Dire Crowley - Blog Posts
🪶The Crow’s Fledgling🪶
(Dire Crowley)
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
Summary: Headmaster Dire Crowley is generous, simple as that. But why? What’s in it for him to be kind to you?
Such a question races through your mind persistently when you are given a strange letter from him. Why does he keep you around? You’re magicless and penniless. Utterly useless.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
Headmaster Crowley was like a to-do list that never ended. Whether it was organizing his filing cabinet, mopping the dining room floor, or taking pictures of the students for the yearbook, he always kept you on your toes.
And today was no exception.
You had just finished helping some Heartslabyul students deadhead the rose garden when Grim came bounding up to you with a letter in his mouth. You recognized the black wax seal, bearing the NRC crest, and cringed.
What does Crowley want with me now? you thought.
"No doubt it's a load of orders," said Grim, seemingly reading your mind. "Crowley doesn't seem to let you have a day off."
Your face fell.
"Listen," he said. "I'm not fond of lettin' my henchman slack-off, but I could always burn the letter and pretend you never saw it."
"You would do that for me?"
"Sure. In exchange for an extra can of tuna."
You internally sighed. Of course, you thought. There has always got to be a reward in it for you.
You glared as Grim curled up under the shade of a rosebush, gloating about how he could relax and you couldn't. The letter in your hand began to feel like lead. The choice to ignore Crowley and have a free evening was irresistible. You were tired, hungry, and still had a mountain of homework to tackle. But, as you took a moment to think about it, could you really afford to say no to Dire Crowley?
Calling it 'generosity' to give you a derelict dorm and force you to work for him had made you laugh at first, but in all honesty, it was generous of him. You had woken up in a random world with no network and nothing to your name. And with no knowledge about Twisted Wonderland or a drop of magic in your veins, you were defenseless and witless. Yet, Dire Crowley had allowed you to stay at his school, and even though Ramshackle was a glorified mausoleum, it was shelter. You had clothes on your back, food in your stomach, and had managed to establish yourself amongst the student body. Not only were you indebted to the man for sticking his neck out for you, but also, you dreaded to think what would happen if you were dismissed for being lazy. You had nowhere to go.
Upon coming to this conclusion, you decided to bite your lip and just read the darn thing. Grim let out a groan as you slipped a small card out of the envelope.
"What?" you said. "I'm being a good henchman, aren't I?"
"But you're supposed to be my henchman," he whined. "Who's going to get me dinner tonight if you're too busy obeying the Headmaster?"
You shrugged. "Ace and Deuce? Kalim and Jamil? Anyone. Heck, Idia's always wanted a cat. I'm sure you could lynch some junk food out of him if you begged."
Grim's ears perked up. "That's quite a menu," he said, licking his lips.
All of a sudden, you didn't seem so interesting to the magical feline anymore and he bolted off into the depths of Heartslabyul like a tiger on the hunt.
On the hunt for tarts, you thought.
Turning your attention back to Crowley's letter, you were surprised, and relieved to see just two simple sentences:
COME TO MY OFFICE AT SIX O'CLOCK.
DON'T EAT ANYTHING BEFOREHAND.
Your brow creased with confusion. Why would he tell you not to eat? You were already starving from a full day's worth of work and six o'clock wasn't for another hour. However, you supposed it was better than getting asked to do chores. So, with a grumbling stomach and tired eyes, you marched off to the library to do a spot of homework before your rendezvous.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
The sun was already beginning to set on the horizon. Due to being situated on an island, NRC always had sunsets that kissed the ocean. The water rippled like cider in the golden glow, a sweet and intoxicating sight. You watched the waves as you trekked upstairs to Dire's Office. You friends called it the 'Crow's Nest' because it was located right at the top of the school, and your chest was heaving by the time you knocked on the door.
"Perfectly punctual!" came a voice from the other side. "Come in, come in, (Y/N).”
The office looked as it usually did, with dark drapes and a large desk; the portraits of the school patrons hung behind it haphazardly. Yet there was no Headmaster.
You took a step into the office...
BAM!
The door slammed behind you. It gave you such a fright your heart leaped into your throat, and then a pair of hands draped over your eyes and you were blinded. Chuckling filled your ears.
"No peeking now, dear fledgling," said Mr Crowley. "It'll ruin the surprise."
"Holy-! What the heck, sir!" you exclaimed. Crowley's fingers tightened around your face, telling you to watch your tone.
"Now, now," he said cheerfully. His knees pressed into your legs, instructing you to move forward. "Is that any way to talk to your generous employer? Even after I went to all this effort?"
What effort?
You heard the distinct change of wood to hard stone as you paced out of the office and into the open air. Confused, you brought your hands up to Crowley's and pried them away.
The air hitched in your chest.
A circular dinner table, blanketed in a white cloth, was set up on the office balcony. Two places had been set with intricately cut glasses and cutlery that shined in the gentle moonlight. Crowley put a hand on your shoulder.
"I am a generous Headmaster, my dear fledgling," he said, squeezing softly. "And I think it's only right to reward you for your service once in a while. You've gone above and beyond the call of duty, especially with the overblot cases, all while keeping your head up and going against the grain each and every day. Don't think I haven't noticed."
You stared up into the pale yellow light behind Crowley's mask, opening and closing your mouth yet making no noise. What could you say?
"Sir...this...this..."
Crowley waited expectantly.
"This isn't an excuse to get out of marking exam scripts, is it?"
His face fell.
"Absolutely not!" he cried, pressing his free hand to his chest dramatically. You weren't convinced. "Is it a crime to appreciate one's staff?"
An image of Professor Trein and Crewel sharing a surprise dinner with Crowley flashed across your mind and you nearly snickered.
"And no," he went on, "it won't be taken out of your paycheque."
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
You let yourself be guided over to the table. The chair moved out for you all on its own and a serviette fluttered onto your lap the moment you sat down. Crowley sat across from you and snapped his fingers. Two plates appeared, filled with what appeared to be grilled vegetables; their aroma delicate yet distinctly smoky.
"Cheers, Prefect," said Crowley, lifting his glass. "To you."
A huge grin adorned your face. This was so kind, so thoughtful. And, admittedly, so deserved, too. Crowley had really outdone himself. All these months of endless work had made you start to believe you were nothing but a lackey. It felt so wonderful to be proven wrong, especially in this way. You made a hasty grab for your glass, already filled with a sparkling beverage...but you stopped.
Deftly, your hand hit the table, making your cutlery jingle like wind chimes. Crowley tilted his head with puzzlement.
Tears suddenly began to prick your eyes.
"Fledgling?" the Headmaster asked, a concerned tone to his voice. "Whatever is the matter? You aren't allergic to aubergines, are you?"
You shook your head. You couldn't believe how ridiculous you were being. Crying in front of the Headmaster? While he'd gone to all this effort to treat you? And for what? You couldn’t quite put your finger on why you had started acting so emotional. Instinctively, you lowered your head and wiped your eyes with your sleeve.
"It's nothing," you said quickly.
You couldn't see Crowley, since you were too interested in your lap, but you heard him put down his glass and push back his chair. A moment later he was beside you, crouching down to get a better look at your face. You looked away.
"(Y/N)? Tell me what's wrong this instant."
"It really is nothing, sir," you said, forcing yourself to smile. "Let's just enjoy our dinner. No doubt you're as starving as I am-"
Suddenly, Crowley grabbed your arms and dragged you upwards off your seat. You whipped your gaze up to him. Two piercing lights stared into your eyes. They seemed to analyze your soul; rummage around inside your skull for answers.
"Don't play me for a fool," he said darkly.
"I-I wasn't-"
"I doubt those are tears of joy running down your face. Answer me, (Y/N)."
Unbeknownst to you, a stray tear was flowing freely down your cheek. It trickled down to your jaw, leaving a cool trail in its wake, and fell directly onto Crowley's wrist. You were tempted to pass the droplet off as rain, but there was no way he'd believe that. The night was clear.
"I just don’t know why, sir,” you managed to finally croak out. "Why are you doing this?"
Crowley didn't flinch, a silent order for you to continue. You felt your body grow limp, surrendering all your energy to speaking.
"I have no magic. No money. Barely any skills. Everything you ask me to do, I do sometimes without even knowing how and make things worse. Yet, you still allow me to stay here, even going so far as to do things like this for me? I just don’t understand why. I certainly don’t deserve it.”
The grip Crowley had on you grew tighter, his claw rings digging into your flesh. You winced. Had you said something wrong? Ought you not have mentioned sometimes 'making things worse?' Would he cut his losses after this? Dread pooled in your stomach. You were glad you hadn't eaten anything yet because you felt as though you'd be sick.
After a painfully long minute, he said: “It’s because you're just a child.”
"W-What?"
"Like a lamb in a lion's den." His grip got so tight it tore the fabric of your shirt. "You've been plunged into this world knowing nothing. Did you honestly expect me to let you fend for yourself?"
"Yes!" you exclaimed. "Surely I mean nothing to you! Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful, but you owe me nothing and have still given me so much.”
Finally, his grip loosened on you. You sighed with relief, reaching up to massage your biceps. You could see faint red crescent moons where his claws had dug in. However, your fingers had barely stroked your shirt before you were pulled into a hug.
"Ridiculous," said the Headmaster.
You went stiff as a board. Your body seemed to have suddenly shut itself down, locked up and thrown away the key. All you could do was breathe and blink. "It's been a pleasure watching you learn and grow over these past few months,” he went on. “And you do mean something. Something to everyone here. And, I’ll confess, I've begun to see you more as an errand-runner."
You didn't know if it was because of you or not, but Crowley's chest began to tremble as if he was tearing up, too.
"I’ve seen so many students pass through these walls. I’ve seen their faces disappear into the vast sea of life year after year, go back to their families holiday after holiday. But you, you are like my own child. So innocent, so eager to please, and my responsibility beyond that of being your Headmaster. How can I possibly even think of getting rid of you when seeing your smile and achievements feel like my own-“
So many emotions flooded you: relief, disbelief, serenity, gratitude, that you jumped at the chance to hug him back. Your arms wrapped around him so tightly. You had no clue that you had made such an impact on this man. He saw you as his own child? And, deep down, had you begun to see him like a father figure? Perhaps. He had always provided everything you needed, even if those things weren't exactly perfect, or even decent. The crux of the matter was that Crowley had looked after you.
"Thank you, sir," you muttered into his ear.
A light hum was his reply. "Always, my fledgling. Now, come and dry those eyes. Our starters are getting cold."
•~•~•~•~•~•~•
I hope you liked this :)
And thank you so much for 300 followers! Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated x
TWST characters as parents (Staff)
Crowley:
proud bird dad
literally he is so proud of anything you do and will share your achievements with the rest of the staff
he also has a box of things that you've completed/given to him
childhood artwork, cards you've made, old gifts you've given to him, your first assignment and test, and even some of your old stuffed animals from when you were a kid
he also has a thick photo album full of pictures of you growing up
the kind of parent who takes so many photos
he looks through that photo album a lot to look back on the precious memories
the box and the photo albums are protected using magic
he will cry is something happens to them
pretty sure he lives at the school so you grew up at NRC
you know the entire layout of the school, visited every dorm, and even met all the ghosts
the ghosts all love you
they watch over you when Crowley and the other staff are busy
naturally you become a student of NRC when you're old enough
and once again, Crowley is so proud of you at orientation
he's taking photos as you walk up to the magic mirror and get assigned a dorm
he's so happy no matter what dorm you end up in
and if you want to change dorms, say no more it's already done
he's a little bit protective
loves when you make friends
he already knows if they're generally good people because he has their student files
it's a bit different if you have a romantic relationship tho
he's scared and will look into your partner more
will express his worries, but not to you
the other staff members hear it
"my child is growing up too fast!"
if you get involved with any of the overblots he is terrified and hovers around you afterwards
other students have mixed feelings about you
some will want to be on your good side because you're close with the headmage
others will be cautious of you because they worry if they offend you then they'll get expelled
and some (Azul) may try to take advantage of you
he's also painfully supportive
if you play any sports at NRC he has set up a cheering squad for you and you alone
also probably going to ask you to help him with his work
"won't you help your dear loving and hardworking father?"
when breaks come up he will give you the choice to stay at NRC or go on vacation with him
even if you say no to going with him he will try to convince you
he calls it parent child bonding
while other students may say he's not a very good headmage, he thinks he's great
he doesn't mind what the other students say, but if you were to say it...
he may start to consider that he's not as good as he thinks
what would really make him realize they were right was if you somehow overblotted
if you did overblot, he's full on crying and heartbroken
of course he's going to save you from the overblot
but afterwards he's going to just hug you and cry
he can be a bit of an overbearing father at times, but it's because he loves you
Crewel:
a more strict but loving father
he absolutely loves raising you
he calls you his pup
unlike Crowley, he won't keep a million photos of you or collect your first assignments or anything
but he is proud of the things you do
if you present him with some art you made or something cool you did he will be proud
the type of dad to keep your art on the wall
he also will spoil you
like you won't even know how much he spoils you
you'll be happy just to get a new coat and it's actually one of the best brands that costs so much money
his motto is "Only the best for my little pup"
this motto perseveres throughout your life
when you attend NRC, he's super proud no matter what dorm you end up in
when you attend school is when the slightly more strict side of him shows itself
he wants you to pass all your classes and will help you study
you might not get many breaks until he's sure you understand the concept and know how to do it
of course he's not as strict with you as he is with other students
they might not even get breaks
he will push you to get good grades but he always knows when he starts to push too far and will stop himself
if he accidentally does push you to hard he will apologize and try to make it up to you
Crewel is a bit of a protective dad
he pays attention to what his students are like so when you mention your friends he already knows them
he doesn't mind as long as they're good people
if you're in a romantic relationship he's a bit more protective
remember that motto I mentioned earlier? yeah that comes into play here
he thinks you deserve the best and will not tolerate your partner giving you anything less
he can be very critical of your partner and you may have to tell him to back off
he may also give your partner more work in class than other students
Crewel likes to make sure that you're dressed well and will tidy up your appearance when he sees something out of place
Trein:
very loving father
he already has daughters so you aren't an only child
you know how he treats Lucius? you get similar treatment
he is a doting cat dad and a doting dad
he spends a lot of time with you and your siblings as you grow up
he never wants to miss any part of your life
also will hang your artwork on the wall
he'll even bring some to his classroom and hang them up there
he will go on and on about you to his students if they ask
some may do this to get out of doing classwork
they find out later that they still get the assignment but now they have no explanation of how to do it
he's very proud whenever you complete assignments or get good grades
and he's very proud when you finally get to go to NRC
he won't really mind whatever dorm you get into
but he will worry if it's Savanaclaw
students in that dorm are more prone to fights so he's worried
like Crewel, he's a bit of a protective dad
he will slightly judge your friend choice depending on who they are but won't interfere with anything
unless they get you in trouble, then he'll say something
if you're in a romantic relationship, he will silently judge them too
will also be more strict towards your partner in his class
he will not tolerate them slacking off in any way
well...he doesn't tolerate anyone slacking off in his class but even more so your partner
when you're in his class, he is much more relaxed with you
while he won't let you sleep you can still get away with spacing out or not paying attention
you also get Lucius' attention while you're in the class
most students find the cat annoying and Lucius will glare at them, but Lucius loves you!
he'll lay on your lap during class and purr very loudly
whoever sits next to you may be nervous not to disturb the cat
whenever Trein and Lucius get separated he gets really panicked
unless he knows Lucius is with you
you're the only one he trusts with Lucius
Lucius himself is protective of you
if anyone gets too close for the cat's liking, he may scratch them
while Trein is more passive aggressive with his protectiveness, Lucius is more outwardly disapproving
Vargas:
proud dad #4
he's unashamed to be your biggest fan
no matter what you're doing or where you go he's cheering you on
he probably has you playing at least one sport growing up
wants you to be super fit and active
and he'll also feed you all sorts of healthy foods
he wants to be your role model so bad
he just wants to hear you say even once "I want to be just like you Dad"
if he does hear it, he's fallen to his knees and overwhelmed with emotion
he won't cry, but he comes close
super proud when you become a student of NRC
he doesn't really mind what dorm you get in, but he secretly hopes it's Savanaclaw
Savanaclaw is the most athletic dorm
no matter what dorm you end up in, he is cheering as soon as the magic mirror says it
Crowley has to tell him to calm down
he's not a protective dad
he encourages you to make friends and doesn't mind them at all
he doesn't mind when you have a romantic partner either
in fact if you introduced them he would simply hug them and get straight to bonding
your father has now stolen your partner for bonding time
where did they go and how long will they be gone? nobody knows
when they do come back Vargas will say he's part of the family now
when you're in his class, he already expects you to participate and stay fit
so he's not as worried about you as he is for other students
if you play any sports in school, he is coming to all your games and cheering for you
he will be the cheerleader
he's over there with pom-poms and everything
Sam:
you are such a spoiled child
like really anything you want, you got it
and I do mean anything
he has connections so he can get ahold of anything
you are his special little imp
he treasures the little artwork you make as a kid
it's the one thing he won't sell
he often trains you on how to run the store
so even though you may be small, he may still have you work in the shop
he won't have you do anything too big of course
but little by little you learn more about how to work and run the shop and you get to bond with him too!
but people are more likely to come again and buy things when there's a cute child
so having you there is also a business strategy
he's such a fun dad tho
he loves to play with you a lot and will generally do anything you think is fun together
he's happy when you finally become a student at NRC and it doesn't bother him which dorm you end up in
though if he had to choose he would say Octavinelle because they got the business strategies
he's not a protective dad either
he encourages you to make all sorts of friends
he even encourages you to make friends on the other side but never specifies beyond that
he doesn't mind if you have a partner either
they shouldn't expect a discount unless they are really good to you
speaking of discounts
you don't have to pay for things while you're at the school
he gives them to you for free
but he will ask if you want to help him out at the shop sometime
some students may try to get close to you so they can get more discounts (Ruggie)
and some may try to get close to you so they can get some of those business connections (Azul)
Sam hopes that in the future, you may be able to take on ownership of the shop
it's been in the family for a long time so he hopes he can pass it on to you
you have a while before that tho
I wanted to make my own custom banner for my profile, so, uh... Here it is. Figured I should have a Twisted Wonderland image for my banner, since, you know, I write TWST smut, but I also really liked the Kakashi sensei reading smut image I had before.
So boom. I combined them.
Crowley reading Naruto smut. How weeby is that shit?
Made in ✨️Procreate✨️.
The drama is 400 years old and NRC is learning all of it in excruciating detail
If Crowley DOES turn out to be Raverne, everyone at NRC and possibly on Sage's Island as a whole will need to be wearing earplugs for the next 48 hours minimum after Lilia finds out, because that is approximately the amount of time he's going to spend yelling. And Crowley would deserve it
If Crowley DOES turn out to be Raverne, everyone at NRC and possibly on Sage's Island as a whole will need to be wearing earplugs for the next 48 hours minimum after Lilia finds out, because that is approximately the amount of time he's going to spend yelling. And Crowley would deserve it
Listen I'm not saying I believe the "Crowley is Raverne/Levan" theory, I'm saying that if it is true, Lilia is going to be PISSED.
Someone: How many versions of the song "KING" (and "Queen") with Twisted wonderland characters are needed?
Youtube: Yes ^_^
To be fair, some versions of the songs sounded really cool (the version of "KING" by Maleus, Riddle and Crowley), as well as the versions of Leona and "QUEEN" by Riddle and Vil, and in some moments they will have a beautiful visual accompaniment. And yes, instead of sleeping at 1:37 a.m., I really started listening to each version in its entirety.
@deescade
1 - (Sebek) ...
2 - (Neige) That would genuinely make me a little uncomfortable. Not because I don't like him but because I don't like when people whisper to me.
3 - (Kalim) I would stop working...
4 - (Sebek) It kinda works cause I also got him for the first one.
5 - (Chenya) My baby!! Whyy lol
6 - (Leona) Guess he's not wasting time... ehhh
7 - (Deuce) Okay, that's just rude! How dare you?! >:(
8 - (Silver) That hurts my feelings, why would he do that to me... :'(
9 - (Riddle) I'd probably accidently push/hit him cause of my shock... Not the best scenario...
This is my first post and it's currently 3:50am and I can't sleep. I'm gonna do more of these!
Twisted Wonderland (How Would They: Tell You a Pick-up Line? ver.) click and drag game!
warnings: flashing images
prompt: how would these characters tell you a pick-up line?
When YOU tell them a pick-up line...
Game notes • How to Play
Please use a browser other than Google Chrome to play because the GIFs always lock onto their first frame on Chrome. Safari and Firefox work, please try those
If you're on mobile, screenshot the gifs either as a set or individually
HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY TWISTED WONDERLAND
this makes me wondering....what is Dire Crowley's unique magic? or other staff magic? Since the twisted wonderland JP version , dire Crowley SSR is here (which I didnt get and waste all my gems for nothing 😭).
Squeeze him harder
crowley’s va… *wipes stray tear from my eye*
@twsthalloween
Day of week 2: Trick or Treat
Twst versions of Someecards.
Day 1 of week 2: Trick or Treat
@twsthalloween
I didn't know what to draw for the theme really. So... I drew a female Crowley cosplay design?? ┐😕┌
I don't know. It's sort of late victorian fashion inspired, like a governess.
He came home on my first 10 pull! 🥰
I have succesfully snatched Dire Crowley's Weave. (also im back ig)
Prologue 2 in a nutshell
Red Ciel: OFFU WITH YO HEADDO!!!
Devil Kitty: HAH! U can't stop me with this stupid collar, WA- wait.....My Magic isn't working...FUCK!
Red Ciel: That's because you got a magic collar that can cancel your magic HAH!
Kinky Takoyaki: Impressive Rideru-san I want that magic so I can collar some bitches- er I wouldn't want that used on me hehe...
Red Ciel: ........right
birb daddy: OI HOOMAN! Tame your familiar would ya?
MC: It's not my FKIN FAMILIAR GOD!
(S. Rogers in the bg: l a n g u a g e)
birb daddy: ya sure?
MC: yes I'm FKIN sure
(S. Rogers in the bg: l a n g u a g e) 2x
birb daddy: right.....anyways Magic Mirror send this hooman back to where they came from immediately.
mAgIc mIRoR: this hoe who thought this was an otome game er, they have no place to go soo ya they're screwed.
birb daddy: wHa?! Hooman, where the hell do u come from??
MC: well it all starts when the mommy and daddy do—
Ok I'mma stop there lol. Hope u enjoy YERT
Twisted Wonderland
Prologue 1 in a nutshell
MC: Where hell am I–why the hell am I in a coffin?! Am I finally gonna see Satan-senpai?
Meanwhile...
Devil kitty: BURN BISHES BURN! OI hooman! Give me yo clothes or you gone get barbecued!
MC: OH HELL NAH I AIN'T GETTIN KILLED BY A RACCOON DOG *runs*
*At hell the library*
Devil Kitty: Haha! U can't run from me now hooman!
Birb dad: WHIP OF LUS-er LOVE! (kInky😏)
Birb dad: U hooman, must go meet smexy bois er get sorted into a dorm.
*at Mirror Hall*
Red Ciel: break the rules or it's [OFFU WITHYO HEADDO!!!]
Kinky Takoyaki: I will support u pOor unFortunaTe soUls, cuz u all don't have any brain cells.
Smexy Scar: *yawn*
Crusty lil queen: where the hell is daddy
-er the Headmaster?
Geeky shy boi: he probs took a shi-
Birb dad: I'M BACK BITCHES. Now u go to the Magic Mirror and get sorted.
mAgiC MirrOr: sLytTerhIn -er this person has no magic nor soul, so they have no dorm.
Devil kitty: How bout u make me a Mage instead of that hoebag! Besides I can make great barbecue WAH!
*barbecues the Mirror Hall*
Moody Rich boi: OI BITCHES MAH ASS. IZ ON FIRE!!!
Kinky Takoyaki: Ok kitten is getting a lil naughty~(😏) this call's for sum discipline. Wat do u say Rideru-san?
Red Ciel: Ugh fine! Let's go fight some pus-er Cat.
That's all hoebags, hope u enjoy. YERT
This is giving Headmage Dire Crowley vibes
crowley babaa 🐦⬛
Lavern 🐦⬛ *delusional**
TWST Story Idea (4)
Actually, I have no idea what I'm doing. It was supposed to be a theory, and now it's a story idea with probably a bunch of plot holes and nonsense that I came up with at night. But do consider this idea though. It was said that there are 5 greatest mages in the world, with Malleus on the list, and Dire Crowley could probably be in it too. Who knows? How else did he become a headmaster for so long?
-
Fairy tales change every time they're written and told. Some parts are kept the same, some are not. Some are twisted enough to the point of being called disturbing, and others have their roles reversed, and so on.
It always changes. The words change from book to book and mouth to mouth. Sometimes because the story is a bore, or they wanted to justify the characters' actions, or maybe they simply have forgotten how it goes and made their own story up because they can never let it be forgotten.
Whatever it is, the story is made to fit one's own taste.
Dire Crowley is that kind of person who is unsatisfied with the ending of the stories he comes across. Being a curious bird, he finds it quite strange, vexing even. Why must the good guy win when they have almost nothing? The villains are cunning and stronger even, yet they are defeated by a goody-two-shoes who knows nothing of the world.
Curious, how curious. How could that happen? Logically, the villains should win. It's unfair, like the world is against them. Don't some of the villains come from the same root? So how come they are different?
Crowley wasn't having it. He wanted to know why, and he liked them enough to decide that villains should be heroes too.
And so, he made a story—a story with a certain ending in mind but a hole in between which pages will gradually be filled with time.
He made a world where 7 villains he carefully selected became the most prominent figures in Twisted Wonderland. He wrote the good things he saw in them, and gradually, people admired these figures.
He even made a place for their embodiments so he can watch over and figure out what made them lose. To do this, he made the Royal Sword Academy where the good guys are, the rivals to the villains.
Crowley intended to observe them. They are placed together in a school with 7 dorms. He wanted to see what made them different from the good guys.
It didn't take too long to figure out. Although they are thoroughly competent, they refuse to work together. Each came up with a different plan and proposed the others follow them. The others are of distinguished backgrounds and therefore are too prideful and stubborn to follow.
The story refused to move forward. It stays the same, and nothing changed. They refused to change.
Crowley is upset; this is not the kind of ending he wishes to see. Something must change to move forward, and so Crowley tweaks the story a little bit and begins another story with a twist.
The first Alice, Yuu, gets called over. Yuu is the anomaly in this story. The villains are characters that can't change too much, or else they lack their own identity—the "you are what makes you," if you will. They have to be the same yet different. So Yuu will be the catalyst to move the story forward, the wheels to the cart, and the cogs to the machine.
This Yuu was to be a middleman, smooth things over and let them work together. He was a person of low birth who somehow became a noble. He knew the hardship, and he knew how to connect with people.
The story ended too shortly, sadly. Yuu died. Someone with ill intention killed him, and the others are too indifferent to his death.
Crowley thought that yes, this must be it. This is what sets villains apart from the heroes. It's because they don't care about a single life, and if they do, it is because they lost a good person that benefited them a lot.
Was it because the heroes were kind and good that people would help them? Surely that must be the explanation; otherwise, Snow White wouldn't be able to escape and live due to the hunter and the dwarves, nor would Belle be spared by the beast. Princess Aurora wouldn't wake up if the fairies didn't seek help from Prince Charming.
Because the villains were selfish and indifferent, people don't like them and won't lend a hand. This wouldn't do. Crowley wanted them to be heroes; he wanted to paint the ugly black heart into pure white snow.
The ink dropped on a blank page, and a new story started once again.
Second Alice comes, and Yuu is her name. She is gentle, kind, and her heart is filled with empathy, and she is also willing to voice out her concern. This is good, Crowley thought. This will teach them how to feel, and they also have a rough childhood.
Surely if they are touched by her open heart and kindness, they are willing to change, be kind in return, willing to work together for the same goal.
He watched in interest; they appeared to be enamored with Yuu, who is like a little butterfly fluttering about, only for those wings to rip apart.
"Oh, why are they so cruel?" Crowley lamented. Instead of taking care of it, they'd rather have the wings torn apart. They could not stand the butterfly landing on someone's hands even for a moment.
Crowley called forth another Alice just as the story starts. Again and again and again. He will write the story as many times as he can until the story is to his satisfaction.
He exhausted his magic, and the villains are still doomed to fail by their own flaws and unlucky things. Yuu can only do so much before everything falls apart.
And then the ink splotches on the half-written story, and Overblot came to life. He could not erase their existence. The ink forever stained the pages. Crowley could only roll with it even as new anomalies dubbed Overblot began to pop up. The story hasn't ended yet, and he will only start anew if it stopped.
It was a rather unusual thing to say, but it is the farthest chapters that Crowley has been through. They were nearing the end in every new story with every Alice/Yuu changed.
He lost count of how many Alice/Yuu he has lost and how many villains that slowly changed their way lose their lives to these monsters. No doubt that the perfect story is about to be achieved. The greatest happy ending that the villains deserved is waiting just this close, with a monster blocking the way.
Ink began to drop from his face, dripping onto the already stained book. Crowley too is also nearing his end. His magic is already depleted from using his unique magic and fetching Yuu every time a story starts.
A new story is about to begin, and Crowley stood in front of the Dark Mirror with a white mask. The mask also had ink on it, telling him that the Dark Mirror too had used up their power to summon Yuu.
The next one has to be someone who could survive to the end. Someone who could befriend the villains and show them kindness and recognition they deserved. Someone that can change their ways and improve their perspective of the world no matter how little. Someone to be there by their side until everything.
He reached out to the person whose visage formed on the mirror, urging the person on the other side to take his hand.
"For thee, guided by the Mirror of Darkness,
Follow thy heart and take the hand of the one reflected in the mirror.
Flames that turn even stars into ashes,
Ice that imprisons even time,
Great tree that swallows even the sky,
Don't be afraid of the power of darkness,
Come now, show your power.
Mine, theirs, and yours,
There's only a little time left for us.
Do not let go of that hand, at all costs."
Who would have thought that the new Alice who will guide them all to the perfect ending will be a magicless human who is quite troublesome and reckless in nature?
-
Every Yuu is different. They are summoned from different world/dimension/time to help aid his story (to influence). All of them have magic. Crowley doubted the last Alice/Yuu (from the game. Depends.) will be the last key to open the final door since they are magicless.
Fits for yandere theme as well. This Yuu is very valuable and the key to happiness. Of course they want Yuu to stay here. Of course Crowley wouldn't let them go.
"Overblot is a dangerous condition that mages must avoid at all costs." - Book 1, C24
My take on Crowley Overblotting. We know that Crowley is easily one of, if not the most powerful mage at NRC, hence being Headmage. His chances of Overblot are probably extremely high and him specifically saying it should be avoided at all costs has led me to theorise that Crowley has in fact OBed before or has come close
Reno's Entries to:
AllTober - Day 1: "Run!"
Contains: Small Description of Blood/Blot, Book 7 Spoilers, Levan Crowley theory
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
Character(s): Dire Crowley/Levan Draconia, Malenoa Draconia, Malleus Draconia
"You were cursed? Levan, why didn't you say anything beforehand?"
"I thought it'd be safer that way, but of course, now Malleus is here, I cannot keep it from you."
"Levan..."
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The air of Briar Valley fell thick with a sense of trouble. Typical dark forests and jagged stones became monstrous omens for whatever hell was currently waiting to unfold.
In the castle grounds of the Draconia family, tension was growing. Malenoa held her child to her chest, her face drained of any other emotion than fear. Young prince Malleus slept soundlessly in her arms, unaware of the reign of terror occuring in the confines of his own home.
"Malenoa~ where did you goooo~?"
The queen could only pray that her husband's hearing hadn't increased. She remained light on her feet, running through the castle, hiding in nooks and crannies when she saw the hideous trail of blot. Black, inky blot.
She could do it. She could protect Malleus and survive.
"My dear, dear queen... must you hide from me? Where are you?"
Malenoa made a quick dash for her army's quarter of the castle, where she barricaded the door while she recollected herself. Ordering one of the men in the room to protect Malleus with his life, Malenoa snatched her staff.
She walked silently back through the castle, this time searching for her husband - or the monster that he currently was.
"Malenoa, my dear! There you are~ you led me on a merry chase my love!"
Her husband was still in there. She knew it. Destroy the blot monster, and he would be fine...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Finally waking up from whatever spell Malleus had cast, Crowley looked around at the staff and students still asleep, or at least stirring. The overblot had been stopped at last, but to what cost? Malleus now knew who Crowley truly was, and it worried the crow.
"You left your own family?!" One of the students screamed at him, but Crowley heard it not.
7 overblots. His curse.
Crowley's wings and cloak fused, changing to giant, pitch black wings, several times the size of Crowley. The mask shattered on one side, gleaming yellow eye starting to drip with that inky substance.
"Please..."
Crowley barely recognised his voice.
"Run."
Not even a second later, a blood-curdling cry, somewhere between a crow call and a scream, ripped from the Headmage.
The gold claws were fused to him, growing longer into the equivalent of an eagle's talons. Whatever remained of the beak on his mask lengthened out, curling more down.
He gave them all one last warning.
"RUN!"
AllTober is hosted by:
Dire Crowley Headcanons
If you don't know me well (which for most of you is the case), I am a massive Dire Crowley fan. And of course, what type of gracious fan of the bird would I be without some Headcanons?
So, let's dive in, shall we?
WARNING: Following Headcanons contain angst
Crowley can turn into a bird, you can't tell me otherwise. So, he has a bit of a birdbrain!
He also probably struggles to see glass doors...
Also related to the bird brains. The reason for him running from danger is the bird brains. Most birds flee from a threat, so does Crowley. He doesn't mean to, but it's instinctual and a habit
If Yuu had any issues and told him about them, he'd just randomly appear with objects he's found from pretty feathers to shiny pebbles and bottlecaps, and give them to Yuu to try and cheer them up
He also requests small bits of praise or short hugs in return, just so he knows that Yuu is happy with what he finds!
Crowley also fully knows that the students don't trust him, or in some cases, he knows they don't even like or respect him.
His over-the-top personality is to stop anyone from realising he's affected by it, and how he wants to be genuinely helpful but struggles with it.
He'll sometimes lock himself in his office and just cry or unleash his anger and sadness by trashing his desk or clawing/punching a wall.
He talks to the paintings more than actual people because of it.
If he's far from his office, he'll detour to Divus. Why Divus? Because of all the staff, Dire trusts him the most
NEXT HEADCANONS MAY CONTAIN BOOK 7 SPOILERS
If the theory of Crowley being Levan is true, then I think Crowley may have a few extra Headcanons to make
Crowley is scared to hurt people, so (including my curse theory), Crowley ran from the Draconias to protect them
He runs and avoids helping with the Overblots because he either physically can't help or he fears he'd make them worse
Secretly keeps a close eye on Malleus at NRC
That's all for now with my Crowley Headcanons :3
The person who asked is not on Tumblr, but!
Additional note: I voice Crowley in "Amongst The Thorns"
The only Crowley ship I've ever been interested in is Crowley x Crewel. Considering their in-game dynamic, it seems most fitting of all Crowley ships.
However, I will say, I do not 100% ship Crowley with anyone, mainly because of how little is known about him. For all we know, Crowley could be older than Lilia, and we wouldn't know.
Though Crowley x ANY STUDENT is a no, I will personally strangle anyone who even suggests writing such ^_^
I've mentioned these theories many times, and I think you TWST lot here may like them!
Specifically about Crowley! (Crowley Hate is NOT allowed on my blog as he is my #1 favourite character from TWST)
In brief, Crowley is Malleus' father, but Crowley is also cursed.
Now to explain.
Let's start with Crowley is a Fae. We know 3 (?) other characters with the pointed ears {Malleus, Lilia and Baul}, of which all are Fae. Crowley has the same pointed ears as those three. There's no other race in TWST with those pointed ears.
Now, we also know nothing about Crowley's age, homeland nor past. We also don't know the reason for the mask he wears - this is where the curse theory comes in. What if the mask is there to potentially hide the curse marking or something? The curse in question being that one day, unknown to Crowley, the people around him will suffer in many ways. This could be part of the Overblots too.
Now, how does that work into the Malleus' father theory? We know Crowley runs from danger and problems - we don't know why he does this, so is it a state of attempting to protect people? In which case, could he have ran from Malleus and Malleus' mother to protect them?
Also within that theory - appearance. Crowley and Malleus have identical hair colour, and similar complexion shades. They also have a similar facial shape, and as weird as it maybe, expressions.
AND! The creator of TWST yassified the fucking crocodile... And there's no crow in Diasomnia, but Maleficent has a crow (Diablo)... Why wouldn't the creator YASSIFY THE CROW?!
Thank you for coming to my theory rant
IDEAS FOR THIS:
Ace- Really Sharp Ace of Hearts Card
Deuce- Baseball Bat with a knife taped to it
Cater- Old Guitar
Trey- Rolling Pin and Old Baking Sheet
Riddle- Carving Knife + Croquet Mallet
Che’nya- A door with a tired face that talks (its kind of an asshole ngl)
Leona- Engraved Piece of Elephant Bone + Gucci Sandal
Ruggie - Crowbar (or lockpicks)
Jack- Dumbells
Azul- Replica Trident (bought as a decor item for the monstro lounge but Floyd broke the casing), + A Ring of “we’ll take care of them for free” coupons
Jade- Suspicious bag of unknown plant and/or mushroom based substances
Floyd- Sharp Pieces of Shells and Sea glass
Kalim- Bejeweled Scimitar + Key to the Vault
Jamil - Inexpensive Frying pan (and decently sharp Kitchen Knife if he trusts you enough)
Vil- Poison Recipes book + Really Blinding and strong smelling Perfume
Rook- A bow and filled quiver (and useful info for blackmail if you want to go the emotional violence route) and/or hunting traps
Epel- a very nice and pointy Applewood stick
Idia- An overwhelmingly souped up gun (manual book is optional)+ pen that doubles as a tazer
Ortho- a lazer cannon + his assistance if needed
Malleus- Enchanted Shortsword + Faes Blessing
Lilia- Cursed Spoon of Doom and Wisdom + Combat Training (whether you like it or not)
Silver- A Ram horn that summons animals to assist you when you blow into it (unfortunately you do not get a say in WHICH animals)
Sebek- A very sturdy hardcover book and/or a shield he “simply outgrew” (cough liar cough)
Grim- Moral Support + Being your flamethrower
Skully- Pumpkin Carving Knife
Rollo- Torch
Crowley- Feather (its as useless in combat as he is in your life)
Crewel- Whip or Bear Mace
Vargas- Pitchfork
Trein- Advice + A Journal (to plot in)
Sam- A very weird amulet he swears isn’t haunted even though it was “on the house” + Will make you a Voodoo doll of an enemy for Free.99
The prefect is magicless. Yet they are involved in every overblot that has happened in nrc ever since their arrival. How do they survive? Do they use Grim as a flamethrower?? That has to be it. Or they buy a pewpew from Sam. Lets see what their signature spell can do against the prefects new muskatool!!
I’m reading Fairy Gala and istg the way Riddle hypes up Ace to the Housewardens is so cute-
He’s like a proud mom trying to one up the other parents at the PTO meeting I literally cannot
“COULD JACK DO THAT” STOP WHY IS HE FLEXING
HE FEELS SO HAPPY AND THINKS ACE WILL LOVE THE TASK THEIR SIBLINGS YOUR HONOR.
Just thought of another set.
——-
Yuu- Was the unofficial dorm therapist in my dorm in boarding school, and somehow ended up being the only girl in my grade at one point.
There was also a cat that followed me around everywhere and once sat outside the science classroom meowing at me.
Bonus 1: My friend once invited me all the way to her apartment in fucking Florida with her for a long weekend just because she felt like it.
Bonus 2: I twice befriended someone on vacation as a kid that didn’t speak any language I knew and I didn’t speak theirs. The first was a French boy who was also on vacation at the time (I was 5-6 I think?) , and the Second was an Costa Rican Girl who’s parents ran the restaurant of the place we were staying (I was 8 I think?)
I played Fire Boy and Water Girl with her, a game based on teamwork and communication, while not being able to communicate.
(General) Lilia: We had a chicken coup of chickens we hatched for a science class and made the coup for home ec, with there were 5 black feathered chickens and 4 with assorted shades of golden brown.
I was coming in to feed them for a friend and I found one of the black feathered ones (Karen, who was really annoying tbh, once attacked my ankle when I tried to fix the fence.) was literally beheaded on the ground outside of the coup. All the chickens still in the coup were fine.
But nope, not Karen, she was beheaded.
I was really tired so I just kinda looked down, decided it was too early to deal with a murder, walked around the body, filled the feeder, walked back to the stable, left a sticky note that just said : “Karen fucking died.” And went back to my dorm.
Bonus. 1: In trying to find a water source at like midnight so we could get water to filter, I sat on a dirt road and lead the other group to it by listening for its location and giving them the directions. It worked to my surprise and later on misery because they kept making me do that at other campsites as a last resort.
Also once someone accidentally held a knife to my throat by accident and I just stared blankly back at them. I literally can’t remember why the hell I did that but apparently it scared the shit out of the others.
Bonus 2: When me and the camping group got groundstruck by lightning in the middle of no where in the woods, me and the only other person still capable of movement had to find our way back on a big time limit bcs the youngest member in our group had gotten flung into the camp fire. The Guides ended up in some trees and another group member ended up in the wood pile.
We also once had to filter water that was so muddy it was near pitch ass black. I did not trust it but since that happened on my last day I just rationed the rest of my water.
Bonus 3: My older sister discovered I am apparently very strong (and can see that sadly I’m also short and smol) and proceeded to always make me carry her large and/or heavy items, especially through doors because i’m short and tiny enough that if its big, I don’t get stuck trying to get it through or need someone to hold it with me so its lower down.
She also makes me carry everything if I’m shopping with her, and I mean everything. I’ll end up holding 2 Watermelons, a bag of clothes and/or makeup, spices, a whole chicken, etc.
Once I genuinely forgot to take some of the purchases out of my bag, which at the time was the same I used for school, and ended up pulling out 4 full blocks of different kinds of cheese mild Honors English, said “Shit.” and just casually put them back.
Apparently one of my childhood friends actually witnessed this and until I introduced myself he just knew me as “Cheese Block Girl.”
Fun Fact: I fucking hate raw cheese, any kind. Just no wtf why are you eating wax textured Milk Mold.
Bonus 4: Scared the living shit out of this drunk bachelor party that happened to be doing an escape room with me and my mom-
(If you had two or less people, you were placed with a random group)
-By doing the entire thing by myself because I got tired of waiting, then at the end you were supposed to get this sword and stab it into a book, and for some reason they put a whole ass real metal sword in there, so these poor drunk men are standing around waiting for me to come out because my mom told them I finished it
Then boom, this tiny 11 year old comes out with a fucking metal sword and screams “ON GUARD!”
Bro they literally parted the way for me I felt so damn cool.
Bonus 5 : I went to a renaissance fair with a good friend and beat a ton of people in a (fake weapons) sword fight. I was also in heels and bitch even I don’t know how I didn’t trip.
Also I met a guy who had 12 replica Flintlocks and 2 Blunderbuss’s, he somehow attached all 12 flintlocks his vest and wore it.
Najima: My sister was having a party, and I made my Russian Roulette Cupcakes without telling her they were Russian Roulette Cupcakes (More or less they are party game I made, except I ironically rarely attend parties.)
Basically, lets say you have 12 cupcakes, 5 are filled with good stuff, like chocolate mousse, or marshmallow fluff. 5 are filled with bad stuff, which is usually just whatever edible sourcesI can find in the kitchen that should never be legally allowed in a cupcake , Like Sardines, Pico, Mayo, etc.
Then 2 are “Big Bangs” , one is several good fillings mixed together, and the other is an abomination to mankind.
My older sister kicked me out of the room I was in last minute to have this party, so it was my revenge by only telling one of them what the cupcakes actually were and getting him to agree not to snitch that some were bad but make sure nobody gets something their allergic to.
Giving those cupcakes to tipsy College students and watching them eat them was a comedy act in of itself.
Bonus : Unintentionally started a school wide manhunt after using a giant highlighter I found on a random desk and forgetting to return it, and apparently the teacher it belonged to, who I didn’t have, was pissssseed.
I don’t know what exactly happened, but one of my friends had him and a week after I took it by accident he said he was so tired of the teacher interrogating them about it that he was contemplating just buying him a new one. Other conversations I overheard had people sounding down right homicidal, like “When I catch the guy that stole that stupid fucking highlighter-“
I literally just sat there like, In the words of John Mulaney :”Did I do that?”
I never returned it out of fear, and since I wasn’t even in his class I wasn’t a suspect.
———
OK THATS PROBABLY IT FOREVER BUT WHO KNOWS.
BYE :3
Stupid Shit I’ve done/Gotten myself into by accident/been dragged into as Twisted Wonderland Characters:
—————-
Ace : Heard my sister screaming bloody murder downstairs and didn’t do shit because I assumed she was watching a horror movie. Turns out there was a fire in the oven.
Bonus: Sniped my friend in the eye from across the Cafeteria with a Ketchup Packet, Meant to hit his glasses, but he repositioned them at the last second.
Deuce: Answered Maine four times on a Historical Geography test and was wrong all four times.
Cater: Threw my phone out of the window in a panic after seeing one of my Idols followed me back.
Bonus : Accidentally convinced a transfer camper from Wales I was from London after I quoted something in the accent to myself in the showers and was too awkward to tell them I wasn’t when they struck up the conversation.
(I am from America, and the camp is in America.)
Trey: Accidentally created a puddle of Dark Red Icing and Stepped in it four times in a row while making a cake at 2 am.
Bonus : Befriended and helped out the owner of a French Bakery down the street when they started out, they ended up becoming really popular (rightfully so, her stuff is amazing) and now I either get free shit and/or Friends and Family Discounts.
Riddle : I have read the dictionary on multiple occasions out of sheer boredom.
Bonus: I once read the bible and marked down verses. Im not religious I just needed to win an argument.
Leona: Slept through an earthquake and 3 ambulances coming to my house bcs my sister was hurt.
Ruggie: Waited for families going inside to pass by and asked them to hold the door for me so I could sneak into a VIP rooms for free food. (Usually only at fancy hotels but luckily this strategy is flexible when your 5’2 with a baby face.)
Jack: Used to Smash open large rocks containing Crystals or Quartz at the beach as a kid, and now I have a large collection of them.
Bonus: I have extremely good hearing, to the point I hear into the negative decibels up to -15 - -20 (according to the audiologist this is rare but i literally don’t know shit about audio and decibels) so my old dormmates used to try and bribe me to tell them what I heard about certain things or themselves.
Bonus 2: Almost got shot by an illegal hunter while in the woods with my sister.
Floyd : Cracked my skull open at the pool, lost consciousness for a few seconds and woke up in the water calling for help, then got confused on why I was calling for help.
Bonus : A Sea lion once came up to me while I was scuba diving and did little circles, bumped its snout on my mask and just followed me the whole time in a very gleeful manner as a temporary homie.
Bonus 2: Apparently ate / took bites of my moms library books as a little kid (????) according to the librarian.
Jade: Taught myself to untie my hands with my hands behind my back, tie by hands behind my back with my hands behind my back, deciphered, translated and memorized a fictional hieroglyphic language, Read from Act 1 to Act 6 of Homestuck, and accidentally discovered how to disguise Chocolate Ice Cream as Pistachio; all within the span of 2 weeks. (I had covid and was A-Symptomatic)
Bonus : Lived in the Woods for 7 months (in total), had a large bag of mica and Almost Drowned in a tent when there was no moving water nor rain. (Basically, I was asleep, Woke up underwater, nearly went back to bed, then shot out of my tent screaming “My Tent Titanticed!” )
(It was like 3 am don’t judge me)
Azul: Somehow ended up with $2200 dollars in $100s in Monopoly at the end of the game. Also have been stuck between two identical twins while talking with both and boi that shits TRIPPY. (I also almost died with them later but it was fine)
Bonus: I lived on a middle of fuck knows where island during the spring and summer up until covid, yet I absolutely despise eating fish or Shellfish, and the smell often makes me nauseous.
(Bonus 2: I love shiny things, but very specifically fancy looking keys. I also had a weird obsession with signing a shiny contract after watching Ariel. Another tiny thing Is I own a Flotsam and Jetsam Scarf which I chuck around when Floyd or Jade pisses me off ingame.)
Kalim : Got distracted by a cool leaf while at a fancy resort in Xatapa, Mexico, and waddled off from my parents and explored around to try and find more, somehow managed to get extremely far and ended up lost in a whole different city for 6 hours while trying to find my way back.
Bonus 1: I had an obsession with Kiwis for awhile as a kid, and our neighbors house had a Pangium tree that reached over to our yard. (It was planted before either families moved in so we didn’t know) I thought it was some kind of strange Kiwi and ate one. I didn’t like it and was like “Oh maybe its not ripe” and waited 3-5 months then tried it again, same reaction, repeat process one more time.
I went to my parents out of curiosity and asked them what it was, and so after some process I am unaware of but I think my mom brought one of the fruits somewhere, we discovered what it was.
Pangium contains Fatal amounts of Cyanide if not properly prepared. I was fine but for the love of anything please don’t try eating it like little me did.
Bonus 2: I’ve Almost died more times than I can count on both hands and feet. Im not an heir or something fancy I just have wackass luck.
Jamil: Once had to talk my sister out of jumping off a tour boat because our cousin dared her to.
Bonus : Managed to make French Toast in the middle of the woods with Dehydrated Milk, Cinnamon, Three Eggs I stole, and a loaf of bread we got once a month. Also made 3 kinds marinated chicken in the middle of the woods.
(My Cooking Style is literally “just trust me bro.” I’m like Lilia except it actually works and is edible)
Epel : Whenever we went applepicking at my Grandfathers house, I’d climb into the trees and throw or pass the apples down. Sometimes I actually wish I could sit in trees more often shits comfy.
Bonus: My Mom was a Champion Horseback Rider as a kid, and sometimes took us to this Dude Ranch I shall not name for my own privacy, but I’d run around with this group of kids and this one herding dog like a damn movie protagonist, sometimes go riding horses, or the one time we stole a tractor and near crashed it (THE REGRETS I STILL HAVE-) etc.
The WHIPLASH from that to going back to a whitewashed Northeast suburban town is insane.
Rook: My Cousins and I, and sometimes the kids at the priorly mentioned ranch, would play the most intense games of manhunt (basically really intense hide n seek at night) ,
I mean wearing camo if you had it, alliances, little dollar store walkie-talkies, code words, binoculars, climbing in trees or hiding in bushes/tall grasses/Hay to “scout”.
I hid in a large pot/vase more than once and another time on a roof, and (ONLY ONCE, DO NOT DO THIS IM STUPID) under a car.
I still remain the top in last man standing points. Mostly bcs I’m stingy with rescues but shhh
Vil - Accidentally poured a lot of liquid eyeliner into my eye, was literally crying out Eyeliner for 30 minutes. Also taught myself to run and jump in heels as a kid because I thought it looked cool in movies.
Ortho : Unknowingly was Hacking my Elementary School Databank for several years,
I genuinely thought it was normal to go on the school website, press a few buttons and be able to find a friends address if I had a playdate and needed to tell my mom where the house was, a parents phone number if needed communication with my friends parents , and mostly ignored the other general info.
I didn’t even know I did this until my dad told me a few months ago that I almost got suspended for it but by the time they found out it was the end of my last year there. ;—;
Idia: Accidentally acquired both a Nahida and Eula in Genshin and was genuinely annoyed at the time, they are now my most powerful DPS’s…
Bonus : I own a shit ton of original Japanese first edition Pokemon Cards my cousin gave me, (they are probably worth more than me which is neat), and I have a giant pile of Pokemon plushies I have infact fallen asleep on or in on multiple occasions.
Bonus 2: I was playing Breath of the Wild, and my very first thing I did after getting off the plateau was beeline for the castle. I actually got all the way up and took out 2 blights but the Wind one kicked my ass.
Bonus 3: Got confessed to and asked out by a guy I did not like nor knew very well, and I panicked, said “Maybe, Sorry no.” And ran into a wall. Also have crawled through a chute to avoid an awkward situation as a kid (do not recommend its dusty and definitely not safe)
Bonus 4: Once didn’t sleep for 5 days.
Malleus : Accidentally attended a Private Party and a Private Funeral in the same week. I was not invited nor knew anyone present. Stayed there for most of it because I was too nervous to say I wasn’t supposed to be there. Whoop.
Bonus: Got nicknamed the “Trip Curse.” By my Old Dormmates because everytime I went on a trip with them everything seemed to go to shit or get hella chaotic.
Bonus 2: Another camping one: Once woke up at night with a shit ton of fireflies just chilling in my tent. It was serene but also I genuinely thought I was hallucinating for a few minutes.
Lilia: Literally will hang upside down anywhere I can, its so fun bro.
Bonus : I know an extremely large amount of useless historical information, and once genuinely realized I know more about poison than what flour and eggs are used for in baking.
Silver : Once befriended a wild horse ( Im like 90% sure he was a Chestnut).
I called him Clover the Dog like horse because he was honestly just a golden retriever in the body of a horse.
This is great and theres alot of sweet moments, but then theres the times you have a giant horse galloping full speed at you for attention or trying to nudge you affectionately and nearly pushing you into a creek in the process.
Sebek: Got groundstruck by lightning once. Also I am often told I have a loud voice.
Che’nya : a good friend of mine and I have an inside joke at school where if we see eachother through a window (my school has alot of indoor windows for some reason?), we’ll text the other “Behind you.” Or “To your left.”
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Theres more things I can think of but I have run out of characters and this is getting too long, so ye!