Misgendering - Blog Posts
PSA
Still using they/them after finding out someone's pronouns doesn't include they/them is misgendering
If someone specifies that they don't use they/them, don't use it. That's misgendering them.
Using they/them after someone has specified that they don't use they/them is misgendering
If you continue to use they/them after learning that they don't use it. You are misgendering them.
They/them is misgendering if you know their pronouns (and it doesn't include they/them)
Again for the people in the back,
They/Them is not a catch all pronoun if you know their preferred pronouns already
Somehow there are people on this website who can say “I’m a transfeminist” and also “it’s okay to misgender trans people if they disagree with me” and not realize they’re not really being transfeminist.
Yeaaaah transandrophobes are prone to misgendering any trans person they don't like, because according to them we're all secretly anti-feminist men in disguise :(
Seriously though, I think it's the attitude a lot of them have that goes "I only care about other queer people who are exactly like me and share my beliefs and experiences. Everyone else is my enemy." So it blows their mind when people who aren't trans men advocate for y'all. They can't comprehend caring about other people.
Oh! So apparently “transandrobros” is used to describe anyone who sticks up for trans men, so this means that any trans woman/fem who sticks up for us is targeted and misgendered! That’s awesome! This will definitely protect trans women and fems from transmisogyny!
Name a better couple than transphobic trans people/misgendering anybody they don't like, I'll wait
My posts are all: "Hey, don't talk over trans men when they want to discuss their oppression!" "Nonbinary people aren't being treated very well right now, and we're being erased by the rest of the community." "Trans men and trans women aren't enemies." "Care about identities that aren't your own, include other trans people in your advocacy."
Which is apparently a grave enough offense to misgender me and compare me to a nazi, go figures.
It goes to show that some people are really transphobic before they transition, and they refuse to address this after their egg cracks.
People who deny the existence of transandrophobia tend to focus on 2 types of trans men:
Pre-transition or very early-transition men, who are often closeted/treated as women by society.
And post-transition men, who are stereotyped as passing perfectly and having all of the privileges and power of cis men.
They use the post-transition man as an example of the supposed “systematic power” they believe ALL trans men hold, claiming he directly oppresses him and benefits from the patriarchy. They ignore the fact that in order to maintain any semblance of this he must be closeted and hide the fact that he is trans at all times. They ignore that he will still inevitably face medical discrimination, as the medical field is notorious for treating transmasc individuals poorly. Because this man is indistinguishable from a cis man in their eyes, it becomes morally acceptable for them to hate him.
And they use the pre-transition trans man as a punching bag. They stereotype him as a “whiny, privileged he/they” that “weaponizes and clings to his femininity” and always plays the victim. Notably, they echo all of your standard truscum bullying tactics. They mock his choice of name, stereotype his interests as “cringe” or childish. They treat him not as a trans man, but as a future detransitioner, a future terf, a cringey teenage girl. And if they can make themselves believe that he’s not truly trans, he becomes the perfect “acceptable target.” After all, trans people can’t really bully their oppressors, so when they do it, they’re actually punching up.
Now, their perceptions of these men are bullshit, obviously, but what’s even worse is their refusal to acknowledge the third and most common group of trans men in the community: Mid-transition/visibly transgender men.
Men with visible facial hair, low voices, and breasts. Men who have traits that are commonly regarded as both feminine and masculine. Men who cannot afford or do not personally desire top surgery, but have decided to hormonally transition. Men who have fully transitioned, but enjoy dressing in clothes society deems “feminine.” Men who have not transitioned medically, but have masculine haircuts and clothing and names. Literally any trans guy with visible top surgery scars.
The list goes on.
The people who claim transandrophobia isn't real refuse to acknowledge that visibly transgender men even exist, because these men don’t fit into their worldviews and weaken their arguments.
At the end of the day, society hates anybody they can identify as trans, most often anyone who’s visibly GNC and/or visibly transgender. Cis people react to your existence with disgust and fear. It doesn’t matter if you’re a trans woman, a trans man, nonbinary or intersex- if they cannot sort you neatly into the categories of “man” and “woman”, you are regarded as something that’s not truly human, an enemy. And because it’s all based on perception, even perisex cis people are caught in the crossfire of this- especially if they’re POC.
Those who deny this are contributing to the erasure of trans men and enabling future violence against them.
Hey we all know pronouns aren't a privilege, right?
It doesn't matter how "annoying" a trans person is, it doesn't matter if they disagree with you on some intracommunity issue-
Use the pronouns they have in their bio, or the pronouns they ask you to use. Even if you really don't like them, or you think they're problematic.
Your comfort with somebody's pronouns isn't a factor. Using ANY other pronoun for a user that prefers it/its is misgendering. Same with neopronouns. If you can't manage it, don't talk to it.
Oh and just to be clear-
Claiming that a trans woman's account is actually "run by a man" is misgendering. Saying a trans man's blog is part of some "secret terf circle" is misgendering. Pretending a person is actually your oppressor in disguise so you can misgender them is, get this, misgendering!
I don't care how much you dislike someone, use the right fucking pronouns.
hey full offense but the ‘use the right pronouns even if the person is horrible!’ statements arent made to coddle horrible ppl, its saying ‘dont view correct pronouns as a fucking privilege that can be taken away once people decide you’ve fucked up enough’, misgendering someone on purpose is transphobic no matter what bc it equates transphobia as a ‘punishment’ for bad people, pronouns are a part of baseline human respect, its that simple
The eternal question, how much of a fuss do you want to kick up over being misgendered by relatives you don’t see very often?
I went to my grandpa’s birthday a while back and... Yeeaaahh...
I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but it did really bother me.
Detrans Me Notes Game Challenge
17/03/2025 - 17/03/2026
So. I decided to join in on the Notes Games I've been seeing around the place. 😳
I've been thinking I'd like to test expecting people to try more interesting ways of upping the note count though, hopefully turning the post itself into something fun for everyone else to be engaging with itself, not just the knowledge I'll be doing everything the hit Note Goals say. [Thereby upping the note count as more people engage with it...]
PLEASE READ EVERYTHING BELOW BEFORE ENTERING THE COMMENT SECTION
(I will be honest about this and stick to my promises here because the point of this game is me enjoying being ‘forced’ into accepting these consequences. I myself chose to put them on here. Nothing I've included has been coerced in any way. I'm a consenting adult who has decided to do this challenge specifically because I've found I really enjoy degradation and handing over control in certain ways. Forced Feminisation - especially through brainwashing - is apparently a big one, so feel free to go as hard as you like on anything listed here which gives you any level of control over how feminine things I get end up being or how much I'm being hypnotised into behavioural and mental modification. And obviously do try to get these notes up; I'm excited to have no choice but to do these things, even the big, riskier goals at the end. I know I firmly say 'this is just a kink' all the time, but engaging with this post specifically hoping it changes me is fine. I really want to test the line/experiment a little and see if my brain can resist that much conditioning and still feel masc-leaning nonbinary at the end, or if that identity is shaky and easily remoulded into a more feminine form. 😳 The risk of actually being pushed over the line is part of the kink here this time. The only exception is that I will NOT be stopping my Testosterone until I have the voice I want. I may play with people encouraging me to go off it, but going off it suddenly without consulting a doctor is dangerous and I'm not doing that for kink. And if my mental health starts to take a real life hit, I will be either pausing the game on my end or closing it entirely. My safety comes first.
Transfemmes please DO feel welcome to comment NSFW directly toward me on this post. [See my Pinned for why this is relevant. My personal limits are complex for trauma reasons, but I've decided to try opening up a little with this game as part of getting the fuck over it because most transfemmes are wonderful people and my fear is disproportionate and ridiculous. Help me relax and enjoy it again if you feel comfortable doing so. If you always follow boundaries, you are a safe person. It's as simple as that.]
Please only post sexual comments directed straight at me like the type I've suggested below if you are 25+. I've explained this in my Pinned. You can like and reblog if you're 18-24, and please do if you want to, but please also stay out of the comments section itself unless you're directing your comments at someone else other than me, it's a not-direct-kink suggestion for the Notes Goals like ‘what if you do this thing for longer to make the stakes higher’ or something, or it's SFW in nature. Interactive goals I want only 25+ year olds to interact with will be marked as [25+ Only] at the beginning. Please feel free to interact with/follow any that don't say that.
ALL ages above 25 are welcome to directly engage me in kink. Yes, that includes dirty old people. I'm almost 30; I've pretty much reached the most sexually mature I'm going to get as far as I can tell. You're doing nothing wrong interacting with me sexually. I know what I'm doing and I doubt even more age can take that any further now, but feel free to talk to me in DMs first if you want to test how mature I am to feel sure I know what I'm doing with myself.
MINORS DNI ENTIRELY OBVIOUSLY - LEAVE THIS POST ALONE AND GO BACK TO YOUR OWN SPACES
SPAMMING IS ALLOWED, HOWEVER, THIS GAME HAS RULES TO HOPEFULLY MAKE IT A LITTLE MORE ENGAGING:
1. NO Daddy/Mommykink, Ageplay, Inc*st, Scat/Piss/etc, Rimming mentions, or any type of Anus/Urinary Tract To Mouth, thank you. I reserve the right to those hard limit boundaries still. Ykinmkato of course. I'm not saying this to shame you. I just need it kept off my post. [If you manage to come up with something else I didn't know existed and it turns out to be a hard limit for me, I'll just add it on here/my Pinned limits list and your comment will be deleted but still counted with a ‘Good for one note’ comment from me in its place.]
2. No single numbered comments or the same comment over and over again or single word comments, or anything else you think of to make this too easy and quick or it won't be fun for anyone. Every sentence must be complete. You can send one sentence per comment if you want to be facetious, but they must be complete sentences; no breaking them up to double your note count. And it's a limit of 4 individual sentences per day otherwise you need to get creative and write paragraphs. Key word here is CREATIVE. Everyone does lazy spamming. I want to make something new with this. 🧐 If you can come up with multiple comments with each containing 2-4 sentence things to say to me - taunting me with how you'll go about making this get lots of notes quickly, your usual repertoire of kinky detrans ideas, etc - go for it. :D You can degrade and belittle and misgender and demoralise me to your heart's content in there, just write lots of it in multiple paragraph comments. Have fun. Don't you want to keep me in suspense, always nervously checking the notes to see if they've gone up again? Half the fun is making the game last and steadily making me do more and more... keyword 'steadily'....
3. Each comment must be original, at least in the sense that you as an individual haven't said it in the comments yet; other people having said it is fine and your version still counts.
4. Each comment will be counted as a note even if it's in a reply tree, so feel free to talk to each other as well, just stay relatively on topic even if you’re not talking about me specifically.
5. [25+ only] Surprise me. Amuse me. Delight me. DEGRADE ME. Talk about how these things will turn me into a girl no matter how much of a game I'm treating it or other things along those lines or whatever else you can think of to really drive home the forced feminisation theme of this game. Go about your day, think of something else, and come back into the comments to share it. Attack my psyche and question why I'm doing this. Am I doing it for fun as a sure-fire nonbinary with a kink or do I just secretly want permission to be a girl? Try to convince me of it. This is consensual kink. Go for your life. [If it accidentally crosses a boundary I forgot to lay or didn't clearly communicate then I'll just delete it and write a comment in its place saying ‘Good for one note’ since that was still a note and should count toward the game. This will only be done if the comment definitely doesn't violate already existing limits listed here.] DO feel free to talk about me like I'm not even there reading all of these. [Just remember boundaries because I will in fact be reading them.] DO misgender me in the third person. Speculate on what my deadreal name might be and why you think it suits me. Talk about what you want to do to me/how you would forcibly detransition me if you had more control than I've already given you here and compare notes with others [25+ only] etc. Just because I won't do something irl doesn't mean you can't taunt me with the idea of it, like making me go without my IUD to an orgy and get men to creampie me and don't take a plan B. Talk about what a coward I am for not going off T and how much better I'd feel if I just stopped taking it, etc. Whatever you like. Just have fun with it. :D This is about all of us enjoying degrading me through forcing feminisation onto me/talking about most things to do with that even if it's not a goal on here, and me having fun being ‘forced’ to do these things. I want to come into the comments both horrified by the note count and actively intrigued by what people are saying to me/about me to others. 🫣
Don't just spam random sentences/focus solely on increasing the note count. Enjoy yourselves. Get creative with it. The note count will go up just fine. :D
6. OH AND REMEMBER TO REBLOG FOR REACH. Also, there's a very special goal set for 500 notes involving reblogs, and if you get REBLOG note count up high enough I'll have to say a LOT of extremely feminising lines including calling myself my deadname. Just think, if you get me hundreds reblogs I'll be saying "My name is ...." so much I might accidentally deadname myself when someone asks my name...😰
NOTE GOALS:
Every 10 Notes - I listen to one round of Mistress Lillith’s Passive Feminisation track with a vibrator on my clit, edging myself while touching both of my nipples. [Countering with Passive Masculinisation is allowed. For now...]
Every 25 Notes = People get to pick their favourite/whichever tracks they like of detrans/feminisation/bimbofication hypnosis from anywhere and I have to listen to them all the way through, with people submitting them specifying if they want me to close my eyes for it or watch a spiral. [I'll pick and listen to one for each 25 notes. So if, for example, I get 10 sent to me in the next day or so after this reaches the first 25 notes, I'll be listening to them over the course of 250 notes. Up to you if you want to send those to the comments to be counted for further notes or send me an ask if you want to include a specific spiral you want me to watch while listening etc]
Every 50 Notes = I shave and keep my leg hair to feminine smoothness for another week.
75 Notes = I listen to a Mistress Lillith feminisation or bimbofication file every night before bed for a week. [Safety File allowed. This time…]
100 Notes - I listen to every single one of @confusedcunny 's detransition audio files [excepting Detrans December as I want to do that in December if I do it at all] in one night, edging the whole time. I'm not allowed to cum until the end. When I am close to cumming I have to say “My name is …. “ and then my deadname as I climax. The files will have already made me say it repeatedly too.
200 Notes - I will put a handful of lingerie pictures up as potential purchase options in a poll and everyone can vote on what I get. I'll send a picture of the lingerie as proof I got it when it arrives.
300 Notes - I have to wear feminine clothes all day. I'm allowed to avoid contact with anyone in my general life while I do this and just stay home, but I'm not allowed to take any of it off until bed time.
400 Notes - [25+ only] I have to look at a spiral with my vibrator on my clit and state any mantras you guys give me (be mindful of listed boundaries!!!!), allowing a minute for each mantra. One mantra per person. Maximum of 15 because my attention span can probably only last that long with too much repetition. You can send me spiral gifs too if you put it in an ask. If you decide to post the mantra you want me to say in the comments, please put it in "" and maybe even say 'Mantra:' before it if you like.
500 Notes - I edge myself with my vibrator and have to say “I am female. I am a girl. I am a woman. My name is…” and then my deadname, while looking at a spiral. I have to say this once for every reblog note I get. I'm not too worried though because so few people reblog nowadays… 😅
750 Notes - I play Mistress Lillith’s Passive Feminisation over my earphones, listening to it constantly in my ears on loop for an hour a day for a week regardless of what I'm doing, giving it plenty of chances to creep into my mind and make me more receptive to feminisation. [Countering with Passive Masculinisation is no longer allowed. 😥]
1,000 Notes - I'll get my ears pierced and pick the girliest piercing option to have to wear constantly for 6 weeks while the holes heal.
1,250 Notes - I learn how to do makeup and doll myself up. I can’t send any pictures of my face so I'll try sending a chin and lips shot only if anyone wants to see.
1,500 Notes - [25+ only] The first 5 people to notice I hit this mark and want to DM me to participate get to go on Temu and pick any feminine thing they want me to buy and use. Only rules are that we discuss my price range at the time (remembering that 4 others will be doing the same thing) and I get to ask for another choice if I know it won't fit me or will be a sensory issue etc. But I do have to let you pick something else and keep letting you until you find something that will work. I'm not allowed to reject it for any reason except for price, incompatible sizing options or likely sensory issues.
1,750 Notes - I'll get a more feminine haircut like a pixie or something and I have to keep it like that for a minimum of 3 months. Who knows, maybe I'll like it and permanently keep it that way. 😳
2,000 Notes - I have to wear all feminine clothing and makeup while at home in private, no exceptions. Heels (unless I start experiencing health risks from them in my body), lingerie, skirt&blouse/dresses, jewellery and makeup. All day, every day, until the end of the year. If you want me dressing like this for something like 12hours a day for the next however many months there ends up being between time you get this post to 2,000 notes and the end of the year [17/03/2026], making me behave like the girliest girl I can possibly manage for over half my year, then you know what to do. 😥
3,000 Notes - I listen to Mistress Lillith’s Feminine Patterns - her most dangerously effective feminisation hypnosis file - all the way through 3x a day for a week. If you guys manage to get me to this goal by the end of May, I’m not allowed to listen to the Safety File either, exposing me to deep behavioural and mental changes which will last a while even once the conditioning and reinforcement have stopped, potentially turning me behaviourally and mentally into a girl for real until it wears off. 😰
4,000 Notes - I put together a few outfits and put them up in a poll, and people here can vote which one I wear. Then I'll wear that outfit out to a pub and sit there for an entire hour minimum while everyone there assumes I'm a girl and I'm not allowed to correct them about it if they talk about me with feminine markers. If you guys get me here by July and I can use my name non-legally while there, I’m only allowed to give my deadname.
5000 Notes - I listen to every one of Mistress Lillith’s most dangerously effective feminisation hypnosis files - including Feminine Patterns - all the way through every day for 2 weeks, without listening to the Safety File… This has an extremely high and demonstrable risk of changing me into an actual girl behaviourally and mentally until it wears off. With this level of conditioning it will probably stick around for months. 😰
Every Note Over 5,000 - is one day I have to listen to one of MistressLillith's feminisation and/or bimbofication hypnosis files all the way through without listening to the Safety File. With this level of conditioning the behavioural and mental changes will stick around for ages. 😰 This is your chance to keep my brain constantly marinating in conditioned feminine behaviours and mentality for much of a year. If anything is going to convert me back into and keep me a girl, it's this.
This Game ends a year from now. Let's see if I'm still non-binary by the end of it. 🙏😖😣😵💫🤤😳💋👰♂️💃
See link below to where I'm attempting to keep track of what I owe and will be crossing things off as I do them:
