"When I Look At You, Your Perfect.

"When we meet again, his brilliant eyes will inevitably ask, "do you still think of me?"

And I will see the world shifting in the color of his irises and allow the quiver of mine say,

"With every breath and in every moment, yes, I think of you"

And yet, we'll still only be friends."

- My Heart's Thoughts

I sit here in the restroom crying at random moments wondering 'what did I do so wrong to deserve such a broken heart?'

- My Hearts Thoughts (true story, I'm falling apart)

Do you ever,,, drink tea,, and the honey just like SHINES and you feel like you're drinking literal sunlight??? Like it's a little warm and a bit sweet and it almost tastes like you're a little cat laying by the window with the sunshine warming you gently ...

Does anyone know what I mean ..?

"Everyone around me is talking about the new love blooming in my life while my mind drifts and shifts my heart to a past I can’t reach."

My Hearts Thoughts

I really do love him, you know that right?" I sobbed through my hands while sitting on my bed with my best friend. "I know." She rubbed my back in attempt to calm me down. I was crying over that idiot for the thousandth time, and everytime I had to ask my friend if she knew I loved him. I felt like he didn't know, because him knowing and still hurting me like he did with his cold actions was too much. He couldn't have hurt me if he knew, right? I hoped not.

My Hearts Thoughts

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

Who needs love?" We all do. Some of us just weren't ready for the struggle in it.

- My Hearts Thoughts

"He was like a fleeting kiss.

Perfect, then gone."

- My Hearts Thoughts

“My friends had always warned me about boys with that mad glint in their eyes, but this was exactly what drew me in. Your passion. The fire that sparked underneath your skin when you talked about something you loved. Your desire to explore, to see as much of this world as you could. To be free, in a way. To escape. It was contagious and intoxicating. I got high on your view of the world and drunk on your stories. But I’d known what you were all along. You were a liar, just like me. It takes one to know one. But what has knowing a punch was about to be thrown ever done to soften the blow? It doesn’t make goodbye any easier to bear. I saw it coming from miles away and it still hurt. It’s funny, isn’t it? How we’re told things aren’t good for us and we still give them a go, because sometimes our hope and our wish to prove everyone wrong outweigh caution. And sometimes going the wrong way is the right thing to do, because we learn to open our eyes to what we could not see before.”

— right mistakes / n.j.