30 Day Fictionkind Challenge

Hello all!

I've found that my experiences with kin don't quite seem to align with a lot of other people's, and, while I know that this is a subjective experience, I was wondering if detailing my experiences might help to elucidate what is going on for me. Even if there isn't a label, I'm still comfortable under the otherkin and alterhuman umbrellas ✨️

I don't quite feel the same level of identification that others feel with their kintype. I don't see him and feel a response of recognition - it feels less that I am him, but more that he is me. My kin is primarily psychological, and I later adopted the more spiritual side of the beliefs here. I do possess memories, but they are very brief snapshots in time of events - walking down a hallway and trailing my fingers along the wall, vague recollections of what flight felt like, nothing highly specific. I do have a sense of longing for the location he lived in, but not for anyone he knew (with the homesickness of sorts being attributed to a personal trauma response as I've discussed this in therapy, but it feels worthwhile to mention in this discussion).

Something also worth mentioning - while I do not have DID, I did (and potentially still do?) experience dissociation. The very first experiences I had were quite intense and I likened them to feeling possessed, though with less loss of control and more experiencing thoughts and emotions that did not belong to me. As time went on, I became more acquainted with this part of myself and the episodes became a lot less distressing as time went on. My analogy is that, if I were driving a car, the first episodes felt like me controlling the gas and brakes while someone else tried to take the wheel from me, while now they feel like I'm taking driving directions from a trusted friend.

At some point in the turmoil, I recognized the bundle of thoughts and feelings as the kintype I currently identify with (as?). I use his name offline in my life and feel a euphoria I cannot fully name when I am in full cosplay as him. He has insect characteristics (antennae and butterfly wings) and I notice a lot of the euphoria fades when I'm not wearing them, though in canon he was certainly nothing short of a misanthrope who took great pride in his insect nature.

It also feels worth mentioning, I am a semi-active member of the self ship community, and had been shipping with my kintype (as the human I currently am) for what had initially been coping purposes.

I suppose I feel less personal recognition, and almost as though I possess two souls, his and my own. What I had later called kinshifts had been so clearly delineated to me at first, but now I feel a sort of harmony with this.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm open for questions, if need be.

Quite interesting really, to see the same themes from roughly eight years ago resurfacing once again, though with a much different emotional flavor to it.

hello and welcome... to binarystarcare !

this is a (newly formed) kinhelp style blog catering to otherkin, fictionkin, factkin, and system members ! were open to any sources and dont have many blacklisted things ^-^ this blog is run by (currently) two mods - mod hunter and mod ranboo! we both offer different things - such as aesthetics, tarot and oracle readings, and stimboards !

all request info - and more mod info - can be found on our carrd !!

(ps this post is also serving as a promo post - please reblog this if you wanna help us out ^-^)

Yes, the hilarious karmic backlash of forcing a non-human misanthrope to live as a human, with every trait that could fit into humanity being carried along with him. The pain running down the length of my back where my wings had been, the hypermobility with joints that break far more easily, cold blue blood translating to dysautonomia, and for it to be so isolating. Something of a fitting punishment, I suppose.

I'm so interested, seems like fragments usually only encompass one emotion or event but he has multiple! I feel him in shame and guilt, but also in pride and competence, in achievement and childlike wonder in the world. He has some of his own memories, thoughts and feelings in the world, so he seems more complex than a fragment but less so than a fictive or any osdd alter.

Truthfully, it feels like so intensely that love is at the core of it all. I loved him so much that he become a permanent protector for me, helping me process my feelings and directing my attention to where it's needed most. Love is the overarching theme of my recovery and this is so fitting to see of him.

I don't know if I'll find a true label for him, and that's certainly okay. I love him, I love seeing how he views the world, and I'm glad to have that shared with me. That tattoo of his wings means I'll carry him with me forever, and I could not feel more honored to do so.

artindetails

Reminiscing about my trip to Versailles. Feels like a lifetime ago. 

IG: iridessence

Do people still make and post kin playlists, is that still something people do

Why is it so much more painful this time? I can barely look myself in the mirror, the disconnect is so great; the short term memory gaps seem to be less often but that's also been a new manifestation. There were definitely times in the past where I'd been jarred by the face I see in the reflection but it's never been quite like this.

Saw a call for fictives... who are also bodily minors.. will I ever see myself represented in these calls..