Yet I Will Keep Trying

Gaviler is now more hated than Moash. Tho I wonder if jasnah will have to work alongside the ghostbloods. It'll be fun to watch Jasnah and Mraize passive aggressively fight for shallan's custody.

No matter what the quiz says. I know that I am a light-weaver. (Even if we discount the artistic ability and multiple voices in the head that we brought into existence. As part of a mental excercise suggested by my therapist)

Because couple of weeks ago, without realizing, swore the first ideal to myself. (Journy before destination is the hardest to put into practice.)

And couple of days ago, admitted the 1st and 2nd truth In a space of couple of days.

Tho the 2nd truth is realized but have yet to put into practice. So more like 1.5 truths?

Stay tuned.

the 'how big is your english vocabulary' test dropped new ship dynamics

I know I should give her

Her space

But how am I supposed to rest

When my heart is trying its hardest

To break out of my ribcage

But I swear this oath today

From now on anything that comes for you

Will break against my flesh

I am always late

But not anymore

How dare I forget what I am for

No more

The wolf is dead

The wolf is dead

The wolf is back

Let's go!!!

When I was young

Alone in my time of need

An angel came to me

He offered to be my shield

If I could show him selfless beauty

So I became an artist

When I got a bit older

In my time of need

I called for the Monster

He offered to keep me sane

if I could help those in need

as an exchange

So I became a listener

When I was at my breaking point

The devil spoke to me

He offered me his silver tongue

In exchange of letting him feel loved

So I became a refuge for all

Then I met you

And i saw tears in your eyes

Came a voice

A feeling blooming

I couldn't deny

If you are to be the moon in the sky

I'd be the darkness by your side

Always in sight but never in reach

So I became a beast

A wolf longing for you for all time

The other three turned to you too

As the world lost meaning

And now you are gone

And we hate everything

How do you tell someone that the reason  

       you are happy is because they texted.

It's so embarrassing how even small words from you make me happy.

I feel so helpless.

I wonder what it will take for you to love me back.

What it would take you to choose me.

But at the end of the day, This isn't something that is in my hand.

Is it love that you are only one I have ever longed for?

Is it love that you are the core of all my happy memories?

If yes,

Then whatever you do,

Whether you choose me or not,

I only ask that you let me love you

Wholeheartedly.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUG NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH ...............................RAGE

Day 2710th of trying to be happy in your happiness

Day 2710 of failure