aimer-toujours

Latest Posts by aimer-toujours

“Because this thing between us, it’s something that happens only once, and I’ve managed to almost lose it twice. I won’t risk it again.”

Only once

Somewhere, there’s a version of us that survived.

You were the first and last person to hold my heart with all of its pieces.

A letter to my 19 year old self.

Stop letting a broke heart make decisions for you. Ignore that selfish thing when it pumps wildly. Ignore it when the shattering is so deafening it feels impossible to block out. Stop running from the pain, because no matter where you go it will find you, it will cling to you like a shadow and it won’t keep the what if’s away.

I let you ruin me, and the worst part is I’d do it all again without a second thought. I’d beg for it.

What a mess we made trying to prove we don't need each other.

“It’s you, and us,” I added, motioning between us. “It’s this thing that never was, but always is, that never will be and will never not be”

Make me hate you

“Timing is a hell of a thing. In the end, that’s what it all comes down to. The potency of an attraction or the purity of a connection mean very little if you’re on separate journeys. You and I were a perfect fit, we were, there was just too much distance between us to see it.”

- a love letter to whiskey

- Clementine Von Radics

— Clementine Von Radics

I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage

One day,

That was the name of the movie I watched with my step mother. And as the credits rolled she looked at me and said “you love this movie because you want to live it with him. You want to know that at the end of your time apart living other lives with other people. That one day some how you’ll find your way back to each other, and it’ll be the two of you forever”

I’ve never heard such sadness give me such hope.

I could hear it in your voice the last time we spoke. You’ve always been able to see into the deep dark crevices of my mind and soul

I’ll always remember that look on your face. You saw me. You’ve always seen me. And I think that’s all that anyone wants.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz

My biggest regret will always be not hitting you that night. Not kissing you that night. Not fighting for you that night.

You said you’d always leave a light on for me … you must of forgot to pay the electric bill.

I don’t know how I knew, but I did.

I could feel it in my bones. The silence crept in once again, filling the space that contained all my chaos. I haven’t heard a peep since. You know the silence kills me, I’ll lose my mind in the emptiness. But the thing is I didn’t know why the silence took over. I didn’t know why I couldn’t get it back. But then I saw the ring on her finger and it all made sense. . .

When she’s walking down the aisle to you I know I’ll be the furthest from your mind. But there’s a piece of you stuck in my veins. It’s the piece of you I know you’ll never share with her but you were willing to share with me. It’s the only part of me that isn’t dying slowly, knowing there’s still something you’d only be willing to give me.

I wish I could see you one last time.

I wish I knew the last time was the last time.

It’ll never happen, but if it did,

I think my heart would stop beating. I think my lungs would refuse air.

And I think I’d die when you just look the other way without a care in the world.

I’m sorry if any of your broken pieces have my name on them. God knows most of mine have your name tattooed on them in the same black ink etched in my skin with your memory summed up in a song lyric.

“I hate who I have to be without you next to me”

Couple years flashin' by

And I'm doin' okay

In the back of my mind

All I hear is your name

I bet you're happy and that's fine

But I regret just one thing

I never got to change your mind

Halsey

A beautiful boy once told me saying love you is just habit, to say I love you is to mean it, and I’ve never forgotten that …

I remembered the other day I was given an opportunity to return to the town we met. Your town. I didn’t take it … but I wonder if I would’ve run into you. Fate being the cruel mistress she is sending us back towards one another. You’re a ghost to me now, so faded in the distance yet the memories send cold shivers down my spine. You haunt me, creeping back in right when I forget to remember you. I wonder what look you’d have on your face if you saw me. would you leave like I did? Would you say something after all this time? Would you pretend you didn’t know me ? Like we were nothing? I don’t think I could take it if you did. So I didn’t go. I’ve avoided it if I’m being honest, I don’t know what it would feel like to be back in a town I once called home. It’s a ghost town to me, memories of you walking the streets. In baseball fields and football games. Somehow you even stole the sunset. How can something so long forgotten by one still have such a strong hold on the other after all these years ?

You should’ve killed me when you had the chance, but it isn’t in your nature to be that kind…

“Were we ever meant to get it right?”

I’m still mesmerized by your writing, I hope I didn’t take that from you. Do you ever think about me ? I’m sorry it’s selfish to ask.

“You are the only one, the only love that I have ever been able to write about.”

— Things I Never Got To Tell You, Part 21 (via venula)

Fuck.

I forget what it was like to be in love with your best friend until my mind betrays me with a memory of you …

I liked the way you let me break my own heart. I think I always knew I was safe to let you see that side of me. To see the broke down girl in the corner crying on her birthday. Because you’d always be there. But I know now that doesn’t always mean you’ll be in my life. We loved in the world of writers, we wrote each other into our stories and left them for the world to see. I will never be able to unravel you from those words, and why would I want to? In those stories lives a love so strong that it blew up so many lives. A love filled with sacrifice and two people finding their way back to each other over and over again. In those stories lives a love worth remembering. I used to compare us to the great love on the big screen, I think I was looking at the wrong ones. We found each other and burned too brightly this time around. But something in me can’t believe we won’t meet again and next time, we’ll get it right.

Because no matter how many goodbyes we’ve had, none have felt like forever.