My Self-esteem Was Based On My Job But It Seems I Am Too Mentally-disabled To Work I Guess My Self-esteem

I mowed the lawn today. Also, I guess I'm quitting nicotine today. So that's nice. I'll let you all know how that's going. I'm going to try to sleep off the nicotine withdrawal for a while.

∅ Hi, I'm Blue! ∅ I have to take a mental health break from the art therapy today. I expect I will have a drawing up tomorrow. At the moment, I draw stick figures with great difficulty. But I guess art is my hobby now. I feel like I need a creative outlet immediately right now, and these scribblings are all that I can do.

Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow. Take care.

Thank you. Yes, I REALLY do need to affirm my new name. I still have to use my old name in real life. I need to keep reinforcing my new name by using it here, so that my new sense of identity is not extinguished. So I started an art therapy project to draw my new name in different ways.

I am too depressed to do anything, and my thoughts are troubled by paranoia. However, I feel more stable than I did yesterday. Daily Affirmation: My name is Blue, and feeling bad does not make me a bad person.

I have a song in mind. Three singers, bass, baritone, and tenor, playing a guitar, a tambourine, and tapping sticks. I have to sing all three parts myself. If I don't write it down now, I'm going to forget it. I have imposter syndrome so bad. Or maybe it's learned helplessness. But I'll just do my best and then the result will tell us whether I'm an imposter or not.

I am a former choir singer and a former church guitarist. I feel inspired to compose music again. I have a song in mind. I just need to write it down and practice it. I promise you that my voice is much better than my drawings. I'll make an anonymous Bandcamp account and post a link to the song later.

Happy midnight! The old day is gone, and good riddance to it. This is a new day! And every day can be the start of a new era.

I might be going crazy, but I think I'm going to try panhandling tomorrow. Doing gigs and odd jobs is too stressful for me. I'm not homeless, but I can't work and my disability aid is months away. I haven't done panhandling before, and I am rather terrified. But I am going to wear a face mask, a hat, and sunglasses, which will help with the feeling of embarrassment. Wish me luck.

I lost my job. Affirmation of the Day: My name is Blue, and my existence has value.

Hey, I found another artist doing a repetitive art project. They're drawing worms over and over again. I like bugs and worms. Check them out!

62, woems

∅ Hi, I'm Blue! ∅ I put the letters in quadrants this time. I'm so smart!