How To Draw Arms ? ? 

Actually life is beautiful because the sound I make while trying to breathe around hot food sounds like my dog trying to eat an apple. When I yawn my cat tries to put his face in my mouth like a little dentist man and when he yawns I put my finger in his obligate-carnivore trapzone and we both know he will not hurt me. When I do not fold my clothes, they do not hold it against me.

I am demonstrably sad, and lonely, and full of fear. But there are other people who will hold my hand, who will point out the hawk overhead, who will give you That Look in a public place. The other day at a coffee shop a child said "look! It's snowing!" so all of us strangers went to go look out the windows. It wasn't the first snow and it won't be the last but wasn't it lovely, like that?

How wonderful to live in a world where birds and frogs both say beep! How wonderful to have an ocean of beautiful sharks with their dinosaur teeth! How wonderful the moon and her changing face, how wonderful the bees and their dancing to communicate, how wonderful shrimp and their forbidden layers of vision! How wonderful, you, and what you will give the world! The way we love things enough to spend entire blogs devoted to them? How people will let me explain my Pokemon team to them? How we will both jump at the scare in the movie, how we laugh so loudly, how it feels to give someone your baking? How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting.

This is the process of getting better. With wonderful people and wonderful strangers and wonderful friends: I am getting better, slowly. Thank you, whoever you are. In some way, you've been wonderful, and left a wonderful place in the world to ripple out to me. In some small way - isn't it beautiful - I promise, you've been helping.

“I would say it was Dad who implemented all of this […] my alienation through procedures, through harsh […] all followed for fear of the alternative. And to an ex[tent?] […] true. I can’t forgive what he did to me - but somet[…] where Dad’s actions ended and my siblings’ beg[an] […] consider what a mind, especially a young mind […] harness when put into dire situations, it’s not […] believe that my siblings learned cruelty from […] [ev]entually made it their own. It wasn’t just th[e] […] of top-secret meetings, anymore. It jus[t] […] [wou]ld sit at the end of the table, so Die[go] […]ique, or so Allison could paint Klaus’ […]omed to sulking and watching the […] oatmeal went uneaten and […] 

(p.???)

      Meals became the only time of day […] to be together - and I met them with equal parts […] and dread. Would today be the day I [engaged Allison?] […] stand up to Diego’s taunts? Maybe I’d show Five […] I’d been working on for years.       Though prone to arrogance and […] than the average preteen, Five was my sole confidant years before he [disappeared] […] It almost seemed fitting […] the siblings to leave […] ////////////// Dad’s manipulation […]

[Five’s hand obscures the page.]

      One morning […]   ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// behind, I think I even […] from home following me when […] a bus stop, and I sat there all day long  […] //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  had thought I was alone my future life […] something new and entirely different. I was afraid of what […] and would [choose Dad’s torment any day?] dark stretched down our street. […] waved the kind drivers away. That night I walked  […] front doors, and no one knew I had ever left to […] I wonder how long it would have […] extra girl they never needed was […] To this day, I’m not sure. The next time […] when we all did. After what happened to […] everyday existence was full of evidence that Dad […] into […] experiments. Not children […]mals. And what  happened to Ben was the […] shattered the illusion for the others. I […] all along what they realized that day. I didn’t […] to leave on my own. It wasn’t until Allison […]ood and Diego [cursed out?] the old man […] were ultimately a broken family. […] that my family would accept me into the fold. I […] [as] long as there was a [club?] to […] to […] notice me and invited me to. Everyone would […]ya, we can’t believe we’ve wasted so much […] you’re our sister after all.       […] it was then that I realized something […]ing for me to aspire to be anymore. It was liberat[ing] […] that I had wanted for as long as I could remember […]y fallen apart. Without The Umbrella Academy […] [fre]edom to be whomever I chose. Suddenly, my violin [was]n’t stupid - it was something that made me special.” 

(p.??-??)

Extracts from Vanya Hargreeves, Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven,[TUA 1X05]

Things to conclude from this extract:

Reginald Hargreeves was an A-grade Bad Dad, whose iron fisted rule ensured the children internalised Vanya’s exclusion from the ‘club’, and would ostracise her from any social activities from a young age. Vanya attributes this in part to the ‘dire situation’ of their childhood under Reginald’s strict tutelage, but cannot forgive their inability to think for themselves.

Five & Vanya: Five was Vanya’s sole confidant, but despite this, she spent years working on something (perhaps practising her violin?) without sharing it with him or anyone else, for fear of rejection and ridicule. 

Vanya & the others: perhaps felt intimidated by Allison (did not feel confident enough to ‘engage’ her - in conversation? Confrontation?) and was taunted by Diego.  

Vanya ran away: she went so far as to spend all day sitting at a bus stop, wondering if anyone would miss her. However, she lacked the confidence to run away, and returned to the Academy - where no one had noticed she was gone. 

Reginald’s Star Pupil: It’s implied Reginald felt the loss of Five acutely, and trained the other children past even the most tenuous ethical guidelines to compensate for his absence. It was not until Ben died, possibly as a result of these experiments, that the others finally started thinking for themselves. However, even now, they did not realise their treatment of Vanya, and did not welcome her ‘into the fold’.

Diego swore at Reginald, probably until he was blue in the face. 

Something special: Vanya realised her hopes for reconciliation with her siblings were ultimately empty. All those ‘extraordinary’ people in her life were still cruel, even without Reginald’s guiding hand. But for Vanya, it was a moment of epiphany. Where her violin had once been an embarrassment in comparison to the talents of her siblings, it was now something special all its own.   

Something else to consider: Why is this (the part about his own preteen angst and disappearance) the passage Five reads as he considers the error in his calculations? Is it a fixed point in time? Is this the ‘quantum state version’ of himself he projected himself into?  

can not get over Miss Vanya Hargreeves having absolutely no memories and then a 15 year old in a terrible uniform pops up and is like 'hey you're my sister we're superheros the apocalypse is this week let's go' and she just,,,,accepted that lmao

Ooo can you do some hc's or a fic where Richie's feeling like dead weight to the group, and starts to seperate himself because he feel like he's annoying everyone?

holy guacamole just stab me in the heart okay also btw this is modern

-richie’s always known he was annoying

-certain people just kinda know

-he’s been told so many times, by his peers and parents alike so he’s just kind of come to accept it. he makes jokes to cope with childhood trauma. he oversexualizes things because he’s scared of his sexuality, it just be like that sometimes

-but recently he’s been feeling kinda different and it’s hard for him to articulate it but it just feels wrong. 

-it started as a joke actually. go figure right? richie ends up being the butt of his own joke. he wanted to see if he could go the whole day without contacting his friends. he didn’t anything on instagram or snapchat. didn’t respond to anybody’s stories. no texts or calls or memes or likes or anything. 

-and it’s not like he expected some big hoopla in the groupchat like OMG WHERE’S RICHIE IS HE DEAD but he at least anticipated some sort of reaction

-maybe from stan y'know? like “this groupchat isn’t making me want to kill. myself, where’s rich?” but no. there was nothing. and it wasn’t like the chat was dead either, bill was going off on this whole big rant about the solar system or some lame shi like that and not once for the entire day did anyone say anything to or about richie 

-he didn’t receive any calls or texts sending him things or asking where he was. and that made him feel something painful in his chest. so he tried it again the next day, maybe it was a fluke. maybe everyone was just busy with their own things to notice richie’s little experiment. but the next day was the same as the first, there was no sign of richie and no one seemed to notice

-this little experience led richie down a dark path. he eventually started wondering how big of a nuisance he actually was. how annoying did the others really find him? had he really overestimated how much his friends cared about him for this long? and you might think this is dramatic but hello this is richie tozier

-and maybe richie would try to like not go to school just to see if anyone would notice but he ends up going anyway because contrary to popular belief my boy’s wicked smart and he wouldn’t want to fall behind on his work

-so he goes to school but he’s quiet and that’s very different for him. he refrains from making ‘your mom’ jokes, he’s not really laughing at anything or doodling. he just goes, does his work, and goes home. 

-this routine continues for like two days before bev is finally like ‘alright asshole what gives are you sick or something?”

-and he’s like no?? wym

-”you’ve been quiet and a little mopey all week and it’s giving me the heebee jeebies what’s up with you?”

-so he explains what he’s been feeling “not like anyone would care but” and he tells bev that he’s felt like deadweight and unimportant and she almost crIES because richie is her best friend and she feels terrible for making him see himself that way

-bev tells him that she’s so incredibly sorry for making him feel obsolete and he’s like “it’s really okay like #notmad and it wasn’t just you anyway”

-so naturally bev tells EVERYONE and they all show up to richie’s house after school and swarm him with apologies and hugs and richie’s almost crying bc 1. he’s a big baby and 2. he loves his friends so much?? and affection is the best??

-eddie starts crying (obvs) just talking about how much he loves his boy and that he was just swamped with homework but that didn’t mean that richie wasn’t important 

-mike and ben obviously give richie the bIGGEST hugs of his entire life and sidenote: mike and richie are pals and whenever richie feels upset he goes to mike for a hug and mike just kinda holds him for 5ever but that’s only ever in private but he’s doING IT RIGHT NOW because he loves richie & doesn’t care who knows it

-bill’s like “i l-love you m-m-man, i never would’ve got this f-f-far without you” and bev is like “i tOLd you we loved you”

-stan is kind of shook the most because he calls richie annoying on the daily so he feels bad but richie’s like “no ur my best friend you have the right to call me annoying”

-they all have a big sleepover and live happily ever after bc richie is feeling loved and appreciated the end 

when will i find my emotional support white man

SITES FOR WRITERS

Fantasy name generator

Fighter’s block - try to defeat a monster by writing

Child’s Traits Calculator ; predict a child’s appearance 

Child’s Traits Calculator ; predict other traits

Fifty Plot Twist Ideas For Your Work-In-Progress!

Name generator (Character, Baby, Last name, etc.)

Plot generator ; Inspiration for your next novel, film or short story

Character generator ; Generate Rich Characters in Seconds

Writing Exercises ;  This site provides (completely free) writing prompts and exercises to help you get started with creative writing and break through writing blocks. 

Notebook ; create your characters, worlds, objects, places, etc. and save them

Festisite ; Create a fake license, marriage certificate, credit card, ticket and you can find other stuff as well.

The most common last names in the US

Lists of most common surnames

List of most popular given names

List of the least common surnames [last names] in America, rank 16,001-20,000

Fantasy name generator (again)

Random Name Generator (Choose origins, gender, etc.)

Said is dead (Remember that you can use said, don’t use it to less.)

How Much Blood Can The Human Body Lose? 

How Long Can Someone Go Without Breathing?

The 6 Types of Collars Every Man Should Know by Name 

18 Different Types of Sleeves Design Patterns

What are the most widely practiced religions of the world?

Differences Between a Short Story, Novelette, Novella, & a Novel

Hemingway editor ;  It grades your writing by its readability. 

Zen writer ; writing without distractions (Might not be free after a while)

33 Ways to Write Stronger Characters

75+ bad habits for your character

30 SCENE IDEAS FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

10 Things Writers Don’t Know About The Woods

British and American terms

Free writing worksheets

Feel free to add more!

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

body language masterlist

a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

550 words to say instead of fuckin said

638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

some more body language help 

au where Ray, Sissy and Harlan come back to the future with the academy and Klaus makes a big event of locking everyone in the library and giving a ridiculous powerpoint that’s like ‘How To Speed Run The Past 70 Or Whatever Years’ (Five from where he’s been handcuffed to the bar: “it’s 55 you dumbass-). highlights include:

- opening with a picture from the jfk assassination (since they were all a little busy when that was going on) with a big :( drawn over it

- a fifty minute long side-tracked rant about the Vietnam war that only Five is interested in

- “And finally, after a long, painful battle for the sensible people of the world…the Beatles were Defeated”

- “Highlight this note because it WILL be on the test later- Britney Spears was born on December 2nd, 1981″

- “So one day in 1989 43 babies with magic powers were born from women who hadn’t been pregnant, and like? you know? no one ever really looked into that further? we’re in our 30s, I feel like we should have some answers by now?’

 “Speaking of 1989, there’s this fantastic album-” 

   Vanya: “Klaus they don’t need to know who Taylor Swift is-”

   Diego: “Let Him Speak.”

- “And on this day I was innocently reading a magazine and discovered my previously beloved sister Allison is friends with Beyonce and she never bothered to introduce me or invite me to a single party-” *powerpoint slide switches to a picture with Allison’s head photoshopped onto a snake* *Sissy asks who Beyonce is and that turns into another sidetracked explanation that takes nearly two hours and involves Everyone screaming*

- “And this is when Luther went to the moon-”

   Ray: “the…moon? the fucking moon?”

   Klaus: “didn’t the moon landing happen for you guys yet?”

   Allison: “no that was ‘69???”

   Klaus: “FUCK”

   Luther: “Can you try to go in order? You didn’t even tell them Dad’s an alien yet-”

  everyone: W H A T?!!?!?!!?!

- 2004: the tragic beginnings of Vanya’s weaboo stage 

- 2006: Diego has his first kiss with an Ambassadors daughter after a mission and IMMEDIATELY pukes on her after they finish. (next slide features news footage of the event; Luther has to hold Diego back from attacking Klaus while everyone else is losing their shit)

- “Klaus I really don’t think Twilight counts as a historical event”

   Five: “No, actually, it does-”

- *2 hours spent infodumping about Chernobyl while his audience gets progressively more drunk*

- “Klaus, can we please move on from the 90s already-”

  “THEY NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MEDIA DID TO WINONA RYDER”

- footage of Allison’s Less Than Graceful reaction when she got snubbed at the Oscar’s one year

- at some point he tries to explain Modern Speak™ and Internet Culture™ to them and it ends up going like this:

- “anyway here’s a list of probable war crimes our dad committed”

- *explanation of Ellen DeGeneres’ entire career from start to finish*

- *footage of 14 year old Luther dancing like he got a touchdown after he killed a man in battle*

- Cha Cha Slide: The Song That Changed Everything

- he slips an Entirely Fake historical event in there just to prank them and his siblings try to call him out on it but then Five backs him up because he’s drunk and wants to cause problems. Three Years Later Ray will still mention something about like The Fall Of Telephonia that resulted after a bloody battle between the two rulers and whoever he’s talking to just like. smiles and nods politely

- “And here’s the news clip where 10 year old Five found out on live air that Santa Claus isn’t real. We literally never saw him smile ever again after this”

- he starts explaining Kardashian/Jenner scandals as if they’re political scandals

but anyway. not the most educational lesson plan but I want everyone to have a break and laugh thank you goodnight lmao

How to enjoy writing more

I’ve seen, shared, and created plenty of posts about how to make your writing better, but I’ve decided, fuck that. It is 2020 and everything feels like crap and here’s a guide for how to enjoy your own writing more.

(Obviously! Like everything! Not all of these will work for everyone! These are just reminders for people who feel they could be a little sillier in their writing!)

1. Write at your own pace! It seems simple but deadlines that you can’t reach won’t help you. (And don’t force yourself to do Nano when it’s not your style.)

2. Write fanfic! All types of fanfic! Shitty OCs, OOC interpretations of characters, self inserts, etc etc etc. Write it without the intention of posting anywhere.

3. Write fanfic… of your own stories. Canon is a construct but that soulmates AU is real if only you write it.

4. Mercilessly switch between WIPs! Abandon them whenever you get bored! Write only the most interesting scenes!

5. Write without a plot! You don’t need to have conflict to have fun.

6. Fuck plot continuity. Write the scenes that make you happy. If they don’t line up? Who gives a shit.

7. If you read something you wrote and it’s not finished, don’t feel guilty. Just. Don’t. Your stories don’t deserve finishing; they provided you happiness as you wrote them, and that’s what’s important. (It’s the process, not the product.)

8. If you write something that’s sad, make it cathartic instead of depressing. Angst is great and all, but don’t stack sad scene upon sad scene for the sake of sadness.

9. Fuck genre. It’s okay if you aren’t sure whether your story is sci-fi or fantasy, it’s okay if you include random paranormal aspects in your historical romance, it’s GREAT if you blur the line between realistic and speculative. Don’t trap yourself in history which has been built upon marketability.

10. Write like no one’s ever gonna read it. It will help you in the long run. It doesn’t matter if it slows your “objective” improvement, it will help you feel less dependent on validation from others and make you write because–and only because–you want to write.

Season 1 finale:

“I love him. I probably always will. But lately that love just hurts.”

Season 2 finale:

Michael: “It’s a sad story me and Alex. I have to walk away so we can start a new one someday. It’s not our time.” Isobel: “But it will be.” Michael: “I think so.” 

If that’s not a glow up I don’t know what is.