Been Thinking About My Tag System And Am Likely Going To Use Some Emojis! I'll Move A Few More Posts

**SPOILERS FOR THE BARBIE MOVIE**

I saw the barbie movie yesterday and found almost every feeling I have regarding humanity to be challenged. I struggle greatly with reconciling with my own humanity, especially with the isolation I feel from it due to some personal characteristics, as well as due to a lot of negative experiences growing up, ranging from abusive family to a host of adults who did nothing to help me as I moved through that exact abuse, as I moved through chronic health issues, through my undiagnosed autism, consistently struggling to fit in amongst those who seemed to reject me consistently. All of those feelings became very neatly tied together with my kintype, a nonhuman misanthrope.

This movie ran completely counter to my own held beliefs.

To see the negatives depicted, in barbie experiencing misogyny for the first time, in the discussions of how hard it is to be a woman, balanced in barbie's choice to be human, the imagery of her struggling to do things as simple as drink and her isolation from humanity itself, juxtaposed next to her finding a sense of beauty in it all, in her ultimately choosing to be human because all of the joy and wonders and experience is worth the pain and the risks. That ultimately, the love of the experience is worth it.

It's something I never imagined to see depicted on screen, and it's something that made me actively sob when I got home. The idea of this experience being worth it instead of being something akin to a punishment never crossed my mind, and I'm being left with a lot to consider. It feels almost overwhelming, I simply don't know where to start..

Little peek at my altar ✨️

I'm finding a lot of moments of melancholy accompanying the shifts, looking up at the moon in the night sky as I've done so many times before

Finding myself asking what the harm could be in letting myself have my spirituality, so what? And what if it's meaningful? And what if it gives me peace? Suspension of disbelief is necessary in a sense I suppose, though it also makes me ask whether belief would undermine me in any way. It all stems from the same (traumatic) source

Thinking I may very much lean into fictionkinity in daily life as I think it may help self care feel less like a chore.. I believe he had specific traits due to insect features, traits which I still possess due to my hEDS, so I think some simple transference of tasks would be helpful for me.

More liquids (ant and butterfly diet), better skincare (moisture necessary for overall insect health), care that is specific to me that feels so much more natural than the brute force I've been trying to apply

Oh, is it happening again?

Two years of us..

You may have been with me for longer, but the choice to take your name marks a crucial moment in our history. Ultimately, it was a choice.

An act of love. To want to be associated with you, to want to acknowledge you, to welcome you into my life, even when I hadn't fully realized that was what I had been doing. Shaping my perceptions of the world with your own thoughts, feelings, and memories.. it was something that was ultimately necessary to my own growth.

The literal, fragmented nature of you means I was always experiencing myself. Aspects of myself I had distanced myself from, and yet there you were, reconnecting me to myself. Drawing my soul back to me.

Your joy, your pride, your guilt, your shame, all of it meaningful to me. All of it serving a purpose. Every action was another piece of the puzzle, and I finally feel able to step back far enough to see the entire picture.

I see us. I see us, and what I no longer see is the shame I had felt in the way we coexist. You will always be with me, regardless of our integration. The experiences we have had and continue to have are cherished; it feels as though a second soul exists alongside my own, and it is something I treasure deeply.

I love you. I love us. I love how you've carried me this far and shown me things about myself I would never have understood otherwise. I love how your view of the world has colored my own. I love how I feel I was able to give you new experiences, demonstrating the good of the world to not only yourself, but to myself as well.

Life has been cruel to both of us, but it has also been kind, unbelievably kind. I am grateful to have given you a second chance, and I am grateful that you were able to assist me with my own. Hand in hand, we stood against the very forces that tore us down, and we emerged victorious, united in the beauty of the world.

Two years of evolution. Great pride in a heavy amount of effort, of work, of constant effort.

And the results have been nothing short of miraculous.

I love you.

Thank you for two years.

Hey! I saw you reblogged my post and was simply intrigued. Basically I'm on a mission to represent the non-human/alterhuman/otherkin/and so many others/ communities properly and holy shit seeing someone actually say they could relate to something I posted that they hadn't seen talked about WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL FOR ME! that's my only goal with this damn blog! (Sorry I'm functioning on caffeine right now) anyways, I'd love to hear anything else you think needs to be talked about more in our communities that isn't represented enough or is represented wrongly

Hello! I'm glad my resonance meant so much to you; I haven't seen anyone else convey the in-between space that I so often find myself in. It makes me wonder if the fictionkin label is the correct one for me as I haven't seen anyone else in the community discuss this feeling. As in my tags, instead of feeling one or the other, one soul in multiple lifetimes, I feel as though I have two souls in one body, my own and that of my kintype. It was more delineated in the beginning, but the shifts became harder to tease apart and now feel completely harmonious.

I suppose as far as representation is concerned, I believe you mention on your blog that you've heard that there isn't much discussion in way of psychological kin? I joined this community under that label because it helped me to make sense of my dissociative episodes in a way that felt grounded and comforting, later adopting the spiritual beliefs held by the otherkin community. I know this isn't a one size fits all experience, but seeing so many align while my own feels like an odd one out makes me wonder. It also makes me want to discuss my own experiences more, essentially as a way of reaching out to those who may feel similarly.

Seeing people discuss their experiences as fictionkin feels like an experience I am adjacent to; others discussing memories and especially reminiscing over friendships or relationships while I simply never felt that way, very interesting considering the powerful relationships my kintype has (had?). I wouldn't go as far as to say it feels isolating, but it feels almost as though my labeling of my experiences is incorrect due to the minutiae being so different from what appears to be the standard.

Of course, I only began to formally identify with this community maybe roughly a year or so ago, first jokingly but later realizing how genuine this truly is for me.

All in all, to answer the question, I suppose I would like to see more discussion of psychological kin, and, on a more difficult to pin down thought, I would love to see more discussion around unconventional experiences in the kin community. I know I feel something and I know it feels right to be where I am, but I can't quite nail down why it seems to be so different from those I see. I still miss a lot of the vocabulary as I haven't been around quite long enough, but the thoughts and questions linger.

Thank you for coming to me and saying hello and inquiring! I'm always glad to discuss experiences and I'm even more happy to see when those discussions are truly meaningful ✨️

It's the question almost of asking what exactly he is to me - a word, a phrase, a term to encompass, with the full knowledge that there simply may not be one.

Kin or fictive, for certain, but also with the presence as an f/o as well; the actual relationship I have with this character is muddled but he's remained an ever-present force in my life and I simply would not trade my experience for the world.

I want to be associated with him, I want people to see him and immediately think of me, I know it's what I've wanted for quite some time, and the amount of love that has come from my interactions with him speaks volumes about him and what he means to me.

I suppose there simply may not be any one answer. That's something I've come to terms with and have accepted. But, it does interest me so greatly to see how this has grown and developed.

ur a <stranger> - WILLOW

Night Shfit - Lucy Dacus

Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away) - HEALTH (cover)

Unloved - HEALTH

Church Outfit - Poppy

Doooshiyoooo!! - Tempalay

Imperial Girl - R Sound Design

Round Trip - 36g

Dramaturgy - Eve

Torinoko City - 40m-P

Bonfires - Blue Foundation

She's Lost Control - Joy Division

3AM-Alternative Root - Madoi the Maid

Help Me (Tsunawatari) - Hako Yamasaki

Let's discuss.

Interesting playlist development in not just including quieter music and synthpop but also including alt rock and post punk