The Content I Didn't Know I Needed.

New fandom level unlocked: I officially have an AO3 account.

POTO retelling loading. And maybe I'll even overcome my trauma and restart the Jane Eyre fanfic I lost more than a decade ago when my computer was stolen.

Thinking about how Erik wasn't just left alone by people, but also had no support system in the century he was born. His traumas would never be taken seriously (specially considering the men in his time), his mental illness would never be treated, he would probably be locked in an asylum and endure horrific torture if he ever tried to search for help. His abusers were protected by this very system and got away with everything they did to him. He was left down by everyone, even in his family, anywhere he went he was met with abuse, discrimination and ableism, and there was no way to escape this monstrous society other than hiding from it.

Thinking about no matter how much Leroux evidenced Erik's humanity, his nuances, the good he was capable of making, how his crimes were circumstantial (and in a lot of cases even forced), but not from thoughtless sadistic satisfaction, how he had no chance of living as a normal person in the world that casted him out like a 'monster'... he will always be a "villain" in the eyes of so many people. Because it's easier to blame one single person that already doesn't have anything or anyone and is already down on his misery, poverty and trauma, than to aknowledge the very system and society that forced him to live that way. It's easier to create an enemy that won't be accepted by anyone as anything other than an enemy, an 'other'.

Just thinking about how tragic and sadly realistic Erik is.

Was completely unprepared for JRox to snatch my entire soul and now I'm just...unsettled. How am I supposed to sleep?!?!

What drives me absolutely crazy about the 25th Anniversary performance is Ramin Karimloo says a second (nearly imperceptible) "I love you" in the final lair and we don't even get to see it because the cameraperson is in love with a man who played Raoul with all the nuance of a block of wood.

Magnificent Obsession, 1935

advertisement in 'Hollywood'magazine, February 1936 issue

It’s Monday and I’m still thinking about that Cudia boot.

What I love about theatre is that no matter how many times you’ve seen a show or even a particular actor’s performances, there’s always room for surprise. I always liked John Cudia, but that boot was distinct from all his other performances. He just walked into work that day and said “I feel like being more feral than usual.”

Phantoms: Sad Wet Cat or Crazy Bitch?

Inspired by this tweet by @glindaupland (i think). May delete because, well...

Earl Carpenter: Duh, the OG sad wet cat OG.

Kevin Gray: Definitely a crazy bitch, but makes me a sad wet cat watching him.

Ian Jon Bourg: Sad wet cat pretending to be a crazy bitch.

Tim Martin Gleason: Name a difference between his final lair and a kitten left out in the rain?

Hugh Panaro: Psycho bitch who becomes a sad wet cat for 1.5 seconds when he says "my angel."

Davis Gaines: Sad wet crazy bitch.

JOJ: Crazy wet cat.

David Thaxton: Is a crazy bitch because he's a sad wet cat.

Ramin Karimloo: Extra crazy bitch. No cat in him whatsoever, unfortunately.

Jeremy Stolle: Was a sad wet cat in his early days as an understudy but graduated to crazy bitch and sex god in the 2020s.

Greg Mills: People literally call him finger lickin' Greg...but he's still a wet cat.

Ben Crawford: Crazy bitch who swears he's not crazy.

David Shannon: Sad wet cat who is also injured.

John Cudia: Sad wet cat who makes my cat w—*phone dies*

I know the thesaurus abhors seeing me draw nigh

Idk why I did this to myself. But when it comes to Phantom "specs" there's really no one who embodies the character as I imagine him like Davis Gaines did. In addition to just having that slender-but-muscular build, his movements are so elegant--almost balletic. And then you add that ghostly baritone of his and you can easily see how this man poses as both an angel of music and an opera ghost. Just know this is who I'm envisioning in all the fanfics you fine folks are writing.

Gifset dedicated to Davis Gaines's legs...and hands...and everything else.