I Don't Know What This Is - Blog Posts

What the fuck is boboiboy and why is it all over my feed

Bird...?

I do not know why I did this. I do not even know exactly what it is * plop! * I just hope you like it or that you find it interesting .. or that at least that this has caught your attention.

chrissy on vigil by max’s bedside. 

switching between rubbing the blood back into max’s fingers, putting lotion on max’s hands, brushing max’s hair, and taking stock of her own still bruised limbs.

sitting by lucas while he’s reading to max and taking over when lucas has to leave or gets tired. 

asking lucas (and whoever else is willing) to tell stories about max so no one even gets close to forgetting what max was like alive and well. 

chrissy telling dustin she’s noticed his hat collection for a while and likes all of them. being fascinated by dustin’s fascination with radios. 

chrissy asking erica with genuine interest how she got into d&d, immediately getting more curious when she learns about figure painting and dice towers and homemade maps and dioramas. erica is no cliché and she has too many facets to ever be boring.

chrissy finding out nancy knows a thing or two about guns and with great trepidation asking if nancy will show her what she knows. saying she needs to read the school paper more. promising nancy she’s got the clear head and the clear eyes to see what’s happening in the world and call it out truthfully. admiring nancy’s dedication to not being just some girl. 

going to family video and getting into an almost heated discussion with robin over the ranking of brat pack movies before deciding st. elmo’s fire is superior. or maybe it’s the outsiders. is it the outsiders? probably. steve is making cartoon blinking noises.

chrissy being endlessly amused and in awe of robin, her solid sense of self. soon showing up to band concerts with a single pompom to wave in silence as a show of support.

something about will drawing chrissy in, even if he’s near silent, until she pulls him aside and asks what he’s feeling, if it’s anything like what she felt. getting to sit down together and explain all the leftover fear and dread to someone who might actually understand how heavy and how inevitable it feels. 

chrissy teaching max leg strengthening exercises.

driving to max’s house and either existing in post-vecna silence from the pain of living through it or doggedly pushing through and either cussing at their bodies’ weaknesses together or chrissy taking max’s hand and urging them both across the yard to the clothesline and back, then to the dog and back. and then to eddie’s house and back. 

chrissy asking eddie if there’s anything that can be done about his uncle’s trailer.

bringing wayne a new mug and flowers, desperately sorry he had to see her twisted the way she had been on his floor. 

every time she goes to see eddie bringing a hat or a mug for his uncle.

chrissy trying to ask what everyone’s favorite song is, but when it gets too hard to say and stings to remember, she asks about favorite albums. 

going to record stores and digging through bargain bins and whatever she can find that makes her think of the hawkins heroes. 

chrissy going to the picnic table clearing with a trash bag and determinedly cleaning up the tiny little space as if it will somehow cleanse it. 

chrissy being benched from cheer but still showing up to every game, now able to cheer for her squad even more than simply the players on the court. the girls become much less than just simple squad-mates and much more like friends.

chrissy telling mike and will she’s admired how close their friendship has been over the years. 

chrissy asking all four of the freshman boys how long they’ve liked d&d and what got them started. 

just once getting to have a conversation with argyle and hanging on every word that comes out of his mouth with a huge smile on her face, completely entranced and entertained. 

chrissy visiting fred and patrick’s graves to clean and decorate them. she didn’t know fred but from a distance and knew patrick on a friendly surface level, but she knows the horrors they experienced before they died. that’s enough. 

chrissy going to the hideout on tuesdays, not just to see eddie play, but to see corroded coffin. to hear the band members eddie is so proud of playing their hearts out. to actually learn their names and talk to them all and get to know them. she doesn’t scream or whoop or holler during their set but remembers particularly sharp riffs and rhythms to compliment later. asking about song names and lyrics and inspirations.

chrissy telling all of her female friends daily that they’re beautiful, slowly, eventually abandoning references to appearance altogether and telling them they’re amazing and smart or clever instead. what she might have liked to hear, unladen with subtext. 

the party having lunch picnics on the school lawn. 

creating summer game plans together and apart.

library dates.

desperately trying to reclaim any sense of normalcy within hawkins. 

What the fuck project makeover I thought this was kids game

Alt universe for my ocs??

I can’t stop drawing these three….

Gunshot

She kept staring at the other presence in the room. She received the same attention back. Tension was high between them, irritated by the uncalled company.

“I asked you to leave,” she said. There was no reply, just two set of eyes looking intently at each other. Eventually losing her calm, she said.

“I’m tired of you being with me all the time. My friends are worried but you never let me visit them. I don’t even feel like myself with you,” she screamed, chest heaving in anger and desperation. But this was needed; she needed to know the damage of being with her.

“Please, please I beg you. Please leave me alone,” she cried when her words were met with silence, yet again. But it smirked at her, those vicious human  teeth between the red lips.

Collecting herself together, she walked towards her table and pulled out the pistol she kept for emergency situations.

"I begged you. I still am. You leave me no options," she said as she loaded the pistol and pointed at it. Only to find a similar one towards her. But she didn't falter. Her fingers were ready to pull the trigger any moment, looking for fear in the eyes of her enemy.

She found none.

But she had to do it. In order for her own sanity. She braced herself one more time.

And she shot herself.

Buffy to TJ, putting him aside from mixed basketball practice : What is going on man?? You are extremely distracted today, and Cyrus is not even here...

TJ with sad demeanor: I know, I´m sorry. It´s just... I like him so much... Do you think he likes me??

Buffy: Seriously dude?? You´ve literally been dating for the past three months

TJ: I know, but it´s just too good to be true...  what if he is doing it to spare my feelings?, I mean, that would be so on brand for him, thinking about others first...  It comes to him as natural as losing one of his shoes whenever we are outdoors - he says with a light chuckle and heart eyes.

Buffy, exasperated, : I can´t with you guys!! Both of you are ridiculous. One of these days my eyes are gonna get stuck from all the rolling they do because of you two!!... Just so you know, and hopefully this will convince you: Yesterday we were talking about math and out of nowhere he pulls out his notebook and starts reading us his vows... his vows for his wedding!!  WITH YOU!!

TJ, pulling out a crumpled paper from his pocket : Really?? Can I read you mine?!

Buffy: ...

TJ: My Dear Cy, muffin of my eye...

Buffy, defeated: It´s happening, they are stuck. I´m gonna be blind for the rest of my life...

Ever feel like some days, you don’t want to exist? Like all I want to do is float in the eternal void, but no, I have to be alive.