Still Not One Word. I Feel Like I Just Got Befriended, Betrayed, Forgotten... This Isn’t Like Me, I’m

Life is so busy sometimes, it definitely keeps me preoccupied for the most part, but there’s that time of day, when everything is quiet and still no chill cause damn, then I’m left to deal with forgetting you... forgive and forget right? That’s how I’ve been taught my whole life... my ignorant self jus needs to forget.,. I feel like that’s where healing begins... I’m usually pretty good at this part. Totally the unfortunate time to fall so deep that when you realize it’s there, that you’re feelings are passionate, and exotic with someone that may be the same as you, or as close as you assume it could get.... then to see changes, like a light switch as soon as my guard hits the ground, I feel like I almost hit the ground myself, I must be wrong, I must’ve been fooled, and in some of the worst ways... like automatically backtracking, life situations cause if I’m wrong about this, then I really must not know anyone at all, or I’ve done something fucked up to someone to be catching this shit. I know me, I treat people right, I help others if they need and I can, I stay in my lane, if someone needs me I’m here, so it’s me, I’m ignorant, how do you forget what made you feel this, what played like a friend yet lived like a snake in the grass. Fake, has to be or it would be different, we would at the least be friends, I felt like I bonded with you, it’s not possible to go from that to this.... my head is killing me! I’m jus ready to forget.... Tomorrow is a new day, fresh start... there has to be more to life, good people, somewhere... I’m not gonna let anyone change me... regardless of what anyone else may feel, I kinda like me, I’m a Gemini so I’m a little different but I’m good to others, I smile at someone just because I may get a smile back, and I do what I say. I don’t steal, I may talk your head off or not say two words, I’m a loner at times and a social butterfly mix, yeah. There has to be other good, honest people somewhere, ugh!

So true

“I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”

— Jack Kerouac (via quotemadness)

You’ll see that you will be able to adapt regardless

“If you care about somebody, you should want them to be happy. Even if you wind up being left out.”

— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of being a Wallflower

“Forgive me if I don’t talk much at times. It’s loud enough in my head.”

— Unknown (via thoughtkick)

It’s supposed to be a special day for him, I see that I’m not a part of this, ok I’m learning.

Yummy

I always say, “it’s the little things!

“It’s nice when someone remembers small details about you.”

—

Unknown

(via resqectable)

I think I’m over it! Not seeing him definitely helped. I feel a lot better. I feel like I’m kinda free. Not that he held me down because I made my own choices. I accept that. Fake is what it is, FAKE! I kept it 100! So my conscience is clear. I’m probably never gonna be more than a friend with benefits anyone else. He was my last hope as far as relationships go. I look back at what it was about him that I really missed and tbh, all of our time was spent with me trying to build him up and me working on his self esteem. I guess it worked. Mission accomplished! Time to move on anyways!!!