Being Sensitive Is Such A Fucking Struggle Each Every Waking Moment. Like Wdym I Wanna Cry Because Your

Lips of an Angel

You and Sevika had grown too close for her comfort. You leave and then make the first call to her months later.

Smoke rose from Sevikas lips as she exhaled a deep sign following a drag from her cigarette. The weight in her chest sunk deeper and deeper as she looked out at the night sky. A longing for connection. The same connection she had cut off just a few months prior. Now she had one-night stands with any broad willing to come home with her. The short sex with no meaning. Sevika, holding a woman whose name she has refused to remember. Laying still until a soft snore can be heard so she can get up and sit on the balcony of her apartment looking at the vast nothingness above her.

A vibration in her pocket stopped her thoughts. You. It’s as if Sevika had suddenly lost all of her hearing. Memories flooded her brain. The love. The happiness. The fights. She answered. 

“Honey, why you calling me so late?” Sevika whispered. A rustling coming from the room attached to the patio reminded Sevika that she wasn’t alone. Soft cries coming from the other end of the phone gained her attention. Sevikas eyes widened at the sound. “Honey, why you crying, is everything okay?” 

“Sevika, I miss you.” You hadn’t called since the big fight. Months of hearing nothing made Sevika think you had moved on. Maybe even forgotten about her. The agony of not knowing where you had gone, or who you were staying with.

“It’s really good to hear your voice, saying my name.” Sevika took a breath. A teardrop falling from her chin onto her flesh hand. She hadn’t even noticed she was crying. A rare occasion that Sevika would cry, but it always surprised her when it happened.  “I guess we never really moved on.” A joking tone in the older womens voice. 

A tone shifted. “Moved on? How could I have? I gave every piece of me to you, and yet it wasn’t enough to be in a serious relationship with you.” You took a breath. “I can’t stop dreaming of you. Of you holding me, kissing me. The way you’d wrap your arms around me when we slept. How you’d come home late at night and carry me from the couch to the bed. The way we’d wake up and just stare into each other's eyes for as long as we could without even speaking. I dream of us every night. It haunts me.” When your tangent was done you realize it was your turn to hear sobbing on the opposite line. 

Sevika openly sobbing was a vulnerable thing. Something that you had only witnessed once before. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Was being repeated over and over again. Sevika had shut you out before this moment. She realised that her work was dangerous and tensions were high.

She made it very clear to you that she didn’t want you staying over anymore. So that was the first step, you collected your things and went back to renting a room with your friends. She then started to ignore you when you approached her at The Last Drop. You remember it so clearly. “Just back off.” The words stung as if she had just slapped you across your face. 

The two of you had never disclosed a title to your odd relationship, but domestic it was. Was that what had scared Sevika off? The way you wash her clothes, the way you clean the house and cook her dinner every night. Was Sevika so uncomfortable with the thought of somebody caring so much that it made her shut out the only person in the world she cared about? 

A shaky breath filled the short silence. “Come to me. Tomorrow. I need to see you.” Sevika said.

“Okay.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sooooo this is the first thing I have written in literal years. It's a bit (allot) shaky, but I kept listening to this song and thinking of Sevika!!! If you've read this far THANK YOU and I hope you enjoyed this little blurb I've made. K BYE <3

just wanna show off my jinx nails and my hair with the Arctic Fox Vi hair dye K BYE

i guess i should make an introduction post since i’ve been getting some new friends:

my name is leah, i was born and raised in texas but right now i live in germany. i like to think of myself as a true southern grandma in the body of a 23 year old. i love to craft, specifically sew and crochet.

my main hobbies would probably be working out, crafting, cooking, baking and sometimes cosplaying.

music is a big part of my life. i’ve always loved to learn how to play instruments, and i make poor attempts at singing often. my music taste ranges from ethel cain to tanya tucker, and then a load of numetal and dad rock.

most days i’m not sure of my gender, so what you see is what you think. my sexuality is very fluid; i can call myself a whore so you don’t have to.

i’ll end this by saying that i like dead things and i like things that hurt, so if you have something to share with me tag me :)

a dead mouse and a pretty field i found on my walk today

is it giving ethel cain lol

idk if anyone will even read this

hihihi sooooo i totally ghosted and haven't posted like i said i would. i've been stuck on homework and my son has been tearing my house apart, BUT i am down two glasses of wine and am currently typing a wonderfully angst filled fic about sevika and i am determined to get it done in one sitting !!!

today i told my mom that the little girl i used to hold hands with in elementary school was actually the love of my life and she got so annoyed with me and my teen brother said that was gross. i feel like i’ve disassociated for so long and just woke up in this life that doesn’t make sense to me, and i’ve started to see why i checked out of life at 14.

in desperate need of a sleepy and gropey makeout sesh that ends with me face down ass up while you tease me about how easy it was to make me drip down my thighs

need a diddy freak off fic; except it’s only me, sevika, vi, caitlyn and mel

new animation, this time for arcane! took about a month, so im extra proud with how it came out!! ^^ hope you enjoy!