Lazy Morning

Want to invent a time machine so that I can transfer young silco from the past and have a filthy threesome with his young and old self

Incorrect Bad Batch Quote #3

Crosshair: They all look so stupid coddling the girl.

Crosshair: All 'cause of this stupid "Foundling Gene"

Crosshair: That's not going to happen to me, no sir! I am a Soldier not a nanny!

[Omega curls up to Crosshair's side and rests her head on his lap.]

Crosshair: .....

Crosshair: Look at this thing, so pathetic and small, anything could harm her fragile little body.

Crosshair: Stupid girl.

[Crosshair absentmindedly caresses her hair.]

Crosshair: I'm gonna have to protect her since those idiots sure wont.

Crosshair: Then, when her arms are strong enough, I'll teach her to shoot so she can protect herself.

Crosshair: Then I'll--

Crosshair alarmed: WAIT A DARN MINUTE!!

Wrecker: When are you gonna fall in love?

Crosshair: I can’t even fall asleep.

Some of my favorite Crosshair screencaps just because I really feel like showcasing his beauty:

All these screenshots were taken by me. ✨Crosshair is my prince uwu ✨

Flirting with Hunter vs. Flirting with Crosshair:

Hunter: If I were a gardener, I’d put our tulips together.

You: Awwww.

—

Crosshair: If I were a gardener, you’d be my hoe.

You: ...Thanks.

Swear this was anonymous but thank you ❤️

Hello! I know you're with Tech and all which is why I can't stress enough about asking you on a platonic date to watch pirates of the caribbean

- Anon

You're on. I'll bring my copy of the "Buccaneers of the Akkadese Maelstrom" trilogy and some fruit sushi and we'll make a night of it.

Younger Silco, Vander and Benzo Headcanons

(Header artwork by the wonderfully talented @thefutonhermit and used with permission)

I took a very brief break from writing to do something just for fun and to clear my head a bit.

So! I've been having some serious brain rot over these three, and I also absolutely cannot get it out of my head that they shared a place at some point in time and the delightful chaos that ensued with their varied habits and mannerisms. For your consideration:

Eating Habits:

Silco-

No one in the Undercity is a picky eater. Food is too precious

That being said he does have SOME standards

If it's still moving that's a hard no. He'll dispatch it himself if needed

Not a fan of especially spicy foods

Actually enjoys cooking and experimenting with spices and more complex flavors

Wishes the other two would eat slower to appreciate his efforts instead of just inhaling it

Secret sweet tooth. Has a hiding spot for any treats he gets so Benzo and Vander don't 'accidentally' eat them

Vander-

Connoisseur of just about anything. Even things he probably shouldn't be eating

"Vander those leftovers are no good anymore"

"I'll be fine!" (Is somehow miraculously fine)

Banned from cooking after the lobster incident

Tries to get as much protein as possible-gotta build those muscles

"Ya gonna finish that?"

Knows where Silco's stash is but resists the temptation out of respect and knowing revenge would be swift

Benzo-

His standards fall somewhere between the other two, between "Is that edible...?" :< and "Ooh is that edible?! :D

Is the reason they all eat semi-well due to his deals with traders and merchants and access to more and better foods

Will take turns with Silco doing the cooking

Has a more limited repitore but they're all not bad

Is the guy who'll just casually chomp into a hot pepper. Especially if a bet is involved

Fast food junkie

Also knows where Silco's stash is and is the reason it had to be moved

Sleeping/cleaning/etc. down below! :) ⬇️

Sleeping Habits:

Silco-

Light sleeper

Refuses to wear ear plugs out of concern for their place being broken into ('What if I sleep through it?!')

Long pants/long sleeve shirt or tshirt if it's hot

Tea (or whiskey if available) and some reading before bed

Has a ridiculous amount of pillows (and a knife under them)

Sleeps curled in fetal position or on back with arms crossed over his stomach

Talks in his sleep but it's never comprehensible

Vander-

Falls asleep quickly but tends to wake up several times a night

Would probably sleep naked if given the chance but wears boxers and sometimes sweat pants

Sometimes has a smoke before bed (blowing the smoke out the window after the others gave him shit for it)

Only uses a blanket if it's especially cold

Snores but not loudly-more of a snort

Will occasionally...*cough* relieve some tension to help himself get to sleep

Sprawls across the bed or lays on his stomach

Benzo-

Out cold and not even an earthquake could wake him

Sleeps in whatever he's wearing or sometimes nothing if it's too hot

Says a brief prayer for luck every night

Midnight snack king

Does this little squeaking, babbling snore (did not believe the others until Vander recorded it once to prove it)

Burrows under a pile of blankets

Starfish or side-sleeper

Hygiene/Cleaning/Clothing Habits:

Silco-

Is quite fastidious with his personal hygiene

Brushes his hair and teeth as best as possible every day and styles his hair carefully

Bathes or at least showers as frequently as resources and money allow

"Just because we live in a dumpster doesn't mean we must smell or look like it"

Almost fell asleep in the tub more than once

Has a prized bottle of very expensive cologne he stole from a shop in Piltover

Will steal or bargain for the best clothes he can get ("If you're going to command respect, one should look the part")

Vander-

"Eh, I bathed...a few days back. Just gonna get filthy again anyway"

Is the gremlin that stands outside in the rain with a bar of soap and calls it a day ("I'm savin' time and money washing m'self and my clothes!")

Has had to be coerced/threatened into getting in the tub

But once he's in there good luck getting him back out-he'll bring a beer or two and make a little party of it

One thing he's picky about; his hair. Likes to carefully comb and style it. One of his favorite features about himself

Goes for clothing that's hard-wearing and practical/easy to move in

Doesn't do much with the facial hair-keeps it from being too messy that's it

Benzo-

Bathes when necessary "Like a normal person!"

Often the one who has to clean the bathroom when the others forget/refuse

Always uses his favorite spice-scented soap he trades for and will not share

Constantly has hangnails

Puts work into keeping his facial hair styled how he likes

Also likes to keep his style practical and more simple but likes to add some embellishment when able

Has a rubber duck he absolutely refuses to admit to having

you love silco as a sexy androgynous twink who wears guyliner and has a hunk boyfriend. I love silco as a scrawny old man with a caked face, no ass, no bitches, a daughter with severe BPD, and a failing drug empire. We are NOT the same

How I think that top-secret time on Kashyyyk would have gone. Yoda would probably like the other three but Crosshair would be more likely to drive him to insanity.

Cyare: Ah yes, the five love languages…

Cyare: *points at Crosshair* “Touch starved.”

Cyare: *points at Wrecker* “I love Stuff.”

Cyare: *points at Hunter* “I’m so fucking tired, please god let me rest for five minutes.”

Cyare: *points at Tech* “Hey pay attention to me.”

Cyare: *points at Crosshair* “My family never told me they loved me.”

Hunter:

Wrecker:

Tech:

Crosshair:

Crosshair: Wait why did I get two.