hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it
everything starts and ends with kevin day. do you get it? everything starts and ends with kevin day. of course everything has to start and end with kevin day it could never be any other way
sometimes I think I don’t like myself but if i’m being honest that’s not true. I don’t like some things that happened to me and I don’t like that I have to deal with the aftermath of them but I am always trying my hardest and I’m still here and I’m great for that. I think I don’t give myself enough credit for that
mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately
>>> the perfect court the foxhole court the raven king the king's men the sunshine court the golden raven the broken cage >>> the queen's game
the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself
nothing in my mind except neil josten doing those gimmicky interviews
lie detector interview? he lies flawlessly. they ask him what team he’s on to test it and he says the trojans. the needle doesn’t move. no one knows what to do
answering the internet’s most googled question? neil doesn’t give away shit. (“what is neil jostens favorite hobby?” “lying to cops”) every question is answered with some version of your mother or an anecdote about something illegal
hot wings but neil and kevin do it versus each other. it quickly devolves into psychological warfare. neil adds hot sauce to kevin’s wing when he’s not looking
neil takes a buzzfeed which exy player are you the most like and when he gets riko he just walks out
literally any gimmicky pr stunt just dissolves into chaos
he’s an asshole. he’s the kindest friend you will ever have. hes an alcoholic health freak. he’s a heartless machine that only cares about playing stickball and has little interest in real people. he will make outstanding efforts to never ever ever have to be alone for even one second. he’s half of a duo. he wishes he could stand on his own. he mourns a man that no one else on earth loved (even though no one on earth has been as hurt by that man as him). he knows you will die and he does nothing to even attempt to stop it– he still makes sure your remaining time is the best time anyone’s ever had. he leaves you even though he’s all you have, but he never stops sending you postcards, he never stops trying to save you. he promises you he will find you a purpose in life, and he always finds it. he always finds it.
theo. 26. he/him. a place to shout about my various interests. currently hyperfixating on all for the game.
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