Maladapting Daydreaming Disorder - Blog Posts

"my child is fine" your lonely-ass child has spent so much time maladaptively daydreaming about a nonexistent romantic partner that they've imagined almost every possible scenario and will never be satisfied with any partner in real life because no one will ever compare to their fictional significant other and anyone who could will take too long to reach a level of trust and intimacy that will satisfy their agonizing desire to love and be loved

Looking at screenshot posts on Pinterest and I-

I have never considered myself neurodivergent and I’m a functional person in general (I think)

But maladaptive daydreaming and executive dysfunction are very real for me

There is no audience to perform for. No audience. You are alone, no one is seeing you. Repeat it, repeat it, repeat it and understand it. Let it sink into your mind.

A little message for my maladaptive daydreamers out there, who have a problem with their paras always knocking on the door. For the ones who always feel like someone is watching, even if you know they're not real. For the ones who are just exhausted from always being in someone's company... even if you're actually not.

You are alone. No one is there. You can let go now.

there is no audience to perform for, there is no approval, no admiration to attain. there is no role worth playing, there is no one to convince. let it go

How do you live in a real world when your mind is constantly drifting away to the fantasy. How can you stay awake, how can you love this world, how can you find love in this reality, when everything sounds so desperately dull? I'm asking for a friend.

I see myself in many things from this list. If I actually am a maladaptive daydreamer, I'm definitely not a severe case, I can mostly function, do my homeworks and chores and other stuff. My life is actually really good and I do have plans and hopes for future. But the daydreaming is always with me, since I was a child. Everywhere, everywhere I go, there it is.

I don't have my own OC's, they are always already existing characters from medias I consume... but I'm worried that I don't have control over it anymore. I feel exhausted at the end of the day from all the daydreaming, my brain hurts. Trigger can be literally anything: a movie, a TV show, books, situations in real life. The conversations with the characters are neverending, and even when I don't daydream, I have this icky feeling that someone is with me. I know they are not real, but I spend so much time in their presence, that it is hard to let them go.

When I'm watching a movie, I have to really focus to not imagine myself in it. I hate it, because it ruins the whole story, every character is suddenly me, I think about them all the time and then I don't even know, what actually happened in the story and what was just my daydream. I watch scenes from movies and random interviews on youtube, and act with them, because I already know them word by word, imagining that it's me whose actually talking. I always loved stories and now I don't know how to consume them normally anymore.

But the thing that is scaring me the most, is that I'm terrified that I will not be able to connect with other people in real life properly. For a couple of months now I feel like I'm losing my friends and they don't even know. I try to act normally, show them that I love them, but I feel weirdly dull inside. I'm so worried that I will not be able to create a meaningful romantic connection (eventho I want it soo badly) because of this yearning for some kind of thrill and passion that only fiction can give me and that I can't get anywhere else.

alright look since people don’t seem to understand why maladaptive daydreaming is a big deal here’s a grand list of some of the reasons why.

first off: yes, you little babies, maladaptive daydreaming is often characterized by:

zoning out

“snapping back” to reality

which is often followed by mild alarm and confusion like “what where am i what am i doing whats going on”

seeking emotional satisfaction in daydreams that you didn’t get from real life

it’s often developed due to childhood isolation, not having a lot of friends, having too much time to yourself as a youngling

yep also those bless-ed long car rides

being deeply comforted by music and/or alone time because it means yay daydreaming time

intricate stories that exist inside vivid imaginary worlds (called paracosms) with their own highly developed “characters” (which are called paras, and i hope you’re taking notes) 

constantly looking for an “escape” so you can daydream

repetitive motions to stimulate daydreams such as swinging on a swingset, bouncing up and down, pacing, spinning, etc.

an idealized version of yourself through whose eyes you live out these daydream stories (called parames, like para-me…)

BUT!!!! but but but but but but (and this is the stuff y'all seem to constantly be forgetting/overlooking/not taking seriously) maladaptive daydreaming is also characterized by:

deep and dependent emotional attachments to paras such as intimate friends, lovers, family, and pets that don’t exist

deep guilt due to favoring paras over “real life” (called thisverse) people

a phobia that you will never be able to care about people in thisverse and will therefore be a terrible lover/spouse/parent, etc.

trancelike states where you lose time anywhere between a few minutes to several hours straight without even realizing it until you’ve returned to reality

maladaptive daydreaming steals so. much. time.

withdrawal-like effects if you don’t daydream for a long time (even a day), such as shaking, nausea, agitation, aggression, breakdowns, etc.

you don’t control your daydreams, they do whatever they want to, they are invasive, intrusive, and often unwanted

intense absorption, so when the daydream is exciting you will get an adrenaline rush and your blood gets hot and starts to rush and you sweat and breathe weird and see red and your heart rate goes up. when the daydream is depressing you will cry with real tears and your limbs actually feel heavy

it steals an incredible amount of energy

daydreams are often violent, sexual, and/or disturbing

difficulty focusing, high anxiety

paranoia caused by a feeling that you’re under observation

compulsive behavior (like, “i have to pace right now” even when your feet feel like they’re broken… I’ve often been afraid to look down because i thought i might see blood but i couldn’t stop walking even when it hurt so much that i started crying)

sleeplessness, insomnia, nightmares

suicidal thoughts and tendencies (“maybe if i die, i’ll be with my paras”, “i can’t take it anymore”)

feeling uncomfortable in your body/with your identity (i often have trouble recalling my real name because i’m so used to be my parame’s name, i avoid mirrors because i expect to see my parame’s face and it always catches me off guard)

weight loss or weight gain

appetite loss or appetite gain

dissociation and “out of body” experiences

avoidance and the death of your social life

not being able to feel anything either neg or pos about “real life” things because you’re only concerned with your paracosms

speaking the dialogue out loud or whispering, acting out daydreams

i have seriously been asked if i’m possessed when i got caught daydreaming

it is so painful and so detrimental and it makes our lives difficult, it is not “cute”, it is not “lol relatable”, it  is not “creative”, and it is not “fake”

Is there a part two for I’ll never be like you?

I'll Never Be Like You

Part Two Part One

I think the way you said it was kind of stupid. The wording, I mean. Somehow, the way you used the term "submissive" in another context aside from sexual probably threw people off. Your point wasn't likely construed properly. In terms of a relationship, all you wanted was to be "the man", for lack of better phrasing. You had the strange desire for a boyfriend who would not only be ok with, but want you to propose. To buy him flowers and chocolate for Valentine's. You wanted to be the one to save him when he was in trouble, it's why you'd gotten so strong, after all. It was difficult to put that into words without sounding stupid, and your outburst certainly didn't help, as it was unplanned. Everyone in class thought you a nuisance now, you'd bet. Which is why you hadn't been to class in a while.

Your dorm room was locked. Three days, I think. Your eyes had been closed for just as long. Sleep was the only thing you could do. There was no way you'd be able to walk into class after what happened. Maybe if you'd come in the next day and pretended nothing was wrong it could have been played off. But you'd been in your room for too long. If you went back now they'd surely notice. They'd surely laugh.

Maybe you'll drop out instead

You'd slept for so long you'd caught a headache. At first you thought of sleeping it off. But you couldn't sleep with that much pain. You needed medicine, but students weren't allowed to keep pills in their rooms. Medicine was kept with Recovery Girl. Which means you'd have to leave your room. Which means someone may see you. Maybe you could just sleep it off. You closed your eyes and felt an immediate shock of pain.

You wouldn't be able to sleep it off.

Slowly, you crept toward the door. Pressing your ear against the wood, you attempted to listen for any footsteps. Kirishima walked by. Along with Kaminari. You'd memorized the footsteps of your classmates. Although Jirou and Momo were hard to tell apart. It was quiet for two minutes. You were checking your phone. The time had to be perfect. If you waited until five minutes someone would most likely be coming out of their room again. Three minutes was perfect. It had to be. Thirty seconds till. You began planning. Visualizing how you'd avoid the creaking wood beneath you. Ten seconds. You stood up, stretching a bit. Five seconds. The door knob, grab it. Slowly twist. You swung the door open quickly in order to keep it from screeching too loudly. Taking one step out and then..you felt something beneath you. It was squishy.

You looked down, met with a pair of sleepy brown eyes.

It was Uraraka.

Your entire body tensed, a horrified look on your face. Uraraka shot up just before you slammed the door in her face. Locked. And back to bed you went. The medicine surely wasn't worth it. Go back to your room. You pleaded, although you were sure she wouldn't. It was silent. Until, of course, she knocked.

"L/N?"

No. Go away. This is humiliating. She most certainly thought you were strange. You knew(thought) she could never actually like you. Especially not after all that's happened.

"I just...wanted to talk. I've been- we've all been worried about you. You haven't been to class in awhile." Well of course you hadn't. What kind of idiot would go back to class after saying something as stupid as 'submissive girlfriend'? What kind of backwards world would you be living in if you believed it was fine to do that? It was a spur of the moment thing. Brought on by harsh emotions. Uraraka must have been an idiot if she expected you to return after that. No, that's likely the mental illness talking. You don't believe those things about her. It's not fair to think something like that about her when you don't truly believe it.

"I think it's not good for you to stay in your room for so long. I must have startled you, lying out here. I'm sorry. Can I come in?"

You thought it best not to answer. You were sure she would leave eventually. This was a problem you would not face. Perhaps jumping out of the window would do well. You would grab onto each ledge on the way down. So you wouldn't be harmed. Would that work? Run away, go missing for....ever(?). Yes, you're sure that would be the best solution. You peeked out from under the covers, staring at the window.

You jolted up, however, when there was a sudden pounding on the door. It shook you as multiple hands began beating on the wood from different angles. It couldn't have been just Uraraka.

"We love you, L/N!!"

It was gradual. One by one you heard positive affirmation after positive affirmation. It grew louder and louder.

"Please come out so we can give you a hug!!"

"You better have been brushing your teeth in there!!"

"I'll never forgive you if you have a cavity!"

"Shut it! L/N's too pretty to get a cavity!"

That's not how that works.

Pieces of paper began to be shoved beneath the door. Shaped like hearts, stars, and rainbows. Hesitantly, you crept toward the door and picked them up.

"please don't change. I'd never forgive myself if I made you feel like you had to."

"I LOVE YOU"

"YOURE TOTALLY HOT"

"PLS PEG ME"

You've gotta be joking. This is so corny. More and more letters came in, crowding under the door. How could you keep them all? How could they all be true? Surely they were ly-

There was another one. And another. You couldn't think. They couldn't love you the way they claimed to. You couldn't have been as great as they claimed. The beating on the door stopped, but the verbal assaults(positive) continued.

"Please come out!"

"We miss hanging out with you!!"

"You still owe me a piggy back ride!"

This was too much.

"Let's be friends like we were before!!"

They couldn't mean all this

"Have you been training? Can I train with you?!"

How could they ever want to-

"We're still besties, right?!"

They must have been lyi-

"There's a new boba shop opening up! Let's all go together!!"

At one point it was incoherent. But suddenly, altogether

"We miss you, L/N!! Let's be friends again!!"

. . .

When did you start crying? You think it must not matter. What a headache you'd have after this.

You pressed your forehead against the door, sobbing against the wood. Sliding to your knees, your friends went quiet. Surely they must have hated you. They cared for you so much. How could you ask for anymore?

The best feeling in the world. You're sure it must be acceptance.

"I'm sorry." You wept

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to worry you. I never meant to-"

"L/N?"

. . .

You'd come to know him as the most accepting person there would ever be. Somehow, you found him trying to save even the villains. It could never be said that he'd given up on anyone.

That is the kind of person Izuku Midoriya is.

"It's been awhile. You've been in there for three days. I hope you've been taking care of yourself." His voice was calm and gentle. You soon realized you hadn't heard him speak from the very beginning. His voice was at your level. He must have been on his knees as well. "You made quite the mess back in class. Who do you think had to clean that up?" He laughed a little. "Still, I'm glad it happened. Maybe that's selfish, but I'm happy I was able to know you a little more. I know it must have been scary. I know it must still be. But I want you to know I like those things about you. Your confidence, how bold and strong you are. I've never known you to let those attributes get to your head. You've always been kind, since the day I met you." There was a pause. He smiled "Do you remember when we went on that mission together? It was tough, and at the end you picked me up and spun me around like we were getting married. It was so embarrassing, but I never said I didn't like it.....I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

You recalled said mission. Along with picking him up. You noticed his red and uncertain features and put him down with a swift apology. He assured you it was fine, but he couldn't look at you without going red for awhile. You had taken it to mean something negative.

"Despite all that, I still want to be friends. Even if that's all we'll ever be. I'd never want to lose you, that would hurt too much." He went silent.

Uraraka had of course noticed the hints Izuku laid out. But she knew he still wasn't sure if this whole situation was about him. In fact he was sure it wasn't. That's why he refused to confess. He could never say such a thing while you were in this state. It was fairly obvious the two of you liked each other. Far more clear to Ochaco now that you told the truth.

She lost. This was it.

"So please. Please come out. I miss you. We all miss you. Let's be heroes. Ok?"

It took strength. Quite a bit, in fact, to stand up. But you did, and they all heard it. Izuku leaned back in anticipation, not sure if it was true. Slowly but surely, you unlocked the door. It slowly creaked open and there you stood. Wrapped in a blanket, looking at the floor, and still six feet tall.

You said nothing, but there was nothing to be said.

A blunt force slammed into you almost immediately. You stumbled back as the sheer force of your friends pulling you into a hug threw you to the ground. You were there for only a moment before they hoisted you back up and dragged you out into the common area. A large feast was almost finished being set up. Aizawa had evenly distributed food onto everyone's plate. Though the biggest plate was yours. Apparently, allegedly, and supposedly, Sero texted Mr. Aizawa to let him know they'd gotten through to you and the feast was on.

You were placed in between all of your friends as they welcomed you to take as much food as you wanted. They were quite close.

Izuku sat right next to you, encouraging you to eat. He clarified, though, that it was alright if you could only handle a little. He smiled that smile you loved so much. You were sure it would be ok. You were sure 'How Much Do I Hate Myself Today?' the gameshow you'd always found yourself the winner of, would be off the air for awhile.

(luckily, ive done you the favor of removing body odor from this universe. we all know you'd stink if I hadn't)

Slowly, you picked up your chopsticks and reached out for the first bite of food you'd had in days. Everyone noticed. They watched in silence. You took a bite.

"It's really good."

I’ll Never Be Like You

Deku x Reader Part Two

A/N + Summary: This might be long, and it might be two parts. Most notably, this is simply a vent. My Maladaptive Daydreaming keeps bringing this thought back to me. I hate it, it keeps reminding me of truths I wish weren’t truths. But, you didn’t really come here to hear about that. 

This fiction encompasses my own hatred of my failure to fit into societal norms. 

I am(if not already apparent) fully and completely aware of the fact that only a driblet of people experience this sort of insecurity, and despite me calling the reader one, I myself am a weirdo. I understand that this is quite possibly the least relatable thing I will ever write. But, since adding this small portion to this blog, I’ve stopped thinking about this as much, which is a win win for me. 

A proper summary would go something like this: 

Uraraka had always been the type of girl who didn’t realize how amazing she was. How beautiful she was. How normal she was. Normal, compared to society’s standards. Somehow though, she’d found herself threatened by you. In the least aggressive way you can take that word, anyway. You, despite knowing your shortcomings(meaning, your likelihood of ending up with him), flirted with Deku on the regular. She didn’t know your feelings for him, and assumed you didn’t have any (seeing as you hadn’t made any moves, despite your obvious flirting), so she found herself frustrated by you leading the poor boy on. After the feelings welled up, she decided she’d confront you, though it didn’t go well at all.

Inspiration: https://youtu.be/fC3Pif6iTlk  

ATR (About the Reader)

Reader is AFAB

Reader is taller than average(about 6ft+)

Reader has a muscular build(Like Mirko, ya know?)

Reader’s physical strength rival’s that of Bakugo

Reader prefers to be dominant in all aspects of a relationship

Reader might have depression

Reader wishes they were normal

----------------------------------------------------------

The evening had been calm.

Currently, you were in the kitchen, preparing your meal for the next day. Excitedly you had done so, as Midoriya and Todoroki had come back with fresh groceries and some of the best snacks you could have asked for. Most if not everyone was getting ready for bed. Of course, there were exceptions like the night owls, Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero, Jirou, and Ashido. You hadn’t expected Uraraka to be awake, though. Even more so you hadn’t expected her to approach you at such a time. It was late, the two of you weren’t exactly the best of friends, and you knew very well that the two of you shared a crush(whether or not she was aware of this fact was something you hadn’t known), to put it bluntly, it didn’t make for the best combo.

“L/N?” She began. Her voice was small, as if it had been caught in her own throat whilst trying to escape “Can I ask you something?” Subconsciously your hand sped up, packing your lunch slightly faster than before. 

“Yeah, what’s up?” followed by silence. Had she forgotten what she wanted to ask you? How awkward, though you can admit most guys would have found her shyness adorable. Had you already added that to the list? Metaphorical list, you hadn’t actually made a list of the things she had that you only wished you did. 

“Um, I just wanted to ask you,” she’d shaken you from your thoughts, thank goodness, you were seconds away from spiraling “Do you...have feelings for Deku? It’s- It’s alright if you don’t want to...answer. I-I was just wondering! B-because...”

“Why do you ask?” Seemingly annoyed, you cut her off. Instead of sending you spiraling, Uraraka had managed to fire right into the one topic you hated thinking about. Not that it was her fault in any way. Your triggers aren’t her problem. “I’m not sure that’s much of your concern..” somehow, you’d managed to bring yourself back down, cooling off just as fast as you’d managed to heat up. 

“You flirt with him quite a bit. I was just wondering since you never actually asked him out...to my knowledge, anyway...” Up till now, Uraraka had fixated her gaze to the floor, holding her hand to her chest. She‘d willed herself not to look at you “So I assumed you had feelings for him.”

“And if you’re wrong?” It was a bad response, what you should have said was ‘What if you’re right?’ 

No idea what willed you to say that shit. Weirdo. 

“Then...” her hand fell, now finding refuge at her side. It had now been clenched tighter than before, her frustration building “..you’re just cruel. You shouldn’t lead him on like that, and you know it.” 

You’re lunch was done by now, perfectly packed and neat despite your inner turmoil. With a sigh, you closed up your lunch box and turned to leave. Uraraka wasn’t having any of that “That’s not fair to him, L/N! You know what you’re doing is wrong!” And she was right. At least from her own list of assumptions. If they had been correct, she’d be completely in her right to tell you off. But the things she clung to as facts, they weren’t. They were nothing more than assumptions that didn’t have enough backing to be taken to court. And for her to treat them as if they could have been, when she knew next to nothing about you..

It was somewhat annoying.

You, however, didn’t really want to dwell on this much longer. 

“You don’t know anything about it. So you shouldn’t speak on it.” 

An attempt to cut things short. 

Futile.

“I don’t mean any disrespect, L/N, but if you keep treating his feelings like they don’t matter...”

You stopped walking, mildly intrigued. And she continued.

“I’ll have to stop you by force.”

It was interesting, given the circumstances. Uraraka had to know her chances were low. She stood just over 5′1 as compared to your 6+ feet, and her build wasn’t much to write home about strength wise. If you were making a doujin, however, she’d probably beat you out. This wasn’t a hentai, though, and your physical strength alone could have easily put her down for the count. A bit of Gunhead Martial Arts wasn’t going to change that fact so easily.

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

----------------------------------------------------------

To make a long story short, you’d paid her warning no mind. Despite knowing it was futile, you couldn’t help but indulge yourself in praising Izuku Midoriya as always. He’d walked into class and you once again followed a routine you had begun a few days prior.

“Hey, Deku! You look so beautiful today.” 

You called it out from your seat, and watched in amusement and adoration as he burst into flames, despite you having complimented him in a similar way before. He sputtered in that cute way he always did, mumbling and falling over his words. Poor thing still wasn’t used to being told that he was gorgeous. 

Eventually, he’d managed a frail ”T-t-thank you...y-yo-you t-too!” before rushing to his seat. He’d covered his head with his arms, blushing furiously as he greedily allowed himself to drown in the compliment.

You really had fallen for the boy. He was far too cute. But not just that, he had the kindest soul you’d ever had the pleasure of being friends with. You knew, however, that he’d never feel the same. Not with the way you were. Not with the way you’d chosen to be.

Uraraka, who had walked in with Deku along with Iida, was none too pleased with this statement. Maybe, if she’d known that it was genuine she wouldn’t have minded. She would have simply watched with that soft gaze of hers. Staring on, allowing Deku to find happiness with whomever he’d chosen. She would have buried her feelings, held her tongue, closed her mouth, had she known that you truly loved Midoriya.

But she didn’t.

Instead she believed that you had no feelings at all. Found some sick pleasure in toying with his emotions. She very well could have left it alone. Closed her mouth while the one she loved was pulled by a string that would surely lead him off a cliff. Cut so easily and without a care. She couldn’t allow it. She wouldn’t let you play with him like that.

----------------------------------------------------------

As it had happened many days before, All Might found his way to Midoriya during lunch. The two had left right as lunch began, the first two to leave. The first two to miss it. 

Aoyama, who sat back in class to eat(the food hurt his tummy) had no intention of getting up, though many of the students began to make their way out of the class. The majority of them stopped, though, when Uraraka spoke up. Her annoyance had built up far too much. 

“Do you really think any of this is funny, L/N?”

As opposed to the day before, her voice was clear. It rang throughout the room with confidence. It reached the ears of classmates who had already made it outside of the classroom. They’d made it a point to look back, rerouting in order to witness the commotion about to ensue(though, they had no idea this was the case, of course).

You had been on your way out of the room, and turned around to face her. You’d almost forgotten the conversation you had the night before. Forced it out of your mind so as to not send yourself into another episode of “How Much Do I Hate Myself Today?”. A game show you’d always found yourself the winner of. 

You were the only player, though..

“You really are treating this like a joke. It’s just some game to you, isn’t it?” A scoff found its way to the brunette’s eardrum. “You know nothing about it.” a repetition of the phrases spoken the night before “So you can’t speak on-” 

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” As if a new found fire had been lit under her, she picked her head up, staring into your eyes with determination that rivaled that of the Sports Festival. “I won’t... I won’t stand by and let you keep this awful act up, L/N! If you really care about him at all, you’ll stop!” 

A single foot was propped up on her desk, like she was readying herself to jump, to leap over the desks separating her from you. To sock you in your face. To knock you out, to do something. Uraraka couldn’t help but wonder though, was this the right choice? Was she doing the right thing? She couldn’t have known. All she did know was that she couldn’t stop herself. Not anymore. And especially not with you egging her on like you were.

“Stop me, then.” 

That was as much as it took. She was fast, leaping from desk to desk. She’d only used one foot to change direction each time, which allowed for almost no time to think. Quickly you’d pushed Jirou out of the way, kicking up a chair to use as defense. Ochako gripped onto the legs of the chair, protecting herself as she shoved you with her foot, pulled the chair away and threw it to the opposite side of the room.

Wait, who was in the right again?

It didn’t take long for Kirishima and Ashido to run out of the classroom. 

All Might, he’d fix everything. He’d stop this. He had to. He was All Might, after all. They’d found him in his lounge with Deku as normal. He seemed all too calm before he’d seen the panicked looks on his students’ faces “All Might, Deku! Come quick!” the two cried.

Tch, snitches.

By now, the room was a mess, desks thrown on their side and not a single student stopping the two brawling in the middle. A few phones came out. For evidence, of course. 

You’d barely taken a scratch as opposed to Uraraka who’d been covered in bruises. Her fire failed to subside, and she took her opportunity to grasp the upper hand when you stepped back, tripping over a pencil so carelessly left on the ground(it was likely, however, that you’d knocked it down when the two of you were throwing desks). 

A simple stumble was all it took for her to be on you. Uraraka leaped forward, hands placed firmly on your shoulders as you toppled over.

You hit the ground.

It was now you could clearly see the rage on her features. Her hair was disheveled, her lip was bleeding and tears formed at the corner of her eyelids. 

“You’re nothing more than a coward! A spineless, coward!” 

She was wrong.

“How dare you even for a moment pretend like his feelings don’t matter! How dare you treat him like he’s everything, yet feel nothing?!”

It wasn’t true.

“You…! Why you..!” she’d raised her fist, and for a moment you considered letting her beat you senseless. Wasn’t it what you deserved? You’d let her believe you didn’t care about Deku at all. If you’d just been honest, this could have been avoided.

But you’re not nice enough to let her pummel you just to blow off some steam. If she didn’t understand, you’d just have to explain. 

Uraraka slammed her fist forward. You even gritted your teeth, ready to counter. This blow never came though, as a familiar hand gripped onto the wrist of the girl above you, pulling her back. 

Speak of the Deku.

“Uraraka, stop it! Calm down!!” A familiar voice, along with a face to match emerged. Not that you really cared though. Swiftly, you jetted upwards, rage pumping through your veins. Your intention had been to fire back. To hit her in some way though, your attack had been intercepted as well. Two large hands(likely larger than your face) wrapped around your own forearms. You made an attempt to fight against them, but it was futile. “Calm down, Young Lass, there’s no need for violence.” But you didn’t hear him. Uraraka didn’t either, her assault continued

“Spineless!!”

“Coward!!”

“Wicked wench! You can’t do anything but toy with the emotions of those around-”

It was your foot. Luckily, she’d been in range so the toe of your sneaker could properly clobber her from below. The sound had rang out clearly, along with her own grunt at the impact.

“Keep your mouth shut!!”

Suddenly it was your turn to speak.

“You know nothing about it!! Who are you to tell me how I feel?! You have no idea how lucky you are! You have no idea how beautiful you are! You have no idea...how normal you are!!” 

It was silent for a bit. 

“I would give anything to be like you! To be shy, easily flustered. To be short and cute. To be so...wanted.” They started to flow. The oceans pent up by the dam of your own pride. They’d spilled over at that one word. It was all you’d ever wanted. For someone to want you. “I can’t believe you ever felt even the slightest bit threatened by me. It’s comical you ever believed that I even so much as stood a chance with him! Nothing I say to him matters and it never will because he’ll never look at me the way he looks at you. I’ll never be the perfect girl the guy can save when she’s in trouble. I’ll never be the girl who fits so well into society’s standards! I’ll never be the submissive girlfriend that every guy wants!! You shouldn’t even so much as glance at me because I’ll never be as perfect as you are!!” 

All Might’s grip on your wrists loosened as his face softened. Deku stared at you with those round pools of green you’d fallen in love with so long ago. A concerned look that would have stabbed you straight through the heart had you been paying him any attention.

You weren’t though, instead you locked eyes with Ochako, who’s eyes had been wide with shock and a hint of sadness.

“I do love him, Uraraka. But none of that will ever matter,”

With that your arms were set free, along with the waterfalls now streaming down your cheeks.

“Because no matter how hard I try, I’ll only ever be me. I’ll never be like you.”

You kept your head down, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. 

You trudged out of the classroom, silently.

 No, you’d never be like her.

Real, I’m lying in my bed listening to Lana de Rey and daydreaming 🩵

(not me/mine)

Can’t sleep

Just daydreaming about me being a completely different person and spending time with my new imaginary family/friends since I created when I was 16/17 .

It’s kind of fun because I get to be my weird true self without a care of being judged. I can literally explore new and different places in my head.

Yet, depressing bcuz they’re not real people

( my daydream problem started when I was 10 years old in the middle of summer. I don’t know why or how it happened. Ever since then I can’t stop)

Daydreaming everyday from morning till night/ until I fall asleep