Severus: Potter.

Like if you’re a #james potter fan, reblog if you’re a #professor mcgonagall fan.

The Marauders After Getting Detention

James: Oh deer

Sirius: Dog gone it

Peter: Rats

Remus: I was un-a-were that these would be the consequences

*muffled giggling*

All of the Marauders in a car, absolutely wankered because “oh sure people are not supposed to drive drunk - it said nothing about WIZARDS driving drunk!” Of course they're pulled over and when the officer reaches the car there's a huge fucking stag at the wheel, a wolf-dog in the back with a rat sat on its head and a furious Remus Lupin in the passenger seat. "I can't - *sigh* - I really can't explain this."

Remus creates the Personally Victimized by Sirius' STUPID PUNS club and almost all of Hogwarts shows up to the first meeting

remus is me. i am remus. monopoly is sacred.

Remus normally: I hate capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work 3 jobs to afford basic necessities.

Remus, playing monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

"What's this?" Lily asked aloud, picking up the folded piece of parchment from the floor. It was blank on both sides. She tried prodding it with her wand, but nothing happened.

"Specialis Revelio!" she whipered.

Again, nothing happened.

Frustrated, Lily tried speaking to it instead. "My name is Lily Evans."

At once, jet black writing began spreading across the map. Lily squinted to try and make out the words.

Mr. Moony would like to ask Lily if she could put the map down now before things get crazy.

Mr. Padfoot would like to tell Lily not to put the map down because he's quite looking forward to Mr. Prongs pooping his pants.

Mr. Moony would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to be quiet.

Mr. Wormtail would like to tell Lily that her hair looks nice today and would also like to ask if Mr. Prongs is doing okay.

Mr. Prongs is not doing okay.

Mr. Padfoot would like to ask Lily if she could find this piece of parchment more often.

Mr. Prongs would like to say that Mr. Padfoot is an arse and would also like to ask Lily if she has ever had feelings for a lad named James Potter.

Mr. Mooony would like to slam his head against the wall.

What is going on? Lily wondered as more writing appeared on the surface of the map.

Mr. Wormtail still thinks that Lily should put this parchment down and walk away.

Mr. Prongs does not want Lily to put this down as he's still waiting for an answer about that whole James Potter thing.

Mr. Padfoot is having the time of his life.

Mr. Padfoot would also like to add that this James fellow seems like an awful human being that smells like dung. Or, at least, that's Mr. Padfoot's impression.

Mr. Prongs would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to SHUT UP.

Mr. Moony apologizes to Lily.

Mr. Prongs would like to say that James Potter is in fact a wonderful bloke and Mr. Prongs has heard that James would make a wonderful boyfriend.

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Prongs is good at being subtle.

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot should go shove his head up his abnormally large arse.

Remus helping the rest of the Marauders study for the O.W.L.s

"Okay," Remus said slowly, making sure his friends were following along. "Let's go over this one more time. If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venemous. Got it?"

"I think so. . ." James said, trailing off uncertainly.

"Wait! I have a few questions!" Sirius yelped. "What if I bite it and it dies?"

"That means you're poisonous," Remus responded dryly.

"What if it bites itself and I die?" Sirius asked.

"That's voodoo."

"Okay, but what if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Remus was starting to get annoyed. "That's correlation, not causation."

"All right, but what if I bite it, and neither one of us die?"

"That's. . . kinky?" Remus said uncertainly. Peter laughed.

When the Marauders found out Remus was a Werewolf

Remus: You don't hate me? But... I'm a werewolf!

James: Remus. See this arm? It's actually shorter than my other arm but you can't really tell. Especially when I twirl like this.

Peter: I'm lactose intolerant.

Sirius: I'm OBNOXIOUS!

Snape: Potter.

James: Snape.

Sirius: Sirius.

James: Okay, you just said your own name, mate.

Sirius: It was the only one left!

Remus: *talking to a girl*

Remus: Would you like to go to Hogsmeade-

Sirius: AWw is little Rem tryna get a date?? that's so CUTE

Remus: Hold on one second

Remus: *reaches in messenger bag for a tennis ball*

Remus: Fetch. *throws ball*

Sirius: *starts sprinting after the ball*

Remus: Where was I?