Heh heh hheeehhhh....
Im freaking the fuck out. Nothing new.
So, I present to you, another rant/vent about my life that no one cares about or wants to know.
Right. So basically, im nervous. One of my friends, he walks me home right? Nothing wrong with that except the odd comment from our other friends saying we're dating when we arent and never will. (We will refer to him as J) He's told me he has a crush, and that Im the only one he has told. J has said he will tell me tomorrow when he walks me home. Its only us two from a certain point cause our friends have to part ways to get home.
So you may be wondering, 'asexualcat486, why you freaking out for? Whats wrong with him wanting to tell you about a crush in private with no one else around?' I'll tell you.
Last time a friend (We'll just call him M) told me about a crush and asked for help, M asked me out. Bearing in mind we're friends. And apart of the same friend group. Now, I got nothing wrong with people who date within the friend group. Its just I personally cant. I just cant. It stresses me out. If theres an argument or you break up the friend group is tense debating who they should agree with.
Now more as to why this predicament (also, look at me using big words🥳) I'm in is freaking me out! Ive been told by one of my friends that J has a crush on me. You see why im freaking out now?
And now I'm panicking. I dont want to upset him but I dont like him like that. And being in a relationship with anyone freaks me out and makes me feel awkward, but that could just be me questioning my sexuality and romantic attraction. I dont want to upset J but I dont want to feel awkward around him because we are good friends. I cant bring myself to date someone I see as a good friend incase I ruin our friendship. Although when I dated M and broke up with him, he was very understanding of the fact that I was questioning and understood that I didnt want to ruin our friendship. If anything that made our bon/friendship stronger. We're best friends who hang out regularly, we always forget that we are in fact exes, but it isnt obvious.
I- I just dont know what to do if J does ask me out. Im sure if he does he will understand that Im questioning everything about myself.
To be honest Im probably worrying over nothing. But, I'm going to ask our friends if they've noticed a change in how he acts around anyone or if he has said anything to them regarding a crush.
I'll let y'all know tomorrow what happened if I remember to.