Can Not Get Over Miss Vanya Hargreeves Having Absolutely No Memories And Then A 15 Year Old In A Terrible

do you guys think mike read bill’s books and saw himself in them? saw the people he loved in them? like. mike reading bill’s books and finding familiar things: a character who watches birds, a character who talks in voices, a brave character with red hair and a gentle touch. it’s a game; where can he find eddie? where can he find ben? where can he find himself? on year twelve, fifteen years before mike gets to see everyone again, bill publishes a book about a group of friends, one of whom is a gentle shepherd. mike cries all night. he reads that book over and over and over. 

he reads bill’s books and they’re terrifying, of course, but they’re also so indescribably bill. so full of love and courage: everyone always fights the monster, even though the characters don’t always win. even though they almost never win. the books feel like home even while they’re horrifying, maybe especially because they’re horrifying.

but mostly they just make him feel less alone.

TW Don’t kill yourself today

Don’t kill yourself today

Because your Netflix trial still has a week left

Don’t kill yourself today

Because no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridge

Don’t kill yourself today

Because I know for a fact that Starbucks is releasing a new Frappuccino sometime next month

Yes, your mother will miss you

Yes your bully will make a sappy Facebook post about how what a a wonderful person you were

And yes

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem

You know that

You’ve known that

Everyone and anyone has been shoving that down your throat since they first learned what the word suicide meant

So don’t kill yourself

Until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time

Don’t kill yourself

Until Doctor Who is finally cancelled

Don’t kill yourself

Until you tell someone your best pasta recipe 

Don’t kill yourself 

Because I will keep coming up with reasons for you not to

And I need you

To hear all of them

Don’t kill yourself

I love you

You’re important

It’s a bad day

Not a bad life

There is more to this

The world will keep spinning on its axis without you

But

Think of all the sunrises you’d miss

I know this sounds pointless

But when you’re sitting in front of everything deadly you own

Revising your goodbyes

There will be too much darkness 

To see anything else

But this is not about seeing anything else

This is about turning off the lights

This is about finding the bed instead of the noose

This is about giving yourself one more day

Even if it takes ten thousand of those

One more morning’s

Until

“I can’t wait for tomorrow”

This is about staying alive

Because there’s gonna be a new Marvel movie

No one should miss that

This is about staying alive

Because the future is coming 

And it’s ready for you

I don’ t need you to see it

I just need you to believe you can make it 

Until then

- Hannah Dains

okay im on anon but only because this take is too hot but; ben is the most shippable loser because everyone is in love with him. mike is a close second but only because the losers met ben first and were already in love with him when they met mike

i sent murryn ( @pattyblumuris ) a screenshot of my inbox yesterday to show her a different ask and the first thing she said was “the second anon [this one] is right and should say it” like before even responding to what the screenshot was about and that pretty much sums up how i feel about this! ben 🤝 mike always (also while we’re on the topic. i KNOW bike is hanbrough but if i ever say bike there’s a 50/50 chance i’m talking abt ben/mike bc their other real option is. men. which is worse i think... recently i’ve been playing with benlon as well)

richie teases ben like. constantly. partially bc he has no filter at times but also partially bc he’s constantly craving ways to express affection whilst deeply afraid of being vulnerable and so he wraps up his truth and affection in amusement, presents in a way that’s easier for him to swallow. and sometimes he thinks ben’s the bravest of them all, because he cares so genuinely and openly and earnestly, and that’s kind of mind-blowing, even if it’s corny. anyway richie’s constantly slinging an arm over his shoulder, flopping down with his legs on ben’s lap when sitting in the grass in spring time, dramatically fake fainting into his arms bc he knows ben will always catch him (yes this is a scene in the fic i’m currently writing don’t @ me those of u with access to the google doc)

genuinely don’t let me talk about denscom i simply won’t shut up. something i will always thank the muschietti films for is denscom rights. the first time i saw ben on the back of silver in chapter one?? showstopping. and chapter two is so funny with the love triangle bc i swear mcavoy’s bill spent more time giving ben Looks than he did looking at bev (like hanbrough rights but also bill @ ben in the cistern > adult bill @ anyone other than mike all film). anyway ben sits in bill’s heart from the moment he sits with eddie when bill has to go run fill up his inhaler and sometimes they just sit together and sketch things (ben sketches designs. bill sketches ben)

stan and ben are so different at first glance that sometimes it surprises people who don’t know them how much they love each other. but ben sits patiently with stan, listens to him talk, listens actively and intently, and cares. richie is stan’s best friend, but ben’s the one stan goes to when he wants to exist quietly in a space. they’re very good at making space for each other. richie’s also the one ben goes to when discussing the mathematics and physics of architecture, but stan’s the one he talks his ideas out with, the one who listens and thinks and frames things in the context of what they’re useful for, in the context of what’s real. (stan takes a little bit to warm up to ben, but one day ben just. it’s something so small, so simple, but they’re outside, and richie and bill are fucking around, and ben just moves stan’s sweater out of their path of chaos. stan doesn’t ask him to, and ben doesn’t even move his own stuff—he’s just thoughtful enough to show care to stan’s belongings, and stan just. loves him in that moment)

eddie’s a bit of a motormouth, but even though he’s just listed off twenty three reasons why they shouldn’t help ben (ben counted), he gets supplies and immediately sets about to patching him up anyway. when ben doesn’t even know eddie, not really, he sits with him, has his back when bill goes to fill his inhaler, is a constant target for bowers and his cronies and yet stubbornly sticks by the side of a vulnerable boy he barely knows. eddie doesn’t love widely, but he loves fiercely, ferociously, completely, and that is how he loves ben. (ben loves more gently, in a way that isn’t cautious but is careful, like he knows how delicate hearts are to hold. one day, when ben waits at the altar as richie walks alongside the woman he loves, eddie stands at his side. eddie’s love is an unwavering force, and it’s what ben wants at his side that day)

bev loves bill like he’s an escape, like he’s an answer. bev loves ben like breathing. she’s spent her life looking for exits, and ben makes her feel safe enough that she finally learns how to stand still. he’s endearing and lonely and alone, he’s soft and gently courageous, he’s a constant target who throws himself immediately into the crossfire for her. she loves him at eleven, thirteen, sixteen, forever. january embers and a smile to herself at the edge of the bathtub, sure, but also: the way he grins as he hums to his music, his hand in hers as he helps her to her feet, the good natured way he rolls his eyes at richie’s ribbing. she buys sweaters several sizes too big, just so they can share them. she’s a little in love with him years before she’s a lot in love with him, and he’s the kind of selfless that never fails to take her breath away, because she never got to see that much of it before she met him

when ben meets mike, it’s a fight, but they’ve always felt like peace to each other. they’re the ones to say wait a minute, let him speak — they’re the ones to trade smirks when richie and bill make indignant noises after the ben and mike team up with bev to prank the other two — they’re the ones to bring easy smiles when meeting new people, earnest and genuine and so fucking funny at two am that stan literally cries from laughing when they’re studying for exams in their final year of high school. they love each other immediately, trust each other wholly, and the others just, like, shrug, because... yeah. they’re a little in love with both of them too. they totally get it

we talk a lot about Shauna being ruthless and violent and resentful, and not to say she isn't those things but also--

Shauna, who risks burning alive to save Van.

Shauna, who pauses to comfort the reunited Tai & Van after the latter is found safe

Shauna, who consoles and looks after Javi all through season 1 while his older brother is busy being misogynistic and getting fucked

Shauna, who takes on the job of butcher despite not necessarily wanting or enjoying it and never complains or slacks off even when the task becomes traumatizing

Shauna, who tries to get Jackie to eat, to keep going, when everyone else has given up on her by that point.

Shauna, who has to be goaded, essentially given permission before she becomes violent

Shauna, who loved her baby in spite of the stress her pregnancy added to an already precarious situation, who spoke to him and cradled him and futily tried to keep him alive, who buried him away from the others to keep him safe in death

Shauna, who kept her daughter's favorite childhood toy in her car long after she'd outgrown it, to always keep a piece of her close by

Shauna, who sees Tai struggling and invites her to stay over, so that Tai won't be afraid to sleep

Shauna, who goes along with Jeff's boring, milqtoast furniture salesman fantasies because while she doesn't love him the way she did Jackie, she does care about him and wants to make him happy

Shauna, who was the only one of the group to show up to Misty's how to get away with murder seminar and thank Misty for going to the trouble

Shauna, who is soft-spoken where Jackie is loud, conciliatory where Jackie is pushy, helpful where Jackie is lackadaisical, proactive where Jackie sulks.

Shauna, who's not a perfect friend or mother or wife but who's still quietly one of the nicest, most empathetic of the Yellowjackets and yet because she got drafted into being the group's butcher, wrote bitchy journal entries, and did one fucked up thing behind her best friend's back (which she immediately regretted and agonized over) gets rebranded by fandom as caustic, overly-snarky and quick tempered when it takes her 10 episodes to get pissed off enough to raise her voice

*saving this for later 😎*

queer books that didn’t disappoint me the way everything else has. please enjoy.

i love that sirius black escapes azkaban and his first 2 instincts are:

seek vengeance  

buy expensive gifts for school children 

Pssst

Hey, are you an artist or writer with WIPs?

Come here... I got a secret for you pssst come ‘ere

“Before you know it it’s 3 am and you’re 80 years old and you can’t remember what it was like to have 20 year old thoughts or a 10 year old heart.”

— This is the scariest fucking text post I’ve ever read (via fuckinq)

This is for all the writers who:

Have never finished a project

Don’t have publishing as their big goal

Write purely for enjoyment

Can’t/don’t stick to an idea

Don’t put their work out for people to read

Write purely as a hobby

You are just as valid and talented as writers who have been published, or have finished projects. You are still a writer, even if you don’t have other people read your work. You don’t have to pursue the same goals and have similar accomplishments to other people to be valid as a writer.

You are valid, you are important, and you are talented.

mike wheeler:

me: