“No One Has Ever Made You Feel This Way, How I Am Loving You Now: Remember, Remember Because Nobody

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.

John Lennon (via lifeofquotations)

I wanna be happy, who else?

"He was like a fleeting kiss.

Perfect, then gone."

- My Hearts Thoughts

Can it please finally be the first day I don't think of you? I've been waiting forever to let you go.

- My Hearts Thoughts

Who needs love?" We all do. Some of us just weren't ready for the struggle in it.

- My Hearts Thoughts

"I don’t dream you anymore, I’m not wishing.

There’s echos though;

Sometimes it’s a stranger’s smile,

a song,

a place,

Echoes of a long gone love, memories that don’t quite fade, vibrating too soft for reason, yet loud enough for me to hear."

My Hearts Thoughts

We both have stories to bury and none of us really know how deep we should dig. The dog keeps bringing the bones back home: he wants to play with our dead, he wants us to toss them just to see them come back again.

And here's how the story goes: I say there is nothing I wouldn't do for you.

You say there is nothing to be done.

I cannot carry the weight of your heart. I cannot carry it with me, it's too much.

So I'll throw it away, I will leave it behind, & I will offer the hole in my chest to another soul, one day, if they are in need of a place to land at the same time.

You say there is no time, only what we choose to do with it.

Good luck. Goodbye. Like sail boats; we’ll shimmy down the stream. It's been a year & I'm still waiting for that night to burn.

& here's how the story goes: everything ends up under the cathedral stones,

everything ends up right where we left it,

And I cannot walk past the old town without it tugging at my clothes.

“Dogs don’t know what they look like. Dogs don’t even know what size they are. No doubt it’s our fault, for breeding them into such weird shapes and sizes. My brother’s dachshund, standing tall at eight inches, would attack a Great Dane in the full conviction that she could tear it apart. When a little dog is assaulting its ankles the big dog often stands there looking confused — “Should I eat it? Will it eat me? I am bigger than it, aren’t I?” But then the Great Dane will come and try to sit in your lap and mash you flat, under the impression that it is a Peke-a-poo… Cats know exactly where they begin and end. When they walk slowly out the door that you are holding open for them, and pause, leaving their tail just an inch or two inside the door, they know it. They know you have to keep holding the door open. That is why their tail is there. It is a cat’s way of maintaining a relationship. Housecats know that they are small, and that it matters. When a cat meets a threatening dog and can’t make either a horizontal or a vertical escape, it’ll suddenly triple its size, inflating itself into a sort of weird fur blowfish, and it may work, because the dog gets confused again — “I thought that was a cat. Aren’t I bigger than cats? Will it eat me?” … A lot of us humans are like dogs: we really don’t know what size we are, how we’re shaped, what we look like. The most extreme example of this ignorance must be the people who design the seats on airplanes. At the other extreme, the people who have the most accurate, vivid sense of their own appearance may be dancers. What dancers look like is, after all, what they do.”

— Ursula Le Guin, in The Wave in the Mind (via fortooate)

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

10 pieces of advice to give yourself at the age of 20

At the age of 11, you learned that perfection does not always mean a flat tummy and a thigh gap. Go on and eat that second piece of cookie that you crave so much.

At the age of 12, you learned that just because you call her “mom” and him as “dad,” it doesn’t mean they inherently know how to be that. Also, suicide poison is not the cure for everything, it’s not a cure at all.

At the age of 13, you learned the difference between giving up and taking a rest. You might have given it your all but not make it. Remember to disregard everything that comes after but.

At the age of 14, you learned that standing up for everyone else does not mean that all of them will stand up for you when you need someone. Not one of them would be the first one to defend you, that spot is reserved for your name.

At the age of 15, you learned that people rarely mean what they say even if as a writer, you deem each and every word important. Learn to know the voices that speak sincerity and the voices that are just trying to get into your pants.

At the age of 16, you learned that letting go of people that only brings toxicity in your life is never a crime. Thinking about your own peace of mind does not make you selfish. Neither does placing yourself above that last number on your priority list.

At the age of 17, you learned that giving yourself to everyone willing could only lead to one thing: your own’s deterioration. Dear, you are more precious than someone who can’t even look into your eyes in the morning.

At the age of 18, you learned that loving and accepting yourself are two different things. Placing yourself in situations you are well aware of your self distraction is never loving yourself.

At the age of 19, you learned that lovers are not the only ones that can break your heart. People stay and go for a reason. Remember to treasure the rightful ones that life allowed to stay.

You’re 20 now and life has never been what you expected and planned it to be and that’s possibly the greatest thing that can happen into your life. You’re a writer but life writes with you, know when to let it leave significant marks and know when your own pen should be the one doing so.

written by bleakfantasies,  writing prompt #62: list 10 pieces of advice you’d give yourself

(via wnq-writers)