Negative Affirmations

…iiii cannnnnn try?

having a hard time caring about anything, feels inevitable that i will kill myself

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

nobody:

me: *likes a post*

my ocd: was that post you liked actually good? what if that person is secretly bad and people find out and then you're a bad person by association because you liked their post? what if this post has secret dogwhistles that you don't know about? and by liking it that means you agree with it! reread it 30 times until all the words don't even seem like words anymore and the meaning is mush! what? you can't tell if it is a bad™ post? see, you actually are a bad person because a good person would be able to tell. you are going to hell now! you need to think at least 5 'good' things so you can counteract your eternal damnation!!! now now now now NOW NOW NOW!!!!

TW - this is a vent poem that contains allusions to topics such as depression, sh, and passive suicidal ideation. It’s not explicitly about religion but it does use a ‘devil’ as a metaphor.

Be safe <3

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There’s a devil on my shoulder

He’s a nasty little thing,

but his whispers are so sweet

A blade tipped with honey, coaxing him to me

I don't remember when he came

Maybe he rode along on the agony of last November

Or maybe he's always been there

Nestled in the back, hiding away in a cloak of laughter

And each day his questions are more and more tempting

When the cloak is stripped away,

When the light of the day fades

I’m left alone to fight this silver tongued enemy.

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Stay safe out there yall, my DMs are open if anyone needs anything.

Remember, it’s never worth it, no matter how tempting it may seem,

Sorry for having symptoms of a mental illness I literally told you I have it will happen again

A relapse doesn’t erase the progress you made by staying clean.

If you’ve been clean for a day, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a week, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for a month, I’m proud of you.

If you’ve been clean for longer, I’m proud of you.

If you relapsed after being clean for a while, I’m proud of you for staying clean however long you did. A relapse isn’t the end of the world. I’m still proud of you for everything you did to try to stay clean.

If you have tried to stay clean and failed, I’m proud of you for trying. It’s hard, I know. Don’t give up. I’m proud of you.

No matter what, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for everything. I’m proud of you for being alive right now. Don’t say you don’t deserve this, because you do. You very much do.

Thank you for existing.

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

i fucking hate it here

“He didn’t pass as a boy, and he made for a terribly ugly girl.”

fuck.