Nat X Reader - Blog Posts

Angsty fic w nat? When we were young by adele is the plot tho 😏

when we were young

a/n: this is the first time i've written angst with no happy ending so enjoy😭

warnings: angst (no happy ending)

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

summary: after a year of be ignored and shut out, the reader decides its time to leave nat, no matter how much it hurts

translations: detka=baby

words: 1.2k | natasha x reader masterlist | navigation post

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated and welcomed <3

You woke up to an empty bed, again. You weren’t surprised, you had woken up to an empty bed every day for the past year. Nat was too busy working, hoping, searching for a solution, a way to bring everybody back. After the blip occurred, Nat turned cold, towards everyone. The redhead stays at her desk day and night, she barely paid you any attention. You had told her time and time again that she couldn't fix every problem on the face of the Earth. She refused to listen.

It hurt seeing Nat turn into a shell of her former self and you often found yourself reminiscing on old memories. You two used to go on adventures, you wanted to show her all your favorite places. You took her to amusement parks, beaches, and to your favorite parks. You used to have movie nights at least once a week, you showed her all your favorites and she showed you hers.

You missed her. You missed her raspy morning voice saying she loved you, how she would gently rub circles on your back when you were feeling overwhelmed, how she would throw her head back laughing at all your jokes.

But that Natasha was long gone. That Natasha was replaced by one who never said more than three words to you, one who never leaves the compound, one that no longer laughed at anything.

“Natasha,” you said more sternly than usual. The redhead didn’t even acknowledge you, she just kept typing. “Natasha!” You yelled this time. The redhead looked up at you with zero expression in her eyes. “You know it’s not your fault right? The blip. It’s not your fault.” You said for the millionth time this year. The redhead just sighed and went back to typing on her computer.

For the past year, you had been giving her space, reassurance, anything she could possibly need. But she just didn’t seem to care. You loved her so much, more than anything or anyone, but staying here with her was destroying you.

With tears in your eyes, you stormed out of the room and retreated back into your bedroom, you didn’t think you could even call it you and Nat’s bedroom anymore.

You looked around the room, the one filled with pictures. Ones from all your adventures. Ones from when you two were both younger when the world wasn’t in chaos.

You missed the simple days, the ones before aliens invaded New York. The ones before killer robots made a city fly. You missed just being able to hang out with Nat when you two could do what you wanted when you wanted to.

When you were younger things were easier, but now, nothing was easy.

-

Months passed and nothing changed. Nat just sat and stared at her computer, getting more and more distant every day. You were lucky if she spoke to you once a week nowadays. You yearned for her, all you wanted was to feel her touch again or to hear her beautiful voice.

You knew the good days were over. You knew Nat would never move on from this, not unless she miraculously found a way to reverse the blip.

You wished you could live in the photos in your bedroom. The photos of you and Nat laughing so hard that you could barely breathe. The ones where you two-starred lovingly into each others eyes. But you couldn’t, as much as you wished you could, you couldn’t live in photographs.

For months now you had entertained the thought of leaving the compound, of leaving Natasha. Every time you thought about it, the guilt of leaving Nat ate you alive. You couldn’t leave her, not when she was like this.

But you also couldn’t stay, not anymore. Staying was killing you. Loving her when she showed no sign that she loved you was destroying you. So as much as it hurt, you knew you had to leave.

You packed your things from around the compound without Nat even noticing. She was too busy working to notice you were taking all your things. You could have just walked out the front door without her noticing if you wanted to. But you thought you at least owed her a goodbye and you hoped she would give you some closure.

“Natasha,” you said in an attempt to grab her attention. She didn’t even look up, “Natasha I’m leaving.” No response. “Natasha I’m leaving and I’m not coming back this time.” The redhead immediately looked up at you, “What?”

“I can’t sit here and be a ghost in my own house anymore Natasha.” The redhead stared at you puzzled, “I don’t-”

“You have been ignoring my existence for over a year now! You don’t talk to me, you don’t come to bed, you don’t ever leave that damn computer!” You yelled, trying to hold back tears, you couldn’t let her see you cry, not now. “Y/N I’m sorry I just-”

“Look I know you have a lot going on right now and I know you have a lot on your plate, but you don’t make time for me anymore and it’s exhausting loving someone who clearly doesn’t care about you,” the tears started flowing down your face, over a year of emotions exploding out.

“I do love you, I love you so much, Y/N you hold me together,” Natasha said as tears formed in her eyes. “See, saying that you love me and showing me you love me are two different things.”

Natasha let out a sob, she didn’t want to be left alone. “Please don’t go, I’ll be better, I promise.”

“I can’t stay anymore, I want to believe you, but I’m tired Nat,” you said through your sobs. You advanced toward the door and for the first time in a long long while Natasha got up from her desk and ran toward you. The redhead hugged you from behind, “I can’t do this without you.”

“Natasha, please,” you cried as you melted into her touch. God, you missed her hugs. “I miss the way things were when we were younger, what happened to the adventures, the laughs, the spontaneous dates,” you spilled out, her hugs always made you open up.

“I miss that too,” Nat sobbed out, almost collapsing to the floor.

The two of you stood in silence, Natasha still gripping onto you tightly. You both stood and appreciated what was what you both knew was the last time you would ever touch one another.

“Nat I need to go,” you said in a barely audible whisper. “I know,” Nat said, equally as quiet. The redhead slowly released her grip on you.

You opened the door and took a deep breath, “Goodbye Natasha.” You closed the door before you could hear her say anything in response. Immediately, you fell to the ground sobbing, Natasha was your soulmate, your other half. Leaving her hurt you more than any wound you have ever had.

You thought one day you two would get married, settle down, get some of the life Steve was always telling you to get. But that wasn’t you and Nat’s story, not in this lifetime at least.

Maybe in another lifetime Nat.

Missing in Action

Natasha x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 700

Notes: Last drabble of the night in the NEB universe.

You’re not sure what has you more stressed the crying baby in front of you or the fact that your wife is not home yet. You’ve called Natasha twice now to see when she’d be home from her mission and she hasn’t picked up either time. You should be used to it by now. You know how it goes. She’s home when she can be. She’s stopped taking longer missions after you had Ryan but this was a pressing matter. An alien attack of some sort. She’s in another country - last you heard Norway. She told you on her last phone call a week ago. She talked your ear off about how much you should visit and how much she misses you. She promised she wouldn’t miss Ryan’s first Christmas for the world. She wants to be there when he opens his presents. She wants to see the snow with you. Just like she does every year.

She promises to be home until she can’t be. It’s the procedure. She’s gone ghost as you like to call it. No calls, no texts, and certainly no emails. It’s a part of her job. It’s important to her. Sometimes you think more important than you.

No. You shake your head free of those intrusive thoughts. They’re frequent these days. The negative thoughts. Sometimes your mind plays tricks on you. Telling you you’re not worthy of Natasha’s love. You’re not worthy of anyone’s love. Some days you can’t get out of bed only opting to feed Ryan and play with him for as long as you can stand it. You feel like you’re drowning and the only person to talk to is unreachable. The only person that can drive away those dark thoughts and insecurities isn’t here. It hurts, even more, to think about.

Ryan is crying again for what seems like the fifth hour in a row. He just won’t stop. He’s teething. You know he’s in pain but nothing you do works. Not cold compresses, not Orajel on his gums, none of the remedies you read online. It seems the only thing that even remotely calms him is being in your arms and you can’t get anything done with him screaming in your ear. It’s a frustrating feeling as a first-time mom. He’s sitting across from you, clean, dry, seemingly tired but unwilling to fall asleep. You sit looking at him with your phone in one hand and a teething ring in the other. Your back is pressed against the couch, your knees are drawn to your chest, as you simply watch him. His face is angry and red. He wants your comfort but you can’t give it to him.

For a moment, you zone out. Life before marriage, before the baby, before everything was simpler. There was no one depending on you. There wasn’t that feeling of emptiness deep inside you. Natasha didn’t believe you when you told her. She told you sometimes these things take time. When would that be? You didn’t feel a connection to the baby boy sitting there. You didn’t feel that instant love like she did. You never wanted to admit it but sometimes you wondered how you did it. You’re supposed to love him. You do love him. Why didn’t it feel the same? Every time you looked at him you felt that resentment boil inside of you. Babies were supposed to be happy things. You had been so thrilled to find out you were pregnant. Why didn’t any of this feel right?

Postpartum depression. You’ve researched it well enough to think you have the symptoms but you can’t right now. Thinking about it makes it real and you don’t want it to be real. It’s a sign of weakness and you won’t show it. Now when all he has right now is you. Your feelings didn’t matter. You crawl the few feet across the floor to place Ryan on your lap. He rubs his face across your shirt as he sobs even louder. He’s in pain and you can’t even do anything to make it better.

You wish Natasha were here. She always knows what to do. She knows how to make him feel better. She is a better mother than you could ever be and you both know it.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me,” You whisper to the top of his head as you finally let the tears you’ve been holding fall.

Period Pains

Natasha x Reader

Notes: Made this because I'm in bed wishing I had a girlfriend to come cuddle me

Word Count: 1k

You can feel the disappointment settled deeply in your bones the moment you wake up. The unsettling feeling low in your abdomen causes you to sigh. It’s a frustrating feeling and you should be used to it by now. Yet it never seems to stop bothering you. You reach across the bed to feel for Natasha only to be met with nothing. She must be out training. You sit up slowly, hoping to ease the pain in your belly, as you try to wake up enough to go to the bathroom. Another month. Another week of pain. You plant your feet on the ground, hands pressed against the bed, as you push yourself to a standing position. You shuffle the few feet across the room to reach the bathroom. You reach under the bathroom sink to find a sanitary napkin before dropping down onto the toilet seat. You swipe at the tears in your eyes at the sight of blood in your panties. It shouldn’t feel like this. It shouldn't be this way. Deciding that you feel icky, a shower is the only way to get you feeling decent enough.

You stand again, flushing the toilet behind you before walking over to the shower. You turn it to the hottest setting you can stand before tossing the panties and your sleep shorts into the nearby hamper. You wait for the water to heat up before stepping under the shower. You can barely stand and everything feels unstable. Your head hurts, your breasts are tender, your legs feel shaky beneath you. You make quick work of cleaning yourself, hoping to alleviate some of the pain in your lower back as the water rains down on you.

Natasha will be home soon. Then she can come and lay with you. All you want is Tasha.

You step out of the shower to wrap yourself in a towel rushing to your bedroom to put on a pair of panties and the sanitary napkin. You’re not even going to try tampons. No matter how many times people recommend it having something inside of you seems to hurt. So you stick to pads. It’s a simple step and you toss the wrapper in the trash. You avoid looking at yourself in the mirror. Everything hurts. You try not to think too hard as you reach inside of the medicine cabinet for extra strength Midol. The only thing that makes periods bearable for you. You pop open the packaging, pushing the pills into your mouth, before turning on the sink. You cup your hands under the running water to sip the water. It’s enough for you to swallow and you do so with a frown.

Giving one final glance to the bathroom to make sure it’s clean, you rush back into your bedroom. You dig through Natasha’s drawer for one of her oversized t-shirts. It used to be Clint’s but now it’s hers. It smells like her laundry detergent and it brings you comfort while you wait for her. You stretch it over your head straightening it down your body. You don’t care about pants right now. It would only annoy you to have the fabric over your sensitive skin right now. You crawl into the middle of the bed pulling the covers over your head. You just want to sleep.

You don’t realize that you actually do fall asleep until Natasha is brushing her fingers along your face. She whispers for you to wake up and you do with a whimper. The pain comes back at you full force as you blink your eyes open.

“Hey, J.A.R.V.I.S. informed me you weren’t feeling well,” She speaks in a hushed tone. Her brows knit with concern and she gestures to the tea and hot water bottle sitting on the nightstand. “I brought reinforcements.” She says.

“Yeah,” You whimper again tears shining in your eyes now. “Hold me?” You ask. You don’t care how you look. You’re in pain and you want her. Natasha doesn’t hesitate to crawl into bed. You lift, waiting expectantly for her to find a good position, and that’s when you notice what she’s wearing. A simple black tank top, no bra, and biker shorts. She must have showered when she got here. She pulls you into her arms as she lies against the pillows. She reaches with her left hand to grab the hot water bottle pressing it against your back. You flinch slightly before sighing in relief at your aching muscles fighting against the heat.

“You got your period?” She guesses and you nod against her collarbone. She kisses the top of your head. She knows the first few days of your period leave you practically bedridden. She rubs her thumb soothingly against your bare arm under the sleeve of your shirt. You listen to her breathing for a few seconds finding the constant beating almost lullaby-like.

“I’m sorry, Tasha.” You say suddenly. “It’s not fair.” You press your face further into her body clutching her shirt between your fingers as another wave of cramps hits you. She knows what you mean.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” She soothes. “We can try again.” She promises. “If you want. Only if you want.” She says. She’s so understanding. She’s always so understanding with you. You close your eyes, trusting her to keep you safe, as you try to relax.

Natasha’s hand that had been rubbing your arm travels down your body and under your t-shirt. She reaches just slightly under the waistband of your panties, pausing her fingers when you tense under her. You’re sensitive but you nod against her to continue. She presses just slightly on the skin there. Right, where you feel the most pain. She massages gently and you whine. Her touches are gentle and caring as she tries to alleviate some of the pain you’re feeling. It seems to be working as you feel the muscles under her fingers relax just slightly.

“I love you,” You whisper to her.

“I love you too,” She whispers back.

What it’s like Dating Natasha Romanoff

Pairing: Natasha romanoff x reader

Warnings: implied smut,Angst,Fluff

It took a while for Nat to get close to you. The walls she had built around her needed to be broken down first.

She loves to be the big spoon, be the one to comfort you, she’ll run her finger up and down your hip in a soft motion.

Her love language is definitely Acts of service, she’ll buy you things,make you food if you come back from work later than her. She’ll do as much as she can with the free time she has.

She never realized until you how touched starved she was growing up. She’ll hold your hand or kiss your cheek in public but behind closed doors Physical touch is her second love language. Always needing a reason to touch you.

She definitely is the more dominant one in the relationship but she does have her moments,where she doesn’t want to think and just wants to let you do the thinking for her. During those times are usually the hardest for her.

Usually she likes surprising people with the multiple times she changes her hair, but now being with you, it’s always you cutting her hair dyeing it. Loving every bit of the closest and the trust she has for you. Plus it’s a great thing to grip😉

There are some rough patches in the relationship mostly because of her trauma but that doesn’t stop you from helping her the best you can even if it means starting her shower,putting her stuff away, or even just giving her some needed time alone.

Most likely you both have a ring hiding in your drawer not knowing that the other is also planning to propose.♥️

Message me for requests! 18+ for smut

is that my jacket?

Request from @maximoffmorale

-wandanat x reader where r is a part of the avengers and wanda is the one of the new recruits. basically nat makes wanda nervous and she thinks the woman hates her when really nat is attracted to the girl and trying hard not to show it. and wanda mainly goes to r for comfort and advice all the time. i'm thinking nat and r are close (maybe dating?) and wandas this oblivious little bean who doesn't realize they like her?

readerxnat (relationship)

wandanatxreader (slowburn)

To say Nat had a hard time showing her feelings towards people would be a HUGE understatement, in fact the way she had shown you her feelings was while on a mission in which she told you “don’t fuck this up.. I eventually want you to be my girlfriend” it was your first ‘official avengers mission’ you ever did and the statement was brushed off as one of nats stupid comments but after the mission you had realised what she had meant and called her out on it. You would never let her live that down.

Wanda however wasn’t so social, being the newest member you were allocated to show the witch the ins and outs of the avengers lifestyle. Wanda’a first interaction with Nat was chaotic to say the least.

-flashback-

Y/N and Wanda came walking into the Sokovian building where they were instructed to meet the rest of the avengers, Wanda had been wearing Nats jacket that Y/N previously stole from her girlfriends closet. “Is that my jacket?” Nat bluntly questioned the two girls. “She’s with us” Y/N states, glaring at her girlfriend, praying the Russian spy would be welcoming of the new girl. “Still doesn’t explain the jacket” Nat glared at the Sokovian as she walked past them, bumping shoulders with Wanda as she walked past the girls. “Sorry about her..she’s…uh not so optimistic” y/n states with a welcoming smile.

-end of flashback -

It had now been a few months since the whole ultron fiasco, Wanda was ashamed, not only had she caused her own town to be destroyed, she had also witnessed her twin brothers death. A brutal one at that, heroic yet ironic all in one.

Y/N had been a ‘godsent’ throughout the grieving period of Wanda’s life. Whether it had been making Sokovian dishes in the compounds kitchen for Wanda or just being there for the girl to have a shoulder to cry on, y/n was there for it all.

Nat however had grown jealous of the newcomer, in training sessions Nat had gone hard on Wanda, her excuse being “she’s weak, we don’t need any deadweight on missions” in which that statement gained a deathly glare from her girlfriend. In the weeks Wanda had been settling in Nat went out of her way to learn more about the younger woman, she had put it down to wanting to use her past against her, however in all honesty Nat just wanted to know more but didn’t dare to ask.

After a month of Wanda being on the team Nats insults started to focus more on Wanda than the whole team.

Each time Wanda instantly went to Y/N needing the comfort. The more this happened the more Wanda’s feelings grew for the avenger. She had found out that Y/N’s powers matched her brothers in that they both had superspeed, this made Wanda’s fondness of the girl grow even more.

Nat saw how Wanda had affected her girlfriend, y/n was happier, Nat knew how bad her girlfriends mental health was, it was a giving with the avengers life style and with the trauma y/n had endured, it was a relief to see her happy. Y/n finally had something to do with her days, if Nat was on a mission, y/n would be teaching Wanda an array of new skills.

After the two month mark of Wanda being an avenger, Nat had decided the Sokovian wasn’t that bad, hey she gave y/n something to focus her mind on and for that Nat was grateful. This didn’t change the fact that Nat would insult the witch at any given moment though, it just meant that the insults were now more advise based. Wanda didn’t realise this though, too blinded by fear and nerves she saw every insult as a threat.

“Keep focused or you’ll get hurt I don’t care if it’s by me or an enemy”

“You should start talking to the rest of the team more, give y/n a break yeah?”

One day Wanda had enough. She made her daily route to Y/N’s bedroom, swinging the door open and flopping aside the girl on the bed. As if relying on muscle memory, y/n had placed her book aside, took her headphones off and opened her arms for the witch to crawl into “what’s on that mind of yours Wands?” Y/n said with her smile that was only reserved for her girlfriend and wanda. “Can you control your guard dog? Please” wanda pleads which had gained a chuckle from y/n “wanda she’s just like that sometimes” the girl replied as she slowly ran her fingers through the brunettes hair. “Hey why don’t you go and get the guitar I bought you, I have a new song to teach you” y/n said.

Y/N was always finding ways to take peoples troubles away. Music being the main one, the girl had those stupid headphones in all the time, she had her reason, y/n had developed tinnitus when fighting ultron, she had been running with a child in her arms when gun fire came from the Quinjet Ultron had stolen, the sound of bullets had caused her eardrums to be permanently damaged, thus that stupid ringing all the fucking time. But now she uses this as an excuse to have music playing 24/7. Nat hates it, but had slowly came to accept it was now a part of her life.

Wanda quickly nodded intrigued on what song Y/N had found this time, the girl had ran out of the room, with her room being across the compound it gave Nat time to go see her girlfriend.

Upon her entrance Nat admired her girlfriend, headphones in, walking around the room humming to the song in her ears. Sneaking up behind the girl, a deviant smirk plastered itself upon Nats face. Within seconds Nat had lifted Y/N and tackled her to the bed, in return Y/N screamed before realising who her attacker was “NAT RESPECTFULLY STOP” y/n shouted at the woman whilst laughing. Without wasting a second Nat lifted the headphones off her girlfriends ears, earning a pout from the girl in return. Nat knew y/n could read lips now but she thought she needed to have the adhd ridden girls full attention, or at least half of it. “I need your advice” Nat didn’t waste a second before speaking to the girl. “Oh? What’s up my love? Talk to me” Y/N sat up next to her girlfriend, this made Nat aware that she was all ears.

Picking at the red nail varnish on her nails, Nat thought of how to confess to girlfriend. The feeling of her hands being held brought her back out of her thoughts y/e/c eyes stared into nats green orbs. “Take your time” you had said.

“I think like Wanda” Nat confessed. “Aw babe that’s great, see now we can all get along yes?” Y/n smiled. “N..No I mean I like her in the ways I like you” Nat said as she stared at her girlfriend. A smile crept across the younger girls face as Nats face went red “do you plan on telling her this? if so please stop insulting the poor thing, she’s scared of you” y/n laughs a little.

Truth be told y/n also had feelings for Wanda. I mean how couldn’t she, her and Wanda had been practically glued to the hip ever since the witches arrival. It didn’t take Y/n so long to tell Nat her new found feelings, Nat fully supported this, they had both talked about the possibility of another person in their relationship, but it had never worked out as planned.

-time skip . a week later -

All of a sudden the insults had stopped. The men had been sent on a mission, leaving Y/N, Nat and Wanda alone in the compound.

Y/N and Nat had been scheming and with poor Wanda being an obvious little shit, all of their attempts at confessions had went to shit. However they decided to be more obvious with their confession.

Y/N had set up her electric guitar outside in the garden she had grown in the back of the compound, she had also made Wanda’s favourite dish. Nat had set up a picnic area in the garden next to her girlfriends guitar, once it was all done Nat called Wanda down and led her to the garden.

Upon entering the garden the two girls could hear y/n playing a sweet song she had came up with. Wanda was speechless to say the least.

After the song, they all sat down and ate, they shared stories and laughed until Nat said “hey Wanda, how was it growing up in sokovia? Like you know as an orphan.” To this Wanda stood up and walked away in silence. “NATASHA SERIOUSLY?” Y/N had shouted at her girlfriend, upon explaining the situation to nat, her and y/n ran after Wanda.

“Wanda wait I’m sorry” y/n said as she sped up to Wanda. “She hates me doesn’t she?” Wanda said quietly “no no love, it’s actually quite the opposite. We set this up to confess our love for you” y/n had said just as Nat was walking over to the girls “romantic love, im sorry wanda I do have feelings for you I just go too far sometimes” Nat confessed with a sad smile