Bsd Imagines - Blog Posts

the things they do when they love you

⤷ ft. dazai, chuuya, ranpo, fyodor, sigma, tecchou, jouno

dazai always needs to be touching you. he starts his day with his forehead against yours in the comfort of his futon, legs tangled together. he barely makes it through work by playing footsie with you under his desk, resisting the urge to shower you with love under kunikida’s watchful eye. on the walk home, his hand lingers on the small of your back as he guides you through the crowded street, careful to not let anyone bump into you. and when it’s time to rest again, you strip him of his bandages and trace your fingertips along his forearms and wrists, trailing kisses down skin that haven’t felt human touch in who knows how long, making up for all the little touches he gave you through the day.

chuuya spoils you rotten. he has money to spare, and has no problems adding your needs into his monthly budget, but he spoils you in other, non-financial ways too. he notices the bags under your eyes, and turns off your alarm so you can get an extra few minutes of sleep, keeping track of the time so you aren’t late. he warms up your towels in the dryer while you’re in the shower so you won’t be cold when you get out. he’ll watch that one show you like, as corny as it may be, because he wouldn’t miss you laughing so prettily at the stupid jokes for the world.

ranpo compares everyone else to you. for someone who thought he was the greatest, he really loved to talk about how great you were. “y/n’s coffee tastes better.” he comments with a shrug to the waitress, who has no idea who you are. “that would look so cute on y/n!” when yosano is showing him the new shirt she bought, much to her disdain. “you’re so boring! why can’t y/n be here instead.” he pouts in front of the witness he’s interviewing. there may or may not be a group of people in yokohama who unintentionally hate you.

fyodor asks what you think — not just about his work, about everything. he wants to pick your brain apart and analyze everything about you, from how you like your tea to your opinion on how greek philosophy influenced modern christianity. he wants to be the only one who knows you so well; it only seems fair when he feels so annoyingly vulnerable around you, knowing you’ve captured his heart.

sigma lets his guard down around you. you never have an ulterior motive or try to read him. you ask questions about himself out of pure curiosity, and in return he tries to memorize everything he can about you. there’s so much he doesn’t know, and you teach him as much as you can; not so you can use him, but because you want him to experience life to the fullest. when you wrap your arms around him, letting him rest his head on top of yours, he can’t help but think about how long he’s dreamed of this, and now he finally has it: his home.

tecchou looks at you, almost always. you can’t ignore the tingly feeling of his eyes on you as you’re folding laundry or brushing your hair. when you ask him, you half expect him to blink and snap out of it, but he never does. “i like looking at you. you’re pretty.” is what he always says, gaze never straying from behind his messy bangs.

jouno listens to every part of you. while the extra noise that comes with his ability is bothersome, your sounds calm him. any irregularity in your heartbeat or your breathing makes a nervousness he isn’t used to surge through his body. he can’t help but feel prideful at the way your heartbeat is so calm when your fingers, so much softer than any fabric, brush against his own. he can’t see you, but he can hear the blood rush to your cheeks and the smile in your voice when you talk to him about your day.

— YOU'RE SO DIVINE, YOU'RE IN YOUR PRIME

RECEIVERS。sugar daddy!nikolai gogol x fem!reader

WISHCARD。nikolai as your sugar daddy... with a little sweet twist! ♡

BOUQUET。n/sfw 18+, dark content, manipulation, age gap (nikolai's in 30s, reader's in 20s), power imbalance, choking

PRICE。approx. 2.2k

FREEGIFT。you (ari abdul), bathroom (montell fish)

ﾟ･✿ヾ meeting Nikolai is an unexpected event. he looks youthful, despite being in his thirties. his luxuries are subtle—he never mentions his job but you know it pays him well when you notice the brand of his shirt, his leather jacket, his sunglasses, his watch, his shoes, his pants. his fashion is classic yet he looks rich. as someone in their twenties, you surely would be interested with such possessions.

“Another?” Nikolai asks. His voice is sultry as he offers to buy you more and more drinks for the night. He doesn't even mind telling the bartender to add your glasses to his tab and he even encourages you to try the most expensive drink.

“Uhm...” you are a bit unsure. It would feel like you're digging the fuck out of his money, especially when this is the very first night you met this man. Nikolai however laughs, holding your hand to reassure you that his pocket won't drain just because of a couple more glasses.

Your heart beats fast when you feel the cold of his rings. You should have pulled away—it's dangerous. But instead, your fingers are twitching to trace every vein threading his hand.

ﾟ･✿ヾ he is a big tease. he knows the cues in your body language—your interest and eagerness to know him better, to be closer, to cross the border of just being acquaintances. but Nikolai wants more than just normality. he loves challenges and having fun. and certainly, he loves having his fun with an adorable freak.

You feel reluctant to leave the club without even getting any contact with the man you have been chatting with for hours, sharing subtle yet desiring touches. Your fingers still feel the coldness of his skin and you can still fantasise his hand on your thigh, lightly squeezing and caressing you.

Telling your friends to wait, you rush back inside, avoiding crowds and uninviting touches. The seats at the bar where you two were sitting are empty. You look around, trying to seek Nikolai again, hoping he is still around for a small talk. But your effort is futile. The night is still wild with neons and music.

As you just want to leave, mourning your lost chance, a strong arm slithers around your waist. A familiar chuckle shatters beside your ear and you can smell a burning cigarette. You turn, seeing the older man you yearn for the whole night smirking down at you.

He takes his cigarette off his lips before resting it between yours. You take a little drag of it and as you pull it away, letting the smoke leave your lips, Nikolai disappears once again. You turn, seeing no sight of him. In confusion, you look at the cigarette. On its white, there's a number.

ﾟ･✿ヾ contacting him is your everyday routine. it starts with innocent messages and calls—“how are you?” “have you eaten today?” “how does my outfit look?”—and it evolves to suggestive ones. him asking to see your nightwear, you sharing screenshots of the bags and dresses you wish to possess, him asking for nudes and you sharing shots in skimpy lingerie.

“This looks pretty, don't you think?” you ask him through the video call. You are out to buy some fast fashion items to go to a party this weekend. Unfortunately, Nikolai couldn't accompany you.

“The black one?” Nikolai asks, occasionally glancing to the other side as his hand is jotting something on a paper with a red pen. Despite how busy he seems, he does pay attention to your shopping matters. “How much is it?”

“Oh, it's...” you look at the black purse that you have been eyeing for the past ten minutes. You look at the price tag and you round up the cents. “It's like seventy-five dollars.”

Your phone pings and a notification appears at the top of the screen—Nikolai transferred $500!

ﾟ･✿ヾ you and Nikolai never declare your relationship. it just happens very naturally. he knows what you want and you are content with his attention. when you hear the stories your friends have with their sugar daddies, you wonder why Nikolai still does not ask for more than nudes and sexy photos from you. every time on a date, he just wants you to look pretty for him.

You're spending the night in his apartment, trying various silky dresses to match his suit for a socialite gathering he said he should attend tomorrow. You play dress-up in front of his mirror as he sits at the edge of the bed, legs spread, watching you contently.

“I like this one, what do you think?” you turn to him, posing to show him the garment. Nikolai just hums approvingly, smirking at the sight of your bare back in his view. He twirls his finger, gesturing to you to make a twirl for him. So you do, twirling like a princess in a garden.

“Hm, pretty. You look absolutely gorgeous. Why don't you try another? They're all gonna be yours anyway.” Nikolai says, pushing slightly another three dresses you have yet to try. Your eyes sparkle, looking at the beautiful expensive dresses that will be yours regardless.

But being aware of the nature of your relationship with him, you approach him shyly, sitting on his lap casually. The man only smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist. His palm rests on your bum, pulling you closer to his crotch.

“How should I please you, sir?” you whisper sensually right by his ear, kissing his neck so lightly that he only hums. Your maroon nails knead his hair, careful to not tug his braid. Your lips travel from his neck to his jaw before you kiss his lips shortly, only making Nikolai smile slyly.

“Just look pretty, baby,” he smirks. “You just need to look pretty for me. Come on, up and go dress another one, princess.”

ﾟ･✿ヾ going to a gathering as his partner feels like a reward. he does not treat you like an escort. when he notices you lightly shiver from the cold, he offers his coat. when he sees you are slightly adjusting your footing, he knows you need to sit and he sits with you. instead of carrying your own purse, Nikolai would gladly hold it for you. and when you are too bored while he is stuck in a conversation, he will excuse you two and bring you around to tell you stuff that might interest you. and most importantly, after all of that, he just gives you his card, giving you full access to buy whatever you want as your reward for today. he treats you as he would if you were his lover.

You may have overestimated how the rich eat. Small portions, big prices. You do not really want to look like you have never been into this kind of setting, but the meals are not satisfying for you at all. Not to mention, after walking around accompanying Nikolai, your feet feel sore.

“You okay?” Nikolai asks softly. He sits beside you, refusing to sit across. He says it feels nicer to have you closer to him. You only nod slowly but Nikolai is very observant when it comes to you. He calls the waiter, ordering a dessert. You turn to him, only for him to grin. “Desserts can make people happy.”

You chuckle a bit at his comment. As you eat the dessert, Nikolai only treats you the sweetest. Playing with your cheek, your dress and even caressing your thigh. He seems to have a hard time saying sweet nothings to you—“You're so beautiful tonight,” “You behave so well for me today,” “I'd treat you the world, baby,” “Never ever leave me, darling,”—It almost makes you forget the real relationship you two have.

ﾟ･✿ヾ maybe it's just one of his tactics to drive you to desperation but you certainly feel quite guilty for not doing the usual sugar-baby things to him back. he always spends and spends more for you. you purposely dress sexily beneath your sweater for him, you give him suggestive photos when he doesn't even ask, and you offer to pleasure him after he treated you hundreds worth of luxuries. when he finally allows you to ride him dumb, you feel too accomplished in life.

“Stupid face,” Nikolai chuckles as he seizes your jaw. Your hips are grinding hard on his cock, buried deeply in your tight cunt. You moan highly when he thrusts up suddenly, pushing his cock deeper.

Your hands clench the fabric of his tight-fitted turtleneck. He only lets his cock out and you do all the work. It arouses both you and him, seeing your reflection of you being half-naked while he's fully clothed. In your cleavage, there is a crumple of cash notes.

“Fuck...! Oh, gosh, you feel s'good..!” you whine when Nikolai pushes you to lie on your back on the bed as he thrusts into you, hard and fast. Your throat can barely hold the whimpers, filling his room with your sinful voice and his deep moans.

“Ha— your face is just so fucking pretty, malyshka. Should've fucked you back in the club, huh?” Nikolai snickers, seeing your face. Your tits are jiggling in your bra, spilling out the cash from its confine. His large hand travels to your pussy, rubbing your sensitive clit, making your legs tense up and wrap around his waist. Eyes shut, hands gripping his broad shoulders, your insides clench his girth and Nikolai curses out breathily, laughing softly at the warmth of your cunt.

As his other hand roam around your naked body that is scattered with the cash notes, you feel cold metal poking your skin. Up, up, up, it trails to enter your lips. Slightly gagging, your eyes slowly open, only to be met with a gun in your mouth.

ﾟ･✿ヾ it is getting weirder with your sugar daddy. not only he asks for your cunt whenever he's bored now, but he also makes you do bidding for him, such as delivering a package. you are about to protest cutely, hoping your doe eyes and pouty lips can melt his heart. of course, after he shoves his cock into your throat and transfers you another hundred of money, you have to do what he says. he is your daddy after all.

You are lying on the couch of his house, with nothing but panties and his shirt on, your eyes are focused on the television that is showing the news. Hands frozen, eyes widened, lips parted. You feel awfully familiar with this particular news.

News about a bombed car. The victim's identity is revealed to the screen. And you knew well who it was. It was the man you met this afternoon to give a package from Nikolai.

Your heart is beating fast. There's no way the package is the cause of the explosion, right?

You swallow hard, feeling nervous and uneasy. As you try to calm your heart, a hand wraps itself around your throat, slightly tightening its grip. You choke slightly and suddenly your head is pulled back, causing you to see Nikolai who has been standing behind you. He is smiling, very very very mysteriously. His hand is hard around your throat that you feel it's getting harder to breathe. Your lips are parted as you let out a broken whimper of being choked.

A few hundred notes are inserted into your drooling mouth before the grip around your neck loosens, allowing you to suck oxygen back into your lungs. Nikolai laughs, almost sounds sadistic, as he leaves you on the couch, struggling to breathe with money in your mouth.

ﾟ･✿ヾ you may never know who or what Nikolai actually is, and perhaps it's better for you that way. though, escape is no more of an option.

You have made yourself promise him to look sexy in his bed tonight. With white lingerie and stockings, you splay yourself on his bed, playing with the new phone he just bought for you the other day. When you hear the front door being opened, you immediately get up, grabbing his dress shirt to drape over your body.

“Welcome back—”

Your words are stuck in your throat as you see Nikolai's shirt smeared with blood and his hands are stained crimson, your lips are shut close as you step back. Nikolai blinks, seeming to be surprised you are here. He looks to the wall where he has hung his calendar.

“Oh, dearly. It seems I have forgotten.” he gasps. “What a blunder! Apologies, baby. You must have been shocked, aren't you? Woah, me oh my! A terrible, terrible mistakes! Now, how should I, a great clown, fool this situation out?” he giggles. His elegance is gone, only replaced by an eccentricity. With his stained hand, he turns the lock on the door.

“What—”

You have no time to react when Nikolai quickly gets to you, gripping your arm. His eyes are gleaming with a different kind of excitement. He slips his hand into his pocket before he takes out a few crumpled notes. He then slips the notes into your bra—“Hush money,” he says.

“No—” you try to take out the cash but Nikolai grabs your other wrist before he pulls you into his room. His sinister giggle echoes, sending shivers down your spine.

“I've already got you where I want. Now, shut your pretty mouth, alright? I got this.”

©cherikolya 2023 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚 : 𝙪𝙣𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣, 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 : 𝙖 𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙞𝙧𝙘𝙪𝙨, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙯𝙚, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

He brings himself in, and you embrace him tightly — both will never let go, at least that's what you think. He has seen what's yours, he has explored the very place you thought as a safe place.

“Oh, my love. You're just adorable. How I wish this is my sight every day. You look so mine, right now.”

“My, my! Just look at that cute pretty face! Yes, yes, you have found something? Mind to tell me what is it?”

“What's with the face, dear? What is it? What did you find?”

“What did you see in my place, dear? Tell me. Hey, tell me. Please, tell me, I'm itching to know—everything everything everything—that is on your mind right now, love.”

do read the first part (i'ma tear out your heart, it'll always be mine) and second part (gonna break his fxcking spine, wanna dance until we die) with the spotify playlist

Hey, I was in the amazing street art show and I I came up with this headcanon in my head...

Nikolai Gogol as street performer who love attention from public. He love audience ovations — so very satisfying even more than money, which he earn from performance. He do this for his own freedom. For freedom from his oppressive and closed to new things family, whose doesn't support his passion. He does it to spite them — just as he takes you from the audience in spite of them and choose you to help in his „new trick”, assuring you that you will be safe in „his strong arms”. Lifting you a few meters wasn't too difficult with his ability like wasn't too difficult impressing the audience, whose rubbed their eyes in amazement.

When hen you were already on the ground, you weren't able to identify why your heart was beating faster — because of stress or because of the handsome artist's gaze...

Hurt/ comfort

MINORS DNI

Steam

Fyodor Dostoyevsky x fem! reader

Trigger warning: angst (?), unhealthy relationship, implied intercourse.

This is +18 (minors don’t read this, go away).

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You dumped him.. what a shame really.

He was thinking amused.

All these moments spent together.. for you to dump him easily like that. What a bad joke.

Do you really think you can dump me like that ?

I am the best partner she could ever have, she’ll find no one like me.

After another day of Fyodor working and not spearing you a glance, you got fed up. Pretty badly. Quit the house, came back 3 days later to announce him you no longer wanted to be in a relationship with someone so uncaring like him. How would you be called a couple if there were times where he wouldn’t spare you a single glance in a period of three days ?!

If he loved me, he would take the time to pay some attention to me. I am his partner after all. Instead of that, he’s spending the whole day in front of his computer, working. You thought, mind reeling.

So you took your things and left. Your pride would never let you stay in a situation like this one. He didn’t want to care ? Fine. You didn’t have to put up with this. This wasn’t the kind of relationship you wanted and you were determined to move forward, leaving the past behind you, for the light of the futur ahead.

The problem is that Fyodor…will not let you go.

According to his logic : you’re his and his only, he hasn’t juged it necessary to end the relationship for such a trivial matter so he’s not willing to free you. Plus, he knew this was going to happen at some point, he’s far from stupid. He sensed you were tense as of late, that your patience was running thin and that he was upsetting you. Only, he decided to not put much effort into it and put his work first.

While you were chilling peacefully at your new apartment, you thought you were in secure and that he has let go of you. That you were back to being the master of your life and choices and that you did well. Little did you know that a certain demon is just behind the entrance of your house waiting for the right moment before opening your door.

Fyodor has a certain crush on you, that’s precisely why he dated you in the first place. You were rebel, defiant, full of life and gracious, your intelligence was notable and were also ambitious, reasonable and strong. He wouldn’t accept letting someone else have you. Even the idea of entering your shared bedroom and not finding you ready to cuddle him, was an unacceptable idea.

That’s why he’s here now, ready to jump on his prey.

He’s missed you so much, your smell, your skin, your presence, your.. everything. He craved having a hold on you again. All he desires now is to shove you back in your shared apartment and chain you up so you’ll never go away, even when he ignores you for the sake of his work.

Suddenly he hears a laugh coming from the other side of the door. You seem to be speaking on the phone with someone.

And though the sound of your laughter is pleasant, he couldn’t ignore the vile ideas that crept up his mind.

You must be talking to your irking friends again..

Oh your sociability… if Fyodor could name ONE thing about your that irks him, it would be that.

You were enjoying too much the company of other people. You’re so open that people are naturally drawn to you. And he dislikes that , he hates the stares that you get from your guys friends, he hates when they monopolised you or when someone texts you late at night and you making yourself so available for them. You should only be available for him.

Why should anybody else have access to you ? You’re his thing and his thing alone. And he doesn’t want to share HIS THING.

He was jealous, possessive, you name it. He knew in his somber mind that, if he let you, one of these friends of yours would jump onto the occasion to get closer to you in hopes of being with you. And he’ll never allow such thing. Ever.

He was still waiting in front of the entrance of your new house. He waited for you to go take your nightly shower as you always do, so he could sneak inside the house without you noticing or trying to stop him.

He was carefully listening to what’s happening inside the house when he finally heard your footsteps, a door opening, then closing.

You finally went to take a shower. It was now time for him to enter.

Tik tik tik.. BINGO.

The bobby pin opened the door.

He silently entered the house, checked around and saw your clothes on the couch. Those you’ve just took off to wash yourself.

He was finally smelling your sent.

Then, an idea popped in his eccentric head.

He slowly took his clothes off in order to avoid making any sound, then, casually made his way to your bathroom as if he was in his own house. He, very, very silently entered your bathroom.

Because of the sound of water falling, you couldn’t quite hear the door opening and closing and the fact you were facing the opposite direction of the door prevented you from seeing your « ex boyfriend » casually making his way to you with his usual smirk. Yeah, that crazy psychopathic smirk.

Only this time, his eyes were dark from the excitement of having you at his mercy not even one foot away from him.. vulnerable. He didn’t waste any time before entering the Italian shower you were in hugging you from behind. Smelling you, touching you.. oh how he missed this. It’s been only two weeks since you dumped him, and still, he was craving you. He was never a dependent man and he’s still not one but let’s say.. he was smitten by you.

Feeling suddenly someone against you scared you to death, you jumped and trembled from fear against him, until you heard a certain voice behind you, whispering you to calm down and kissing your skin.

- « Calm down it’s just me. » He said

As if he was supposed to be here, in the first place.

Freezing in place, you slowly turned your head to look at him, still hugging you from behind, nuzzling his face on your neck while slowly massaging your skin. Needless to say you were flabbergasted and you haven’t calmed down much. Knowing him, you understood he was up to something but seeing him hug you showed that he wasn’t there to harm you.

- « What are you doing here Fyodor ?! You broke into my house AND had the audacity to enter when I am showering ? » You angrily spat. You weren’t going to let him disrespect you like this.

- « Well I am free to see my partner whenever I want to, I’am I not ? » He added with a sultry voice and a mischievous smirk looking at you with a predator’s eyes.

When you were going to object and say that you were no longer together, he beat you and added:

- « Plus, I don’t like the fact of you taking decisions that concerns the both of us by yourself.. You want to split, but I don’t. And, as I consider that you belong to me, I get to choose. I consider we’re still together. Moreover, you’ll never find someone like me so why fight ? » He calmly added with a smirk and a fake innocent look.

You were flabbergasted in front of such a man. You would’ve never thought that if you were to end the relationship, Fyodor would have that reaction. Meanwhile, he continued trailing kisses up your neck and jawline as if nothing was happening. When you snapped out of your shock you removed his hands from you and turned to properly face him. Facing him, you see him smirking and shamelessly looking down at your exposed body with darkened eyes and, of course this never-leaving smirk of his.. wider than usual. You felt… naked but that’s what you were. You had to concentrate to not let your eyes roam down HIS body that was naked too.

Once you focused, you started :

- « Fyodor, in case you haven’t noticed, I am a grown woman and you don’t get to choose wether I stay with you or not. I ended the relationship for solid reasons and if you don’t like it, then it’s your problem, should’ve thought about it before. Now I’ll be asking you to get out of my house. » you simply said, looking at him straight in the eyes, mustering as much charisma as you could while facing such an insane man.

Oh god how he loved when you would stand your ground and defy him. A wild thing.. he was thinking. That was something new to him since everyone was scared of him in the outside. Seeing you like this is just so entertaining to him. Though he was looking at you like one would look at a little child uttering threats. He knew he could take you home anytime he wanted whether you liked it or not. So he was just pleased by what he had before him.

In an instant you found yourself sammed against the wet wall of your shower. Looking up, you saw Fyodor leaning towards you so your faces would be only an inch apart. He’s looking at you in the eyes with an overwhelming intensity.. You suddenly felt very little (feeling accentuated by your height difference) and couldn’t do anything besides maintaining the eye contact with him in order to put up a fight, just for your pride. It was your way of showing him that you weren’t going to submit to him.

He loved it.

It made it all the more enjoyable to dominate you. Suddenly his lips locked against yours in a very deep, passionate kiss. You tried to push him off but he pinned your wrists against the wall, effectively forcing you to kiss him back.

It was at this moment you knew it was over for you.

Fyodor was the type to get what he wanted one way or another and you couldn’t escape him. He would either use gentleness or force and he wasn’t very patient. All of this was a message for you to understand. He was deciding, not you.

The problem is that you still had a weak spot for him.. it’s been only two weeks since you broke up with him and either way you didn’t have the choice but to accept him again in your life.

——————————————————————

After your.. rather steamy shower, you both got out of the bathroom. Not wasting anymore time, he demanded you to pack your things so you could go back home, to your shared apartment.

When you two came back, he turned towards you, with a deep stare, his violet eyes gleaming dangerously and said :

- « Next time you try to run away from me, when I find you, I’ll chain you to the bed. » He sinisterly warned.

You shuddered at his tone. Everything in his facial and body language suggested that he was extremely serious and that he wouldn’t hesitate next time.

- « Understood ? » he added with a glare.

You curtly nodded, still shuddering.

He smirked.

- « Good little girl, now come .. » he grabbed your wrist and yanked you towards him.

You were stuck.

.

life never feels real.

he never feels real.

because whenever he wakes up, he still feels stuck in a repetitive dream.

every day: wake up. go to work. go to sleep.

it's like his life is a constant loop.

that all changes when you walk into his life. now his days look more colorful.

his days are full of your love.

his days are full of your light.

you are his reason to live.

KUNIKIDA, dazai, NEUVILETTE, zhongli, ajax, and any of your emotionally exhausted favorites!