Hikari's Recs!! - Blog Posts

hi, congrats on 100! your writing is amazing!! could i request a thoma first quarter with polaris, orion and bezek please?

hi love!!💖💖 thank you so much😭💕i really hope you enjoy what i wrote for thoma- i love him, fiery lover boy❤️

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thoma x gn!reader

comfort + kisses (lips) + kisses (non lips) + head pats

with heavy footsteps and an even heavier heart you make your way past the guards at the kamisato estate, trying so hard to hold back the tears threatening to spill past your eyes as you head towards thomas bedroom. the odds of him being there were slim, the sun had only now begun to set behind the ocean surrounding inazuma and he still had so much work to do. you don’t actually know if seeing him would help how you’re feeling, you didn’t want him to see you in this sorry state, even though you desperately want to be in his arms, but you do hope the lingering presence of him in his bedroom will be enough to lift the weight off your chest, even if it’s only a little.

the day seemed never ending, your body tired from not sleeping well, your work felt like it was so overbearing even though it wasn’t any more than you normally took on but today it felt like you couldn’t even do the simplest tasks and worst of all, your thoughts were the only thing to keep you company. you’re a failure, nothing will go right no matter what you do or how hard you work. crying about it isn’t going to make you feel any better because you yourself are the problem and right now you don’t even know where to begin to repair your broken spirit.

unlocking the door to his room with a key he gave you not long ago, you step inside the threshold of your safe place and take a few steps inside before your held back tears can’t be fought off anymore. your feet carry you to the edge of the bed and you blop down, holding your head in your hands as your sobs fill the space and warm tears drip down your cheeks and arms. why were you like this? why.. why couldn’t you function or think normally? why wouldn’t your mind stop reminding you how worthless you feel?

you're too lost in your own thoughts, in the thick black cloud that surrounds and suffocates you to hear the footsteps coming down the hallway or the click of the lock. your attention is only drawn away from your hopelessness when the voice of your beloved breaks through the fog.

“there you are!”

you wish you could run away, crawl in the covers and hide away from his emerald eyes. you didn’t want thoma to see you being so pathetic and knowing he’s seeing the worst of it only makes your onslaught of tears continue. you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“y/n.. what's wrong?” his tone, normally chipper and happy, is considerate and quiet as he makes his way towards you. he's heartbroken seeing you like this.

you can’t find the words when everything you try to say gets caught in your throat and drowned out by your sobbing. when words don’t leave you, thoma immediately fills with panic. what can he do for you? what do you need? oh archons, what if you just need to be alone?

he swallows the worry in his throat and continues, “it’s okay. you don’t need to tell me.” he lowers on one knee in front of you and wants so badly to pull your hands away from your face and wipe your tears but he doesn’t want to make it worse by forcing you to show him your crying face if you don’t want to. “would you like to be alone?” please don’t say you want to, i don’t want to leave you alone.

you hear him shuffle and worry that he really is leaving. you didn’t want him to see you like this but a part of you knew it would all be okay once you did, thoma has always mended your broken heart. why else would you come to his room of all places after a day like today?

“please don’t go,” you cry and uncover your face to reach out for him. you hadn’t expected him to be so close but you’re glad he is and when your puffy eyes meet the ones you love, swirling with love and concern right in front of you, you throw yourself in his arms.

“i won’t,” he accepts you without reservation, pulling you into his lap, one hand finding the back of your head to hold you closer into his crook of his neck and the other wraps protectively around your middle. he feels his heart break even more when you let out a partially hard sob and your body begins to shake in his arms. “it’s okay y/n.. i’m right here.”

hands clutching onto the fabric of his clothes you pull him even closer, like if you let go even a little he might disappear completely but you couldn’t bear it, all you wanted was him and his loving voice that disperses the thick black fog that once surrounded you.

“i've got you, i’m not going anywhere.”

“it’s okay, you're safe.”

“try to breathe.. good, just like that..”

once your shaking stops and your tears slow, you finally begin to tell him about your day and what brought you to tears. he listens intently to every word and worry, already trying to think of ways he can help you. with your terrible day laid out on the table and you finally feel like you’re not a total disaster, you pull away from him but his arms don’t let you go far. he’s not ready to let you go.

his lips are so warm against the top of your head and they only seem to grow in heat as they travel to your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks, your jaw. you melt under his warmth, under his touch; all of your worries becoming more and more forgotten with each kiss until your whole world becomes nothing but thoma and the love he holds for you. when he’s done with one side of your lovely features, he moves to the other side, continuing to pepper kisses to your reddened face until the last tear falls down your cheek and he wipes it away gently with his thumb.

loving eyes searching yours he asks, “feeling better?”

“always, when you're around,” you give a soft smile and he’s beyond happy to see it.

his soft chuckle vibrates against you as he keeps holding you close. “they don’t call me a fixer for nothing. i might not be able to fix the thoughts roaming around in your pretty head but i can try to replace them with better ones or help you try to figure them out.” the hand not around your middles, strong yet gentle, comes to rest atop your head, tenderly patting up and down. “you’re doing so much better than you think and when you feel like you’re not, i’m always going to be here to lean on. whatever you need, as long as it makes you happy, anything to make you smile.”

the words wrap around you, remind you that you’re going to be okay. Closing your eyes, your forehead finds solace on his and his hand moves to cradle the back of your head. “you would do that for me?”

“of course! i’d do anything for you-” you feel his breath closer against your skin and his lips brush against yours with every word. “- i love you so much.” and if his words weren’t enough to prove it, the tender love of his kiss shows you just how much you mean to him.

journeys end in lovers meeting — a phrase kuroo grew up with. these were the words spun by his mother before she left, and as a way of honoring her, he’d always chosen to believe it.

he always took it as it was; journeys ending in lovers meeting, the hardships, difficulties, and predicaments ending as soon as he meets the person he gets to call the one, and cheesy as it may sound, for the longest time, he was really looking forward to that.

kuroo couldn’t wait to meet the one person he’d fall in love with, he couldn’t wait til the troubles in his life to finally be over upon their arrival.

but then he met you, and you were vulgar, bossy, crass, and his hardships didn’t stop.

his journey didn’t end upon your entrance, if anything, it’s gotten worse now that he’s included you in the mix, and he figured, regrettably, that you just might not be the one he’s waiting for.

and what a damn shame that was, because even if he was certain that you weren’t the one for him, he really - desperately - wanted you to be.

“you didn’t have to come with me.” you tell kuroo, your mom just a few feet behind you as she held your flight tickets in her hands.

he grins at you, feeling a chill from the coldness in the air and he wishes, amongst many things, that he brought a thicker jacket today.

airports had no business being this cold.

he nudged your side, “ya really think i’d let you leave the country without saying goodbye?”

“you have a point.” you say, smiling, and it really did feel like it was just yesterday you met him for the first time.

kuroo feels as if this is all so bittersweet. cruel and painfully violent that it almost makes him want to throw up.

the world dangled you in front of him, teasing at his affections for you that he never got the chance to say, and as much as he knew how much he loved you, his mother’s words rang back to him saying that you just weren’t the one worth it.

your voice finds him again, “hug me goodbye?”

kuroo doesn’t hesitate, pushing aside the bittersweet feelings he chose to swallow down, and he pulls you into a loose hug.

his feelings for you - the ones he never got to admit - he repeats them over and over again in his head, hoping that somehow, you’d feel them through his embrace.

you have your arms wrapped around him, and you say, still in his touch, “okay, i have to go.”

you pull away, immediately missing his warmth, and you wish he didn’t come with you to the airport at all, because now, walking through the gates is so much harder.

you hold his gaze, hesitating to walk away.

kuroo looks at you, pushing down dread that threatened to come up his throat, and he asks you, “what?”

you smile, unsure of what to say, but you still can’t bring yourself to go.

“what do you need?” he laughs, joking, “an i love you or something?”

and you’d laugh too, sure, but you can’t. you hold his gaze, hesitating to say anything else, but you’re sure he can tell you want to.

“okay.” he stares at you, laughing, “i love you.”

the two of you stand in front of each other, completely new to one another’s perspectives, and kuroo thinks back to what his mother used to say to him.

“goodbye.”

kuroo offers you a smile, even if that’s the last thing he wants to do, he figures he can’t let your final goodbye be wasted on tears.

it hits him like a truck, seeing you walk away from him like that, and he realizes that all this time he misinterpreted what his mother’s words meant.

he wasn’t supposed to meet you, he was supposed to introduce his love to you and hope that you’d do the same, and by how difficult it was for you to leave him behind, he realizes that a part of you may have loved him too.

he realizes his love for you, and he realizes them a second too late.

journeys end in lovers meeting.