The Weirdest Guy I Ever Met In A Church Was This Boy Who Referred To “Buzz Aldrin And His Husband”

While we're on the topic of De-aging AU's I wanna talk about Jason and Damian if Jason was 14 again real quick.

Do you guys think that Damian looks at this version of Jason, so different from the version he knows, nothing like the person he was told Jason was, and feels uncomfortably seen?

Damian was always told that Jason died because he was reckless, because he disobeyed orders, he was fired as Robin and he got himself killed. A cautionary tale, not a threat to his position. He dismisses Jason because Bruce does, because Dick does, because sometimes even Babs and Alfred do.

That's not the kid that he's looking at now. This Jason is happy, and smart, and full of love that has not yet soured into grief. He hangs on Bruce's every word, trains until his hands bleed and his body gives out to perfect the moves Bruce teaches him. He looks at Bruce with stars in his eyes and he calls him dad.

And Damian can't help but think, that this is the perfect Robin. The perfect son. And if Jason - sweet, loving, strong, Jason - can be fired, can die and have his room locked away and his pictures torn down, can have his last memory as Robin be as A Good Soldier, how could the rest of them ever compete? What could Damian do to stand a chance?

Jason will never grow out of the shadow of Robin, like the rest of them did. As long as Bruce, and Dick, and Babs, and Alfred look at him and see a dead kid who came back wrong, he will never get to be anything else. He will not get to be looked at through who he is now without the shadow of a dead boy looming over him.

And the worst part? Jason is exactly the same person he was back then. Bitter, sure, angry, justifiably, but he is still the boy with too much love in his heart and righteous fury festering in his gut. He is exactly the same boy who threw himself in front of an explosion to save his mother.

(The lines between the mother that betrayed him and the father that disgraced him are so very blurred. Fire or blade or crowbars or fists it does not matter. It ends the same way it always does because Jason Todd always dies, in every universe, in every timeline, Jason dies and crawls out only to be killed again and again and again.)

literally me

Okay, so I feel like there could be a situation where Percy’s mortal friends (come on, he has at least one or two) end up getting dragged into godly matters by mistake and so they learn Percy is a demigod. Naturally, this is very shocking for them. Well. One of them. The other is pretty chill about it.

At any rate, I'm just picturing them somehow on Olympus and then you get an interaction like:

Friend 1: wait so you're part GOD?!

Percy: uhhh, well-

Friend 2: that explains the weird cursing. Who says ‘Holy Hera’?

Friend 1: Like a GOD?

Percy: *awkward smile*

Friend 2: which god?

Friend 1: A GOD?! Is it a super powerful god?

Percy: oh. uh-

Friend 1: Well?!?!

Percy, looking at Poseidon but also trying to be humble af: um. He’s alright...

Poseidon:

Percy: I mean, he is- like, powerful. Obviously. Being a god and all.

Friend 2: is he more powerful than the average god?

Percy: ummmmm what even is the average god?

Friend 1: omg that makes him sound powerful. Are you a powerful god’s kid?

Percy: no! I mean- sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean that! I meant- he’s, like, uh- well. Okay. Look. He...he is a sea god. So. There's that.

Friend 1: HE IS THE SEA GOD?!?!

Percy: there are actually lots of sea gods!

Friend 2: but is he the one everyone talks about?

Percy: Triton from the little mermaid?

Friend 2: dude

Percy: I'm really trying here. Uh, a little help?

Poseidon: no

Percy:.....that’s fair.

Friend 2: just tell us if your dad is mega powerful

Percy: Fine. Yes. He is. Happy?

Friend 1: AH! Amazing! Are you powerful then?! Have you ever fought a god?

Percy: look, technically-

Friend 2: did you win?

Percy, looking at Ares: Stop. Asking. Questions.

Friend 1: omfg you kicked a god’s ass didn't you?? Who was it?

Percy: …..pls.

Annabeth: it was Ares

Friend 1:

Friend 2:

Friend 1: THE GOD OF WAR?!

“Jason should have ducked”

Jason gave Bruce a gun to shoot him with.

Jason gave him three options but there are only two results. Either Joker dies and Jason is left alive or Joker lives and Jason is too dead to care. That’s not an accident you have to understand.

It’s the most miserable “win if I win, win if I lose” I’ve ever seen set up and it worked. The neck slice moment isn’t just written for shock value it’s a demonstration of the truth of Jason’s point. Sometimes refusing to choose one over the other is just a choice for the other.

I like to think Bella has so many vampire questions that she just randomly thinks of that she has a note in her phone that she just adds each thought to, and each time she goes over to the Cullen house they play a quiz show type game with buzzers where Bella asks her questions and they buzz in to answer. The points aren’t reset at the end of each game so the numbers just keep getting higher and higher

• Edward keeps saying “you can just ask me questions instead of all this stuff” referring to the buzzers, after this he was permanently disqualified for ‘being a bit of a dick’

• Emmett and Jasper are usually either tied or first or are very narrowly in first or second

• Emmett lost 25 points once for trying to buy points by dropping a grizzly bear at a human Bella’s feet ‘just in case she wanted to try’ much to Edwards dismay she found it hilarious and just patted the bear on the head before telling Emmett he should finish it on her behalf

• Jasper also lost 25 points for trying to find out questions beforehand. He kept subtly asking Bella her thoughts on ‘vampire stuff’ and made her feel all warm and fuzzy, she wasn’t happy about this one

• Although the entire family is involved, Esme usually just comes up to Bella later to elaborate on people’s answers. Rosalie is only sometimes interested but gets a kick out of Emmetts entertainment. Carlisle usually sits back with Esme but you’ll occasionally hear a very distinct buzzer away from where Emmett and Jasper stand, Carlisle is sitting in an armchair like some sort of benevolent king with an answer ready and surprisingly humorous

• Alice is very eager, but gets most of her joy from seeing Jasper get points rather than answering things herself. Though if anything even similar to fashion comes up she sees it and buzzes in so fast Bella has barely finished her question

My brosephs

I have been going on and on about wanting a tv show/book/movie about a psychic who has to pass visions off as just being really observant or someone who’s really observant and has to pass observations off as visions for literal years

Apparently nobody thought to mention that something like that very much exists and is amazing

Psych my beloved

Strong Jaskier who doesn't realize how strong he is?

Carrying an injured Geralt on his back like a sack of potatoes, muttering something about reckless witchers.

***

Geralt lifting one of Jaskier’s bags to pass it to the bard, almost tripping because of how heavy it is.

***

Jaskier, bathing shirtless in the river, showing off his ripped torso: Why can't we just go around? I don't want to climb another mountain, Geralt! I'm a delicate man!

Geralt, internally: eyes on his face, eyes on his face

***

Geralt refuses to take a medicine the healer gave him. "I'm fine, Jaskier. It will heal on its ow-"

Jaskier tackling Geralt to the ground, pinning him down. Both knees on Geralt’s shoulders, holding his mouth open, as he forces him to take the medicine. Yes, the same way you give medicine to a cat.

***

Kicking Geralt out of the bed, when the Witcher tries to steal the blanket back.

***

Knocking Geralt down on his ass, when Geralt tries to drag him out of the bed in the morning.

***

Lambert: C'mon, just hit me. I want to see how you throw a punch.

Jaskier: Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you.

Lambert: *snorts* You won't hurt me, bard, c'mon.

Jaskier: ...Okay, then. Here goes nothing. *knocks Lambert unconscious*