Save Me Tormented Fictional Man… Please Tormented Fictional Man Save Me

I love you villains who try so hard to redeem themselves but no one lets them. I love you villains who never feel remorse, only the hurt that’s been done to them and the endless rage about it. I love you villains who are soft but clearly try to hold up their facade because they are afraid of being perceived as weak. I love you villains who bend and break the world for a (lost) lover/loved one. I love you villains who bend and break the world because they never experienced anything good in it. I love you villains who are so emotionally unstable everybody is constantly afraid they will lash out any second. I love you villains who are so so apathetic and cold inside, like their heart is made of ice. I love you villains who give the hero jealous looks because it could have been them, if life had been just a little less cruel. I love you villains who are insecure. I love you villains who turn pain into radical passion. I love you villains who are highschool bullies that just suffer through child abuse at home but no one knows. I love you villains who give their all for the one shred of love that is being handed to them by the narrative, knowing they will kill it with their rotten hands and yet proceed because h o p e infects even the darkest mind. I love you villains who were doomed from the beginning. I love you villains who have all the best intentions but a very fucked up way to go about their goals. I love you villains who don’t know what it feels like to not be in pain. I love you villains who are just some guy. I love you villains that are evil for the sake of being evil. I love you villains that are evil because someone said they couldn’t. I love you cliché villains. I love you villains who confusedly soften up a little when someone treats them like a human being for once. I love you queer-coded villains. I love you villains who were forced to eat cement when they were six. I love you dramatic villains. I love you villains that aren’t actually evil, the narrative just hates them. I love you villains that are just some teen girl with mental health issues. I love you villains that get the long awaited happy ending. I love you villains that never kill the hero because then they would feel really bored and lonely. I love you villains who know exactly they are turning into one but continue anyway. I love you villains who criticise societal norms and the flawed status quo. I love you villains who wake up from violent nightmares all the time. I love you villains who don’t have a single glimpse of light in their empty eyes. I love you villains who are children that were manipulated into doing awful things. I love you i love you i love you i love you villains.

i hate it when people are writing a long ass thing and start a parenthetical aside and forget to close parentheses it makes me feel like i cant escape from the sentence

Writing is so much fun! You can be like "I should process this" and just go nuh-huh, see, I'm going to make up a guy and have them process it for me. Not me! It's the guy I made!

Writing my OCs and getting attacked by cute aggression I NEED to SQUEEZE them right NOW!

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

what i've been up to the past 20 minutes

at the insane stage of character obsession where i start getting the urge to post pngs of them every five seconds like im showing ppl a picture of my stupid ass boyfriend that nobody likes but me

when a character i love and care for has to face the consequences of their previous actions

how it feels being a Plotter having Pantser friends only