I'm Not Dead.

thinking about how self-loathing is the core of siffrin's character. so much of siffrin's issues revolve around thinking that there is something inherently, fundamentally wrong with themself. they're disgusting, terrible, a fraud. people only love siffrin because they don't know the truth. but when they do, they'll surely hate siffrin. they'll surely leave siffrin. they'll realize that siffrin is not, and never was, worthy of their time or attention or love. it's only a matter of time.

but then loop is confronted with an alternate version of themself. and they act like a jerk sometimes, but they also show so much genuine care for siffrin's wellbeing. they try to tell siffrin to let go of the things that hurt him, they try to talk siffrin out of doing things he'll regret, they get mad on siffrin's behalf when he's wronged by others. when siffrin is in need of help, they push aside their personal reservations and hurt and complicated feelings about seeing their friends again to do what is necessary to get siffrin that help he needs.

and siffrin, though they find loop annoying, is fond of them. they care about loop deeply and see loop as someone important to them. when asked by loop to kill them, he laughs and says he doesn't hate himself so much that he would literally kill another version of him. finding out that loop was themself all along doesn't make them think any more negatively of loop. it doesn't change how he feels about them. loop is loop. they are siffrin, and they are siffrin's friend.

there's something about looking at yourself from an outsider's perspective, and not feeling any of that instinctual disgust that so often follows you everywhere you go. seeing yourself as what you are, a person. as someone who is flawed, and being able to recognize that those flaws don't make you irredeemable. realizing that you aren't as terrible as you thought you were. and that despite everything, you are deserving of love. because the proof is right in front of you.

Nine Sols fandom let me in pllsssss

call me fighter, i'll mop the floor with you!

Oh my god they killed Hossam Shabat

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

Choose your Snufkin!!

Big the Cat Therapist

Doodle is a result of a convo I had with a friend btw. We both headcanon that Big always knows what to say and that’s why Shadow likes him 😌.

“You don’t have to be The Ultimate Lifeform all the time. Sometimes you can just be Shadow”

Rivulet fandesign quirk I just kinda find funny