Jotaro Kujo X Reader - Blog Posts

if you do headcannons or something can you write stardust crusaders (separately) with a reader who is like always cold even though on the journey or whatever they do go to egypt smh.. but still !!! unless it hot out reader is probably shivering xD thank you :3

Why of course!! It gave me a lot of ideas from the start, also was very fun to write :D I added some scenarios for each one of the Crusaders, I hope it's ok! And sorry it took so long, I wanted to extend it as much as I could and had a rough time in school. Hope you like it :D

Stardust Crusaders x gn reader who's always cold (headcanons)

Jean-Pierre Polnareff

you know he's going to tease you about it if he saw you rubbing your hands together in the first place

if you were to tease him back with touching his skin with those cold hands of yours, he would complain about it a lot and jump up because of it

but he would adore it and actually at some point would be thankful, because his skin makes it hard to be out in the sun for so long, that's why feeling something cold against it is like a relief to him

but that's not it!! let's be honest, he's a romantic guy, energetic, open, extroverted, what do you think he would do if he saw how cold you were? especially at night in the desert which can be a bit cold sometime

of course he would catch your hand in his and perhaps kiss it gently to help you get some warm, he knows his ways in flirting so that's no problem for him, he does actually enjoy it and would express it publicly with absolutely no hesistation, he would see this as the best opportunity to hit on you after all

Polpol's the type of guy to bring you closer to himself if he could and embrace you with those strong arms of his, would it be romantically or platonic, doesn't matter, he likes to express his feelings with physical touch

if he wants to help you, he will, especially when you're cold, he finds your shivering a bit odd but does believe it to be a special trait of yours you know?

as I was saying above, he loves to tease you about it, he'd say some things similar to "how can you be so cold and yet so hot?" OF COURSE NOT EXACTLY LIKE THAT JEHAKJD but he would use some silly punchlines to get you flustered if possible, he's determined enough to try it. so be aware.

he would totally compare you to him, how you're always cold and he's always warm, he would complain about being too sensitive to the sun

I think he would totally not only kiss your hands but also rub your arms, or legs if he got your consent, as far as you're comfortable with it, he's okay with anything, and oh boy is he creative

do you remember the scarf he had in The Sun chapters? I'm 100% sure he'd let you borrow it any time you need it, of course needing it back after some time because his skin would hurt if exposed to sun for too long, but he would give it to you anyway

have I mentioned that he likes your hugs in the desert? it's so refreshing and not only a relief to his own body (since it is probably cold compared to his body temperature), but also to his mind, I believe he missed hugging someone, like actually hugging, no side hugs, no other things like that - an actual hug, bonus if it's from you

Jean-Pierre couldn't sleep that night, something about the area in the desert seemed a bit too calm to his liking. Even if he is a lively person to have a conversation with, having this much space and peace at the same time was a bit weird. He himself doesn't know why, but therefore he decided to keep an eye out in case someone tried to attack you in your sleep (like death 13 but he doesn't remember anything at all).

What he didn't know was the fact that you were also awake, but thoughtful in the head. You were deeply focused on something else, anything that would keep your head from reminding you of how cold you were at this moment. The Crusaders hadn't light up the fire again to keep themselves warm since waking up in the double heat would be a nuisance. But mainly they had in mind that making themselves known to any other enemies would also be a terrible idea if they wanted to sleep peacefully for once while on this trip.

Being lost in thought, you hadn't noticed how the Frenchman noticed you being awake, but what caught his attention was the fact that you were trembling from cold. When he sat up in his sleeping bag he started to somehow shake his hands in your direction to catch your attention - being careful as to not wake up Jotaro that slept next to him. Waving his hands didn't work so he did a "pssst" in your direction still keeping his hands in the air.

When you finally noticed him being awake, you were surprised but also happy that you could get your head out of that unbearable cold. Conversations with Jean-Pierre were always lively and full of nothing and yet everything. So you waved back and smiled a bit. What you didn't expect him to do was try to stand up quietly while looking at Kujo that was sleeping to his right, as if afraid of making the gruff man wake up - but you knew he just cared about him getting some rest. That's how he was. You missed to notice how in some seconds he was standing next to you and sat immediately on the sand next to your sleeping bag.

"Didn't know you'd ever wake up, you snored really loudly" you admitted. Of course it was only to tease him, you meant no harm after all. You were a bit tired which lead you to be a but more open however bizarre that may sound.

"What? excusez-moi? Me - snoring? You must have confused me with Mr. Joestar. There is no waaay in hell that I would ever snore!" he whisper yelled at you for accusing him of doing so. He was really open towards you, which also made your relationship a bit more interesting. His personality also made you to open up a bit and both of you knew and cherished that thought.

After a couple of minutes of constant talking, teasing and joking around, there fell a comforting silence. You both knew how your destinies lined up and made you two risk your life on this trip. It was worth it for Holly's sake but thinking about it back - having thoughts about what could happen next were making your whole body to feel the cold again. He did notice it in fact, took your hands in his and gently brought them to his lips. This gesture indeed made your heart skip a beat or two, same goes to him. He started blowing some warm air at your now cold hands.

You two sat like this for a couple of minutes, him caressing your cold hands and trying to keep you warm. And you appreciating how he seemed rather calm while doing so, somehow those minutes you two shared were very intimate. There was something about the way he held you close that made you feel peace in your soul. His actions caused you to become sleepier than before, unsurprisingly his gesture didn't warm your body fully, but it did warm your heart. You put your hands around his frame and listened to his - rather fast - heartbeat, similar to yours.

Somehow that night wasn't as bothersome as before, you were still cold, yes, but being so close to someone like the Frenchman himself made you realise that you did need it. Some comfort from one another. Later on you closed your eyes, the only thoughts that were occupying your head were about Polpol and the way he made your heart feel much warmer than it ever has.

Jotaro Kujo

he may not show it, but he's the first one to notice you trembling from the cold

it would be confusing for him because we all know how them Joestar genes work (all warm-blooded..), but apart from that, I'm sure he just doesn't understand how you can be cold in Egypt while the temperature can reach even 50°C

he doesn't judge you for it, in fact he doesn't think much about it - having other thoughts lingering in his brain. he must stay focused in case someone would ambush you randomly

but when he had an opportunity to relax and let his guard down for a second he would look at you intensely, wondering why are you always so cold

he couldn't help the compassion he held towards you, what if you were to faint? they wouldn't have you in their group now that you don't have enough energy to fight

he was overthinking it, yes, how could he not? he cared for every one in the group, he never did show it and God forbid it if he tried but he felt a connection with everyone. Jotaro thought that he will risk his life for them, the same way they are risking it for him and his mother

seeing you being so cold made him realise how vulnerable that made you look, that even reminded him of times before he was around the age of 12 and his mum always prepared some warm tasty dishes, she knows what are his favourite things to eat, that's one of many reasons why he loved her dearly and wished to protect her life at all cost

he would ask you if you're cold, would try to keep you closer just in case to even make you feel like you're suffocating in his presence, but he means no harm - all he wants is to make sure you're not a target and that you're quite warmer by his body heat even if you two don't touch directly (he likes his personal space and respects yours quite a lot!)

if you'd be shivering in a car and you'd be seated next to him, expect to be squished between him and someone else or the window

if he felt calm and open, he could lean on your shoulder a bit (shoulder-shoulder contact) to perhaps make you feel better, but he had to feel pretty bold to do so, after all he is a shy teenager inside so being this open with someone could be new to him

he can't do much to help you feel warmer though, most of the time he'll try to ignore it or try and help you just a tiny bit, he wouldn't be this bold like Polnareff to hold your hands and kiss them - he's not that type of a guy

but it doesn't mean he doesn't care, if the Crusaders are having breakfast he would make you a cup of tea, or coffee, whatever he finds useful (and ofc after he notices that you like a certain drink) and would put it by your plate - not admitting that he made it himself

he knows others would do it for themselves if needed but if you just never did it or weren't fond of it anyway - be prepared for random cups appearing by your seat from time to time (mostly if he's also making himself a cup of hot drink, or when making one more cup for you becomes a routine for him, he would do it more occasionally)

Jotaro who sat next to you in a car noticed how you were literally hugging yourself or hushing some warm breaths at your hands. He was very perceptive, everyone knew that especially after getting to know him a bit better. Nothing could ever cross his eyes without having itself known in that brain of his that everything was important, even the smallest possible details.

The young man himself didn't think much about it, nor did he give a damn - at least that's what he wanted to believe to keep up his tough guy act. After you whispered under your nose that you're feeling much colder than ever (probably because of car ventilation to keep everyone else's body temperature at average level), he couldn't help it and simply moved closer to touch your shoulder with his.

This gesture made you look up at him in confusion, but all he did was stare at the rode ahead. Not only was it because he was showing you that in fact he did care, but also wanting to avoid your curious gaze. But somehow being so close to you brought some comfort even to him, even if it was that small of a touch, simply touching shoulders. No matter how small the gesture may be - he found it comforting. Same goes to you.

You didn't fail to notice how he was looking at you trying to keep yourself warm, he didn't hide his sight while doing so, that's why you have noticed it easily. You put your head on his arm and brought yourself even closer to him, you were literally sitting under his elbow but he didn't mind it, although it wasn't as comfy as one could think. That lead Jotaro to straighten his arm and put it by your side, literally caging you with his left arm, since you were sitting exactly by his left. He didn't say anything even if it was quite embarrassing. All he did after that was fix his hat with his right hand and mumble a simple "yare yare" after you sat even closer to him - which also made the corners of his lips lift up a bit that went unnoticed by you.

But not by anyone else riding the same car as you two.

Mohammed Avdol

please, he would totally be the most helpful guy to help you with coldness of all the Crusaders, not only is he wearing a long coat that keeps his body temperature at a decent level (which makes him seem more warm than he normally appears to be from his character), but also his stand - as we all know - literally controls fire!

he'd gladly be your heater if you asked him about it, but if you haven't, he would tell you openly that he saw you shivering with cold, that might be the reason why he used his stand to warm your back, he would apologise for doing so before asking if you're comfortable with it, but either way who wouldn't appreciate such gesture?

if you were in a group, he could lend you his golden accessories that got heated up in the hot weather (or the power of his stand), for example his huge bracelets! they are probably heavy but they'd also bring you relief in feeling a bit better, especially since they would touch your skin directly

talking about accessories or clothing, if you were to be with him alone and he'd notice how cold you are, I'm sure he would put his coat around your shoulders, making you drown in it (not literally but you get the idea)

oh yeah coming back to Magician's Red, I believe Momo would use him to make small flames around your figure, going round and round until you're heated up completely so you can finally feel at ease, it's also fun to watch how tiny flames circle you - but what about the experience? if I were in your shoes I would probably melt under his stand's power

he wouldn't use this technique all the time tough, it is energy consuming and he has to keep as much as he can to be able to protect himself or others in a situation when you meet yet another stand user who works for Dio.. especially if we're talking about that time after he returned to the crusaders while having his back stabbed and head wounded, it would be a bit better to save that energy for later..

Avdol has a great memory, so if you were to tell him about constantly feeling cold, you better expect from him to always be near you and looking in your direction to make sure that you're doing okay, other crusaders would also have his eyes on themselves - for everyone's sake and the feeling of being united in a group, as if there was something keeping you connected and I'm not only speaking about stands, just the feeling of home that the Crusaders bring itself is a great reason as to why he'd love to protect this feeling

your hands would never be cold again in his grip, he would hold your hands together, would it be a platonic or romantic gesture - it doesn't matter - he would talk with the others and keep making you feel warm at the same time even without the power of his stand (his warm hands, gestures and his whole personality makes you warmer on the inside, he just gives off that comforting vibes, similar to sitting by the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate in hand while it's snowing outside..)

Mohammed was simply looking at the crusaders having a rather lively conversation full of funny jokes and laughs. He did add something himself from time to time, a fun comment or a tease that focused on Polnareff and his charisma (of course just to make him a bit annoyed in a friendly way, not to make him get angry and leave like it happened before in a restaurant).

His smile was visible on his lips when he looked back at you. Seeing you visibly tremble from cold made his smile be quite gentler than before. He sat closer to you and put his hand around your back, as if he was lying down and leaning on his arm to keep balance. In fact by doing so he was able to use his stand more secretly, Magician's Red invisible hands were put on your back which in return made you smile and look his way, thanking him quietly before also listening to the crusaders and adding your own opinions in the conversation.

Thankfully no one seemed to notice that gesture, at least not the Frenchman who if were to notice it - would complain about you getting some special treatment, he would be rambling about it being unfair. He is cold himself but Avdol knows he'll be doing alright when he's asleep, he wouldn't even think about being cold again because of the hearth that's lit for the afternoon, when it's truly getting colder in the desert.

The Crusaders can't lit the fire because they have to stay hidden, that's what makes these nights terrible to survive in. It's bearable till some time, but what if it's yet another day? Bigger men would be doing alright but what about you? You're not as buff as everyone else (at least they could think that way because of your character). Aaaaand he had in mind that making Polnareff annoyed was pretty fun to watch, especially since he was causing it. All of them would laugh together at the end, never mind the circumstances.

The night went on and on, all of you talking about what tomorrow would bring and making plans to help you be prepared for yet another day at this life and death journey. After an hour or two you guys decided to finally rest, that was when everyone put their sleeping bags near you and Avdol to be much warmer at night. Since he already was by your side, they decided that it's a great idea to squeeze in. He decided to use his stand at his lowest to at least keep them warmer at night.

It was a tight and uncomfortable night, but everyone could sleep, or at least rest for some time in a somehow warm place. You got the most of the heat Momo created and slept peacefully, having been finally put at ease, you let yourself drift off and fall asleep in an embrace of warmness and safety provided by him and the Crusaders together.

Kakyoin Noriaki

I believe his politeness would make him ask you if you're feeling cold, even if it's really obvious, he'd rather know than suspect things and get the wrong idea

he could tease you about it, the teenager he is, but it depends on your relationship with him, ofc he wouldn't do it like Polnareff! (I think he'd just say stuff that isn't mean much, it'd be just a free comment being thrown here and there)

if you're rather close, he would tease you about it, however he wouldn't do much more because what else is there that he could possibly do for you? he cares but all he can do is offer you a hug which may sound disappointing but trust me, it's not

he'd make you forget about being cold by talking with you about various topics that both of you enjoy talking about! or he would make you talk a lot about things you love the most to helo you become excited while talking about it, it'll for sure make you warmer or at least will help you forget about it

if you're feeling cold when it's about 25°C outside, he would give you his school's uniform, he doesn't need to have his body hidden so it's no problem, especially since his white shirt keeps the sunlight away from him, it's also much easier to function like this somehow

aaand it's beneficial for both of you, he doesn't have to carry it so his hands are ready to take part in sudden action if needed and you can feel somehow warmer thanks to the jacket he lent you, he does like the color green on you btw! he's an artist so seeing something that fits together (even in the most bizarre way) is pleasing to his eyes

oh! he would totally talk to you about it to make you forget the cold, colour theory? is his favourite. anatomy? he's still learning. nature landscapes? you know he has a lot of sketches somewhere nearby, never mind if you know a certain topic or not, he will explain it to you the best way he can

but apart from talking or lending you his jacket, I think he would run his hands on your shoulders to make you a bit warmer, he wouldn't do it openly for everyone else to see because he's too shy to do anything else, he's an introvert after all so taking the lead isn't really his thing, he tries but in his own ways!

although he would joke around a bit, he isn't as stoic as Jotaro, he's much more relaxed and easy going by those who are dear to him, and it so happened to be the Crusaders.. I'm sure he'd love to keep everyone together after the whole trip is over, that's why he is caring

I imagine him telling Mr. Joestar about you being cold or even Avdol, he'd ask if there's anything they can do because that cold could make you lose your focus on the mission at hand and he'd like it if you were focused on a specific subject - especially since it can lead to really enormous consequences

but it's not just the mission itself, saving Ms. Holly is important, yes, of course it is, however he can't help the urge to make you warmer especially since it's not the biggest of deals you know? I mean, it's bearable but it does make you lose your focus so even if there's not much he can do, he would like to help and does so to the maximum of his capabilities

Noriaki sat next to you while you were waiting for Polnareff to finally come down so all of you could finally eat well deserved breakfast. You were sitting on a small part of the wall, more like the broken part of it and waited patiently for your team mates who were probably dragging the Frenchman out of bed by force. That's what you both thought at least.

"I wonder how is he even functioning as a human being" - Kakyoin said out loud what was on his mind and that caused you to smirk a bit.

"What do you mean? Don't tell me you had never slept until noon" you told him after sighing a bit and later on puffing some warm air from your mouth at your now cold hands. It was quite chilly for you, and since you've woken up not so long ago - it was really noticable.

"I have school dear Y/N, I'm much more responsible than him, that's for sure" of course whatever he said about the Frenchman wasn't meant to be hurtful nor insulting. But he did think his face looked somewhat punchable, if he were to cross a certain line - the redhead teenager wouldn't even try to stop himself (of course as long as it wasn't that bad, like that time when he elbowed Polnareff in the face, it was for his own good so Noriaki probably found nothing wrong in giving him a small lesson, which in the end turned out to be quite successful). "aand we are slowly running out of time so he better get his ass down here so we can get a move on.." he then added a bit quieter.

You chuckled at his remark, especially since it's been about a month since he was last seen in school. However, that made you realise how good of a student he must have been. He did have a passion for video games which was quite confusing each time he said something about his grades being a little above average. But it was to be respected, after all he's just a human - he is allowed to have hobbies other than art.

You sighed once again after hearing his last statement, you hated the fact that he was right at this point. After all being on a run literally every day for 34 days is a huge thing to accomplish, full of stress, anxiousness, dangers waiting around every corner and that damn cold that never left your side even while on a trip to Egypt.

He did notice the way you basically hugged yourself, trying to keep your hands and body warm for the day. "Are you perhaps cold? You're shaking" was the question he asked followed by a statement after a full minute of silence. You nodded your head slightly - there was no point in lying to him since it was already very visible from your posture.

He handed you his jacket and started randomly speaking about the game that was supposed to come out the next year, as far as he knows. You didn't even get the chance to thank him. Therefore somehow he made you talk your heart out about your other hobbies, which somehow lead to you talking about your favourite genre of music. While waiting for the Crusaders all you two did was talk about many topics at once, but it was surprisingly nice, even if it was quite chaotic. You've learned that his favourite singer is Sting, it may be a bit further away from your favourites but still it was pleasant to talk about it.

After a couple of minutes talking with Noriaki, Mr. Joestar, Avdol, Jotaro and Polnareff came out of the building looking at you two wondering if you're ok since they've left you for quite some minutes (after making sure you're ok they started talking about what to order and where to even start!). Better safe than sorry as they say.

You totally forgot how cold you were before, but now that you reminded yourself of it, somehow your smile threw that thought away. You were happy to be with them, it's an honour to fight by their side after all. Smiling to yourself you hugged the jacket to yourself and followed the group of men wondering what you should order to eat for breakfast.

Joseph Joestar

I believe him to be a really open and somehow simple-minded man, totally would give you a side hug and rub your arms aggressively (regardless of his strength) which could be a bit unpleasant, but is also really sweet

but I think he wouldn't even notice that you're cold if you didn't tell him yourself in the first place

will tease you about it, y'all know it

Joseph is the type of a guy to joke around like a lot even for his age, his personality would brings a lot of comfort which is equal to the warmth he gives with his character - will make you warm from embarrassment if we're being honest, ofc if he's capable of doing so

if not, he would find another way to warm your shivering body - he's creative and smart so it's natural for him to come up with bizarre ideas that a normal human being wouldn't even think of doing

also he had that one long coat with him on this trip, since it was rarely used because he didn't get cold quickly, he would give it to you, wouldn't even take it back once given to you

however he would take it from you once the trip is over and everything is at least a bit better, or he'd remind you about it after some time

I'm not sure what else he could do honestly, if he were to be thoughtful enough and feel sorry for you being so cold, hamon is a thing

that old guy could use it to warm you up a bit, your whole system would feel finally warmer - although it has to be a weird.. feeling, you know.. such energy to rush through your body in that short time? It could be shocking but God would it be helpful

he wouldn't use it much because of no training, he's out of practice and is a bit rusty, but once he did it would be trully relieving

he compared to Jotaro is much more touchy, he wouldn't hesitate to give you a big 'ol hug and try to put a smile on your face

Joseph Joestar, known as the loudest family member of the Joestar family, but with a heart that could melt every mountain if he were to be interested in doing so. Of course every Joestar has their own abilities and different ways of thinking. Caring, strong, protective, and so on. They held a special place for those who were worthy of their trust.

You could say that exqctly this thought lead to you being squished in a tight embrace that the man himself gave you. Kakyoin told him you were shivering a bit too much to his liking, so both of them were worried about you, especially since you were on the desert. It was starting to get warmer and the temperature seemed to rise with every passing second, that's why it seemed so bizarre to them.

Joseph offered to give you a ride on a camel since they didn't have any more than 4 at that time. The Crusaders were discussing about keeping watch for any enemies that could cause you trouble. You relaxed in his touch because the tiredness after using your stand's abilities too much made you really vulnerable for any attacks, Joseph wanted to keep an eye on you himself, that's why you ended up like this.

You did feel like your muscles were relaxing and finally getting rid of the tension caused mostly by stress and the cold you felt. The old man used his body heat to keep you warm, it did help a bit but still wasn't enough. You just wished to lie in bed being wrapped in a blanket and drinking some warm drinks while it's even colder outside. You would have though that you'll be wrapped in his arms while being in a desert. It's not what you did expect, but it still felt a bit nicer than being alone.

The older Joestar laughed at your reaction and patted your head while telling Jotaro to look around with Star Platinum. You simply shrugged at his reaction but smiled nonetheless because of the vibrations you heard in his chest when he chuckled. The temperature on the desert was increasing non-stop, which was becoming unbearable even to your cold self.

What the Crusaders didn't know was that it's going to keep on going up trying to burn them alive.

(+bonus)

Iggy

no one expected this dog for sure hehe

I imagined that when you sat next to him and told him that you're cold, he would totally ignore you and pay you no mind

but! he will notice you once you put your hands on his back or any other body part

he would instantly feel the coldness of your hands and jump away from you while growling, that gesture didn't please him at all

after that he'd ignore you for the rest of the trip and will hold a grudge against you till the very end (unless it's needed, like with Polnareff vs Vanilla Ice chapters, he'd help you of course, ready to risk his life for you)

Iggy just doesn't like cold hands :(

Alr you guys, I'm opening request box! feel free to ask for anything that's mostly Jojo related :D

I will probably write for characters from Stardust Crusaders, but I don't mind writing for other one of your favourites, something platonic or romantic, whatever you wish!

Self shipping is always welcome! I won't reply to everything though, so I apologise for that :( but I'm open for your suggestions! I'd rather keep it family friendly in here but who knows 👀

Feel free to request and I'll see what I can do!

"fragile"

Jotaro x gender neutral reader

hii! it's my first oneshot I've written on tumblr. I hope it turned out ok. anyway, have a good day and enjoy the story from Jotaro's pov! he's a softie inside and we all know it

also I miiight be opening requests soon, I'll let y'all know when I'm ready<<

word count: 1981

warnings: there's that one swear word.. at the very beginning

Each day we're getting closer to ending it all. Each day welcomes us with difficulties such as stand user or other cases. And each day I can't help but notice how different they seem. They're anxious, but they smile at me, or other crusaders. They're being nice to everyone, even though they're also having it rough to fight and survive this hell of a time. Their stand heals our every wound even if it takes a lot of energy to do so. How can they stay so positive about everything like this? And why do I envy them at some point?

I'm scared of what tomorrow could bring, although I know I must stay strong for the others. It's getting harder and harder each fucking way to do so. And yet they stay happy, or at least it seems like that. As far as I know they were good at keeping secrets, especially about themselves and their abilities. After all, I saw their stand only a week ago, and we're on our journey for about a month now. After that fight with Anubis, the stand that used swordsmanship and his own strength at best he could to crush our lives, they did manifest it that day. That fight wasn't as successful as I wanted it to be but I've never been this tired in my life to even think about it. Or at least never been while on this trip. They showed their stand on impulse, as if they didn't mean it to and yet they'd done it. They healed me. I was tired and thought that another stand was after us, I got scared because how was I supposed to protect Polnareff, them or even myself at that point? However everything was alright, at least that's what they'd told me.

My mom.. what if we fail? I wouldn't be able to hear her caring voice, would I? I'm trying to be strong but it seems as if it's never enough. I'm getting tired, each day I don't think we're going to make it, but I always throw away these kind of thoughts to stay strong. After all they all rely on me, don't they? I rely on myself. I should be able to do it so.. why am I here, now?

I've never been worried this much in my life, not when I matured enough to be responsible for my actions. Why has it come to this? Me, not being able to sleep because of them, crying. It can't be real right? When have I become this soft for anyone? Weren't I afraid of being rejected before? And why do their voice rings in my head and I recall every moment they helped me get through something, even if I didn't ask for it.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of them being all nice to me. I've had enough of seeing their face they make when I make an attempt on making a joke. I hate it when they laugh at it even though it wasn't that funny. Their eyes, God how much I hate them. Behind those eyes hides no pity, only indulgence and patience. I'm sick of liking the sound of their voice, the way their eyes focus on me to make sure I'm okay. Their touch. Gentle touches, I thought only my mother could give them. Their touches aren't needy or curious, they seek my consent before doing anything. They respect me a little bit too much, I hate it so much. Especially now.

I've just woken up from that.. dream I've had. It was bizarre, that's all I know. I heard some noises next to me, that's why I woke up in the first place, right? But I couldn't just turn around and see what was behind me that was making all this noises. I knew exactly what it was, I just couldn't do it. As if I was frozen, I couldn't move nor breathe, I just listend to the way they cried behind me on their own bed that was next to mine. I begged to move, to do something, and yet I couldn't. It was frustrating, I started to panic slowly. I've never thought that comforting someone would be this hard on it's own.

Hearing them cry broke my heart. I've never seen them sad, nor with a frown on their face. Always smiling, wishing best for everyone and hoping to keep them safe. And yet here they are. They must have snapped, what other could've happened that made them cry like this? They were crying quietly, as if afraid of waking me up even though I'm already awake, yet they don't know that. They don't know I can hear every breath they take, or the way they try to quiet down their hiccups just to not let anyone hear them.

We all have a hard time being here, in Egypt. I should've let them cry, right? That should help them more than my simple words, I probably won't make a whole sentence even if I tried. Then why bother? I'll just try and go back to sleep, why should I care about that?

Yet here I found myself slowly turning to face them. It's dark, the only light that is emitting their shaking frame is the moon itself, as if it was showing me the way. It made me move on my own, as if I was hypnotised. By what exactly? I'm not sure. My chest started to hurt really badly, I had to do something. But shouldn't I not care and let them be? Wouldn't it be best to let them do it themselves? In fact, I'm not sure myself. Automatically I stood up from my bed and walked towards them, their back was facing me so they shouldn't have noticed me. Unless they heard me stand up and walk up go them? They must have really kept the watch out for me. Why are they like this? What happened to them?

They turned to me as if scared that I would hurt them. But they weren't scared of me, no. They must have been afraid of me eavesdropping on their little cries, that's what made them catch their breath in their chest and look at me while all I did was look at them back. Stunned as I was, all I could do was cough awkwardly and look everywhere else but their eyes.

"You uh.. you alright?" I said while feeling the nervousness build up in my stomach and a certain pain in my chest as I said those words. Their tears were shining under the moonlight that came through the small window we had in this flat. Yet they seemed to just be shocked by my presence, especially since I was standing above them.

They hadn't said anything. All they did was catch my bigger hand in theirs and bring me down to sit next to them. So I did, with a little hesitation in my movements.

They couldn't look at me, I saw the way they tried to look everywhere else but me, I've done that minutes ago, that's why it was easier to notice it. But I didn't judge them for it. In fact, I opened my arms and offered them silently a hug. I don't know what's going on but perhaps this could help? My mum used to always hug me when I was distressed, it did usually help me but she.. she said a lot of comforting words that came straight out of her heart. I couldn't do it, I'm not as open as my mum is.

Thankfully they hugged me back, in fact with absolutely no hesistation. I secured them in my arms holding around their smaller frame and let them cry their eyes out as if I was a shoulder they could cry on. My frowning eyes were focused on the door that was behind them, I couldn't think about anything logically. All I had in mind was this urge to make them smile again, to help them get through it all, without knowing the reason behind it. I patted their head a few times, hiding it in my shoulder while their arms were around my neck, hugging it tightly and crying together, but this time not as quietly as before.

I didn't judge them, in fact I didn't do much at all. And yet after a few minutes they broke the hug and looked at me with this gorgeous smile I wanted to see before. This smile that keeps me up at night and each time starts a fire in my heart. Am I becoming too soft for them? Old man told me about that feeling when he met grandma. It was similar to what I felt towards them now. I envied them before but now I see that we have some things in common. They're like a sea of emotions and hobbies I wish to find myself swimming in everyday, even dive in the deepest parts of it if possible. So mysterious and dangerous, I want to be able to seek for answers on their behaviour. I need to know that they're okay.

That realisation was the reason why I let myself slip a small smile, also in response to them lifting corners of those lips that said so many nice things to me, to all of the crusaders or other people I never cared to acknowledge. And now, those specific lips opened up a little to leave only a few quiet words for me.

"Thank you, Jotaro" - was what they whispered this night. I didn't do anything and yet they thanked me for it. Why did it leave a warm feeling in my chest? They were just appreciating the silence that fell between us. "It means a lot" then they added. I smiled up even more after those words, but quickly hid my face under the brim of my hat.

"Don't mention it." I told them while still having my arms around them. Since when was their touch so addictive? It's like I didn't want them to leave my arms. "Do you.. want to talk about it?" was what I said next, not being sure of what's bound to happened next.

All they did was shake their head, I didn't push any further, knowing how I myself didn't appreciate others doing it. Minutes has passed and we lied down on the mattress, it was a cold night after all, that was why we lied down together. I decided to sleep next to them that night. Why? Even I have no idea. The feeling of not being there for them hurt a lot more than one could've imagined. They didn't seem to mind me sleeping next to them so.. I believe it's alright.. for now. As long as I get to be their safe spot in those dark times, I'm sure we'll be fine.

That night I promised to keep them safe, no matter if their problems were huge, or trivial. I refused to believe that I could be no longer next to them to spend similar moments like these. That was another reason why I wanted to keep on fighting. I wanted to help my mum, save those who are dear to me and to have this ability of seeing Y/N next to me, simply having them close around and safe.

I felt their arms sneek around my waist. I smiled under my nose and put my other hand around their frame in hesistation. That feeling was satisfying. And it was mutual, I felt them relax under my hand which resulted in me taking a deep breath and surprisingly finding myself also relaxing in their touch.

That night, was also the night they both finally got a good sleep while being on this journey for about a month now.

so yeah this is it, I hope this small piece brings some comfort to your lives, cus I know things can get tough.. to anyone who needs this: im proud of you and hope youll be doing better soon! i believe in you guys so much :D and thank you for your time!