“And Like The Moon, We Must Go Through Phases Of Emptiness To Feel Full Again.”

what if

what if i never did what i did? would it still be hard knowing that you deserved better, that if you were with someone else you’d be happier? maybe

but i cant go back. im stuck with the decision of letting you go and that i was too scared of being with you and disappointing you. yeah i know its dumb but what can i do now? its not like i can go back?

i have a question, do you ever think about me? yes i know this is dumb and the answer is probably no because i hurt you. but i just wanna know because i think about you. yeah i know you’re probably thinking why and maybe kinda pissed but i do and its all these little things that trigger it, like the stuff that trigger memories. happy ones. but really i just want to know if you ever just a little thought about me.

well yet again you’re never going to see this…

M O O D +

You know what you deserve? You deserve so much better. So many things have happened to you whether its a bad break up, family issues, friends, whatever it is.. you pulled through. You have made it this far and I’m proud of you. You truly deserve the world and since no one can give you that now, find someone that will, apologize, forgive but don’t forget, find new friends. Ones that make plans with you and free their time to give you attention. You deserve all good things and don’t for a second think you’re not worth it because you remind me of the sun, you hide away but always come back even more beautiful than before.

(via lifewritten)

agreed

message for him--

hey, you’re never gonna see this but i just have to write this down or else it’s gonna kill me on the inside. so me and you have history, i loved you and you loved me at least that’s what we’d say. but i broke it off well because i just couldn’t handle the “school stress” and having the thought i could only see you once a week, i just couldn’t. so at that time of course i thought it was a good idea to end it with you and so you could move on and maybe actually get a girl that is there with you and you can actually see in person. then i texted you because im a coward and said some lame excuse and not actually tell you whats wrong which would’ve been a better idea but i didn’t i just broke it off. then i immediately “liked” someone which wasn’t worth it, then i guess i “moved on”. well that’s what i thought, i was wrong. all the the people i had “feelings” for were distractions. what i mean is that me having those “feelings” for them was a distraction to how i really feel. i feel like im going crazy, because every second im not busy thinking about whatever, im thinking about what you’re doing or what we could’ve been doing at that moment. so all those people i thought i had feelings for were a distraction of how im actually missing you. but yet again im dumb because you’ve moved on and you probably hate how im crawling back to you right now when you’ve moved on so im sorry that my actual feelings and thoughts just hit me now because most of the time i have no idea what im doing. yet again you’re never gonna see this.

warmth

it’s now 3:30 am and i cannot stop thinking. i’ve been thinking about you, me, and us. i’ve thought about the bad times. arguments, our break, and scaring moments where i felt like i was losing you for good. but i’ve also started to think about the good times that knock out the bad. like cuddling in your warmth as the sun goes down, feeling how soft your lips are as they touch mine, and simply hearing your sweet voice. here alone in my bed desperately craving all of it. all of you. wishing right now to have your arms and warmth surrounding me. all i want is you. nothing else but you.

"of all weapons in the world, i now know love to be the most dangerous. for i have suffered a mortal wound. when did i fall so deeply under your spell, ms. bennet? i cannot fix the hour or the spot or the look or the words which lay the foundation. i was in the middle before i knew i began. but a proud fool i was. i have faced the harsh truth." - mr. darcy

scared.

im scared to catch these feelings, these cravings for someone always end the same. they rather end in pain or regret.

but the way you act, the way you talk, the way we talk, its different. its something ive never had. 

but i end up overthinking everything. i end up asking myself “is it worth it?” “should i fall for someone who i just met and probably doesn’t feel the same.” 

then i look at you and…