npd traits/questioning npd lurker culture is making an npd creature like forever ago but never having a way to share it with anybody because you don’t have a proper social media presence anywhere
little guy for you :]
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I genuinely don’t get the whole shtick that NPD makes you a bad person, for many reasons.
I mean most obviously a disorder doesn’t define you but like, in my experience it’s also just that NPD does the exact OPPOSITE of what people think it does!
it can be a horrible thing to deal with, I won’t deny that. But it has forced me to confront two choices- who I am/who I want to be, and who NPD wants me to be. Like, most people don’t ACTIVELY make the choice not to hurt or manipulate others, but I do because NPD is always influencing my desire to be in control and manipulate others. It’s much more present in my mind which means i HAVE to actively make a choice every day to not hurt other people. So actually, NPD just reveals the kind of person I actually am, which is a good one!
I didn’t choose the emotional struggles that forced me to develop this way, but i DO choose how I react. When I want to yell and hurt, i CHOOSE to be kind instead. I’m not saying that I never fuck up or anything like that, I mean hell y’all have seen me fuck up a lot. but even with all the narc crashes and self esteem issues, I am glad I have NPD because I wouldn’t know how much I care about doing the right thing without it!
i am human and i am flawed because of it but there is an innate capability to connect in the human brain and i think maybe it's okay to start out by connecting to yourself however that may look
"my ex was a narcissist!" and it's just a random dude who can't take accountability because patriarchy
npd culture is seeing someone mass reblog/like my posts and getting a narc high because yesss they love me they liked all of my posts and then followed me they see how important and special I really am
-feral (if not taken)
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not to sound mentally ill, but if I have to face the reality of my existence one more time, I might light myself on fire in hopes to be born anew like a phoenix.
My fellow narcissists (people who have NPD) are one of the most loyal, resilient, and straightforward people I’ve met in my life. I know that our disorder is terribly misunderstood but here’s a reminder that we don’t have to align with unfair treatment pwPDs receive within the mental health advocacy community.
It’s okay to love your narcissism, it’s okay to appreciate the positive and beneficial attributes and qualities it gives us. A lot of us are incredibly protective of our friends, more than a non-NPD individual will ever be - because our disorder makes us so. A lot of us are helpful and incredibly caring individuals because of our NPD, and those closest to us can feel this blanket of care and protection settling over them. A lot of us are self-sacrificial (shocker.) because of our NPD, passionate because of it, or have other pleasant, beneficial, good qualities of character amplified because of our NPD.
I’ll make a rough guess and say that one of the most pleasant people you’ll ever meet are probably narcissists, because it benefits us to be liked, not all of us thrive off negative attention. So, hold your sanism. And to my fellow pwNPD, I love you.
Aside from my seething and raging I will say that I fucking love narcissists. You do not deserve the way the world treats you. You do not deserve being looked down on and shat on and dehumanized and threatened merely for having a traumatic condition beyond your control. You are good and there are people who love you. And I know it hurts sometimes, but that is okay. It’s not your fault. You are not a monster. You are not an abuser. You are not evil or cruel nor are you some unstable unhinged child or whatever other ugly things others or your own brain wants to tell you. I love you, you deserve safety, and there’s always gonna be people in your corner fighting for and fighting alongside you.
Does anyone else with NPD ever get the urge to be emotionally abusive or manipulative? Like obviously you're not going to go and do it because that's bad, but like... having power over someone? making people feel bad? having complete control over their emotions? God I wish I had that sometimes.
the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.
depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.
ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.
and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.
mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.
but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.
Crow | 29 | System | Diagnosed BPD | Questioning NPD | Physically Disabled
156 posts