THE ONE DAY I DON"T CHECK IT

Scratch it...

I DON"T BELIEVE Y- wait *scrolls through ur account* ok you right

*spits up blood & looks up, smirking* heh, torture me all you like but ill never tell you the answer to the sphinxs riddle, because im stupid as fuck, & dont know it

no they should say pretty colour because of the british

One part of me wants to say "brat album cover" the other part wants to say "pretty colour"

why is it that, when you order pizza, it's ok-ish, BUT when you reheat it in the microwave 2 days later it tastes like the best thing ever

^^^ this post was made by a man eating leftover pizza

THE RED BALL SHOTGUN

with generous donations from the Nerf company

... you do realize that he's convicted of several counts of murder, right?

its ok unvale, we forgive you

final jokers i swear

Meteor (Uncommon): When hand is played, destroys one card from the chosen hand, and permanently adds its chip count to poker hands chips.

Joke Book (Rare): retriggers all triggering Jokers, flips over all Jokers.

Loose Hook (Uncommon): when sold, 1/2 chance to copy last sold card.

Entity (Rare): Random effect every round. (effects listed after this entry:)

- Debuffs all played cards, x3 Mult (1/4 Chance)

- Pass blind immediately after selection (1/8 Chance)

- +40 Mult, -1 Mult for every card discarded (3/8 Chance)

- Increases first played poker hand by 2 levels, -10 Mult when triggered (1/2 Chance)

- No effect (1/4 Chance)

Timed Bomb (Uncommon): x1 Mult, increases by x1 for every round played. self destructs itself and Jokers to left and right in 5 rounds (rounds shown count downwards till destruction)

Package Of Meat (Uncommon): +40 Mult, divides itself in two after hand is played, along with mult given. (Destructs after 6 divisions) (if no space is given to divide, only mult is halved)

Crayon (Uncommon): Randomly shuffles first drawn hands suit.

Blind Spot (Common): x1 Mult, gain x0.25 Mult per debuffed or flipped over card played.

Simpleton (Uncommon): x3 Mult, loses x0.05 Mult per every card/effect gained.

Down On Your Luck (Uncommon): x1 Mult, Gains x0.1 Mult per untriggered lucky card in played hand.

4th Wall (Rare): x1 Mult, gain x1 Mult per won run.

Vandalization (Uncommon): Debuffed cards are no longer debuffed.

god i love balatro, had to make some jokes

below are some descriptions (upper left to bottom right)

Rorschach Joker (Uncommon): Gives +2 mult when Pair, Two Pair, and Four Pair are played

Coffee Stain (Common): all cards played in first hand are added to final hand

Self Joker (Rare): All hands are added together, self-destructs after 6 hands

Hand-Drawn Joker (Common): 1's, 2's, and 3's are counted again

Stamp (Uncommon): Cards with stamps are added to mult

Infiniti (Legendary): Mult provided is doubled after every action (starts at 1)

Rip-Off Joker (Common): All prices in shop are halved

Drawer (Uncommon): Adds the discarded cards back into the draw pile

Question Mark (Uncommon): Copies a random Jokers effects

fixed ur dogshit ad <3