Junangel - Chill And Fun

Me: *stops writing* well that’s enough writing for now

Me: *later* Alright time to write!

Me: *staring at where I left off*

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

me as a writer: Oh no I can’t write that, somebody else already has

me as a reader: hell yes give me all the fics about this one scenario. The more the merrier

Literally me petting me friends’ cats. 

If I had a dollar for every fictional character I fell in love with, I could finally afford therapy.

Again, a video clip I made ^^

WTF? XDDD

How to use Loki dialogue in everyday life:

Dad: Have you seen my phone?

You: I sent it off, I know not where.

Sister: Will you wash the dishes?

Me: No. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy Jotunheim.

Friend: You're so crazy.

Me: Is it madness? IS IT?

Friend: I would tell you this secret, but I promised not to--

Me: TELL MEEEEE!!!

Sister: Is Dad awake yet?

Me: Father has fallen into the Odin sleep. Mother fears he may never awaken again.

Sister: Hey, remember that time when we were kids and--

Me: I remember a shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness.

Mom: Stop changing channels--

Me: It's too late to stop it. The Bifrost will build until Jotunheim is ripped apart.

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WTF?

This is so fucking brilliant! In a hilarious way! XD