Japan : Sir, there was an attack on the eastern front."
Germany : "Defend the border and restore everything after we won the battle."
Italy : "Doitsu, Doitsu! France is invaiding! Help!"
Germany : "Don't worry, we'll launch a counterattack. Tell your troops to prepare for a relocation in case of 5606."
All the other countries on R/place : "You're taking this entirely too seriously."