There Is A Deep Suffering In Your Bones, A Clawing Ache In Your Chest. It’s A Kind Of Un-becoming—

grimesucker‌.

a TILTED grin cracks across his expression , the mender looking ALL-TOO SMUG as he reminisces a GOOD NIGHT ; it’s not OFTEN that he indulges in booze , but it’d been a GOOD BOTTLE & GOOD COMPANY—

slinging on his jacket , adjusting the collar & smoothing the fabric over weapon straps , dox peeks back towards fifteen with a raised brow—kettle , meet pot .

                                                        “ sure am . i’m ABOVE house rules.                                                                        —wanna come along ?”

  shiro MATCHES the raised brow with one of his own, though his expression weakens some when the offer comes for him to join. he WAS just going to sit up and try to find something to watch or reread those old astronomy books for the hundredth time, but... going out sounds better. more of a DISTRACTION from the thoughts keeping him awake.

     “ yeah. ”

a nod, a quick pat to ensure his knife is still strapped into place, and he hurries to the door. only THEN does he seem to hesitate.

     “ ...where are we going at this time of night, exactly? ”

* brighton rock prompts

brighton rock is a novel by graham greene. tw: suicide, murder, death. 

‘ it broke my heart. ’

‘ you think about it and you dream about it. ’

‘ this is my home. ’

‘ go on. eat.’

‘ give me a gun. ’

‘ take it or leave it. ’

‘ chocolates? ’

‘ help yourself, kid, if you’re hungry. ’ 

‘ meaning who? ’ 

‘ i’m all right. hungry. that’s all.’

‘ have you seen a doctor? ’

‘ you’re sick. ’

‘ i’ve got a headache. ’

‘ why don’t you leave me alone? ’

‘ i’m scared for you. ’

‘ we can talk there. ’

‘ i’m not sick. ’ 

‘ you call it being alone? ’

‘ why did they do it? ’

‘ i wish i’d killed myself. ’

‘ you want to lie down a bit and rest. ’

‘ wherever you go, i’ll go too. ’

‘ and if i don’t want to live… ’ 

‘ nobody asked questions. ’

‘ and how do you live now? ’

‘ that’s murder, too. ’   

‘ you look awful. ’  

‘ i want to lie down alone. ’  

‘ do they have sundaes? ’ 

‘ i know a good place. ’ 

‘ you better be. ’

‘ well, we’ll be safe now. ’ 

‘ mind if i sit down? ’        

‘ you wrote it, didn’t you. ’

‘ got a friend? ’

‘ you’ve got guts, haven’t you? ’ 

‘ give me time. ’

‘ why should that poor kid want to die? ’   

‘ you don’t want to leave me, do you? ’

‘ it sounds crazy. ’

‘ like we always was. ’

‘ i don’t know. i didn’t sleep last night.’

‘ i’ll go. i’m not scared. ’

‘ what are we going to do? ’

‘ i wanted some fresh air. ’ 

‘ that’s nothing. ’

‘ they’re all i’ve got. ’

‘ you’re all right. ’

‘ why, that’s a nice speech. ’

‘ i wouldn’t trust myself. ’ 

‘ what more can you do? ’

‘ it’s urgent. ’ 

‘ just wait awhile. ’

‘ i’ve got my friends. ’

‘ it’s dangerous. ’ 

‘ i’m going to die. i’m scared. ’ 

‘ but why? ’

‘ sometimes. ’

‘ i don’t want any trouble. ’

‘ we got scared for nothing. ’

‘ celebrate what? ’

‘ i know what love is. ’ 

‘ got the time? ’  

‘ come outside. ’

‘ i don’t smoke. ’

‘ a cheery soul. ’ 

‘ you’re too old for this life. ’ 

‘ don’t talk so much. ’

‘ you can’t miss it, can you? ’

You’ll get there one day kid, happy birthday 🖤

CLICK ON IT, IT’S TRANSPARENT

me: *points to space* !!!!!!

friend: ????

me: *points to space more violently* !!!!!!!!!

“we’re all killers. we’ve all killed parts of ourselves to survive. we’ve all got blood on our hands. something somewhere had to die so we could stay alive.”

— if memories could bleed, if dreams could scream | m.a.w (via dvoyd )

@grimesucker​ sent:  look it's nothin' special , he's just got fresh flowers poking through the floorboards right by where shiro sleeps , & a cloth set beside these at whereupon rests a still-warm chocolate chip muffin, fresh from his oven . // platonic v-day gifts in the witch verse pls thank u ;;;

  soft scents rouse him slowly from his sleep, though they don’t initially REGISTER in the haze of fresh consciousness. a tongue-curling yawn paired with a big stretch, forepaws extending out in front of him as far as they can, hindquarters rising slightly from the heavily cushioned bed, and eyes finally blink open blearily. body relaxes, and it’s THEN that both eyes and nose clue in to the morning surprise.

a puff of air leaves the werewolf’s snout: a FOND LAUGH. it honestly is a surprise, but it’s a nice one, one which dox will no doubt NEVER bring up. his kindness has always been expressed... in interesting ways.

nosing at the flowers before him for a better whiff of their sweet scent, shiro would smile if this form were capable of it. as it is, fluffy tail instead thumps a soft beat against cushioning. he thinks he might LEAVE the flowers there, if he can  ---  it’s a pleasant sight, and he doubts that dox will have a problem letting them be.

TEMPTING as it is, once he’s finished appreciating the flora, to simply devour the delicious-smelling muffin still waiting for him, that almost seems disrespectful. plus, given it’s still warm, it should be SAVOURED. thus, rather than hork it down between large jaws, wolf shrinks and mere seconds later a hand reaches for the pastry. now the smile that has been waiting finally SHOWS ITSELF, spreading wide as two fingers pinch a chunk of the muffin off to bring to his mouth.

glad to have taken the savouring route, shiro makes note that he’ll have to find something nice to do IN RETURN. ---not because he feels it owed for the nice surprise, but because he WANTS to do something kind for dox. maybe some people like to keep this day exclusively for romance, but he’s always been someone who much more enjoys using it to treat EVERYONE he cares about to something nice. he wouldn’t have thought dox would be the same, but... somehow it’s not all that shocking to discover that he is.

the millennium series by stieg larsson death, violence, suicide mention.  

“i’m a survivor. i do what i have to do to survive.”  

“you’ll have my support if you need it.”

“i’m just a freak, that’s all.”

“you don’t believe in god?”

“thanks for being my friend.”

“sorry. i wasn’t listening.”

“you’re going to have some serious bruises for a while.”

“that was brave but awfully stupid.”

“you look like you just woke up.”

“everyone has secrets. it’s just a matter of finding out what they are.”

“up until then, i had thought about killing myself.” 

“this is… not healthy.”

“what would you do if it was me?”

“i think you’re awake.”  

“would you like company?”

“i’m not a child any more.”

“if your questions piss me off, i won’t answer.” 

“everyone has to have something to believe in.”

“fuck you too. need help?”

“i’m going to kill you!”

“a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, and all that crap.”

“you have to concentrate on getting well.”

“usually it’s other people who don’t give a shit about me.”

“you look like a car crash.”  

“why don’t you want to talk to the police?”

“i can keep a secret, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“you’ve been hurt and had surgery.”

“i need somebody to tell me if i’m doing anything stupid.”

“they’ll twist what i say and use it against me.”

“what kind of weapon is it?”

“what i’m thinking of asking you is unethical and it might be illegal. but morally, it’s the right thing to do.”

“no bones broken?”  

“i wasn’t going to let that motherfucker kill you.”

“go home and get some sleep.”

“if you’re nice to me, i’ll be nice to you.”

“that was a serious mistake.”

“don’t ever do anything for nothing.”    

“that’s not a detail, it’s a whole novel.”

“you’ve had an operation and you’re in the intensive care unit.”

“am i being arrested?”

“you don’t give a shit about other people.”

“i thought you’d died.”

where else can you find me?  i tend to be all over the place, spending time wherever i have the most muse on a given day. should you want to follow me elsewhere, here’s a list of all of my currently active blogs:

bigaoneun:  kang si-u, an original character created for ghost’s undercity (he does have other verses though!). an anxious blind boy with a green thumb & a great deal of pent up rage.

yosulbujog:  baek minjoon, an original character created for a modern setting. an apathetic witch who prefers gaming over witchcraft & makes a living as a streamer.

byanyan:  byan, an original character created for ghost’s undercity (they will have other verses though!). a fiery teen whose hobbies include kicking your ass & stealing your things, all while wearing a hello kitty backpack.

               dawson  “ DOX ”  cox                     penned by ghost

                                               &&

                                                takashi  “ FIFTEEN ”  shirogane                                                                penned by grey

                            --- x.