This Is A Result Of The Inhumane Decisions That Members Of This Administration Want You To Be Silent

i’m sorry for the phone video but prime won’t let me record. but i’m falling apart at the seams over this i really am

Emotional and psychological abuse often go hand in hand to the point where you don’t even notice the person abusing you wasn’t merely ‘hurting your feelings’, but also changed the way you perceive yourself and your surroundings. Psychological abuse doesn’t only break your heart, it puts you in a reality where you’re worth nothing and can’t achieve anything on your own. Constant gaslighting, changing the past, convincing you of your own incapability and the cruelty of the world, is not only hurtful, it’s brainwashing. It can make you feel endangered, cornered and wondering if you’re insane.

This isn’t something small you could brush over, and it isn’t done to you when you’re in your full strength, this is done to you when you’re at your most vulnerable, most trusting and defenseless. There is nobody fully resistant to it, and nobody who could get out of that unscathed. Psychological abuse will make you blame yourself, hate yourself, ask your own self what is wrong with you, and the emotions will follow, making you ashamed, guilty, desperate, hopeless. You will find yourself living in environment where you’re powerless, unimportant, not taken seriously, not even heard if you try to voice your pain and anger. It will make you try thousand different ways to make it better, to become someone worthy of attention and care, and when it doesn’t work, you’ll fall depressed, and feel even stronger that everything is your fault somehow.

Psychological abuse might be the most dangerous one, because it will take your life, and your personality away from you. You will not see an exit from a life that breaks you into little pieces every day, you will not even feel as if you deserve any better. You wont even dare to think you could be worth more of that. You will lose sight of everything except whatever it is abuser wants you to think and believe, you will be reduced to merely surviving and not knowing what happiness even is. That is devastating for any person to go thru. It’s cruel, dehumanizing and torture to inflict on a human being. If this is what you’re recovering from, you can feel the extent of which your own life was taken away and broken into pieces for someone else to use. It’s revolting. It’s comparable to being held hostage against your will. It’s not a 'lesser’ type of abuse. It’s the worst.

For anyone who wants a free pose-able human reference for drawing

The other day I came across this awesome program by accident (I don’t even remember what I was actually searching for, but on the several times I’ve looked for a program like this I’ve had no luck). It’s cool enough that I wanted to share it.

It’s called DesignDoll (website here) and it’s a program that lets you shape and pose a human figure pretty much however you want.

There’s a trial version with no expiration date that can be downloaded for free, as well as the “pro license” version priced at $79. I’ve only had the free version for two days so far, so I’m not an expert and I haven’t figured out all of the features yet, but I’ve got the basics down. The website’s tutorials are actually pretty helpful for the basics, as well. 

Here’s the page for download, which has a list of the features available in both versions.

There are three features the free version doesn’t have:

Can’t save OBJ files for export

Can’t download models and poses from Doll Atelier (a sharing site for users; note that the site is in Japanese, though)

It can’t load saved files

The third one means that if you make a pose, save it, and close the program, you can’t load that pose/modified model later. You have to start with the default model. I found that out when I tried to load a file from the day before (this is why reading is important…). Whether saving your modifications (and downloading models and poses) is worth $80 is up to you. 

But, the default model is pretty nice and honestly if all you’re looking for is a basic pose reference it should work fairly well as it is. Here’s what it looks like:

There’s a pose tag that lets you drag each joint into place and rotate body parts. The torso and waist can be twisted separately, and it seems like everything pretty much follows the range of movement it would have on an actual human.

Even the entire shoulder area is actually movable along with the joint! See, like how the scapular area of the back raises with the arm:

The morphing tag is one of the coolest features, in my opinion. It lets you pick and choose from a library of pre-set forms for the head, chest, arms, legs, etc. It has some more realistic body shapes in addition to more anime-like ones. Don’t like the options there? Mix a few to get what you want! Each option has a slider that lets you blend as much or as little as you want into the design. 

So you, too, can create beautiful things like kawaii Muscle-chan!!

The scale tag lets you mess with the proportions and connection points of different joints. This feature combined with the morphing feature not only allows more body shape variations, but it also means that you can do things like make a more digitigrade model if you want. (The feet only have an ankle joint, but for regular human poses that’s all that you really need, so whatever.)

Or you can make a weird chubby alien-like thing with giant hands and balloon tiddies if that’s more your thing.

The ability to pose hands to the extent it allows is far more than I could have hoped for from a free program. Seriously, you can change the position of each finger joint individually, as well as how spread out the fingers are from each other. Each crease on the diagram below is a point of movement, and the circles are for spread between fingers. 

And to make it a bit more convenient, there’s a library of pre-set hand poses you can pick from as well, and then change the pose from that if you like. 

In both versions, you can also import OBJ files from other places for the model to hold, like if you wanted to have them hold a sword or something.

Basically, this program is awesome and free and you should totally check it out if you want a good program for creating pose references.

Watching the “you will excel at what you measure” trap devour basic moral practice in real time is fascinating in a terrible kind of way

revisiting the "comics as a self-love exercise" thing i did a few years ago. (u can read the first one here, cw for discussions of death + suicide.)

thank u for hanging in there. u did really good.

💓

reminders for artists

no matter what kind of art you make, whether it be music, paintings, photography, drawings, ceramics, writings, etc. you are an artist.

no matter how often you make art, you are an artist.

no matter your skill level, you are an artist.

no matter how long you've been making art, you are an artist.

no matter how old you are, you are an artist.

no matter how long it takes you to complete an artwork, you are an artist.

art is about expression. it isn't a race, competition, or anything like that.

create art that you want to create, as long as it does not harm others.

try not to compare your art to others'. try to instead compare it to your own previous artworks.

congratulate yourself on your progress.

it is okay to take breaks from making art. your health and needs come first.

Kiss Art February // Day 8 : "Shy"

 a lot of cats (and 1 raccoon)

If you really like someone’s art/writing/etc, even if you’re scared to talk to them, tell them. I have really bad anxiety myself, and I’m usually scared to talk to people I like, even online. But when I have actually worked up the nerve to tell someone I like their work, literally every time the person has been nice, and even thankful. Why? Because nothing feels better than to know that someone loves something you created, or that what you made has helped them through a rough time. By telling them what they’ve done for you, you do something for them too!