of courage that many of us need to get by, lest we simply become evil or give the fuck up (“I wish I was dead”). A kind of courage rarely celebrated. The more time I’ve spent in the fandom in general and in the Snapedom in particular, the more I am convinced of this.