Walburga: you do not deserve my son.
James: you don’t deserve your son.
Walburga: excuse me.
James: you heard me.
Sirius: where are you going Prongs?
James: to the aquarium.
Sirius: ..why?
James: because I’m an adult! And I can do what I want??
Lily: he saw a photo of a teddy seal and now he needs one.
James: we literally just met.. I hardly know you-
Sirius: I would kill for you.
James: ..
This happened
headcannon:
remus and regulus would recreate scenes from the song of achilles in front of james and sirius to make them jealous. it would go a little like this:
remus: name one hero who was happy
remus: you can’t.
regulus: i can’t.
remus: i know. they never let you be famous and happy.
remus: i’ll tell you a secret
regulus: tell me
remus: i’m going to be the first.
remus: swear it.
regulus: why me?
remus: because you’re the reason. swear it.
regulus: i swear it.
*then remus would give regulus a gentle kiss on his forehead*
sirius, furious: james. get your prick of a boyfriend away from mine!
james, jealous: why don’t you get your moony away from my reggie.
remus®ulus: why don’t we just run off together and get married.
james&sirius: NO!
We talk about the brother relationship between James and Sirius and them calling each other brother and seeing the other as their brother (for Sirius his other brother)
But you know what we don’t talk about enough
PANDORA AND REGULUS ARE ALSO SIBLINGS
james: sirius is about to come home from his third date any minute now.
regulus: third date? with the same guy? did he talk during the first two?
james: yeah no, i’m as shocked as you are.
james: *holding up his smudged glasses* reg, darling, can you get me something to clean my glasses with?
regulus: sure. *stands up and walks over to sirius, rips his shirt off his back, and gives the torn piece to james*
james: *cleaning his glasses* thank you, my love.
more jegulus and their struggle with french <3
regulus: are you done practicing?
james: yes! i’ve memorized what to say to sirius this time.
regulus: right, go on then.
james: tu es…a dúmmy…?
regulus: *facepalming* bête.
*at james and regulus’ wedding*
everyone: aw, look at sirius, he’s gone to the back, he’s probably crying.
sirius: *dancing his little heart out because he no longer has to deal with james’ snoring or regulus’ 3 am epiphanies.*
the marauders as the types of people you’d see on eid day! (eid at the prongs household)
wakes everyone up at 6am bc family is coming over: james.
is having the time of their life cooking in the kitchen or making all kinds of desserts: peter
spends HOURS getting ready, so they have to be woken up extra early: sirius and marlene.
gets dragged by their feet to go to eid prayers: sirius
“give me the fucking money” : remus and regulus.
hands out money in cute little envelopes: mary and lily.
uses a money shooter and enjoys watching the battle royale as everyone dives to the ground to collect as much money as possible: sirius and regulus // euphemia and fleamont.
steals all the money from the kids: dorcas.
the owner of this account, along with the marauders, would like to wish all their muslim supporters a very happy eid 🤍🤍
sirius tricked james into telling him about his relationship with regulus, regulus isn’t happy.
regulus: first things first, james here is a fucking idiot, and if he tells you anything fucking different he’s a liar and a fucking snake.
regulus: *smacks james on the forehead*
regulus: fuck you.
barty: your ex is waiting by the common room entrance, they’re begging to talk to you.
regulus: *applying nail polish*
regulus: too bad, i only do second coats not second chances.
regulus: james, if you didn’t sleep last night then i’m very sorry, i was thinking about you.
james, distracted by a triangle shaped grape: …the illuminati have taken over the grape industry.
james: *is laying on the floor with a clear quartz stone on his head*
james: i do not chase, i attract, what belongs to me will simply find me.
sirius: *peeks his head into the dorm room*
sirius: james, come say hi to regulus in the common room.
james: HI — IM JAMES BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT — IM THE BEST CHASER HOGWARTS HAD EVER SEEN — I LIVE TO CHASE.
james: if you all were to write a book, what would the title be?
james: ‘reasons i’m the greatest best friend in history.’
sirius: ‘the daily struggle of being sexy.’
remus: ‘the daily struggle of living with ‘sexy’.’
regulus: ‘why adult floaties are much more of a necessity than children’s ones.’
marlene: ‘how to keep ‘em wrapped around your finger, the marlene method.’
lily: ‘how to snag the richest guy in school, co-written by: remus lupin.’
mary: ‘a guide on how to outlive all your friends.’
dorcas: ‘bagging the hottest girl alive: a fool proof 6 month plan.’
peter: ‘why i demand monetary compensation for all the nights i’ve spent in detention because of ‘sexy’.’
james: what’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do?
remus: turn a bunch of kids into werewolves, just to start an army.
lily: being prejudiced against half-bloods and muggle borns whilst being a half-blood themselves.
sirius: try to conceive for years, then become abusive to the very kids they were dying to have.
james: o-oh, i was just gonna say nick my sweaters right after they said that their fashion sense is nothing like mine…
regulus: i never said, nor did such a thing.
james walks in on wolfstar.
james: bro, are you fucking serious?
sirius: i can confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.
remus: *peeks his head out from under the covers*
remus: and i can also confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.
headcanon 1 about the potter brothers:
sirius finding out he was fruity, and immediately panicking, thinking of the worst case scenario of how james would react and how he might lose his brother.
————————————————
james finding out he was fruity, and immediately pulling out a checklist labeled “things sirius and i have in common.” and checking the “sexuality” box. then rushing over to tell sirius because he’s so excited to have something new to bond with his brother over.
snape is serenading lily, and it’s quite distasteful.
snape: so come run your hands through my hair, ‘cause that’s why it’s there.
sirius (to remus and james): “come run your hands through my hair”? i can make some bloody fried chicken using all that grease in it.
james: wow, you look like shit.
sirius: i stayed up till 5 am with marlene. do i regret it? yes.
sirius: but was it worth it ‘cause i got to help out a friend who needed comfort? absolutely not.
james found out about peter being the traitor, and he’s discussing it with the rest of the marauders.
james: i cant fucking believe it, petey? betraying us? after everything we’ve been through together? after all this time?
sirius: *standing up and reciting poetically* do not mourn the treachery of time, brother, for dogs have always danced on the corpses of lions. however, do not believe that their dance makes them above their masters, lions will always be lions and dogs will always be dogs.
remus: sirius, you’re a- you’re a dog.
headcanon:
sirius black LOVES $uicideboy$ and listens to them religiously.
sirius also keeps a shrine for ruby and $crim right next to the shrine he made for himself.
people who were killed after dying:
1- dumblewhore: by all the marauders collectively, but lead by james.
2- peter pettigrowsomeballsplease: by sirius black and strangely regulus black too.
3- snivellus snape: by lily evans because “how dare you sacrifice my husband and son but ask for me to be spared?”
4- remus lupin and mary macdonald: they were suffocated by a hug from all the marauders.
sirius: i feel like i absorb the positive energy from the people around me.
remus: so you’re kind of like a dementor?
sirius: no, i don’t suck the joy out of people.
remus: debatable.
sirius: WHATDOYOUMEAN?!
modern au: the marauders all live and study together at a muggle university, but they’re going through ‘two weeks’ of online classes.
marlene: *bursts into the living room, laptop in hand where james, sirius and dorcas are sitting*
marlene: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE THE MEETING?
sirius: THE TA TRIED TO PUT ME IN A BREAK OUT ROOM WITH STRANGERS AND IM NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT.
marlene: COME BACK TO CLASS, YOU PUSSY.
sirius: IF YOU’RE GONNA CALL ME A PUSSY, YOU BETTER PUT ‘EATER’ AFTER IT. MY WAY- MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!
remus: *unmuting himself and speaking*
remus: sirius, you’re gay and marlene, learn how to mute yourself.
headcanon:
sirius black’s nervous tick is chewing on the tip of his middle finger, but his rbf makes him look like he’s purposely flipping everyone off.
-1975-
james: snape will never have a love life.
remus: someone’s bound to find him…tolerable.
james: how about we place a bet?
remus: 5 galleons.
-1993-
remus: *takes one look at snape, and immediately runs out, looking up at the sky*
remus: COME BACK YOU ARSE, I OWE YOU 5 GALLEONS!
sirius: *places a newly rolled blunt on the street*
sirius: it’s a highway…get it? highway? cause blunt and road…y’know?
james: *throws his shoe at sirius*
lily: *hexes him bald*
remus: *takes off his wedding ring and places it in sirius’ hand*
regulus: *updates his insta bio to ‘only child’*
plot: severus is confronting sirius after getting drenched with charmed water balloons.
severus: there’s a special place in hell just for you.
sirius: *placing his hand on his chest dramatically and wiping away a fake tear* f-for me? a special place in hell JUST for ME? that’s so sweet, so kind, and so welcoming.