Most Common Thought: Damn Haha Im Going To Have To Deal With That Sooner Or Later

tumblr is such a unique experience in 2021 because it’s probably the only place on the internet, or in real life, really, where there is absolutely no point. there is no agenda, and no purpose, it’s just a place i can create this little bubble of art, and self-expression, and poetry, and live in it peacefully. scrolling through my blog and appreciating photography, fashion, literature, etc. just feels like a beautiful respite from everything outside of this website? no news no performance no productivity just pure vibes

10 Feet Away

my mind wants to get away.

so that I can just be alone, so I can’t hurt anyone else,

especially you.

I feel like a threat

and I can't get away

yet here I am, only 10 feet away

I Miss the Way You Made Me Feel.

i miss the feeling of your lips on mine

how delicately you kissed me

always making sure i was okay in between each one

i miss your breath on my skin

the goosebumps you caused

with something as simple as air

i miss how your hands felt on my body

tracing my outline

with the slightest of touch

never going too far

i miss how safe i felt when you held me

and the way you’d gently kiss my head

your arms holding me just tight enough

i miss your gentle eyes

how beautiful they were

i miss your smile

and how perfectly it sat on your face

especially the times when you would smile in between each kiss

i miss the way you looked at me

like i was the most beautiful being you’d ever seen

i miss how you’d point out each of my insecurities and tell me how much you loved them

telling me i was worth something

i miss how special you made me feel

and i miss so much more about what you did

but what’s most important is

i don’t miss you.

Your Little Things

when the wind starts to pick up

and the storms come,

sit with me

and see all your little things.

like the way you look at me.

with those eyes,

and how they’ve never told me lies.

or how as you fall asleep,

you fall into me.

or when you’re happy,

how your eyes shine like the stars.

and your smile,

makes me want to walk the isle.

or even when you’re sad,

and you come to me,

i promise i won’t get mad.

i only want you to see

the beauty that you have.

so when your storms come,

sit with me in the rain.

and we’ll find all your little things

Friendly reminder: when people say ‘as long as you tried your best’ it doesn’t mean ‘the best you could possibly have done ever’ it means ‘the best you were capable of at the time.’ Sometimes ‘trying your best’ is just getting out of bed in the morning. Just because you weren’t working yourself to the bone doesn’t mean you weren’t trying your best. 

fires trickle through my veins

fires i know i have lit

the ache in my bones weigh me down

no matter how light i make myself

feeling the weakness in my heart

barely pumping blood to my torn body

and yet i still smile

because this is the way,

the only way they’ll love me.

“All we know

Is that stars will fall

And holidays come and go”

Emotional Abuse

Some people won’t believe you

Because your scars are hidden

Way beneath your skin

People only believe what they can see

And that should be a sin

her body is so broken

and yet she’s still fighting

with no one standing by her side

she’s fighting

for herself

against herself

and the cycle never ends

As they laughed and pointed

I stood there

Half frozen in the 20 degree weather

My legs were purple

and not just from the cold

I acted like I could withstand the pain

So they’d see I was strong

But I guess I was wrong

I hoped they’d stop

I smiled and laughed

As they beat me down

But I’d always get up

I had to

I covered my legs

So no one could see

The pain on the outside of me

So I know you’re trying to help

But I’ve turned cold

Like my body

The days I was out on that field