Chiron And Mr D: Now That You've Trained At Camp For One (1) Week It's Time For You To Embark On A Quest

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I don’t know how else to explain it. If someone says something to me that initially hits as horribly transphobic, I’m going to be hurt. However, if, after I confront them about it, they go “Oh no! Jesus no, that’s nowhere near what I intended to say, I mean X” - well, I now feel a hell of a lot better. I like knowing people aren’t actually trying to hurt me.

So yeah - knowing someone’s intent can drastically alter the impact, especially if the impact was negative. It can literally fix a horrible case of miscommunication that could’ve resulted in a permanent rift in a friendship.

But I’ve been in communities where trying to have the second half of that conversation is “abuse” and “invalidating their pain”.

No! It’s actually a really fucking important part of communication! And to silence that second half of the interaction results in no one learning anything, no one healing, and everyone remaining hurt.

Person 1 remains offended, thinking their friend meant to say something transphobic. Person 2 remains hurt because now everyone thinks they’re transphobic.

The pain of being misinterpreted is not and should not be dismissed, and fuck anyone who tries to do so to me in the future.

Two rules for creating anything.

1) Make it weird.

2) Make it with love.

Loosely based off the brilliant AO3 fanfic “Too Wise to Woo Peaceably” by @feralbutfluffy

(Ack! I had FeralbutFluffy’s name backwards! Edited to fix)

Wine + Someone you’re totally crushing on + avoiding discorporation TWICE in one night= Sexy Results

@toowisetowoopeaceably

If you like frogs. Or possums. Or cool builds. Or happiness. This is the video for you.

You ever just... Have that URGE to have a pen pal. Like, yes, having online friends is cool and fun and nice and all but I miss the long-form communication that comes with letters. I want someone I can write an elaborate letter to about all that has happened the last few months, only to recieve their letter a month later with all their little details of their past few months. I want the knowledge that somebody chose the paper, chose the pencil, chose the envelope, and put in all that effort just to tell me how they have been.

Look, logically I know that telling the demons to go away will do nothing. Logically I know that I must give them attention and care, that I must model good behavior and kindness for them.

But MAN do I wish shooing them away worked because it is just so much easier and feels so much more successful to actively forget they exist.

The line of "students feel like they aren't being respected" is extra striking when you remember that this article was not respected. Like, I get that they might not want it due to the name-dropping of a specific teacher which could lead to harassment of the teacher... But I feel it is much more likely that they had problems with the questioning the nature of authority and respect in this case.

My school newspaper didn't allow me to publish this hat investigation article so im posting it here instead

Most students are aware wearing a hat in school is just as much of a crime as vandalism of a classroom. I’m certain many students have stopped to ask themselves, “Why is this such a big deal?” and I’m even more certain the teachers would answer “it’s just tradition”. We all know, however, that this answer isn’t good enough. School is a space for education, so why shouldn’t we be educated on this rule?

Many teachers will simply tell you the hat rule is due to tradition or that it’s respectful, but what does that actually mean? Tradition goes back a long way. In the earlier 1900’s, removing your hat was a sign of respect and humbleness. You would remove your hat indoors, when it wasn’t necessary to cover your face from the sun. In fact, the tradition can stem all the way back to the earlier 1400’s, where knights were asked to remove their helmets to show their faces to nobility. But do hats truly obscure faces? Why do we ban every hat if only a few obscure faces?

Back to the respect aspect, people hinge heavily on the idea of being respectful. Have you ever felt your argument was valid, so a teacher or parent tells you that your words were “disrespectful”? Respect seems to be a way to give teachers more power, more authority. Some would say we should be respectful to all around us, and while this is true, should we remove our hats for everyone? What is respect, in its entirety?

There are two different versions of respect, I believe. There is the respect in that you treat someone like an authority, like they are above you, and the respect in that you would treat a fellow human with kindness. Students believe, generally, that they are being put into strict boxes, given mountains of different rules, or that they have to play mind games with their teachers just to comply with their different sets of rules, and none of that is mentioning the education itself. Students feel like they aren’t being respected.

On the other hand, some teachers believe they have no choice but to be authoritarian toward their students. Our school’s own Mr. Bake believes he had no choice during the single year he taught seventh graders but to be “dictator-like”. He had to be treated like an authority, and he did not give humane respect to the students in turn.

We are commonly mistaught about respect. We are taught from a young age to treat authority like they should be respected on a higher level than those on the same social level as us. We are taught not to question, to just believe in tradition. Some authority figures will say, “if you do not respect me, I will not respect you.” But they do not understand the two versions of respect. If you do not treat me like an authority, I will not treat you like a human.

The hats represent self expression. Freedom. Trust. These things are taken from students; they’re told how to dress and how to think, and the teachers feel they have no choice but to oppress the students. Balance and trust are difficult to obtain, but if we understand respect properly, we can learn to respect our teachers as fellow humans, and they can learn to respect us as much as we do them.

Sources Cited:

Eric Soloman, Why Are Hats Not Allowed In School?, Spectrum News

Mark, Hat Etiquette: Should You Still Take Off Your Hat Off At Dinner, During the National Anthem, Etc? Acme Hat

Jennifer Hurley, A Student’s View on Oppression in Education

Mr Bake, Personal Interview

Ok thanks for reading