Modern Au: Every Gang Party Is Pure Anarchy, But The Aftermath Is So Much Worse.

ONLINE - 141 social media au

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : the task forces tinder profiles.

୨୧ 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 : suggestive.

Humpty Dumpty slander

hrnghhhh FTM trans Soap thoughts

lil Soap who always knew he wasn’t like the other girls his age

lil Soap who cried when he couldn’t join the boys’ footie league at school. His mom signed him up for a girls’ league instead, but for some reason that only made him want to cry more and he wasn’t sure why.

lil Soap who would always say “No, i’m hamsome!” whenever someone called him pretty, but grew out of it when he got older because the quiet laughs and ruffles of his hair that he received in response evolved into long silences and weird looks that he didn’t know how to interpret.

lil Soap who refused to brush his hair because it was a waste of time, so his mum always had to braid it every morning to keep it from turning into a rat’s nest, eventually coaxing him to let her brush it at least once a week because “I want you to look nice for church, m'ulaidh” and even then he’d sit on his little stool with the poutiest look on his face because this takes so loooong! How can anyone do this every single day?!

trans Soap whose family always sort of knew. The first time he comes back from a long deployment after starting T, he’s worried because he’s changed a lot and he doesn’t know how they’ll react, but when his Mum opens the door and lets him into the house, she just pinches his cheeks and says “you look just like your father” while his siblings immediately start clowning on him for his mohawk

Trans Soap who had to disclose his identity to Price so that he could still get his T shots while deployed and couldnt hide his big ol’ smile when Price just clapped him on the shoulder after signing the paperwork and said “Welcome to the team, son.”

Trans Soap who comes out to Simon over breakfast at his flat, where a drunk walk home the previous night had turned into to a make out session and almost a hookup, but had ended in a slightly awkward sleepover for obvious reasons.

Ghost who hasn’t exactly taken the time to sit down and work out what and who exactly he’s attracted to, he just knows he likes Johnny, so he takes a long sip of his coffee (because Johnny doesn’t have any tea) as he works out how to respond.

Ghost who can see how antsy Soap is getting while he thinks about what to say, so he puts down his mug and blurts out “still got an arsehole, don’t ya?” and starts mentally kicking himself the second the words leave his mouth because what the fuck?? who says that? He’s so nervous his hands are shaking and that’s how you respond? You blew it Simon, you idiot-

Soap who starts losing his mind laughing, both because that was the goofiest thing anyone has ever said in response to finding out about him being trans and he’s so relieved that Simon didn’t make a big deal of it

and then they kiss or something idk

Batfam's most suggested lunch spots

Dick: Bruce's office mini fridge after an important business outing

Jason: a Crime Alley dumpster where he once found a whole bag of gummy worms when he was ten

Tim: Jason's place after texting him from a burner number pretending to be Roy and Lian

Damian: Ivy's house—she makes vegan food with her worst-behaved plants

Duke: the only working vending machine at Gotham High, inside the teacher's lounge

Cullen: the Batburgers in the gay neighborhood with a secret Batwoman menu

Stephanie: the Waffle House where she was forced to out herself as Spoiler because robbers held it up in the middle of her meal, but to her surprise everyone in the restaurant agreed to keep her secret

Cassandra: the 24-hour convenience stores in Hong Kong where she can get an entire meal for the price of a bag of chips in America

Barbara: the GCPD break room—turns out tax dollars are paying for catering

Harper: everyone talks about Ma Kent's baking but not enough folks appreciate Pa's grilling

Carrie: a boardwalk vendor who combined pretzels and nachos

Kate: the Justice League cafeteria when it's Flash Fries Friday

Alfred: you would think he'd say his own cooking but it's actually the chicken shop near his old school

Selina: Arkham—she never wants to go back but she can't help but be nostalgic for her favorite mush

Bruce: he would say Alfred's cooking if Alfred hadn't flown back to England for chicken, so the next best is the steakhouse inside Wayne Enterprises

I want Bruce to take care of the JL members like they're his children.

I want him to always make sure the kitchen at the watchtower is stocked with a variety of their favorite foods (especially sweets ans the like).

He'll also make sure everyone's quarters are perfectly tailored to their needs.

Like, when Flash mentions running cold after a stressful mission because he's burnt so many calories and it takes a while for his body to warm up again even if he starts eating immediately, fluffy blankets suddenly appear in his room and the temperature mysteriously rises whenever they've been out.

Clark once complains about the hum of the machinery keeping him from rest and the next time he's at the watchtower his room has been soundproofed, but with the option to turn it off in case he wants to listen out for what's happening on earth or something.

Bruce also makes sure to herd everyone to the medbay for a check-up after missions where he hovers and he behaves like a fierce mama bear. When a member returns to the field too early he'll full-on lecture them in front of everyone and there are several videos of this on social media.

Bruce does this for everyone. But some people (like Clark) get special attention, which means this behavior extends to their civilian life. So every once in a while, when Clark's had a bad day, a lunch delivery will arrive at his desk, containing his favorite meal, or something will break in his apartment (like his dishwasher that one time) but he has to get to work and doesn't have time to take care of it right then. It turns out he does have to. When he gets home, everything's fixed.

If Clark is kidnapped, he knows without having to ask that Bruce is going to hunt him down with the help of the entire Justice League. They’ll find him! He’ll be fine!

If Bruce is kidnapped, he’ll just sit there — maybe getting lightly tortured — and dread the arrival of all 17 of his kids, one angry Kryptonian without his emotional support human, Alfred having a RED moment, the Batcow, and all of the active JL members who don’t hate him right now (Hal Jordan will probably still come with, but he will complain the entire time)

Wait who is Tims assigned youtuber?????

Well

a collection

what the B stands for when Bruce’s colleagues call him that

Diana: baby (lovingly)

Clark: babe (exasperatedly)

Hal: bitch (provokingly *wink*)

Barry: boss (*star eyes*)

Arthur: buddy (*attempts to hook his arm around Bruce’s neck*)

Ollie: Brucie (old habit)

bonus

John (Constantine): bestie (*just pissed Bruce off and about to piss him off further)