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Ft. Agent Kallus - Blog Posts

3 years ago

galaxywon​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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Kallus  scanned  the  cluttered  vicinity,  but  found  no  issue  with  it.  He’d  been  in  much  tighter  situations  before,  both  as  an  Imperial  and  as  a  rebel.  Their  ship  seemed  homey,  lived  in,  more  clutter  than  he  had  ever  allowed  in  his  own  but  nothing  to  make  him  uncomfortable.  “  Thank  you.  “  he  nodded  politely,  back  set  straight  as  they  sat  down.  He  had  planned  to  be  as  quiet  as  possible,  melt  into  the  wall  if  he  was  able,  but  Sabine’s  words  cut  through  his  plans  almost  immediately.  He  cleared  his  throat,  careful  not  to  meet  their  eyes  as  reached  for  the  data  padd  in  his  pack.  “  We’ve  spoken,  “  he  started  off,  not  knowing  how  much  he  wanted  to  tell  Sabine,  or  how  much  Zeb  would.  They  were  from  this  time,  knew  that  he  and  Xeb  had  been  much  more  than  roommates.  He  could  speak  freely  about  it  in  these  walls  if  he  wanted  to.  

He  wasn’t  sure  he  could  without  feeling  sick.  “  We  met  at  a  party  a  while  back.  They  hadn’t  been  back  for  too  long.  “  he  explained.  “  I  was…..  Inebriated.  Not  of  my  own  doing,  of  course.  “  He  explained.  She  would  knew  what  he  was  talking  about.  The  talk  of  that  evening  would  go  on  for  quite  a  while  he  assumed.  “  It  didn’t  go  well.  I  didn’t……  I  couldn’t  tell  him.  I’m  not  going  to  change  his  whole  perception  of  reality.  It  would  be  selfish.  “  

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Galaxywon​ // Alexsandr Kallus

They listened while lines bloomed on the screen beneath her fingertips. They could feel his mounting anxiety, could tell the subject was a sensitive one. It marked him like a line of sutures, and she wasn’t looking to deepen the cut. Uneasy humor nestled on their tongue at the mention of the fundraiser.

“Oh fuck, that party? Yeah, I think we all had our fair share of embarrassment.”

But, he continued, and emotions settled, like a fine sediment sinking to the bottom of a riverbed. Strokes became longer, less even, as they reflected upon the silence in between words. Measured the pauses that gave depth to the hurt.

“Fuck. I’m. I’m sorry, Alexsandr. I know how much he means to you. But, for what it’s worth,” they spoke, this time meeting his tired gaze. “I don’t think you’re selfish. Love is...it’s weird, and complicated. Sometimes it fucking sucks.” They offered a smile, though one marked with an untraceable sadness. How long had it been since the Mandalorian had been in love? Real, true love? Still, this wasn’t about her.

“Look, maybe you can find your way back to where you were, maybe you can’t, but. But, please, Alex.” they leaned forward even from across the cabin, reaching for him in a way no physical touch could ever convey.  “I’m here for you. Aliit ori'shya tal'din.” Family is more than blood. With that admission, the Mandalorian leaned back and picked up the pace of the stylus between their fingers. This tattoo, it seemed, might be a distraction from them both. Family is more than blood, but what if you were the one holding the knife?


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3 years ago

galaxywon​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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Sabine  had  been  Imperial,  even  though  their  time  had  ended  much  before  his  own.  They  knew  what  it  felt  like  to  be  forced  to  adhere  to  something  that  took    away  any  case  of  individuality.  But  she  didn’t  know  what  it  felt  like  to  believe  it  with  your  whole  being.  He  would  have  died  for  The  Empire,  almost  had  on  multiple  occasions.  He  thought  his  life  was  worth  something  with  them,  didn’t  know  true  value  until  he  had  been  challenged  to  question  things.  Being  an  Imperial  had  been  his  entire  life.  It  was  still  his  deepest  shame.  He  could  tell  by  the  way  they  analyzed  the  images  that  they  understood  what  it  meant.  “  I  fear  if  I  don’t  do  it  soon,  I  never  will.  “  he  admitted,  turning  away  from  them  to  try  to  hide  some  of  the  emotions  passing  through  his  face.  

“  I  can  sit  with  you  while  you  draw  if  you’d  like.  “  It  was  more  for  him  than  it  was  for  Sabine,  of  course.  He  wasn’t  sure  he  could  sit  around  and  wait  for  her  to  be  done.  “  I  have  some  mission  reports  I  could  fill  out.  “  He  knew  without  trying  that  he  wouldn’t  get  a  thing  done  while  he  was  waiting  for  them,  but  he  could  pretend.  “  Just…..  Don’t  tell  Garazeb  about  this.  Please.  “  

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Galaxywon​ // Alexsandr Kallus

“ I understand.” She replied, though they both knew she couldn’t fully comprehend all he was feeling. Still, they felt the weight that sat on his shoulders. They understood its significance. None of the Spectres blamed Kallus for what he’d done, but Sabine knew that hearing something and believing it were two different things. Gods, did they know that...

“Please, make yourself at home,” she nodded, motioning to the cluttered interior of the ship. Sure, the cabin was a bit of a mess, but they got the feeling her friend wouldn’t mind. Well...maybe he’d mind a little, but the Ghost crew had always been so lovably chaotic. At their’s friend’s next request, though, her smile weakened, and they nodded solemnly.

“Speaking of Zeb,” they asked, already opening the digital art application on her datapad, “can I ask how you two are? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” they added with a rush, careful to give him the chance to say no if he wanted. “I just know that with the whole time skip shit, everything’s been so...different.” A pause, as she rested stylus on screen. “Have you talked to them since?”


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3 years ago

cptfulcrum​ // alexsandr kallus

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Kallus  has  long  since  known  that  the  Ghost  crew  had  forgiven  him  for  the  atrocities  he’s  committed.  Even  as  he  struggled  to  understand  how  or  why,  he  would  be  grateful  to  his  final  days  for  friends  such  as  them.  Sabine  would  understand  the  significance  of  this  in  a  way  that  no  one  else  tasked  would.  They  would  understand  the  research  that  had  gone  into  this,  the  inner  turmoil  while  he  had  struggled  with  the  Imperial  idea  of  his  body.  Years  later  and  it  haunted  him,  the  guidelines  beat  into  their  soldiers.  “  Thank  you.  “  he  said  simply,  nodding  his  head  as  he  put  his  personal  code  into  the  datapad.  Then  he  handed  it  off  to  them,  the  picture  simple  and  not  able  to  be  understood  to  someone  that  didn’t  know  him.  The  Fulcrum  Symbol  featured,  with  fauna  native  to  Lira  San  in  another  image.  Finally,  a  third  image  of  some  flowers  native  to  Lasan.  He’s  no  artist,  but  has  a  vision.  He  knows  Sabine  is  the  one  to  execute  that  for  him.  “  This  is  quite  personal  to  me.  I  want  a  tattoo.  “  it’s  to  the  point,  lacks  the  emotion  he  has  surrounding  the  whole  idea,  and  his  insecurities  about  how  Zeb  would  feel  about  the  whole  thing.  “  If  it’s  amenable  for  you,  I’d  prefer  you  to  help  me  with  this.  “  

Cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus
Cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

The image drew a sharp inhale from the Mandalorian. The concept was striking, a symbol equal parts sharp and soft, a contrast of edges and curves. It was as though the picture itself was blooming before her eyes; she could already see the colors springing to life, filling the spaces between lines. They thought of the equipment that sat just inside her ship and the weeks since it had been used. It was a practice she was well-versed in-- but this time was different. It was so much more than ink and skin.

“Kallus, I...” But what words could she speak to answer a request so heavy? Sabine understood, of course they understood, what this meant to him. They could imagine the struggle he’d faced just to ask so much of her, the nights he must have wrestled with the regulations the Empire had imposed on him since boyhood. The tattoos she had were-- like so many other things-- an act of rebellion against them. And now it was his turn. Wordlessly, she nodded, holding his tired gaze with their own. Their grip on his hand tightened. 

“When do you want to do this? I can have a few digital drafts made up withing a few hours, but I won’t rush you. Take it on your own time, and I’ll follow you.”


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3 years ago

cptfulcrum​ // alexsandr kallus

“  I  have  a  request,  if  you’re  up  for  it.  “  His  face  is  neutral,  but  there’s  a  nervous  way  that  his  eyes  twitch  to  the  datapad  down  at  his  hands  that  would  show  to  someone  that  knows  him,  like  Sabine,  that  the  request  is  not  simply  work  related.  “  If  not,  I  am  hoping  you  can  point  me  in  the  right  direction  of  someone  who  can  help.  “  

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@call-me-spectre-five​​ 

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With a youthful smirk that her mother would have chided at, Sabine rolled their eyes. “Kallus, how long have we been friends?” But instead of waiting for an answer, she proceeded with the same humor. “Years, di’kut. You’ve been a pain in my ass for years.” Then, noticing the anxiety he carried, the fluttering of eyelashes, fingertips-- she stilled, reaching to place their hand over his own. Hoping to provide some fraction of reassurance. Voice quieter and slower, they answered, eyes never wavering from his gaze. “Hey, you’re my friend. Of course I’m gonna help you. What can I do?”

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3 years ago

❛  can  i  come  with  you ?  ❜ ( from kallus )

Though the war was over, Sabine still found this base to be crowded on occasion; a hangar so close to the Core Worlds had its uses, after all. It was nice to see so many familiar faces, albeit a little overwhelming. But if they were going to leave for the mission, the time was now.

"You know I won't turn down that offer, Kallus." They passed his comlink back, frequency now in tune with the one at her hip. "Besides, I could always use the conversation. Hyperspace can be so boring, you know."

❛  Can  I  Come  With  You ?  ❜ ( From Kallus )

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3 years ago

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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As  much  as  this  would  have  shocked  his  former  self,  Kallus  genuinely  cared  about  each  of  the  Spectres.  He  knew  his  friendship  with  Zeb  helped  with  that.  He  cared  about  the  Lasat,  so  of  course  he  would  care  for  Zeb’s  family.  It  wasn’t  all  that  however.  They  hadn’t  treated  him  horribly  after  his  defection,  something  that  he  still  thought  he  deserved.  They  were  dedicated  rebels,  accomplished  strategists,  caring  people.  He  was  lucky  to  have  friends  like  them,  especially  now,  when  everything  felt  like  it  was  falling  apart.  He  knew  that  Sabine  could  relate  to  that.  They  all  could  now.  

He  was  being  protective.  It  wasn’t  necessary,  not  with  Sabine.  They  cared  for  Zeb  as  much  as  he  did  if  not  more.  It  was  an  interesting  relationship,  theirs  was.  Maybe  it  was  because  he’s  never  had  anything  like  that  before.  “  I’m  sorry.  “  he  expels  a  breath,  focusing  in  on  the  way  they  chipped  the  dirt  off  of  their  armor.  “  I  know  you  mean  well.  Zeb  is  lucky  to  have  such  caring  friends.  I  just….  “  he  trailed  off,  running  a  hand  through  his  beard.  Having  friends  was  sometimes  much  harder  than  not  having  them.  “  We  were  happy  on  Lira  San.  “  he  admitted,  quieter  than  before.  “  We  were  happy.  “  It  felt  like  so  long  ago,  before  they  had  heard  of  Ezra’s  death  and  before  he  had  decided  to  leave.  It  felt  like  a  long  time  ago,  but  it  hadn’t  been  a  great  length  of  time.

“  I  just  want  him  to  continue  to  be  happy.  “  Kallus  confided,  sucking  in  another  breath.  It  was  only  tactful  to  ignore  the  tears  that  Sabine  was  letting  out,  just  as  she  was  ignoring  the  ones  threatening  to  fall  from  his  eyes.  He  hadn’t  truly  cried  in  a  long  time.  He  started  towards  his  back,  quietly.  He  thought  about  Sabine’s  words.  They  were  both  Imperial  defectors,  though  she  was  much  better  than  he.  It  took  him  almost  two  decades  to  figure  out  what  they  had  before  they  even  graduated  the  Academy.  “  I  wouldn’t  go  comparing  yourself  to  the  likes  of  me.  “  he  said,  hoping  his  tone  sounded  as  light  as  he  wanted  it  to.  His  eyes  met  theirs  and  he  nodded.  That  was  one  thing  they  could  agree  on  at  least.  “  Would  it  be  quite  childish  of  me  to  suggest  a  race?  “  he  grinned,  already  mounting  his  speeder,  hoping  that  maybe  they  could  ignore  the  despair  they  both  felt  for  just  a  bit.  

As  he  rode  through  the  desert  his  hair  whipped  around  him.  He  should  have  tied  it  up  before  starting  this  journey.  It  had  grown  much  longer.  The  Empire  would  never  have  stood  for  that.  It  made  him  grin  to  himself  at  the  thought.  The  more  he  changed,  the  more  he  rebelled  against  what  the  Empire  instilled  in  him,  the  more  he  felt  like  he  was  finally  becoming  who  he  meant  to  be.  

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

“It would only be childish if you lost!” Sabine shouted as they mounted the speeder bike, already racing over the terrain with a wide smile. The wind did nothing for the silent tears hidden beneath her visor. Fuck. She hated crying, but found herself doing it so much lately...Instead, they redirected attention to the passing foliage, the colors that blended and swirled around her. 

Kallus was no stranger to a speeder, it was obvious, but she was sure she had more practical experience. He might have studied at the Academy, but Sabine had been riding since they were a child, since the occupation of the Empire on Mandalore. How he saw in that nest of hair, they couldn’t imagine, but somehow he actually caught an edge on her, turned a corner with more agility and speed than they thought possible.

“Oh, no you don’t!”

They took a risk, cutting through the underbrush, hoping it would help close the gap, but--

“Second place? Dank farrik, Kallus. I’ve got to hand it to you, you know your way around a speeder bike, old man.” They taunted with a sly upturn of the lip. “C’mon, first round’s on me.”


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3 years ago

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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It  was  times  like  this  where  Kallus  thought  about  how  young  Sabine  and  Ezra  had  been  when  the  war  had  started.  They  were  not  much  older  than  children,  yet  to  the  enemy  they  had  been  heinous  rebels.  No  remorse  for  even  an  orphan  like  Ezra,  who  had  learned  to  survive.  He  had  chased  them  like  dogs.  As  they  spoke  to  him  he  sighed.  He  knew  all  about  that.  The  Empire  had  instilled  so  many  beliefs  in  him  and  it  had  taken  two  times  as  much  work  for  him  to  realize  that  the  brainwashing  was  just  that.  He  was  a  cog  in  the  machine,  no  one  special.  There  was  so  much  he  could  actually  do.  It  was  liberating  when  he  had  finally  started  asking  questions,  gaining  an  awareness.  The  cloud  had  been  lifted.  It  sounded  similar  for  his  Mandalorian  friend.  “  You  are  right  of  course…..  Not  everyone  has  the  same  idea  of  peace.  “  his  peace  had  been  sitting  on  his  porch  with  Zeb,  actually  able  to  take  a  breath  of  fresh  air.  A  home  that  was  his.  What  was  his  peace  now?  

It  was  easy  for  him  to  notice  how  Sabine  was  able  to  turn  things  back  to  him  and  how  poorly  he  was  doing.  But  he  didn’t  want  to  think  about  that  now,  Zeb  back  on  Lira  San,  abandoned  by  Kallus  to  go  on  some  self  serving  mission  to  capture  Thrawn,  only  stopping  because  he  was  worried  about  his  friends.  His  jaw  clenched  and  he  looked  away  again.  He  couldn’t  explain  this,  not  to  anyone.  “  Zeb’s  been  fighting  a  long  time.  Longer  than  many  of  us.  I  don’t…..  I  can’t  pull  him  back  in.  He  deserves  peace  more  than  anyone  I  know.  “  his  tone  is  guarded  now  and  when  he  looks  back,  his  eyes  are  colder.  No  one  would  agree  with  him  more  than  the  Ghost  Crew,  but  he  needed  to  make  his  intentions  clear.  Kallus  knew  that  Zeb  could  and  would  make  his  own  choice  if  need  be,  but  he  didn’t  want  it  to  come  to  that  point.  

He  shouldn’t  be  so  tense  with  Sabine.  The  Ghost  Crew  had  changed  his  life,  gave  him  something  to  actually  make  it  worth  while.  What  would  he  be  without  them?  Still,  Garazeb  made  him  question  everything  to  begin  with,  called  him  friend  when  he  deserved  anything  but.  He  would  protect  the  Lasat  with  all  he  had.  “  A  drink  sounds  nice.  “  he  agreed,  eyeing  them.  “  I  don’t  mean  to  be….  Harsh.  I  just  don’t  want  to  pull  him  back  into  this.  Not  unless  he  really  wants  to.  I  just  want  him  to  be  happy,  Sabine.  You  must  understand  that.  “  He  pulled  his  jacket  closer  to  him,  “  Do  you  have  a  cantina  in  mind?  “  

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

Tension permeated the air as her friend tightened his jaw. Sabine noticed the turning in his eyes, the shift from comfort to pain. They realized in that instant that their advice may have been too critical, could have come off as blaming this man for caring too much. That’s the last thing she wanted to convey. She knew how much Kallus meant to Zeb. How much they both meant to each other.

“Kallus, I think I...might not have explained myself well.” They took a breath, chose their words with more caution this time, careful not to seem judgmental. “I’m not blaming you, my friend,” they said with hesitancy as they reached down to wipe a smudge of dirt off the pigment of her armor. It needed a repainting soon, they noted.

“I understand how much you care for Zeb. For-- Well, for all of us.” They held his gaze, hoping to show him how much she cared too. “I just worry, is all. Well, I. And, I know-- I know we’ve been through...similar experiences.” They gritted their teeth through a smile and nodded. “I really don’t blame you one bit, Kallus. I just want you to be careful. For Zeb.” For all of us. They wiped the corner of their eye quickly, ignoring the moisture that had formed there. They’d both been through so much. This war had cost them both so much.

“C’mon, the Twisted Mynock Cantina is just a couple of klicks from here. Besides, I’ve gotta return this speeder bike to some old smuggler by sundown.”

As the two walked to where their bikes were parked, Sabine reached up, slowly, and placed their hand on Kallus’s shoulder. They had more in common than either of them cared to admit.

“I could really use that drink right about now.” 


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3 years ago

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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You  deserve  that.  Through  the  war  there  was  nothing  he  thought  he  deserved  more  than  a  prison  cell.  As  Fulcrum  he  had  done  some  good.  That  he  could  acknowledge.  It  was  the  only  thing  that  kept  him  waking  up  for  almost  a  year,  the  only  true  purpose  that  kept  him  at  bay.  He  had  done  more  when  he  had  truly  defected,  become  a  full  fledged  member  of  the  Rebellion.  But  so  many  people  had  seen  the  error  of  their  ways  before  he  had,  refused  to  cross  a  line  that  made  them  that  terrible  person  he  had  known  he  was.  Sabine  had  left  the  Imperial  Academy  when  they  learned  what  their  weapons  were  being  used  for.  They  had  morals.  It  had  taken  him  far  longer.  

Still,  the  words  coming  from  The  Mandalorian  are  said  with  good  intentions  and  he  smiles  a  little,  tipping  his  head  in  thanks.  In  truth,  he  would  have  done  anything  that  Garazeb  had  asked  him  to  afterwards.  He  wasn’t  willing  to  throw  one  of  the  only  good  things  in  his  life  away.  Even  if  the  thought  of  going  to  Lira  San  would  have  turned  his  insides,  had  he  known  before  they  arrived.  He  supposed  that’s  why  it  remained  a  secret  to  no  one  but  him.  “  The  war  has  changed  us  all  so  much,  hasn’t  it  ??  “  he  questioned  vaguely,  turning  away  from  them.  All  of  their  friends  and  loved  ones  had  been  scarred,  some  more  than  others,  but  The  Empire.  Even  at  its  end  there  was  still  pain.  So  much  unknown.  “  do  Mandalorians  long  for  peace  like  many  do  ??  “  he  asked.  “  Because  I  think  you  deserve  it  too,  if  you  want  it.  “  

He  looked  down  as  she  continued,  not  able  to  speak  as  the  words  faded  between  them.  He  felt  a  little  like  he  was  betraying  Zeb  by  looking  into  Thrawn’s  movements,  that  he  was  pushing  away  the  home  that  they  had  made  together.  It  wasn’t  that,  never  that,  but  he  needed  to  do  something  after  Ezra’s  death.  He  couldn’t  watch  the  mourning  of  his  closest  friend  any  longer.  “  It  is  okay  to  be…..  Struggling.  “  he  finally  decided  was  the  word,  looking  back  at  her.  “  I  know  I  have  been,  as  Zeb  has.  “  he  admitted.  “  Lately  I’ve  felt  restless.  I  want  throw  myself  back  into  something,  though  I  didn’t  know  what.  “  Even  as  he  tells  Sabine  that  it’s  okay  to  be  hurting,  he’s  admitting  that  he’s  attempted  to  ignore  all  of  that  for  action.  It  was  a  typical  imperial  response.  Again,  his  decades  of  training  back  at  the  forefront  of  his  world.  “  Zeb  would  be  happy  to  see  you,  if  you  wished  to  come  visit.  “  he  finally  said.  

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

Heavy emotion clouded the air between them, and silence counted itself as a member of the conversation. Sabine’s lips upturned into a small, wistful smile. They hesitated while their friend spoke what he needed to, and nodded when he was done.

“...I think we all reach for peace, Kallus, but in different ways. Some people, not just my own, think the best way to order is through spilled blood. I used to think the same.”

She paused. They could feel the emotion radiating off him, as much as he tried to guard himself against it. She wasn’t nearly as intuitive as their Jedi friends, but she knew the guilt and shame he grappled with. She recognized the hollow gaze in his eyes when he talked about the toll of war.

“Thank you, for coming all the way out here, for finding me.” They considered his words, still weighted on the air. You deserve it, too. She let that settle within her and instead decided to address the other part of his assurances.” I know I’m not in any place to give advice, but....I understand the need to keep working, to bury yourself in it. Really, I do. But, I’ve been learning-- there’s a fine line between keeping the people you love safe and abandoning them altogether.” 

So much went unsaid between the two, and she hoped he felt the same understanding in the commas, the sentiment in between words.

“Kallus, if time and place permitted, I would love to visit you both on Lira San someday.” To see the home you’ve made together. “But, until then, how do you feel about getting a drink?”


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3 years ago

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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Kallus  knew,  just  as  much  as  the  rest  of  them,  how  easy  it  was  to  be  alone.  Solitary  had  been  his  comfort.  As  an  ISB  agent  they  were  conditioned  to  be  on  the  outside.  They  weren’t  in  the  same  chain  of  command  as  the  rest  of  the  Imperial  Navy.  They  were  internal  affairs,  never  trusted.  His  career  had  been  based  in  solitude.  He  hadn’t  realized  until  he  joined  the  Rebellion  that  maybe  he  did  prefer  the  company  of  others.  Others  like  the  Spectres,  like  Zeb  and  Hera  and  Sabine.  “  You  don’t  need  to  explain  yourself.  “  he  countered,  finally  relaxing  his  stance,  hands  moving  into  the  pockets  of  his  jacket.  “  But  do  not  feel  the  need  to  go  through  life  without  us.  We  are  here  for  you.  “  

His  eyes  studied  their  face,  watching  the  way  their  stance  relaxed  slowly.  Alexsandr  didn’t  want  Sabine  to  feel  the  need  to  assure  him  that  everything  was  okay,  but  he  understood  the  reasons  why.  It  was  easy  to  forget  that  they  had  been  at  the  Imperial  Academy.  It  was  a  lesson  ingrained  from  the  very  beginning,  to  not  let  emotions  cloud  ones  judgement.  It  was  something  he  had  taken  to  heart.  As  a  Mandalorian,  he  assumed  it  was  second  nature  to  them.  “  I  am  glad  then.  “  he  didn’t  believe  them,  but  he  also  wouldn’t  argue  now.  Not  when  he  had  just  come  back.  

“  We’ve  been  integrating  Lira  San  with  the  New  Republic.  Very  slowly.  Understandably,  many  are  apprehensive.  Some  survivors  from  Lasan  believe  that  another  attack  in  imminent.  “  he  spoke  mechanically,  not  allowing  his  own  guilt  from  the  event  to  break  through.  Sabine  knew  enough  about  his  past.  “  Garazeb  is  well,  if  that’s  what  you  are  wondering.  Though  he  misses  his  family.  “  he  met  their  eyes  again,  raising  his  brows.  “  If  it  can  be  believed,  we  have  found  as  close  to  a  retirement  as  possible  for  soldiers.  “  At  least  they  had,  before  Ezra  and  their  guilt.  Now  his  mission  for  Thrawn.  “  I  haven’t  heard  any  updates  on  you  as  of  late.  What  have  you  been  doing  ??  “  

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

Sabine examined Kallus’s face while he spoke, studying how he measured his words and weighed his expressions before speaking to them. There was more he wanted to say, she was sure, but they weren’t about to pry. His words echoed in their ears. We are here for you. 

Dank farrik, Sabine had been stupid. With their wandering about the galaxy with no contact, it was not surprising that Zeb had sent Kallus to check on her. The rest of the Ghost crew, they must be worried. That same feeling of shame boiled in the pit of their stomach, but they smiled to Kallus, nodding as he spoke about her old friend and his people. She knew how difficult it must be for Kallus to be on Lira San, how guilty he must feel. Still, they knew how hard he was trying-- and how much it meant to Zeb that he was there.

“I am...glad to hear you and Zeb are doing well.” She paused, wondering if they should voice their next thought. “You...deserve that, you know. A peaceful life away from the politics and danger of it all. You both do.”

When nothing was said to fill the silence between them, Sabine continued, finally answering the question she had been trying to avoid.

“I guess you haven’t heard from me because I haven’t really been in the action. I’m still with the Rebellion, just not in the heart of the fight. At least, not right now. I’ve been...” They hesitated, knowing that whatever she said would be repeated to her old friend. “I mean, you know how slow it is, trying to chase dead leads on information for the Rebellion. It’s an unreliable business. But, I’m glad you’re settled down now. Your days of action over, right?”


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3 years ago

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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Kallus  wouldn’t  pull  his  own  weapon  on  them,  just  a  small  blaster,  something  that  he  felt  more  comforted  when  he  had  on  his  hip.  Just  another  Imperial  regulation  that  he  had  never  quite  slipped  out  of.  He  didn’t  carry  on  Lira  San.  But  now  that  he  had  slowly  been  working  outside  of  the  planet,  he  felt  the  need  to.  Especially  now  that  he  had  actively  started  tracking  Grand  Admiral  Thrawn.  But  he  knew  the  Mandalorian  understood  the  need  for  a  weapon.  He  watched  closely,  waiting  for  a  moment  where  Sabine’s  dominant  arm  would  aim  to  fire.  Thankfully,  it  never  happened.  His  shoulders  relaxed  slightly,  though  their  question  had  him  pause.  

His  own  justification  was  that  Zeb  was  worried  about  Sabine  but  trusted  her  too  much  to  actually  do  anything  about  his  worry.  He  didn’t  want  to  admit  that  he  was  worried  too,  worried  about  all  of  the  Spectres.  The  loss  of  Ezra  had  hit  them  all  hard,  just  after  getting  him  back.  “  Like  I  said,  we  were  concerned.  “  he  replied,  stepping  closer  now  that  their  weapon  was  holstered.  “  I  was  in  the  area.  Zeb  was  not.  “  the  area  was  a  very  vague  statement,  vague  enough  that  he  didn’t  have  to  explain  that  he  wasn’t  on  Lira  San  and  that’s  why  it  was  easier  for  him  than  her  fellow  Spectre.  “  I  thought  it  would  assuage  his  worries  if  he  knew  I  saw  you.  “  it  would  lessen  his  own,  certainly.  

Sabine  could,  without  a  doubt,  take  care  of  any  situation  that  arrived.  But  this  wasn’t  something  able  to  be  handled.  It  was  the  death  of  someone  very  close  to  them  all.  It  wasn’t  as  simple  as  planting  a  bomb  or  shooting  a  blaster.  He  wished  it  was.  “  You  should  come  visit.  I  know  Zeb  misses  you.  “  

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She stood still, rooted to the spot by the mention of her friend’s name. It was a punch to the gut, an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Sabine had left Zeb (and so many others) in the dark for weeks, months now. They didn’t mean to cause any pain. She just needed time, distance away from everyone. It had always been easier to figure things out alone.

When situations started to tense and sour at home, Sabine had joined the Imperial Academy. When she realized just what they were using her for, they had defected into the Rebellion. Even after the Ghost crew had given them a home, a real family, she had left. And, here she was, running again.

At last they shifted their weight uneasily, heavy with guilt and shame.

“Thank you. I-I should have reached out sooner, I just...” needed to do this on my own, she wanted to say. But instead, they let the words hang in the air, taking up the uneasy space between the two. 

“I’m fine, Kallus. I appreciate you coming out here and all, but really, I’m good.” She stepped forward, stance relaxed now that they knew they were in the presence of a friend, not an enemy. Instead of expressing the emotions gnawing at her inside, they attempted to make light of the conversation.

“What are you and Zeb up to these days, anyways?”


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3 years ago

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

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Everyone  was  struggling  with  Ezra’s  untimely  death.  So  many  unanswered  questions,  so  much  pain.  He  knew  that  Zeb  felt  it,  which  is  another  reason  why  Kallus  had  been  keeping  his  distance  from  Lira  San  as  of  late.  He  wanted  to  allow  his  friend  to  grieve  in  the  way  he  saw  fit.    That’s  what  he  was  telling  himself  at  least.  Watching  Zeb  and  Hera  grieve  Ezra  once  was  excruciating.  He  didn’t  think  he  could  do  it  again,  not  when  he  was  still  reeling  from  getting  the  kid  (  man  really  )  back  and  losing  him  again.  Allowing  himself  to  work  again,  for  the  New  Republic,  had  given  him  purpose.  When  he  had  heard  from  Zeb  that  Sabine  hadn’t  been  in  contact  for  a  while,  he  knew  that  he  had  to  check  in  on  her.

Tracking  a  Mandalorian  was  no  easy  task,  even  for  ex-ISB.  Whispers  of  the  warrior  in  the  painted  armor  had  finally  lead  him  someplace.  He  had  landed  his  ship  a  few  clicks  north  and  had  been  on  a  speeder.  When  he  saw  the  lone  speeder  that  he  hoped  belong  to  them,  he  slowed  down  before  getting  off  of  the  bike.  He  left  it  idling,  not  sure  if  Sabine  even  wanted  to  see  him.  He  wouldn’t  be  particularly  surprised  if  they  preferred  their  alone  time  right  now.  But  he  had  to  try,  at  the  very  least.  

He  approached  slowly,  a  hand  on  his  blaster,  just  in  case  it  was  not  their  friend  that  he  found,  but  a  potential  foe  instead.  One  could  never  be  too  careful,  especially  when  he  had  been  attempting  to  track  Grand  Admiral  Thrawn.  “  Sabine  ??  “  he  called,  finally  passing  the  clearing  and  seeing  them.  “  It’s  Kallus.  Garazeb  was….  Well,  we  were  worried.  “  he  admitted,  “  I  told  him  I’d  come  and  check  up  on  you.  “  

@cptfulcrum​ // Alexsandr Kallus

Sabine looked up at the sound of a speeder bike in the distance, all mechanical hum and rattle. They froze, hoping it was just another passerby and not anyone she knew. Working quickly, they stowed tools in exchange for a blaster, aiming it at the thicket before them. 

Something that sounded like her name carried across the wind, and they planted their feet sternly, breathing deepening in preparation for battle.

Who had the will to track her down all the way to this remote planet on the edges of the Outer Rim? What did they want with her? The stranger’s words were muffled and distorted from crossing through wind and distance, though she could see the shape of their body winding towards her in the foliage. Her heart jumped to their throat. After all this time fighting, after the wars she was raised in, still they felt a twinge of anxiety at the prospect of confrontation. Stalks of foreign plants rustled with movement, and a figure emerged into the clearing with a hand on their gun. Sabine stood, still as a stone.

Kallus? 

Was it really him, that old Imperial-turned-Rebel, after all? Last she had heard, he was on Lira San, helping to rebuild the Lasat species on their homeworld, (and spending a lot of time with Zeb, too). Could it be him, this man whose story mirrored their own in too many ways? Yet, here he stood in front of her, eyes wide as their own. 

“Dank farrik,” they finally murmured. They lowered their blaster, but the tension did not leave the muscles in her arm (or in the air between the two figures).

“Kallus. If I’m being honest, you are the last person I expected to see here. Wh-” they holstered their gun. “What are you doing here?”


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